VIII: You're beautiful

Her POV

"Won't you open up to me?"

He looked up to me when I asked that question. He look so good but is terrifying at the same time. He seems to ponder about it a little bit before answering. "After what I've experienced, it's hard to trust someone again." I don't know if I saw it right but I saw his eyes flickered with pain. The pain is so real that I also felt it. He's hurting? Why? Is it real? Or is it only my imagination?

"No matter how hard it is, I will do my best. You will trust me soon, and I will make you open up to me." my eyes showed pure determination while he looked at me in awe.

"You seem confident." he said. Aish, his words seems so expensive...

"I am confident. Just give me time. " I smiled at him sweetly.

After eating, I tidied the table and washed the dishes. I need to be free at all cost. I am to immersed in what I'm doing that I almost jumped when he spoke behind me. "Do you want to hire a maid, so you don't have to do that?" he asked me and my heartbeat accelerated. He is too close that I can feel his breath on my nape. My hand froze from what I'm doing as I held the plate tightly. He really know how to mess with my chest...

"I-I could uhm d-do this. Uhm No n-need... " I stuttered out of nervousness and my voice almost trembled. I thought he would move away but instead, he rested both of his hands on the sink which made me trapped between his arms while I'm still facing the dishes. I can't looked back because I'm this proximity is suffocating. I can't breath, I'm anxious. This is torture, pure torture.

I inhaled deeply but I can't let it go because of his proximity. "Face me... wife."

Holy shh- what is happening? Why is he calling me wife now? I slowly turned around and looked down because I know how close he is, I'm afraid our faces will touch. I can't look up and I'm too nervous to look him in the eyes. "Look at me." he ordered again. No I can't. God help me I can't...

I thought my fear towards him is enough to compel me to comply in his orders but now, I can't do it. Good heavens this is crazy...

I breathed heavily. My body went rigid when he held both of my cheeks to make me look up to him. He is taller than me so I have to look up to him. When I met his soulful and deep brown eyes, I literally held my breath. "What are you doing?" I asked nervously.

"You're so beautiful..." he slowly closed his eyes and rested his forehead on mine. His face is really close to mine that my brain can't function properly. I could feel his warm breath on my face which made me more nervous. "Calm down. I won't do anything to you." he said while his eyes are still closed.

My short and heavy breaths started to calm down. For the first time, I successfully calmed myself down around him. This guy is lethal. Every part of his is dangerous.

He is so close to me. Enough to feel his skin on mine, to feel his warmth. My breath slightly calmed down but I'm still as nervous as ever. Every time he breathes, I feel his breath fanning my skin and my body tense up everytime. I don't know why I'm nervous, maybe because I'm terrified of him. What if he finds out? What if my plan fails? What will happen to my freedom?

We stayed that way for a long time. That long time is pure torture...

"Reivenn your drunk." I gently told him. I felt his body went rigid. He pulled away and looked at me with shock. I disregarded his reaction and spoke,  "You should shower now and rest." I urged.

"What did you call me?"

"Reivenn." I repeated and he just looked at me dumbly with wide eyes. "You're drunk. Come on... You have to rest." I held his hand and tried to escape but he pinned both my hands to the sink. Batman please save me.

"I'm not drunk. But alcohol gives me courage to say what I wanted to say." he looked at me straight in the eyes and I had the urge to look away. The courage to say what he wanted to say? So he really thinks I'm beautiful? I thought had no effect on him. So it turns out he also look at me sometimes.

He sighed and then he pulled me upstairs. "Wait for me." he said and entered the bathroom. It's approaching midnight. I sat at the edge of the bed. Good thing I changed into pajamas a while ago. I'm too tired but it's a good distraction. I keep pacing here and there.

Your so beautiful

Your so beautiful

Your so beautiful.

You already know that Alina! Why is it such a big deal now? She suddenly remembered their proximity a while ago.

Face me... wife.

Face me... wife.

...wife.

Argh! Keep silent! I ordered my brain. I tried to think of other things. I remembered the first time we got too close.

[Flashback to weeks ago]

As I slowly opened my eyes, I am startled when his brown eyes met mine. He is also lying down and he is facing me. I was startled and back away. I saw his eyes darken because of what I did.

