~ Ellis ~

I was completely and totally panicking. I don't know if I sounded cool or if I sounded dumb or too interested. Maybe it was fine but I found that a slim possibility. I reread the conversation over and over trying to properly interpret what was said. I was terrible at texting. I didn't have the intonation of the voice to identify how someone was feeling, nor the ability to convey what I was feeling despite the thousands of words I had stored in my mind.

"Ellis," Mom called. "You forgot to do the litterbox again. You really need to remember or Yale will start peeing on your stuff, and I won't stop him."

Yeah. We were that type of family. We named our cat Yale because it's a college mom says "I could" get into. Wasn't as bad as our dog, Harvard. Or my pet lizard, Stanford. She's always told me that I could do whatever I wanted because we were effectively rich. My dad was a lawyer and she was a realtor, and a family didn't really get much more successful than us. It was cool, but money didn't buy the time I missed with my parents.

I came out into the living room where mom was preparing her work bag. I didn't frown or feel any sadness because this was my normal. I came home and she left 20 minutes later. It was fine. Sometimes, I wonder if she knew me better at this point in my life, if she'd be disappointed in me. We used to be so close before she became a big-time realtor. She used to just work 3 days a week and the other days, we'd go do stuff together. I remember in 3rd grade, we would go out to this one sushi restaurant every weekend, and I always got the California roll. The place honestly sucked, but I loved going with mom. Then we moved here in 5th grade for her job, and we drifted. We loved each other, but we had skewed views of what one another were truly like.

"Yeah, sorry, I forgot again, as you know. Did that customer ever buy that house?" I tried to say something relevant.

"I've had many customers as of late. You'd have to be more specific," She continued to rifle through her bag.

"So, I'm gonna need a ride Saturday to the library," I mentioned.

"Yeah, no problem, what time?"

"12 pm. I'll take the bus back at five. I have a lot of homework this week and I offered to tutor someone at the library," I gave a small white lie. She stopped and looked up at me.

"You offered to tutor someone? Are they paying you? Honey, your time is valuable. Remember that," She began.

"It's fine, it's just Harri," I tried to calm her down. She stood up fully, dropping everything back in her bag, and put her hands on her hips.

"I always knew you were better than Harri. It's fine, I'll give you a ride. Now I gotta go, I love you," she bustled along, picking up her bag and swinging it around her shoulder. She leapt out the door and didn't bother to give me a hug. It was fine. I was used to it.

I sauntered back into my bedroom and ran my hands through my curly hair. It was a bad habit, but it was one I'd had forever. My curls separated and I looked wild, but it didn't matter. It wasn't like I was going anywhere other than my bed.

I grabbed my sketchbook and started to doodle like I had on my hands. I built up a gentle sunflower field with soft sun. I was drawing a girl lying in the middle of it all. She had no face thus far and I wanted to change that. I gave her soft features. I gave her features I thought were beautiful.

I gave her short, choppy hair and green eyes that could shine through the darkest shadows. I gave her a button nose and a smile with crooked teeth that were fitting and perfect. She was the most beautiful person I had seen and for a minute, I just wanted her to be real.

Holy-- Wait, she looks like Harri--

I paused. Now I was drawing her? How long was this girl going to be in my head?! She's nothing special. We just want to be friends. That's it.

My phone jinglied its tingly ringtone and I picked it up.

Incoming call from <3 Rose <3

"Hey, what's up?"

"Spill. Now."

Oh shit, this was going to take a while.

"Well," I told her everything that had happened today and she was completely silent through all parts of the story. I was surprised since Rose could rarely keep her mouth shut, but she did. In fact, after a certain point, I worried that she had either stopped paying attention or had completely lost sight of what I was talking about, but I was wrong.

"You guys are SO into each other. I'll bet you 20 bucks that you'll be dating by next month," I could hear Rose's smile through the phone. She always donned this large grin that made her eyes smile, and she reminded me of pure sun.

"I'll, uh, bet you 10? I don't even have 20 dollars."

"Pfft, that's a lie. Not with how rich your family is."

"Doesn't mean any of the money is mine or that I don't have to work for what I want."

"Fair. Anyways, point is, I've always thought that you guys might be good friends. Never thought it would be in that way, but hey no judgement here," She laughed.

"Did I tell you I accidentally drew her?"

"How does one, accidentally draw someone?"

"I was mindlessly doodling and when I put a face on the girl, I put on the prettiest features I could think of, and when I was done I realized it was a carbon copy of Harri," I admitted.

"I think in your own weird way, you just called Harri the prettiest girl you've ever thought of."

"I... think I did..."

How did that work?