Skipping school

Once I got home mother was standing right outside. She looked so pissed at me. Her eyes was blood shot red. Like the devil himself. Mother looked evil to me as my body begun to shivers. I ran from her as fast as I could. It's like trying to escape from the devil himself.

She looked mad as hell, hey mom, Sonia said. As she tried walking in the house. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? SONIA JAXNSON! I DIDN'T RAISE A SLUTLY CHILD! Sonia just look away with tears coming down her eyes. Cause she knew what would happen next. All she could think about was that nice lady from earlier and wishing that she was here to save her.

Sonia then ran to the bathroom door but it was locked and she couldn't go to her room cause the door was taken down. Sonia was very scared as the tears roll down her cheeks.

Mommy I'm sorry please don't beat me. I'll be a good girl. Mama please! Sonia fall to the floor as her mother beats her with the extension cord all cross her back and legs till poor Sonia passed out. Her mother drag her across the floor to her room as she kicked her daughter Sonia in the side.

Adrienne walked away from her leaving her there to suffer. She knew that this would stop her daughter Sonia from being a slut. She then wish she never adopted her. Adrienne wanted her life back, she felt stupid from wanting a child. She wanted to make sure that Sonia will never forget this day. Adrienne got her hot comb off the stove and made sure she burn Sonia all across the back. Sonia screamed in pain pleading her mother to stop. No matter what she said her mother didn't wanna hear it. She picked Sonia up by the shirt, then slapping her across the face with the hot comb. After 15 minutes of abusing her daughter she felt better. Leaving Sonia alone by herself.

Two days later Sonia made up her decision not to go to school. It was time for her to go rather she become homeless on the street. It would be a better life then being here with her adopted mother. Sonia then ran into the bathroom early that morning while her mother was still sleeping. She made sure that she had all Janet stuff packed up, putting it all into a suitcase. Sneaking out the back door carefully making sure not awake her mother. Once she got out she hide her suitcase far into woods where no one walks to. After coming back in the house 10 minutes later. Her mother was standing at the door waiting.

Where have you been ? Adrienne said with an angry voice. Um, I just needed some air. Sonia said back to her mother hoping she wouldn't get caught in a lie. As her heart begun to race. The next thing she knew her mother slapped her across the face. DON'T YOU EVER LEAVE MY BACK DOOR OPEN BRAT! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?! her mother said as she screamed really loud at her daughter. "Yes ma'am" Sonia said back as she held her face in tears. She ran to her room waiting till it was time for her to leave.

2 hours later Sonia mother was sleeping again. She put her book bag on her back. Then she realize, how was I going to survive without money? Sonia snuck inside her mother room steeling 900 dollars from her.

Sonia ran out the house as fast as she could into the woods with her suitcase. Hours, minutes, and sec passed by. But no Sonia, everyone wonder what happen to her? Then it became days upon days. Sonia didn't return home. Finally her mother figure out that her daughter was a run away, skipping school, and a thief too. She knew when she find her daughter Sonia she was going to beat her near death.

This is just too much I cried as I laid by the bus station with my blanket wrapped around me I was just too tired to get up. Someone please save me I don't know how much I can take of this I said to myself. Later on that day I had to get up and keep moving. This is now I must not look back. I have to get away from here. So I ran and ran again. I ran far as much as my legs can take me. I searched every area before I made my stay. This would be the perfect place I thought to myself as I rubbed my hand across the dirt. This was good enough for my tent building. I wanted the perfect little home that I'll build with my own 2 hands. I begun to dig and dig. I would've got a shovel then I realized I rather get my hands dirty. Once the hole was how I wanted it to be. I clean my hands good and sat under the tree. And open my book. I never leave it no where. I looked around me and took a deep breath. What am I going to write about now Sonia? My mind and thoughts was just going back and forth with each others. I love talking to myself especially when I'm lonely and alone by myself. So I try to be my own self friend. I mean since I don't really have any friends. I closed my eyes and let my mind wonder. Then boom I knew what poem I wanted to write. I picked up my pen and begun to write with my heart and soul.

Poem

Beauty of love

Beauty of the sun that shine down on your face.

The glow of the sun that brighten up your day.

Beauty of love someone gives to you

Bring the beauty to your heart

That can't never be taken away

Beauty is like butterflies in stomach when you make me smile of the days feeling sad.

