Chapter 6

*Warning: This chapter includes some graphic narrations*

Austin's pov

I quickly ran out of the taxi as I run towards the information desk to ask where my family was. After the nurse informed me, I ran to the elevator and pushed the button for the 3rd floor. Upon arriving, I quickly found mom and dad, who were sitting outside the room, grieving.

"Austin," mom called out. They both stood up and embraced me.

"W-Where-"

"She's gone," she said as slowly let go and sat down "I'm sorry, Austin."

"N-No," I said. Tears ran down my face as my knees weakened making me fall on the floor. I covered my face as more and more tears comes out. When dad helped me up, I started trembling and breathing heavily. He took out my inhaler and tries to calm me down. Suddenly, Kai came in front of me, panting and sweating.

"Kai," I cried. He pulled me up and wrap his arms around me. "Kai, she's gone. She's gone," I cried

"I'm here," he said. I leaned against his shoulder after we both sat down. He kept on brushing the side of my arms as he makes me a bit better. Out of nowhere, Jake came.

"Why are you here?" Kai glared. Suddenly, Jake gave him a peck on the lips. "H-Hey-"

"I'm sorry," he said

"Disrespectful creatures," I sniffed.

Kai turned to me and smiled as he kisses my forehead which made my insides a little bit lighter. "She may be gone but always remember, she loves you."

"But how did you know?" I asked out of curiousity "I haven't even texted you yet or did mom and dad told you?"

"Actually," he started "Ace told me. And I'm sorry to break it to you but it seemed as if he did not want to care,"

I started laughing fakely and said "It was all pretend anyway. He hates me, is what he said. Kai, don't make him do anything for me please?"

His eyes widen as he looked down and said "I'm sorry,"

"Why are you even apologizing? I mean he could've ignored it or even be against it."

Weeks after that day, I placed a bouquet of white roses on top of her casket as I leaned against Kai. I tried biting my lower lip to stop the urge of crying but horribly failed. After the burial, Kai stayed with me, trying to cheer me up.

"I'll sleep here for a while," he said as he puts on the pajamas he left here, in case he sleeps over. I lie down on bed, all tired, as he lies down beside me. Kai wrapped his arms around me while I wrapped mine around his waist. The next day, I didn't let Kai skipped school with me so I stayed in my room the whole day. For the whole 3 days, I couldn't stop the thought of Ace not coming to my house, and not bother visit me. What was I hoping for? I decided to go to school since I can't skip more days than this. Everyone has done every thing for me and I don't want to cause more trouble.

Usually, when I arrive in school I would always find Ace waiting at my locker while we hang out a bit and then go to rooms. But now, I found him on the other side of the hallway, being goofy with Johnny. But I gathered up my courage and walk towards him. When I was about to ask him something, he suddenly became quiet and only looked at me. He then turned his back at me and slowly walk away which made it more painful to bare.

Chest pain suddenly began as I tremble down and breathe heavily. I didn't bother to get my inhaler, it's not because I don't want to but because I can't. It seemed that I was drained all of a sudden.

The last thing I heard was Ace's voice "Shorty," it was slowly fading "Hang on Shorty," then all went black then I lost conciousness.

When I woke up, all I can see is a white ceiling and green curtains surrounding it. "Clinic, huh?" I groaned as I slowly sat up but a hand stop me. Its Ace's hand.

"You should rest more," he pats my head. Afterwards, it became awkward for us to talk but he managed to start the conversation."Hey, I'm sorry about what I told you and do to you that day. I was just carried away since my cousin was gonna stay over but it was cancelled. I'm really-"

"You know, you didn't have to bring me here." I said and slightly fidgeted "You could've let Kai or someone else do it,"

"No, Austin, I-"

"Are you perhaps pretending to care again?" I asked "If you are, feel free to leave. I'll talk to Kai and I can't promise you that we'll never see each other since we're in the same school. But, I can promise you that this will be our last conversation." I gulped as I try to stop the urg of crying. But suddenly, Ace pulled me and wrapped his arms around me. I bit my lip while I burst into tears.

"You think I'll let that happen?" he asked as he hugged me tighter "I know I was wrong for taking it out on you. Maybe it was my plan to pretend but I can't. In every little thing that you do, I started to worry but I don't know why!"

