THE PAST

Marinette's POV

In order for you to understand my actions, you're going to have to find out everything that has happened, from the moment i was kidnapped until now.

Where i, and many others, grew up, it wasn't really the best place for a child to be. You probably already figured that by now… but I just need you to promise me, you're not going to judge me, my actions nor anyone that has gone through the same shit.

Ready? Okay.

When I was a child, my name wasn't Marinette…my name was Amethyst, which I later found out means gemstone. I changed my name when I came to Republic city.

Anyways…

I met Catra in the Fright Zone when we were both just babies. The Fright Zone being the capital of the Horde. She's a magicat, which means she's half cat, half human.

Catra was always faster than me, but I was always the better fighter. I remember the first time, I was ever beaten really badly. I was mostly ever beaten by Hordak, he wanted me to know that he was the only one to control me. That day I ended up with a scar on my arm. I still have it 'til this day.

When I came back to our rooms, Catra was there, she always was. Everytime I came back, she was there, and she always tried to keep my mind off of shit.

Two years into basically being tortured, at the time I was about five. Catra told me, we were getting new recruits that day and that we should go check them out. After sewing up one of my scars, we went to the training quarters.

And yes, if I had any open scars, I had to sew them up myself, except the larger one's.

When we got there we sat on a bench that was on the other side of the room. This wasn't the first time, when they brought new people in, so we already knew how this would go down. First the force captains would be introduced, then they'd tell them how things worked there and then they would walk them to their respective rooms.

But there was someone in that group of people, or rather kids, that just stood out to me the most. 'til this day I do not know why. We followed them when they were shown to their rooms. It was a girl, soon after that I found her name, Katniss.

They always kept the recruits separated from others, having to make sure they had their loyalty first. From tim to time I would watch her train, to be honest she was a goo fighter, but her shoulders needed a little practice.

The beatings continued and the more time passed the worse they got, which meant more scars. Soon, I barely felt any pain. That was when my training began. I was taught how to dodge, how to turn my opponents' attacks against them. I even started fighting other cadets, and always won.

One day, they brought the recruits in and we trained together. It became a routine after that.

I think it's time to tell you the reason behind these training sessions. Yes, it was because Hordak wanted to rule the world and shit, but also because… he wanted to wipe out each and every Xadian out there. That was before I knew I was one of them. And when you're taught something as a kid, it's harder to forget, basically.

When I was around 7, me and Catra were outside, doing kid's stuff. All of a sudden we were chasing one another, just playing around like kids do.

And then it happened… we were in the deserted part of the FZ, nobody really went there anymore, Catra threw a rock at me and because I saw it too late, I didn't have time to dodge it. I stopped in my tracks and put my hands in front of my face. I waited for it to hit me, but it never did. I was silent, Catra went quiet as well, as she was laughing just moments before. I slowly put my hands down and opened my eyes… there was a rock…just floating in front of my face, but the second I put my hands completely down, it fell on the floor. We both looked at it, shocked of course, and then at each other. All of a sudden, Catra was screaming, too. We ran out of that part of the FZ, back to our room.

When we got back, we both jumped on my bed and quickly covered our heads with a blanket.

»This place is haunted!« whispered Catra. I didn't say anything as I was still quite shocked.

We haven't talked about what happened, we didn't really have time. Because they called us for dinner. We were quiet the whole way to the dining room, through the whole dinner. We only spoke when Katniss came to sit with us.

We became friends after we started training together.

She asked us questions, which were mostly answered by Catra. And then she finally asked us what was wrong… I just remember looking up at Catra, to see that she was doing the same to me. We stared at each other for what felt like forever. And then I was the one to break the silence.

»I'll tell you later,« I knew it wasn't much, but I didn't really feel comfortable talking about that there. Catra quickly nodded as we continued eating in silence.

It was late when we went on the roof of our sleeping quarters, we would always go there at night.

»So what happened?« Katniss finally asked. Catra and I looked at each other, and I nodded, motioning for her to start.

»Katniss, this place is haunted!« she started.

»And probably by benders at that!« I quietly shouted after.

She just looked at us in disbelief.

We explained to her what happened and she still didn't believe us.

»How can you be sure? Did you see them?« she asked us.

That made us stop. As we were quite visibly panicking.

»Well, no..« muttered Catra.

»You guys are ridiculous,« said Katniss, laughing.

»But how can you explain the rock stopping mid air?!« I asked.

»Well, you probably just imagined everything,«

»That is a very weird thing to imagine,« I said still not buying shit she said.

»You know what Amethyst, I bet you're the bender!!« Katniss said as a joke.

»Wh- no I'm not! You take that back!« I told her, pointing a finger at her, visibly insulted.

»I still don't get it why you think benders are such bad people,« said the girl in front of me with a roll of her eyes.

»Benders are freaks,« said Catra, trying to explain that to her.

»How do you know that, you've never met one!«

»How do you know they're not?!« asked Catra.

»Because I HAVE!« said Katniss almost shouting.

We both stared at her in shock.

»My mother was a bender…« she continued.

»Are you…?« I slowly managed to ask.

»No,«

A part of me was kind of relieved, the other part was still shocked.

Katniss looked around, not wanting to meet our eyes.

»Do you want to hear a story?« it wasn't rare for her to change the subject all of a sudden, so we both just obliged. Katniss went to sit down, so we followed her.

»My mother was the only bender I've ever met. She's a waterbender, which means she can control water. I remember when I was little I'd watch her bend, it was so beautiful. I remember her telling me about the avatar.« she whispered that last part.

»W- What's an avatar?« quietly asked Catra, sounding almost scared.

