CHAPTER 264: Your Light!!

If what she had concluded was right, then emotions are the things that will obstruct the light ability.

She was showing them, the real ones but was she showing the real her?

"I showed emotions and let go of them but then... after hearing from you that I broke down... I think that must be the real me. The one hidden behind all the facade of responsibility and leadership. The weak one hiding behind the mask of strength."

Everyone blinked hearing this words from her.

Indeed, Saphira barely showed any weakness.

Even when they lost Hydra Kingdom.

Even when she showed her worry.

She stood strong, stood on her ground but she didn't show the weakness a person would have.

Not until the moment she broke down and everything came out.

Saphira thought even deeper, "Have I really faced all of you properly with the way you had spoken about me?"

As she was listening to his story, she didn't try to think deeply but instead she carefully tried to understand the emotions going on within her.

Because when he started his story, she felt like something inside her was trying to reach out.

Trying to push her to speak honestly.

And then a thought came to her, 'Could it be that it wasn't only because I was tired but because of my stubborn nature that I wanted to find a way to convey what I truly feel?'

"I don't know if the me with memories would agree with this but maybe..."

Her hands that are holding Hunter's hand tightened their grip, "Maybe after breaking down I am also asking for help? Asking someone to reach out and pull me and tell me everything will be fine. I don't have to act so strong, I can show weakness?"

Everything was a question but every single word she spoke made them think that it made sense.

Just like when Lily came out and told them about the psychological barrier the last words she heard back then, had placed on her.

Everything made sense now.

All along, Saphira was feeling lonely.

That even though they are around her, she really couldn't reach out to them.

What placed more burden on her was the fact that people actually asked for more.

More things that they think she is obligated to let go.

Hunter couldn't help but laugh in defeat.

What closest?

What understanding her the most?

In the end, wasn't he the same as the rest?

They didn't realize what was going on within Saphira for all this time, relying entirely on the emotions she was showing in her face, in her voice, in her actions.

But then what about deeply inside her?

"We were naive," he spoke after a while.

"In the end, I think this lost memories was also her decision. Since she was a stubborn fool, she tried to find a way where she would be able to actually express herself."

The others remained silent all through out this conversation, but they have the same sentiment as him.

They were indeed naive.

From the get go, they never really tried to understand her.

What apology?

What repentance?

Everything was just words, everything was just action.

But what about inside?

Did they really looked at her and understood her from the bottom of their hearts?

Without looking for the answer, it was already right there on their minds.

No.

Despite the reunion, Saphira was still alone.

Fighting everything on her own.

Seeing their defeated looks, the guilt and feeling of being ignorant about the person they cherish.

"I'm sorry."

They all looked up to her.

Her voice resounded even more within their hearts.

"Why... are you apologizing?" Willow slowly asked.

"I don't know, seeing all the pained looks you have. It feels like it was right for me to apologize."

They blinked and their eyes turned red.

Saphira must have known that by speaking the truth of the matter, she would inevitably hurt them.

Because their thoughts about her were shattered just like that.

Slowly she returned her look at Hunter.

"Admittedly upon waking up I did feel suffocated looking at you."

Hunter's heart throbbed.

"But at the same time I was happy to see you first."

He looked at her.

"Just like what you had said, I was jealous and hurt. But I can feel it, I am not mad or angry towards you..."

Then she smiled, she didn't continue to speak of the whisper within her heart.

'I must have really just wanted to be with you."

She has no memories and has no idea why she herself had decided this kind of outcome, that is why she won't speak of it.

Not until she remembers or she found the answer to the reason why she ended up like this.

Saphira smiled, "I can tell you are all precious to me because even without my memories, I feel comforted by all of you and the worry you all are showing me."

"Geez..."

Stormie run up to her and hugged her tightly.

"When you remember, please stop being stubborn, please speak to us honestly just like the way you did now."

Stunned but not feeling awkward, Saphira agreed.

She felt light in her heart but still she knew there is more to this.

To why she had chosen to forget.

She didn't know when she'll find out but she knew she will.

And somehow she has this full trust to her real self that this was something she needed.

*****

"Your light!!"

Vermilion Bird listened to Saphira from within her and felt that this must be what she wanted all along.

Then suddenly he found the light surrounding Lily glowing brighter.

Lily looked at herself and was stunned as well.

"It seems she realized that it was still lacking, that after breaking that barrier apart, there is more that she can do," Lily commented with a laugh of defeat.

"She knew herself very well and knew she wouldn't be able to really speak about her with her own stubborness that she chose this path instead."

Both of them glanced at the cocoon of golden threads.

It floated there quietly.

"Her being tired must have been the truth but that wasn't her only reason. She really wasn't weak at all."

Lily thought Saphira wasn't strong enough and that she must have been mistaken in thinking that Saphira was better than her predecessor after hearing her speak how tired she was and that she wanted to forget.

Yet she was wrong, Saphira chose it for another purpose.

"She is indeed," Vermilion Bird nodded.