Love is the beauty the joy a gift from God a light that shine down on your life.

Beauty is what on inside

Love comes from the heart and soul

God send you to be my beauty of love

Your love draws away the pain.

That's what beauty of love is to me.

Date: 6/21/17

Notes: these are the dates when I was first start writing these poems they are very old poems and written from my heart. I saved all my poems in some notes on my phone app. It's really a good app to use. To save and write stories, poems, lyrics, and quotes.

I smiled as I closed my book and put it back into my bag. I start working again and making my own cement. I wanted my tent home to be well built into ground. My hands was sore but that didn't stop me. I was determine to finish this. I can survive on my own. Who need a foster Mother anyways so as hell not me.

Step 1. put dirt into my bucket

Step 2. Pour water into the bucket with the dirt.

Step 3. Stir it until it becomes very sticky.

And repeatedly keep doing this until it turns into Cement.

I wanted it to be grey so I took out my grey paint and pour it into the bucket. I wonder if I was even doing this right. Wondering if and how didn't matter right now. I just wanted it to work so I can use it.

After another 10 more minutes I had my cement perfectly made. I was so proud of myself and I had fun doing it too. I just may enjoy the wilderness. Living like a little cave teen girl. I then begun to shape the cement into bricks. I kept doing it till I got it right. My body was becoming tired but I couldn't stop now. I just had to keep pushing myself to the limit. My hands was trying red now. So I had no choice but to stop and rest. I laid on the ground with my head on my stone pillow. I look over at all the bricks I done made.

Did I really do that all by myself? Of course you did Sonia you are a very hard working girl. I turned over and let my mind rest that took me into a very deep sleep. That relax my entire body. I felt so much at peace not being at mother house. I let my dreams invade my mind. As I started to toss and turn. Then I woke up. But no one was there. Maybe it was just the wind? After all it is my first time Sleeping outside by myself. And that's something I'm not use to. Something I don't wanna get use to. But I have no other choice but to. Only if mother wasn't the devil herself. She mistreated me very badly, the marks and the bruises she put on my back and arms. That I cover up with make up. Tears fall from my eyes while I was sleeping. My dreams turned into nightmares. Where I'm surrounded by darkness and I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. When I try to make it there. There's wolves chasing after me I scream for help but there's no one to save me. I try hiding behind a tree but they sniff me out. The trees turn into wolves too. There's no where for me to escape. The farther I run the farther I'm into the darkness. No where to run and no where to go. I'm surrounded by the wolves barking at me. The closer they get I could feel they fangs about to bite me. Falling to the ground I cried. Please don't hurt me. I don't wanna die. Then for the first time there's a white light flowing through the darkness. There stands a lady with white. Her face I barely could see it. But she's standing with a guy and next to her he's holding a sword and she's holding a shield. But I'm to scare to move. Please don't hurt me. Then I closed my eyes. Then I wake up to it being morning as the sweat drips down my face. It was just another nightmare a bad dream. Walking over by the river I took off my clothes and got into the water. It already feels weird that I'm doing this but I needed a bath a girl can't be dirty. As I was cleaning myself I heard a voice.

Hey girl? I turned and looked but didn't see no one. Is someone watching me?

Hey girl!!

Who could that be calling me? I thought to myself. No one knows that I'm even here. But what am I supposed to do now? I didn't even wanna get out of the water.

Hey I'll come to you if you want me too? NO!! I Screamed, no one here. Please stay away I said as I moved farther out into the water. You know I can just come In myself Girl. Who are you? Listen I'm just someone who take a swim here. Don't worry I won't bite. I'm naked can you wait until I get out? Oh no, I can't do that. Then what's the whole point if I can't join you. I don't know. Well it could be a trick. You came to turn me in. Now I didn't know you were a run away. Oh shit!! Don't worry I won't tell. But I'm still getting in. The guy well a teen he's cute I thought to myself. When he finally came from around the tree. My mouth fall open. Ken? Hey Sonia miss me? Jumping out the water and forgetting that I'm naked. I ran to Ken, the last time I seen him I was a little girl still moving from foster home to foster home. I hugged him as he pull my naked body close to him.

