XV

The day had passed very slowly. She'd never given him a look all morning, she spent her time reading in her room, with only Bernadette.

Adrien walked the streets of the city with Bruno to go shopping for the hiding place. That night, they would have stayed to check the women, but this afternoon they left Clovis, Edgar and Gerard.

He had to ask him what they talked about. He knew why the princess was so distant from him. What did he tell her? He made it worse.

<< What did you talk about? >> he said pretending nonchalance while he was chosing fruits.

<< Leave her alone, Adrien. You can't play with her like you did with Coline. >>

<< I'm not playing with anyone. >> He said resentful.

<< She wasn't with us even one day and already asked me how many girls you slept with. >> He looked at him under the skin.

<< What did you tell her? >> He was sweating cold.

<< The truth, Adrien. You can't make her fall in love with you. She'll have to go back to her house, your heart belongs to another woman, she has to get married, and you're having enough fun. >> He said serious and whispering.

<< Oh Bruno... >> He complained.

He knew he did it in good faith, but he just ruined things.

How would he fix that trouble now?

<< I'm serious, not her. >> he looked at him strictly before he went away to look for the last things.

If only he knew, if only he had any idea what he had really done. He told his beloved princess that he had other women, she had never had anyone except him, who she had entrusted soul and body. How would he get out of this trouble?

They got on their horses to return to the shelter.

<< And then Bernadette told me that she seems very much taken by Prince Luka, she says he deserves her, he's very sweet and kind with her. >> Bruno said starting to go faster.

<< You Talk a lot with Bernadette. >> Adrien noted.

It just looked like he had a stab wound in the middle of his chest.

<< I like spending time with her. >> He said smiling and turning his back on.

For the rest of the time, they remained silent.

Adrien was thinking about the friend's words and what the lady in the Royal Company told him. Was she really taken by the prince? How could she say that? Did she tell her or were the conclusions of a person who was mocked by a good play?

They came and he was always more convinced that he should talk to her. The more he left her alone to her thoughts, the more he could not make it up to her. He wonder how much she'd blown it up.

He saw her sitting on the ground, her back on the trunk of the crying willow. He was going to get her, but he felt a hand blocking him.

<< What are you doing? >>

That was Bruno.

<< Look, you're right, I want to talk to her and tell her exactly what is happening.>> He reassured him before he took his hand off his shoulder and walked back to Antoinette.

She had a book in her hand, but more than reading it seemed like she was just looking at it. She had eyes elsewhere.

<< Princess... >>

She didn't give him time to continue to flourish and forcefully closed the book. When she looked at him, he was banned by that look. It was cold and hard. The sky was ice again.

<< What do you want now? >> Even the tone of her voice was more grumpy.

She seemed so impatient..

<< I can explain everything. >> He kneeled so he could look better in her face.

<< I don't want your explanations, nor do you even apologize. Admit you made fun of another woman and leave. And don't you dare treating me like this anymore. >> She got up fast and lost his balance.

She was really furious as she struggled to drag her dress skirt into the tall grass.

<< Don't be angry, please. Everything I said is real! I never played on you! >> he chased her to grab her wrist but she retracted it immediately.

<< Don't touch me! >> She yelled at him.

She wasn't angry, she was disappointed and bitter. Maybe worse.

He looked at her and didn't know what to do.

How to apologize to a woman in love? Is it really possible to make it up?

<< I know what you are now. It took me a little bit to figure it out, but it took me less to trust you. Or maybe you were too good. >> She seemed to spit poison.

<< What kind of person am I? >> He asked crossing his arms to the chest.

<< It's funny for you, pretending your lies don't have any repercussions on people and on you, you sleep with them and then you walk away like it's nothing, like it's none of your business. You're going to do that also to me? You're going to leave as soon as you realize there's nothing left to catch? >> She tried to look elsewhere to give herself time to paint tears.

<< You're not like the others. >> He tried to get closer.

<< No, it's true. I'm leaving this charade first. I won't cry for you. I'm not going to help you increase your ego. >> She Stepped back.

<< What are you talking about? Antoinette, it's true, I've been with many women, even in the last few days, but I've never deceived any of them, and for sure I'm not going to deceive you! You have to believe me. >>

<< But don't you see? How can you make love statements to one woman and after two hours sleep with another? I feel terribly mocked. >> she turned back on him.

<< You talk about love, but you don't even know what it is. Did you ever stop to wonder if the heart of those two were really beating about having your hands that... God, I can't think about it! You have... >>

He, with his hand had touched her, too, so softly. How could he?

<< What do you know, princess? Do you really know what love is? >>

<< I know it shouldn't be shared by more people. It's a secret thing between two lovers.>> she turned towards him again.

<< You've always had everything in your life, haven't you? You never had to share anything with anyone. You don't know what that means. >> he Bitter smiled.

<< What does that mean? That I should learn to share you? >> She was shocked.

<< No. Because I just want you! I don't care about the others! And when I talk about sharing, I also talk about mutual trust and burdens to be divided and accepted. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect man, not being the prince of your dreams, but... >>

He suddenly stucked. Now he understood. Or so he thought.

<< You've decided, haven't you? Prince Luka would always be your way. Isn't that right? You accuse me of leaving you as soon as I'm tired of you, but you're the one who's already waiting for you, hoping it's the same as me. >>

Antoinette looked down.

<< What else can I do? And then I was honest with you from the begining! You knew I was supposed to get married! You're the one who kept your... your arem from me and made me think I'm the only one! >>

Adrien calmed down. He was doing it all wrong.

How could he possibly think he'd win by pushing her away even more with stupid charges? And then he wanted to win? It wouldn't have been a victory if he'd lost her.

His heart was bleeding enough to see her face shaken and her eyes shiny.

She wasn't a love-worthy, he had only felt it once and it went sideways. This was their chance and they couldn't send her away.

He couldn't lose his the market lady, not now that he had her and touched her, not now that he read a real feeling in her eyes, even if hidden by bitterness.

She was his. He was hers.

<< I swear you are the only one living in my soul. My heart is only yours and only yours will be my body and my attention. I promised you last night. I belong to you, you can do with me whatever you want, I will never rebel. You can love me or hate me, it doesn't matter. You can hurt me or kiss me enough to take my breath, whatever you do, I'll accept it happily. I'm at your command. Order me to kill myself, too, I will. >> As he talked about getting slowly closer to her, with fear that she might escape from him again.

But she didn't even come back when he stroked her cheek and looked for her blue eyes.

<< Just don't ask me to be without you, don't force me to stay away from you and give up this love because I can't. >> He put his forehead on her and closed his eyes.

<< Forgive me. >> He whispered again.

She remained still and silent. Then she closed her eyes and sighed.

<< I don't know... I don't know... when I was thinking about you, all those nights, you spent time with other women. >> She put a hand on his on her cheek. << Two fridays, rather three, and the following days I was though about you, Adrien, which bed were you in? >> She slowly moved away from the young who opened his eyes to the loss of that contact.

He saw her walk away to get back in the house.

He didn't want to lose her like that.