I slightly pushed him and looked up. To my surprise, he's crying. I made Ace Hunter cry. Without thinking, I reached for his face and caress his cheeks. Then he slowly leaned down as our faces were only inches away. He wiped my tears with his hand while I, on the other hand, am hoping for something. I couldn't wait any longer so I pulled him as ours lips met. My eyes widen as I felt his tongue making an entrance. I slightly moaned as he started touching my body.

I slowly pushed him away as I moaned his name "A-Ace," I panted for a while and said "There's something I need to tell you,"

"What?"

I started to get nervous but I gulped and admitted "I... Like you," I bowed my head down and close my eyes. I know he's going to be mad or even ignore me after this. But then..

"It's about time you tell me," he laughed "You think I didn't know?"

"Huh?"

"I noticed everything, Austin." he said and pushed me down. His hand pinned my arms up while the other wanders on my waist. His hands were warm that my body started burning. "You won't mind me destroying you, right?" he whispers and licks my ear.

I trembled as soon as I heard his whispering voice. He leaned down and our lips met once again. I slightly push him and said "C-Can you destroy me tomorrow?" I asked in embarrassment.

He smirked and said "Sure," he squeezed my cock which made me moan a bit. He unpinned my arms and suddenly carried me by the armpit then placing me on his lap, facing him. "Make out?" he asked

I didn't know what to do so I just nodded.

The next day after school, he quickly rode his car. On the way to his house, I can't help but feel nervous. I know I've been here before but this time it's different. We'll have sex. Just by that thought, I can't help but blush. I looked out the window, trying to clear up my mind. But it's too late, we're here in front of his garage. I gulped as soon as he parked in. I didn't move an inch when he turned off the car or even when he got out the car. Even when he opened the car for me.

"Scared that much?" he chuckled as he offered his hand. After making me get out of the car and closing it's door, he pulled me and quickly ran up to his room. After locking the door, he pushed me to bed as he takes off his shirt.

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I woke up, all naked while Ace's arms are around me. I smiled and touch his cheek, caressing it. To be honest, I want to wake up like this every morning. He suddenly grabbed my hand that was touching his cheek and smiled. "Good morning,"

"Good morning," I smiled. He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. "Wanna take a bath together?" I asked, out of nowhere. After realizing it, my eyes widen and covered my face. "Please, f-forget about that." I rolled to the other side and tried standing up but my knees tremble, making me fall down. Ace laughed at me but quickly stand and helped me up.

"I'll help you,"

For 3 weeks since that day happeed, we kind of scheduled it to 4 times a week. It's crazy, I know. It feels like he's taking advantage of my feelings for him. But do I mind? Rather than thinking that this will only hurt me in the end, if this is the only way for us to be closer, then I won't bother complaining about anything.

Saturday came and Ace told me to wait in the cafe because there's someone he wants me to meet. I was nervous since our so-called schedule is tuesday to saturday. So I came earlier than expected. I was thinking maybe we'll go to a date or something, like a double-date. I look around the cafe to check if Ace already arrived and he did. But with a girl. I was confused at first, I thought its his childhood friend or someone that he wants his group to date. Then they both waved at me, so I just wave along. When they both reach the table where I was sitting, I straightened my back as they both sat in front of me.

"Ahh Shorty, this is Louraine Jess Kole. She's my girlfriend," he started and then looked at her with a smile. He never looked at me like that. He would smile at me but not this happy.

"Nice to meet you uhmm?" she asked and takes out her hand for a shakes

"Austin," I awkwardly smiled and shake hands with her. "Nice to meet you too Louraine. Maybe I'm disturbing you two for your date today. Ace really wanted to introduce you. I should go now," I said as I stand up from the table and was about to go but then Ace grab my hand, making me stop.

"Wait Shorty, we haven't eat anything yet." Ace pouts

"I'm sorry I-I need to go. Got some things to do," shit my voice just cracked. As he finally let go, I look back and smiled "I-it was nice meeting you Louraine,"

"You too,"

I quickly rush to the door but then I stopped when I heard Ace talking about something about a motel. I looked down as I open the cafe door and slowly walk to the park to get some fresh air. For some reason, I can't cry. Since it's still early, why don't I call Kai? Nahh maybe they are having a date. I can't bother anyone today, huh? I decided to walk home and just enjoy some breeze.

