Nathan

(P.S this chapter was Nathan's POV that tells his struggles that lead him to kill himself)

tw: self-harm

"Hey, you!"

I was busy putting my things on my table back inside of my bag after the last subject finish. I heard someone shouted in front but I didn't rose my gaze to see who it was. I don't have a friend inside and outside of my school and that's okay. I'm getting used to it. Albeit if I wanted to have even just one though.

"He's not just a nerd, huh?"

"You're right! He's also deaf!"

I stop putting my things inside my bag after hearing what my classmates said. I pushed my eyeglasses in my nose bridge as I rose my gaze. And I was right, they are talking and looking at me.

"Hey, deaf!" The first voice I heard earlier talk again, causing me to roam my eyes around to see who it was and if he's calling me. As soon as my eyes went to the chubby guy he smirks at me. "Can we take off your eyeglasses?" He started to went closer to me.

I shook my head immediately. "I can't see if we will."

He reached for it and rose it away from me. My vision gets blurry. Just five seconds pass I started to feel a headache. I close my eyes as I try to make my vision clear albeit if it'll never gonna happen. I stood up and tried to reach it. But every try I make he make it higher. I close my eyes again as my headaches more. It feels like my head is going to break!

"Give me my eyeglasses!" I yelled, closing my eyes having difficulty easing the ache of my head.

"Did he just shouted at Roni?"

"Didn't he knows that no one shouted like to Roni before?"

"Didn't he knows that he should give respect to Roni? Roni comes from a wealthy family!"

"He doesn't know what could Roni do with just the way he raises his voice to him!"

What? Roni comes from a very wealthy family that's why I should give respect to him? Are they kidding me? He took my eyeglasses and my head was aching so bad because my vision gets blurry!

"Oh? You want me to give this to you?" He looks at me pitifully.

"Yes, please,"

But what he did next, surprise me. Instead of giving it back to me, he drops it on the floor. My lips parted while looking at him. I pick it up and felt relieved when the glasses didn't break, but it had scratches though.

"You raise your voice at me earlier, huh? We'll see." He smirks at me.

I never expected that the grocery store where Mom was working was owned by Roni's family. He went there and told my mom that I have two failing grades, which made mom hates me more.

"Come downstairs! You're such an ungrateful child! You didn't do anything in this family except bringing shame in this family! You're so dumb and idiot!"

She always shouted like that to me or this...

"How dare you have that thick face to waste electricity watching TV when all you do is fail us! All you do is dissapoint me! You're such a dumb! Unlike your sisters! Don't you ever dare watch TV again or else I'll crumple your face, dumbass-"

She just stops every time Sienna butts in. Sienna, my sister. She is always there for us. She is always there for me. She's even barely thinking about herself because she always cares about me! And I see that unhealthy for her. Whenever she saves me, I felt guilty because I haven't tried saving her at her tough time.

Every day in my life feels hard to bear. The place I used to call home doesn't feel like home anymore. The place called the school where I can learn and enjoy was too hard to learn from and enjoy either. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything hurts and too heavy to carry!

It's exhausting me!

I opened my window and saw the sky was filled with myriad stars. I went to Sienna's room and saw her lying in her bed closing her eyes. She must be tired of doing the household chores here every weekend. I took a deep breath and draw near to her. She immediately opened her eyes.

"Hey, li'l boy," She sits in her bed.

"Aren't you sleepy yet?"

She shook her head as an answer. I ask her to go with me outside our house to do star-gazing. I forgot to bring a chair for us to sit on so she went back inside to get one... for me. She didn't even think to get one for herself to sit to. She just sits on her slipper.

Why are you always thinking about the sake of others and not yourself? It's giving me heartache!

"Hmm... can I ask you a question?" I said while looking at the stars. "Do you think... there's a place here in the world where... you can't feel pain anymore? Or... just a place that will give you peace of mind... and protect you from the pain even just for one day?" It was hard for me to say it without pausing because my voice might break.

"I... I don't know." The pain in her voice was evident. "But... But you can tell me what to do so I can remove that pain you feel."

"No, you don't have to. I... am fine." I chuckled to hide the pain I have inside.

"I am sorry if you felt those pain at your early age, my love," she whispered and reached my hand. "Tell me if it is too much, okay? Tell me if it is so heavy already. Big sister will carry it for you." She stood up and kissed the top of my head.

"Let's go back inside now. I'm already sleepy." I said, causing her to let go of his hand.

I'm sorry, Sienna, but it's also hard for me to see you hurt.

But… don't worry.

This will be the last time that you're gonna watch these stars with me.

This will be the last time I'm gonna bother you.

I promise this'll never gonna happen again.

I promise.

I smiled bitterly and a tear fell from my eye.

I didn't make it to go to school today. Sienna started to worry about me again so I just told her that I am not feeling well. Albeit if the truth is… I'm doing my plan today. The plan I think of where it'll give me peace of mind and stop the pain I face every day.

I wiped my tears after writing the letter for Sienna. I hugged it tightly like it was her that I was hugging. I write next for Atticus, Mom, Dad, and Oli.

After I make my plan happened…

Everything went black.