"Are you afraid of me?" I hesitated fo a moment but nodded my head honestly.

"Good. You should." he said and hashly yanked my waist.

Suddenly, he was on top of me. My heartbeat frenzied. Not because I'm excited but because I'm scared. He doesn't look gentle and I averted my gaze. He's really serious. Are we doing it? Will he take my purity now? Thinking of giving myself to this stranger is too much for me. I'm nervous and scared. If I hadn't woke up, will he still do this?

"Look at me." he commanded. "I... want to-" he stopped and breathed heavily. I never noticed him to looked so good. So good yet I wasn't overstating it at all. His face was exquisite, none of actors I met could compare. "I wanna kiss you." he whispered. I suddenly become more scared. Then he leaned on to kiss me. I shivered.

When his mouth enveloped mine, my pulse accelerated and all I could hear was my heartbeat. Just a peck but I'm nervous as hell. His hands on my ways slowly made his way to cup my face, which is slightly trembling. Good god help me...

The moment he cupped my face, my heartbeat intensified more. He pressed his lips on me harder and I shivered again. I held my breath not knowing what to feel. I've kissed actors in my job but this feeling is completely different... Maybe I'm more scared of what he'd do next.

[I thought he'd stopped there but he kissed me again. The second one's too much]

"I hate you." I said, almost a whisper. He looked at me in daze, probably because it was the first time I spoke to him. Yet I openly declared my hate. "I know." he gently answered which surprised me.

He kissed me in a whim and caressed my face gently. I didn't move. I am also shocked on my lack of reaction. I didn't picture him to be gentle, and once he did, I can't help but feel a little nervous, is he acting to get my trust? I eventually accepted my fate to lose my chastity tonight. Just close my eyes tightly and accept the truth. After all, were married and it's normal to have conjugal nights. He parted my teeth using his tongue and I timidly opened my mouth. Oh god. My heart was palpitating. Will he do it to me? I'm afraid. His tongue delved deeper in my mouth and the kiss turned sensual. His hands slipped inside my shirt and I shivered. His warm hands caressed my naked waist. He pulled away to get some air then he sucked my lower lip, I gasped wildly and breathed heavily.

After a while, he pulled away and kissed me on the forehead.

[End of flashback]

I only realised it now. He kissed me there. On the forehead. That kiss calmed me down. I really thought something's going to happen to us that night. I am so nervous at those moments. I don't want to give myself to him. I don't love him so why would I?

I was pulled from my trance when I heard the bathroom door opened. He said he isn't drunk but he reeks of alcohol. Why did he drink?

He came out wearing a dark colored pajama. I can't help but marvel at his visual. Okay I know I said it too many times but dear... He really is gorgeous. Especially when he's wearing pajama...

Whenever he wears pajama, no matter how dark or bland the color is? He look so good at it. Like really really good. Like a model of a pajama brand I'd say...

His visual is no joke, which is unusual for businessmen. Or I'm just stereotyping? Because when I thought of businessmen I always imagine those big, fat and old men. Maybe because that's common in my industry. Sponsors are always those old and fat tycoons. But Rei? He's on a different level. His looks are out of this world.

I started to wonder, why didn't he chose modeling instead? If Selena is right that he's too young to be a businessman, he could pass in modeling, he's even overqualified. His body is well toned. Well toned but not no too toned. I don't like those big and bulky guys who works out too much. Rei's body is well toned, moderate and enough. Enough to be a model. Why didn't he consider modeling? He could earn loads of money with that visual and body. I wonder if-

"What are you thinking?" I heard his voice then his face is so close to mine again. This time, he is squatting on front of me to level his face on mine. I immediately turned around out of panic, my face must be very red. Ugh, so embarassing...

"Nothing. Let's sleep." I lied down and tried to calm myself down. He's too close. Toooooo close... Tsk tsk. What is happening? Why is he suddenly being this way? Oh god.

He lied down beside me and since I'm lying at his side, I can see him clearly. I was used to sleeping without him beside me because I usually sleep alone when he is still working at the study room. He stared at the ceiling and I don't know if he feel my stares, I keep staring. After a while, he looked at me and met my gaze. "Goodnight Rei." I said and quickly turned away.

For the first time in weeks, I sleep with him by my side.