Monday morning came, I'm walking down the hallways looking lifeless. I didn't sleep well last weekend because of Ace I actually don't want to go to school today because I don't want to see him but suddenly, walk up to me and keeps telling me how great his girlfriend is and how great she is in bed. Now tell me, where is the Ace who can't have sex with other girls? Since I'm too tired for some shit like this, I asked him "Uhm can I take a break from listening?"

"Sure, do whatever you like."

I slowly go to the vendo machine and push the button for citrus cucumber juice. After its done, I slowly drink it. When I turn around, he was already gone. I guess we won't be having lunch together again. Does he really think of my feelings? I bet he doesn't take my feelings seriously.

After class, I decided to walk down the street and stopped when I heard some noise beside the tea shop. I hate my curiousity so much that I decided to check it out. It was a bit narrow space in between buildings. At the corner, my eyes landed in the couple who were having sex. I knew who it was at first glance.

"Ace?" I called out "Is that you?"

The both of them stop and look at me with wide eyes. Louraine quickly get her uniform as well as Ace. I felt a sting inside my heart as I try not to make it obvious.

"Gosh, get a room you guys." I fakely laugh "There are lots of places to have sex with and you guys picked a narrow space? Seriously?"

"Hahah yeah," they both said awkwardly. They both put on their clothes but what hurt me the most is that Ace is when he kissed her forehead and hold her hand. He looked at her with such lovely eyes and why can't he look at me like that? I was about to say something but chose not to. I can't hold back my tears and when it started falling down, I quickly left the place and run until I reach my house. When I reach the entrance, I can't help to cry even louder.

"Austin! What happened?!" When I turn around, Johnny is looking at me worried.

"Johnny! Wha-what a-are you doing here?" I sniffed and wipe away my tears.

"Calm down, calm down. Wait, give me the key." I slowly handed it to him as I space out a bit. He then carried me to the living room and get me some water.

"Thank you Johnny," I put the glass down and wrap my arms around him.

"Any time. Just please tell me what happened," he hugs back. I let go and explain it to him about Ace, how I like Ace and stuff then he hugs me again. Then suddenly Ace barge in and pull Johnny away from me as he suddenly punches him.

"JOHNNY!!" I shouted as my eyes widen and kneel down beside him.

"What are you doing?" Ace asks Johnny and glared at him.

"I'm just cheering up Austin then you suddenly punch me!" He cries

"Oh I'm sorry," Ace offered his hand to help him stand and hug him "Go home now, Ross must be worried about you."

"Okay. Austinn, cheer up." he sniffed and walk out of the house, leaving me with Ace. I stood up and sat on the couch, not saying anything. Ace sat beside me and started poking me.

"Hey," he smiles

"I thought you were having sex with her?"

"Now, that's just straightforward," he laughs awkwardly

"Then I thought you were having a sexual intercourse with her which makes that yours go in with hers and the sperm cells will have a race-"

"Okay! Okay! I get it. Its just that I saw you cry,"

"It was nothing. Something just got into my eyes that made me look like I'm crying ," my tears suddenly fall down just by remembering that Saturday noon and a while ago but I stopped when he said "We.... Broke up,"

I'm really happy and confused at the same time.

"What?" I ask in confusion

"Well, that was our last time having sex. She is uhm flying over to London? She'll be living there." He smiles weakly "We've been dating for a week only and I'm her first and I'm somehow proud of that,"

Shit. He's in love with her. Its hurts more than usual. My heart just broke in to pieces.

"You're in love with her?" I asked without managingto stutter.

"I guess you can say that," he chuckled

"Oh," I looked down "uhm my heart is uh I mean.. My head hurts, I'm sorry but can you go home now please? I don't want to talk too much today,"

"Yeah, sure. Rest well," he smiled as I guide him out the door.

I walk upstairs to my room and closed it. He knows I like him right? Does he also knows how much I love him? He knows everything right? But he's in love with her, so there's no chance for us? Suddenly, my phone started ringing. I took it out of my pocket and see whose texting me.

From: Kai

Yo! I'm going there in 5 minutes okay?? I brought your fave food and I'm bringing Jake with me!! See you.

From: Me

See you if I can still see you. Bye.

I just can't take the pain anymore, its been too much for me nowadays. So I go downstairs and walk to the kitchen to get a medium sized knife. My hands are shaking but I guess its for the best? What's the point of living if I don't have a chance right? If I keep having thoughts like this, it's better to end it. I can't even hate one bit of him. So I slice my wrist, surely it ease the pain but the blood is too many. Then suddenly the main door open.

