Chapter Seven

Everything was going horribly wrong, Addison didn’t know how to be around Noah anymore, every time they were in the same place it was as if they were strangers walking on eggshells around each other, it was honestly exhausting.

Their connection that was once so electrical, creating a string tiding up both of their hearts pulling them closer and closer together had somehow come to a halt, the string was not a direct line from heart to heart anymore it was a tangled mess, and it was becoming harder to untangle it with every day that passes, in the end that string could bend and wind back and forth as many times as it liked but it would never break the just needed to find a way to untangle it and it wasn’t that they didn’t know how to fix that because they knew, it was just that Addison was scared, scared of what could happen, scared to lose Noah and go back to the same dark place she was in when Ellie died, she didn’t want to be hurt again so she started pushing everyone away.

Strangely enough to love is to hurt, two words that are supposed to be the antithesis of the other suddenly became one, because yes, love is painful and sometimes does hurt, but all that pain is worth it when you realize that without it you wouldn’t have that feeling of warmth and endearment, the feeling of being adored, of being that one thing that can bring happiness to someone when they are in the darkest of places, so yes love hurts but it brings one of the best feelings into your life and like everything else in our mortal world you have to be strong enough to take a chance.

Addison was not strong enough. At least that’s what she believed, but somewhere in another dimension there were people who knew she was stronger than what she deem herself to be, and this people wanted nothing more than to be right.

——

It was Monday morning when Noah decided that enough was enough, they couldn’t go on like this and he was determined to do something. He wanted to talk to her, no he needed to talk to her, the thing was that Addison wasn’t talking to him other than to say hello and goodbye so this was already proving to be harder than what he had realized.

So far he had come up with three ideas on how to approach the topic and all of them were completely useless, he was raking his mind for idas when it suddenly hit him, it was as if a switch was turned on, bright lights shining brighter than the sun and in the middle written in big, black, bold letters was the solution to all his problems, JELLO.

He was standing in front of Addisons room trying to figure out if he should knock or just walk right in—and for gods sake he had done this countless of times before it shouldn’t be as nerve raking as it was— but he was taken out of his thoughts by a voice, not just any voice Addison’s voice.

—You know I can see you standing there right?— she asked with a sarcastic undertone and of course she would do that because underneath all of the fog that was surrounding them, she was the same Addison he had come to love overtime, wait, love? What was his brain thinking he was not in love with her, sure he cared about her a lot almost as much as he did with his mum and sisters, but that did not mean he was in love with her right? Because he would surely know if he was in love with someone, he had feelings for her, strong ones but that did not mean he was in lo-

Well shit, he was in love with her, which was kind of a big realization, too had come to in this moment, and he was once again taken out of his thoughts by the same voice.

—Noah— he heard

—Right, sorry, I- I um brought jello, strawberry jello your favourite…— he said while extending his arm as if the jello was some kind of peace offering.

She took it, and they were now sitting face to face while an awkward silence surrounded them —so um, how was your day?— he asked.

— Noah, we were together no less than half an hour ago, so why are you here?— she asked, taking another spoon-full of jello into her mouth.

— I came here to talk— he said.

— We are already doing that— she answered, setting down the container.

— I… look we can’t keep going on like this— he said, putting the spoon down.

—Like what?— she asked trying to show no emotion at all.

—Addison come on! We spent all our time together, we had movie nights, we cuddled, we ate together, we had a connection, we still do!— he said, his tone going up a bit like it does when he was yelling, but not quite there yet.

— We are friends, that’s what friends do— she said, also getting a bit worked up.

— For gods sake Addison! we almost kissed!, multiple times might I add, and friends don’t do that!, so what the hell is going on with us!— Noah full on yelled, he was so tired of waking around in circles about this.

— There’s no us!!! — she yelled right back.

— So you are telling me nothing happened the other day at “prom”— he said while doing quotation marks— that nothing happened to make you run— he was about to go on when he was interrupted by a — I did not run—

— You did, you always do, whenever someone get’s too close you run and start pushing everyone away, but im not letting that happen this time, im not going to go away, so please what is going on?— he asked starring right into her eyes.

— I can’t— she said.

— you always say that, but I don’t know what “I can’t means”— he said, rubbing his temple.

— just… just go away Noah— she said her voice now much calmer than before.

— im not going away— he said taking a step forward.

—why?— she asked.

— because I care about you Addie— he answered

— you can’t— she said, and he wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t close to her.

— I don’t get it— he said

— you can’t say that, you can’t care about me not in that way— she said.

— you can’t control feelings Addie— he said, grabbing her hand, Addison was crying now so he wanted to confort her in some way and the was the only way he could now plus it had worked in the past.

— please just- just stop, please go away Noah— she asked while more tears rolled down her cheeks.

— okey— was all he could say right now, so he let go of her hand and started walking towards the door, he was just about to leave when he turned around and said — just so you know I care, I care a lot, I care about you Addie, so much more than you could imagine— and with that he walked out the door, without looking back.

As soon as Noah was out the door Addison broke down, she let herself feel all of the things she was holding back all those days, weeks, even moths ago.

That night two hearts broke a little bit more.