chapter 9 A day without Ryuko - Chapter 10 I’m tired
Soleil P.O.V
It was weird, I only talked to Daniel the whole school day. Every class, every hour felt numb. I stared at my phone, as my heartbeat lined up with every buzz. "Miss Fox, are you going to turn your phone off or must I come get?" "No, Mrs" I said softly. I held my phone, my ring finger holding the power button. I felt my heartbeat stop with the last buzz as I closed my eyes. "Soleil, come on class is over" I felt someone shake me. "Come on, you haven't talked to me at all today" I opened my eyes meeting brown ones. "Oh Chole" I watched as the girl smiled brightly. "Why haven't you text me?" I sat up, looking around the empty classroom. "I'm sorry, I have my phone turned off"
"Oh, Well okay, Do you want to have lunch with me?" She put her hand behind her back. "No, I'm having lunch with Daniel" I got up grabbing my bag, walking past her. "How come you don't call me Baby anymore?" I couldn't see her face, only her back. "Because you...You ruined that for me" I felt my hand clench my bag. "I ruined that for you" I could hear the anger in her voice. "Yeah, Yeah you did" She turned to me "All I did was like you" She grabbed onto her skit. "Like me?!" I could feel my fist tighten. "Yeah! That's what I did. I liked you Fuck! I could even say I love you!" I could see the tears in her eyes. "You call telling me you like Ryuko, LOVE, how can you say that?!"
"How was I supposed to know you liked me?" She shouted at me, "How could you not! I have given you gifts, flowers. Fuck I have even kissed you. But no, one is just not a fucking enough!" I throw my bag on the floor. "You can't be like this, You played with my heart, my emotions" She pointed to herself. "Do you ever think about me? I tried to stop like you, tried to stop my mind from racing. I got a boyfriend to fool myself, try and break the hold I put myself in, That you put me in!" I look down at the floor. "But I'm back in that hold again" I watched her tears hit the ground, "Do you like me?" She asked. I looked up at her, grabbing at my skit. "I pour my heart out, and you ask me if I like you?! Not a 'Are you okay' or 'I'm sorry I made you feel that way' NO! It weather or not you will have someone" I scowled at her "I like you, you do what you want with that" She walked past me, stopping at the door "See you tomorrow"
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Soleil P.O.V
I laid in my bed, tired, it's been 2 days since the fight with chole and after we went to the movies. I thought it would have been awful but it went fine. I felt like I had my friend back and not a crush but that didn't last. After the movie we went to her house. She poured me glasses after glasses of something. It was sweet but I felt tipsy, and I could remember her hand on my cheek. She got me drunk, making me unable to go home. I stayed at her house, she cuddled me the whole time I slept. My body feels gross but she did nothing to me but hold me and yet it felt wrong. I turned to my wall, I couldn't even feel my own heart beat. I could hear a knock on my door, "what?" I hear my door crack open. "You were very rude to Chole and Lily today," Elian told me as he came in. "So?"
"So? Soleil I don't understand what's wrong with you? Did something happen?" I closed my eyes without saying a word. I didn't tell my brother what happened 6 months ago. He has no idea why I broke up with Nate, or that I like girls. He has no idea what has happened between me and Chole. Can I really break that silence? "I got into a fight with Chole and I'm not over it" That's all I will tell him. I feel him sit on my bed. "It's okay, Sol, I should apologize. I thought you didn't want to tell me what's been bugging you" I feel him lean against me "Ever since you broke up with Nate, you've been angry, sad and just off from everyone. I thought something really bad happened and you couldn't tell me, but I'm glad you are still able to and just know I'm always on your side no matter what" He hugged me, I held back my tears and I held my secrets. "Thank you" I smiled "I'm glad I have you in my corner" My smile felt real, I can feel my heart beat and The fear I held is slipping from my hands, my heart, my mind. It's gone, only one thing lays that ocean. It's waves crash into me, and I can see her on the beach calling for me but she is so far away and I stopped swimming. I lost all need to but now he stands next to her calling for me, reaching out, I'm swimming, I'm swimming, I'm…"I'm gay"