"Austin, we're here!!" Kai shouted "Where are you?"

"Kitchen," I said even though I'm starting to feel dizzy.

"Oh, oka---y..." Then he lost the grip of the plastic bag " Austin!!" They both shoutedas they run towards me.

"Go-odbye," I wave and smile then I suddenly collapse and lost conciousness.

Ace's pov

I wonder what's the matter with Shorty? He seem so sad when I talk to him awhile ago. While walking home, I recieve a call from Kai.

Me: Yo Kai, what's up?

Kai: A-ace... Au-Austin h-he kn-knife and his wri-ist-

Me: Calm down Kai! What happened to Austin?

Kai: He slice off his wrist a-and he collapsed and-

Me: Where are you now?!

Kai: Hospital

I quickly hang up the phone and get a taxi cab. I hurriedly go inside the taxi cab and told him to go to the hospital. When I finally arrived in the hospital, I rush inside and found Kai crying while Jake is comforting him.

"Kai! Jake!!" I ran and sat beside the both of them " What happened? Where's Austin?"

"We should ask you that!" Kai glared at me.

"What?"

"You know how much he likes you right?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you mean 'yeah?' ?" he asked "Is that even an answer or a question?

"I kinda forgot all about that,"

"What?! Fuck shit... You even made him your sex friend,"

"How did you know about that?"

"Johnny. He told us everything. Austin has been upset with it you know? What did you told him this time?"

"Do you remember the girl I was talking about? You know Louraine?"

"Yeah what about her?"

Then I explain to Kai and Jake everything. And guess what? Yeah, I get scolded by these two again.

"Ugh! I don't know what to do with you anymore," Kai cried and fell down from his chair "Why the hell are you so insensitive?"

"Kai," Jake carried Kai back to his seat

"I-I almost lose him once, I don't want to repeat that feeling again." he said "When we 8 or 9 years old, we had a school field trip. Then one time, a classmate of mine lost his teddy bear. Everyone was shocked when Austin volunteered to go find it, the teacher was about to say that he was not allowed but he already left. Then the teachers went to find him and left us in the bus with the bus driver for awhile." He cries " I couldn't take it anymore so I secretly ran out of the bus to find him myself. I called out his name for many times but no response. Then I found a steep side of the forest, when I peak from down below... There he was, lying on the ground, he was unconcious with the teddy bear on his hands. So I called the teachers,"

"Then what happened?"

"It was a good thing that we save him in time, I was in panic." He smiles weakly but there is still tears on his eyes. Jake wrapped his arms around Kai as he kept weeping. Then the doctor came with a very satisfactory expression on his face.

" Its a good thing that you bought him in time. He was almost in a crucial stage, actually he was about to die but the good thing is that he is strong. He might wake up in after 3-4 weeks due to many loss of blood. I suggest you boys to stay home for a while, we will take care of him, he is in room 217."

"Thanks doc,"

"Doc, can I stay tonight? Please doc,"

"Sure, I'll request the nurse to give you some futon and blanket. The nurses will arrange it for you okay?"

"Thanks doc," Then I turn around to Kai and found him having a relieve expression.

"You guys... Will stay here too?" I asked

"No, maybe we'll rest in his house." Jake said while pointing Kai

"Austin's parents will come in a while so let's wai-"

"Kai!!!" When we turn around, Shorty's parents came running "What happened?"

Then the three of them talk about Austin. I should apologize, this wouldn't happen if it wasn't because of me. Then when they were done, I walk towards them and said "I'm really sorry Mr and Mrs Scot. Its all my fault!" I kneel down with both knees and keep my head down a bit.

"Ace stand up. Its not your fault okay?" His father said while they both help stand up

"Look Ace, its not your fault okay? Actually he had several attempts of doing it," his mother said "It's been hard for him and he won't tell us anything,"

Hold on... He had several attempts??

"What? How? When?"

"For the last two years, we guess. Sometimes he would cry at night. Last time we heard him crying screaming your name but when tomorrow comes, he would forget about it."

Screaming my name?? So he liked me for a long time without realizing it? Why would he like me? I mean there are many guys out there right? But my is heart beating really really fast when I think about him?

What is this feeling??