Katniss only smiled softly, before explaining, »The avatar is someone who can bend all four elements; earth, fire and water and…air… to be an avatar is a great honor. The avatar's job is to make sure everybody is okay and, and safe.«

»Do you know who this avatar is?" I asked, barely soundable.

»No, they haven't found them yet, the last one, avatar Korra, was so awesome, she's my favourite!«

»What happened to her?« somehow I managed to speak again.

»She passed on, after an accident.«

I could feel Catra's eyes on me for a few seconds, I didn't know why, but I just had this strange feeling, like someone was coming towards us.

Looking around, paranoid, »We should go,« I said, while getting up. I could feel them doing the same, but it didn't make sense as I wasn't looking at them, didn't hear them nor was I right there next to them, I could just feel it in the ground. I turned around just to make sure I wasn't losing it… I wasn't.

We all went back to our respective quarters. Catra and I shared a room, so we both just slept on my bed that night. But before I could enter it, Katniss stopped me, Catra was already inside, at that point.

»Hey Amethyst, can I talk with you?« I nodded, »I know it may sound stupid and weird, but I-I just have to- to talk to you about it.«

»Yeah, Katniss, what is it?« at this point I was getting concerned.

She looked around nervously, before finally speaking, »I-I think y- you're, you might be a- a bender…« she whispered.

»W-What?! What are you talking about Katniss?!! You're right Katniss, that is stupid, a- and weird and I'm not! How can you even think that?! What you're saying right now, is completely ridiculous!!« I immediately became defensive.

»Shh sh please stop yelling, will you?!« she tried keeping me quiet.

»Katniss, you don't know what you're talking about!« i whispered back at her.

»You're right, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.«

»Next time think before you say anything,« I said before going to my room.

»Are you okay?« asked Catra when I got inside.

»Yeah,« I gave her a small smile.

»You know maybe Katniss is right,« my face went pale as I heard her say that, »Maybe we were really just imagining it.« she added before lightly punching me in the arm.

After that we quickly, yet quietly got ready for bed.

That night I couldn't sleep. My mind kept racing because of what Katniss said. I was convinced I wasn't one of those 'freaks'. I was rolling in bed so much, that I was surprised Catra didn't wake up, as she always slept at the end of my bed, for some reason, but it's not like I minded.

Somehow I managed to finally fall asleep.

Few hours later, I was woken up by someone, calling my name, at least I thought I did. When I opened my eyes it was still dark and Catra was still sound asleep at the foot of my bed. I sat up and after a few minutes, when I was a bit more awake, I started thinking about what made me wake up in the first place. And I realized…nobody said my name, it was something else. It sounded like someone said…Marinette? At first I wasn't entirely sure. At the time I didn't know a Marinette… I even considered waking up Catra and telling her what happened, but in the end, I didn't have the heart to do it, she needed the sleep. And then I considered going to Katniss's room. In the end I just decided to go back to sleep. It didn't matter, I was probably just imagining shit.

A few months passed and nothing unusual happened again, so I just went on with my life.

And then…I was called in for training. It wasn't on my schedule, so of course I was confused, but just figured they wanted me to get some extra practise in. When I arrived at the arena, where my training usually took place, I saw Katniss there. I was even more confused and so was she.

They escorted us inside… there, they told… that we had to fight.

But this time… to the death.

Back then I have never even considered taking someone's life and neither did Katniss. I tried resisting, I tried to argue with them, but they wouldn't listen.

So we did…we fought.

Katniss knew I was a better fighter, we both knew that. And I'm not being a brat by saying that. It was basically a fact. Hordak wanted me to be the best, so they worked more with me than they did with others.

And we fought and fought… I tried to resist, but the 'fighter' in me came out and I want to say I tried to stop, but…

I want to warn you about this next part… It's pretty shitty i guess…

I managed to knock her to the ground, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't just kill her.

She was my friend for fuck's sake!!

They screamed at me to do it, but all I did was look in her eyes, I could see tears forming in her eyes. I was holding a knife against her neck, it stayed there for a few seconds until I slowly took it down.

And then I heard it. A gunshot…

I looked at Katniss, she…she had a wound in her… in her shoulder, right next to her heart.

My whole world, just stopped, everything just…disappeared, I could see the light in her eyes slowly leave this fucked up world. I dropped the knife and ran up to her as she went down. I caught her and we fell on the ground.. I held her in my arms as her heartbeat was slowing down. I clutched her small body against mine and just sat there… i basically prayed to wake up from this fucking nightmare.

All I could hear was her blood as it trickled on the floor. I looked down at her hand and I saw a small photograph, of a little kid. On the back it said a name. I didn't mind that, I just took it, I guess as a sick souvenier…

And then… I heard the sentence that changed me completely…

'You killed her, this is your fault. You killed Katniss.'

I closed my eyes, all I felt at that moment was rage, rage I had never experienced before. Her heart completely stopped… I snapped.

I got up, gently putting her down.

I slowly turned around and opened my eyes.

I don't really remember what happened after that, so I'm just gonna tell you what I was told.

So, apparently, when I opened my eyes, they were white, and I was going to attack those in the room with me. They also said I was… earthbending… after a while they finally managed to restrain me, and then I fainted.

I woke up some time later in my bed, Catra on my right side. She had a worried look on her face. I sat up.

»Amethyst…what happened?«

I was quiet,, because how do you tell your friend…you just killed someone. And that someone being…Katniss…

»I- I- Katniss, she- «

»Hey Amethyst, it's ok, just calm down, you know you can tell me anything,« i looked in her mismatched eyes.

»I killed Katniss.«

We didn't talk about it. She didn't ask any questions. We just went on with our lives..

But something changed in me that day… that was the first time I ever took someone's life…and I never stopped…