Chapter Seventeen

Gemma's P.O.V.

My alarm goes off signalling that it is time to get up. I turn it off and look around towards my unslept bed. My eyes fall to the bag of white pills lying next to my books that once held 5 white oval shaped pills, now held only 3. I sighed before getting up from my bedroom floor making me to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and the girl staring back at looked nothing like the person she was last night. Her hair in a messy bun with dark blue bags under her eyes and her face pale. I snap out of my daze and get into the shower. After my long shower I get dressed in a pair of black high-waisted skinny jeans with a black shirt tucked in that said 'night thinking. daydreaming.' along with my black lace up military style boots and my black 'Metallica' pullover hoodie. I grab my book bag and laptop leaving the room just how it was yesterday morning, untouched. I walk into the kitchen and grab a red apple from the fruit bowl on the counter and I am out the door before Jess and Cait wake up.

I got to class slightly earlier than usual. I was making my way over to a seat in the middle row when I felt a presence behind me. I thought nothing of it until I sat down and saw that it was Dylan. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach; his hand brushed against my arm as he sat down next to me sending an icy chill down my spine. I looked at him to see him already looking at me smiling. "How was it?" he asked tauntingly. "I need more. How much for another 3 bags?" I asked finally giving into the temptation. He smiled brightly. "Well for you 3 bags is going to cost you £10." he said with his one hand open for the money and the other showed me the three bags. I gave him the money and put the bags into my book bag. "Pleasure doing business with you." he said with a slight hint of remorse in his eyes. I just gave him a curt nod and faced the front as the lesson began.

After the lesson I had a shift at the café and I was starting to feel tired so I took another pill and got a bus to work. I got to work and started my shift at 1 p.m. Brittney had the morning shift which I am relieved because that way I didn't have to talk to her about last night. I skipped my break and finished my shift at 7 p.m. I said goodbye to Anne and made my way to the flat. Whenever I tell someone that I am going to the flat they always ask me why I don't refer to it as home and my response is and always will be ' home is not a place, but a feeling of safety.' I have yet to find my home. I arrived at the flat to see that it was empty so I made my way to my room and started on my assignments.

*4 hours later*

My assignments are finally done. I packed away my books, charged my laptop and made my way into the kitchen to make me a cup of tea and a sandwich. I had just finished making my sandwich and was busy cleaning when the door opened and laughter came through. I turned to see Jess, Cait, Adam and Evan make their way into the flat, they immediately stopped laughing when they noticed me standing in the kitchen. Evan made his way over to me and gave a hug, I immediately tensed up until my body remembered who was hugging me. I hugged back and smiled at him. "Hey! How are you feeling? How was your day?" he asked enthusiastically. "Hi Evan! I am good. My day was alright very busy and you?" I replied with a chuckle. "It was great!!! I am waiting here for Thomas so that we can take the bus home together." he replied laughing. "That's great! If you would excuse me, I am tired so I'm going to take a nap." I replied with a slight yawn feeling the effects of the pills wearing off. I hear Adam scoff. I just roll my eyes. "No problem! I'll text you later, yeah?" Evan replied giving me another hug. I nod and smile before grabbing my tea and sandwich making my way towards the room. I enter my room and lock my door before eating my sandwich and drinking my tea while reading a book. A few minutes later I was just about to unlock my door to go place my dishes in the kitchen sink when a knock on my bedroom door sounded. I didn't answer. "I know you're awake, I can see your bed light from under your door." Said the person on the other side of the door. Thomas. I thought they left already. "Look I know that you are avoiding everyone because of what happened last night, but you need to talk to someone, anyone. Anyway, I thought that you would like to know that Evan and I are having a party at our house on Saturday and I would really like it if you came. It's a pool party and you guys can sleepover. So yeah, I hope to hear from you. Bye." he continued with a heavy sigh leaving his lips. I am now leaning with my back against the door and I can still hear him breathing. I stay silent when he eventually leaves and the front door closes. I hear the girls' room doors close when I finally broke down crying. I look down at my wrists to see the multiple lacerations that are littered across my arms some enhanced and others already fading away. I slide down against my door bringing my knees to my chest and started to sob into my purposefully bruised arms. Soon my eyes started to feel heavy and the last thing I remember is grabbing a pillow from the floor from when I was working before, I slipped into darkness.