19 ==> Just Survive Somehow

"Karkat? Is that you?"

The sudden presence of another almost made you jump out of your own skin as your eyes quickly darted to meet a familiar face. The face you saw at that shitty book club your moirail dragged you into attending, the face that you had practically smashed onto the ground an embarrassing mess, the face that has now changed into something only considered as less than the gentle smile she usually had. Though her maroon hood made it a bit difficult to see her expression fully, the evident frown stuck out only thanks to her bright red lips.

The cape around her flowed gracefully as her careful steps slowly approached you with a bow and arrow in hand, as if you were an injured beast in need of help. The grip on her bow loosened as she unarmed the arrow in hand and draped it across her chest and shoulder. The bow casing was leather, made of animal skin and had a few small bones dangling from it for decoration.

You tensed up in realization of the complete mess you probably look right about now, and obviously it was too late to cover up any attempt of not seeming pathetic. It was tiring, you were tired and couldn't care less than to wallow in self-pity like the wriggler you are. With the last shred of dignity you had left, you wiped the steady stream of red tears that stained your cheeks and avoided any eye contact with the other troll. "Please leave." Your voice was horribly raspy and wavered with a painful emotion.

There was silence for a moment before the sound of foot steps started crunching again. You knew for a fact she was walking towards you, but why? Taking a chance to look up for a second, you noticed she was now criss-crossed in front of you. Her ruby red irises stared at you with a soft, but unreadable expression. "What happened?" She finally spoke, her fingers drifting to droop the hood of her cape and exposing the frizzy mess of hair hiding underneath.

Silence was your answer of course. You definitely wasn't going to explain one of your breakdowns to a troll you barely even know, just for her to pity you in the end. Your moirail already takes the brink of that explosive mess.

'You don't tell her anything anyways...'

Ah, yes. Yet again, your consciousness succeeds in making you feel like complete shit. You probably should contact her soon, but then again the guilt of being a lier is catching up to your suffocating thoughts.

Right now though, there was a beauty sitting in front of you. She was concerned, you can see it in her pretty features on her grey skinned face. But why? Why care for sometroll she barely even knows?

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me. I can understand." Her velvety voice sent more tears into your eyes, as if she was the one mocking or prodding, but it was the complete opposite.

As silence beckoned between the two of you, though more relaxing than anything. She didn't force an answer out of you, she didn't keep asking questions, or even hoping that you would give an answer. No. This beauty, the one you were a mere peasant to, just sat there with you. Only the sounds of chirps were heard way above in the trees as the wind silently whipped on by. You could smell her from the close proximity, like a fresh rose in the summer breeze. It was almost intoxicatingly lovely, more so than what too much mind honey could do.

"When I was a wriggler, my father took me out into these woods and taught me to hunt." Aradia spoke through the silence as she lifted her head up to stare above. A small smile formed on her red lips, almost as if she was longing for the memory she was about to tell. "The first time was hard. Though I never actually missed with my bow, the killing of an actual live creature was quite difficult to comprehend in my small mind. I managed to shoot a chirp down from the sky, impressed my father was, but horrified I was when it was still alive." A hand came up and tucked some loose strands of her raven black hair behind her pointed ears. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill it even if it was suffering because of what I had done. The sounds it made terrified me."

After another pause, you made an attempt in eye contact with her as she glanced over to you. Your voice carried it's strength back as your emotions were slowly coming down from their height. "What... What did you do?"

"Nothing. It's what my father did." She replied, her thin fingers smoothed out the crumpled cloth of her long skirt. "After he had finished the job, he kneeled down on one knee and gave me a hug, saying, 'It always seems impossible until it's done.', then, he handed the bow back to me."

You sniffed, still feeling some drainage from your earlier cry. The story Aradia was telling seemed to not correlate to whatever this situation was, which made you a bit confused. The look of confusion plastered itself on your face and Aradia quickly took notice as she continued.

"To sum it all up, even though I was having a rough time with the concept of hunting, I still needed to learn how. It was to survive, and that's the most important thing about this harsh world." As she uncrossed her legs, she situated herself to stand up. One of her hands then reached down as if to offer it to me. "I don't know what happened to you, but it's going to be okay, because there's always another chance to prove yourself wrong. Just survive somehow."

'Don't trust her.'

The voices were whispering, nagging about this beautiful creature, but you don't want to believe them. She was like a bright light that walked into the miserable darkness surrounding you, making the world more clear to see.

'She is using you.'

Hesitantly, you took her hand and with little effort, she helped you up to your feet. You watched the face that you once thought was pity, but actually empathy in a strange way. Yes, she doesn't know what happened, but she was there for you. A total stranger to her in your eyes yet, she was kind enough to offer her company as support. "Thank you." You finally had the courage to say something back. Though it will never compare to what she did.

With the curves of her lips lifted into a smile, her faint blush was evident as well. As she held onto your hand, you couldn't help but to notice a slight tremble of her red smile. You swallowed some saliva in nervousness as the two of you basked in this moment. There was something there, flickering to life in your chest. It was burning, just only half as bright as the radiant goddess in front of you. As if she was feeling the same, her voice once again broke the silence on que. "Karkat... Can, can I say something?"

"Anything." You responded with no hesitation.

Your heart beat was ringing inside your ears, unable to control itself anymore. This troll had an effect on you that no other did and your thinkpan was slowly catching on to what your feelings were about. You didn't want to admit it, to drag yet another being into the mess you call quadrants, but you can't help it. It's natural. It's apart of your biology. You were flushed for this red blood.

As she took a step closer, the grip on your hand tightened only slightly. She proceeded to open her mouth to say something, but just then 'BANG', terrifying screams echoed through the air. Though not a pleasant sound, it was off in the distance and had caught both of your attention.

"That came from the community." Aradia said as she let go of your hand and started sprinting towards the sounds. You followed suit as a rising feeling of dread filled your senses. What if this is because of the monument? Did the ruffians find out somehow? Were they looking for you?

All of these questions were answered as you chased after Aradia into the small, fenced in ghetto. A mixed crowd was seen outside in the middle of the community, almost every low blood was there, including a few higher rankings as well. They all were watching something in the center.

'BANG'

A gunshot rang out again as some of the group gasped, screamed, and just stared with horrified expressions. Some even turned around to leave, but you spotted a heavily armed trollian solider that shoved them back into place. They were everywhere. The ruffians were here, a special guard force that only comes down from their castle of highbloods for serious consequences.

What the hell was going on?

You reached the crowd, out of breath as you gulped air into your deflated and burning lungs. With what strength you had, you pushed through the group of trolls and froze in place where you stood.

No.

'This is all because of you.'

This can't be happening. This was a dream, a nightmare.

'Say your prayers now.'

The voices were now laughing menacingly as you locked eyes with your best friend on his knees, with a gun trained to the back of his head.