Kabanata 5

Sorry for the late update. I'm so busy of my paperworks. I'll try to update as soonest. Thank you for the reconsideration.

Ikalimang Kabanata

Should I apologize?

She then waved at me, kaya kumaway din ako sa kanya. Teka, bakit ko 'yung ginawa? Hindi dapat 'yun. Hindi nga kami close 'di ba?

Fc siya, 'yan dapat ituring ko sa kanya. Hindi kami friends, tutal siya naman 'yung unang nag approach sa'kin. Sabihin niyo mang maarte ako, pero hindi ko talaga feel 'yung mag entertain ng tao. Hindi ko alam, pero basta gano'n ako.

Naglakad siya papalapit sa'kin, habang ako naman ay nag-aayos sa sarili ko. Baka anong masabi niya, inayos ko ang buhok ko gamit ang mga kamay ko. Napatingin ako sa kanya, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako napatulala.

Dahan-dahang nililipad ng hangin ang ibang hibla nang buhok niya. Ang mahabang straight na buhok niya at ang kanyang white skin. Her eyes is so angelic as well as her face. She's so angelic that every guy would fall for her, well except me. Hindi ako mafafall sa gan'yang mga mababae at isa pa, I need to study first before that fucking lovelife.

She smiled at me, when she reached infront of me then I looked at her. I can't stop from looking at her. Shit, anong nangyayari sa'kin. Ano 'to?

Kahibangan siguro 'to, I reroute my gaze and feels like my cheeks were burning. What's this feeling?!

"Are you okay?" she shyly asked. Then checked my face, I turn my gaze away.

"Y-yeah, I-im o-okay," I stuttered, shit. What's happening to me? Hindi ko alam, baka namamaligno na 'ko nito.

"I'd seen you crying earlier, I'm worried," this time, her cheeks flushed and can't have an eye contact in me.

"No, I'm okay just listening to such sad songs thingy," I then smiled, assuring her that I'm okay.

"Can I sit beside you?" She shyly asked and pointed the space beside me.

"S-sure," the heck, why does this girl getting to my nerves.

"Pwede ko bang marinig ang sinabi mong kanta? I'm fan of sad songs din kasi," tanong niya matapos makaupo sa tabi ko at lumingon sa gawi ko.

"A-ah? Lowbat kasi phone ko," pagdadahilan ko. Shit, not good at lying.

"It's okay, hindi naman lowbat phone ko let's find it in Spotify," kinuha niya ang kanyang cellphone sa kanyang bag.

"Get you to the moon by Kina," don't have any reason, kaya 'yun na lang sinabi ko. And besides, I love that song too.

"Oh, I found it! Here," masayang sambit niya, nag-offer siya nang earphone para sa'kin para sabay kaming makinig. Umiling lang ako.

"Pleaseee?" pangungumbinsi niya, this time natigil ako at napatitig sa mukha niya. Shit!

"May dumi ba?" tanong niya at aakmang kukuha nang salamin para tingnan ang sarili niya.

"Wala!" agap ko, at kinuha 'yung isang earphone at isinalpak sa tenga ko. Isinalpak naman niya sa kanyang tenga 'yung isa at napasandal ako sa puno gano'n din siya.

The song started, and the winds calming the peaceful place. This is a beautiful scenario.

You gave me a shoulder when I needed it~

You showed me love when I wasn't feeling it~

You helped me fight when I was giving in~

And you made me laugh when I was losing it~

Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang napasandal sa balikat ko, sinubukan kong alisin ang ulo niya pero nang tingnan ko siya ay tulog ito kaya't hinayaan ko na lang na gano'n ang posisyon namin.

Cause you are, you are~

The reason why I'm still hangin' on~

Cause you are, you are~

The reason why my head is still above water~

I close my eyes and listened to the song, pero gumalaw siya. Kaya napamulat ako at mapatingin sa kanya, teka bakit namumula ang mukha niya? Is she okay?

"Are you okay?" nag-aalalang tanong ko, pero pumula pa lalo ang mukha niya. Shit, anong nangyayari.

Napatayo ako at inilahad ang kamay ko sa harapan niya habang siya naman ay hindi makatingin sa'kin, bakit anong meron?

"Come," sambit ko, pero umiling lamang siya.

"Sige a—aalis na 'ko," nagmamadali siyang tumayo at aakmang tatakbo nang matalisod siya at natumba patungo sa'kin— kaya agad ko siyang sinalo. Napatingin siya sa'kin, naroon ang gulat at pagtataka sa ekspresyon niya.

Agad naman siyang tumayo at yumuko, ano bang nangyayari? Bakit ayaw niya akong tingnan? Maydumu ba sa mukha ko?

"Are you okay?" I confusedly asked, she just nodded.

"Why can't you look at me? Is there something wrong with my face? Did I something wrong?" sunod-sunod kong tanong sa kanya, why is she like this.