Hey Sonia I missed you so much. How did you know I was here? Maybe I just stalked you. Nah I'm just joking. Ken I missed you a lot. I can tell that you do the way your naked body is up against me. Sonia Jaxnson the girl taking a bath in the river. It's better then being in a house with a abusive mother Ken. Look Sonia won't we just hang out later. Now you know I can't do that. Of course you can I can take you on my side of town and we can hang out there. You telling me...….. I'm not telling you I'm asking you Sonia. And beside you going to need all the help you can get. I guess so Ken. But you still haven't told me how you found me. Your little ass is over the news Sonia. Your fake ass mother with those fake ass tears asking you to come back. She being so dramatic and people are believing it. Yeah only if those people knew how much she abuse me every day and beat me and drink then beat me so more and drink so more. Then at the end of the day. She tells me to die and how I'm a mistake and I shouldn't been born. Do you know how that makes me feel Ken?

I can only imagine Sonia. But everything will be alright and one day you will get your breakthrough. You just have to believe it. It's just a time of testing and faith. But for now I just wanna enjoy being here with you. Ken just made me smile. I dried off myself body. Until he run his hand down my back.

What the heck are you doing? Calm down sweet pea. Don't call me that shit alright. I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on losing it no time soon. Next thing I knew Ken had me on the ground pin down. Wow you should tell someone about these marks on your back sweet pea. Get off of me Ken. It so hard bad the pain was intense when he touched my back. The tears was already rolling down my cheeks. Please don't hurt me Ken. But he just lift me up and held my naked body into his arms. I'm so sorry this happen to you Sonia. Your foster Mother shouldn't have done you like this. It happen and I deserved it. No one deserves it and neither do you. He put his shirt on me and carried me to his car. I lean ]my head against the car window as he began to pull off. After awhile of being in the car with him I felt a little more relax. Hey are you hungry? Do I look hungry to you? Come on a girl got to eat now. What do you want in return? Why would you think that Sonia? Every guy want something in return. Every guy isn't the same Sonia. He took me through a drive thru. He brought me food and gave it to me. I didn't realize how fast I was eating my food. I even most forgotten to say thank you to Ken. I hope you like it Sonia? Like it? I love it. Thank you so much for the breakfast. No need to thank me.

I couldn't help but smile at Sonia and only if she knew that we are going through the same problems. I have lots going on in my life and where I was forced to be taken from my parents and how my mother tried her best to fight for me. But when I tried to return back home. Mother didn't wanted me anymore. She told me I'm not son of her. But this is something I will never tell no one. And how I wish I could keep Sonia at my place but I can't. Because of the social services come to my house to check up on my son and daughter. To make sure I'm treating them right. This was by the request of their mother who lied on me. Now they make it seem like I'm the bad guy. Which I'm not. That I'm a loving father who loves my children's and would give them the whole word if I could. But that's really no one else business to know that and I would really hate to be a burden on someone else. Mans don't cry. Seeing Sonia again puts a smile on my face. And I hope that she doesn't notice that I keep looking at her. And hopefully one day I will get to marry her and love her like the queen she is. I looked over at Sonia and noticed she was sleeping. Poor girl is going through so much. Ken drove to his house with Sonia. But he couldn't keep her there for long. It bother him. Dang I wish I could do something to help her. As Jack as it sounds the whole system sucks. They don't really care about us. They only care about the money and selling out their soul. Michael Jackson and Janet once said that. And it's all true, All they wanna do is take and take. Sonia isn't a bad or trouble child she just looking for someone to love her. Once I pulled up to my place I parked my car in the driveway. I got out the car and carry Sonia into my house to my extra bedroom. I laid her on the bed and putting the covers over her. She needed a nice bed to sleep on. I walked out in went to my room. Sonia beautiful and wonderfully made. Laying on my bed I thought of Sonia and how the way she use to be so happy. And now she's nothing but pain and sadness.

Weeks later no Sonia and her mother was even more mad she thought and came up with more ideas to hurt Sonia. Her mother wanted to break down her. As long as Sonia was hurt it made her mother happy.

She spend her time in Sonia room tearing down her poster and bookshelf. She even toss most of them In the trash along with Sonia clothes. She held her drink to her mouth and smiled then it fade away. Why was she even a foster Mother? She thought to herself. At the time it seem like it was a good idea. But somewhere along the way she wanted to hurt the child. Make her feel pain and she enjoyed every bit of it too. All she knew is that Sonia deserve this. Sonia isn't no better then her she thought to herself over and again.