But she just turned her back at me, instead answering my question. She stepped forward continuously that made me confused more, I grabbed her hand then faced at me.

"Why are you avoiding me?" tanong ko sa kanya, naguguluhan ako. Bakit nga ba?

"H-ha? H-hindi a-ah, sige u-na na 'ko," nagmamadali itong naglakad papalayo sa'kin pero hinigit kong muli ang kamay niya.

"Really? Then why are you like this? You're making me confused to you reactions and actions. Why are you making me feel this way, huh?" natigilan siya, napalunok at nag-angat ng tingin sa'kin.

"Kasi.."

"Kasi?"

The bell rang...

When I look at the place where she was standing earlier, she was gone. Then I saw her, running away from me.

Why is she making me feel this way?

I'm just looking at the ceiling of our room, still confused of what I'm feeling right now. I can't explain this, don't have proper explanation and I can't contain it. I frustratedly messed up my hair, then suddenly I heard someone called me out.

"Mr. Ojeda? Is there something bothering you?" Shit, it's our terror teacher again. Bakit nga ba ako nagkakaganito? Blame that girl!

"Ah, no ma'am. Just confused of what was written in the board," pagpapalusot ko, pero nagtaka ako nang magsalubong ang kilay nito.

"I didn't write anything in the board yet, Mr. Ojeda. That's a stupid reason," king-ina, pa'no na 'to? Sobrang lutang ko na ba?

Does it feels like I'm floating in the air?

After that shame situation, I went at the field again to be relaxed. I don't know, but this my favorite place already. No, other lectures. So, I have my free time to relax.

I went a beneath a tree, sumandal ako sa kahoy at nagsimulang ipikit ang aking mga mata.

The air felt like humming a sweet sound through my ears, the noise of the leaves that were blown by the wind. That deafening silence. I felt so relaxed.

I got up my phone from my pocket, then searched for a nice music to listen.

Do you ever feet like breaking down?~

Do you ever feel out of place?~

Like somehow you just don't belong~

And no one understands you~

Call me crazy, but I nodded everyone of the song.

Do you ever want to run away?~

Do you lock yourself on your room?~

With the radio on turned up so loud~

And no one hears you screaming~

Sapong-sapul naman talaga ako, ano ba naman ito? I can feel the pain of the song writer. Someone said that, "If you're hurt while listening to a song, you can feel the pain of who write the song." I think, that's right.

No you don't know what its like~

When nothing feels alright~

You don't know what it's like to be like me~

To feel hurt, to feel lost~

To be left out in the dark~

To be kicked when you're down~

To feel like you've been pushed around~

To be on the edge of breaking down~

And no one there to save you~

Awtss. It really hurt, ang nagmamahal ng ganito. Kung sino pang mahal mo, walang pakialam sa'yo.

No you don't know what its like~

Welcome to my life~

So yeah, welcome to my life. This is my life, living in darkness. Society making me a nyctophile, making me alone with darkness, that I'm used to.

Someone wiped my tears, I didn't know that I was already crying. I looked at her, she smiled. She's beside me, leaning too in the tree.

"I'm here for you, max. I'm here to be your crying shoulder, I'm here to be your comforter and I'm here to be your lover," then she smiled at me.

"I know, you like or you already have your someone special but can you make me feel that I have worth too?" she asked me with teary eyes— about to cry.

"I'm sorry," I histerically uttered.

I was about to stand, but she grabbed my hand and knelt down on the ground and said.

"Please, I'm so tired of fighting. I'm tired of rejection. I'm so tired of all. Please, can you make me feel of those?" she desperately asked me.

"I'm sorry, but I can't," I left her there, standing near the tree where we stayed earlier. I know she's hurting and in pain. But I can't, I don't know. My mind keeps me saying go on, just try. But my system denied those.

I just can't explain what I felt, and I don't know. I'm too confused. I felt sorry for her, I think I would apologize to her later. Now, I felt guilty.

I'm not the only one who's hurt, but she's hurt too. What she said earlier, I think it's real and how she's desperate to beg me for those.

I think, we can meet. And clarify things, in formal way.

Blacky's Note:

I'll leave this note here, I maybe make a pov of the two girls. Para malaman din na'tin ang mga pinagdaanan ng dalawa, hindi na muna mafofocus kay max ang mga susunod na chapters. Sorry for this short and late update. It's been a while since, I updated this story. I'll find time to finish this as soonest, thank you for the reconsideration.

For the readers who still supports this story, and to me. Thank you a lot! So much appreciation!

Next update:

Next week, or this next days. I can't promise though, just wait and relaxed.

Take care and goodluck with your modular and online classes!

Just remember this quote, "Make Wattpad an inspiration not a distraction."

"Module is life, but Wattpad is lifer!"

Goodluck!