Chapter 18: The Brain Stormer For A Song?

🤨" Wednesday Morning "🤨

💋" Ryan's POV "💋

😅" At Stacey's House "😅

I had woken up early this morning after having a nightmare. I prevented myself from screaming outta sheer terror. But that's besides the point.

After I had woken up from my nightmare I had sat on the bed for a few minutes thinking about the nightmare then I had gotten up and went to take a shower.

After I was done taking a shower I dried off, I was thankful for the spare set of clothes that Stacey had lent to me last night.

She let me borrow one of her t-shirts, a hoodie, a pair of jeans, and a pair of socks. I thanked her for them last night, that was probably obvious but oh well.

I put on the clothes Stacey is letting me use and look at the time. It's about 5:30 in the morning so, I decide that I'd make breakfast. Hopefully, they won't think I'm some kinda robber or something and I won't get attacked. But, that's hopefully.

I walk down the stairs and see Blake sleeping on one of the living room couches and Ember sleeping on the couch in the living on the opposite side of the living room.

I walk into the kitchen doing my best to be quiet as I look through the fridge for what they have for breakfast. I find some eggs and bacon.

After I take those out and close the fridge door back I look in the cabinets.... well I at least try to. I find pancake mix and reach up to try to grab it but, I couldn't reach it. It was literally right outta my reach. Like seriously, my finger tips could literally reach the mix but everytime I tried to make the box of pancake mix co.e ro the edge it would just end up getting pushed further and further back.

I hear footsteps and then the kitchen light flicks on. I squint my eyes as they adjust to the brightness. Once they adjust to the brightness of the light, I see a sleepy looking Ember standing at the doorway of the kitchen.

"Good morning!", I exclaim quietly and she smiles.

"Good morning.", she says back quietly her voice sounding hoarse from just waking up.

She walks over to the kitchen sink and grabs a cup from off the counter. She turns the sink on and fills the cup up then she leans against the counter as I attempt to reach the pancake mix.

"Damn my shortness.", I say to myself then I see from the corner of my eye I see ember walking over and she grabs the pancake mix. She puts it on the counter in front of as I make a pouting face.

When Ember looks back at me she giggles.

"I find your shortness cute.", she says and walks outta the kitchen and up the stairs. I'm just gonna assume she's going to take a shower or something. I think to myself as I get a mixing bowl and start to make the pancake mix.

About an hour later, and after I'm done making breakfast and washing the dishes, a few sets of footsteps coming from upstairs. I look up and see Ember fully awake and a half asleep Stacey and Summer. I giggle at how messy Stacey's and Summer's hair is.

"I think your guys hair is starting to turn to Medusa's hair.", I say giggling a bit more then putting everyone's plate of food on the table.

"I guess I'll go wake Blake up.", I sigh out noticing that I haven't seen Blake yet. They nod and I walk out into the living room to see Blake laying on the floor still asleep. I roll my eyes with a small smile.

"Hey Blake, wake up sleepy head.", I say shaking his arm with my foot.

"No.", he grumbles out and I sigh.

"Alright, looks like there's more food for me to ea-", I say before see a half asleep Blake jump up and run out into the dining room I laugh and walk into the dining.

"OW!", I say as a fall on to the floor at my failed attempt to slide into the dinning room. I hear footsteps and then laughing as I start to get up. I see Stacey and Summer standing there laughing while Blake and Ember stand at the entrance way of the dining room trying not to laugh.

I give them all a deadly glare and they stop.

"Now you guys aren't getting any food.", I say as if I own the place.

"What?! That's not fair!", I hear Stacey's mom exclaimed and I giggle.

"Good morning Mrs.Sanchez.", I say politely waving at her.

"I was talking to these guys cause they laughed at me when I fell.", I say pouting and she giggles.

"Well, I guess I figured out who the sassy one is of the group.", Mrs.Sanchez says and I smile.

"Anyways, go ahead Mrs.Sanchez.", I motion for her to go into the kitchen and she smiles at me.

We follow behind her and sit at the table.

After about 15 minutes everyone was done eating and everyone went and got ready. I went up to the room I was sleeping in last night and grabbed my things. I take the hair brush out of my bag. I brush my hair and go downstairs where everyone else is at.

🙃" At School "🙃

"Okay, I'll see ya guys in a bit.", I say to them as I walk to my locker and see that there's a bunch of sticky notes with notes all over my locker. I roll my eyes and angrily take down the notes not even bothering to read them.

This shit is getting old. I think to myself as I open my locker and put my things I don't need for my first few classes in it. I slam my locker door shut angrily still upset about the notes and walk to my first class, which is art for today.

🎨" After Art Class "🎨

After Art Class I went to my music class, which of course, Ember and Blake were in the same class.

When I got to my music class I sat down in the back like I usually do staring out the window.

After a few minutes I hear the screeching of the chairs next to me being and then the bell rings and the teacher starts talking.

"Good morning class!", he says in fake excitement.

"As you are all aware of that we are doing a project. Your project is to create a song that you made, you all are supposed to be creating an original song.", he says and I sigh

"Well, we are now a month and a half into this project meaning you guys have another month and a half to finish your project.", he says which everyone groans to.

I've already figured out that I'm going to dedicate the song I'm creating to my sister I just don't know how to word it. Damn it, I sho- I'm cut off from my thoughts when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look up to see Ember trying to get my attention.

"Hey, are you okay?", she asks kindly and I nodded.

"I know who I'm dedicating the song to I just don't know how to word it, I even already have the title!", I exclaim angrily and then hit my head against my desk which made a really loud sound causing everyone to turn in my direction.

"Ow.", I said lifting my head up off the desk and rubbing it.

"You don't seem very okay.", Blake says and I glare at him causing him to put his hands up in surrender.

I take out my music notebook and flip to the page where the title says 'I'm Sorry' and it said right underneath the title, 'This song is dedicated to my sister Zoey.' Something I could never forget even if I tried.

"You do know it wasn't your fault?", I hear Ember ask pulling me outta my thoughts as I look at her in confusion.

"Ya know, what happened with your sister, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault the stupid driver's fault.", she says and I look down at my lap trying my best to hold back tears that formed in my eyes.

A tear starts to roll down my cheek and just as quickly as it falls I wipe it away. I raise my hand and the teacher sees me raising my hand.

"Yes Ryan?", he asks

"M-may I-I go t-to the restroom please?", I ask trying my best to make my voice not crack but fail miserably. He looks at me concerned.

He's the only other person who knows what truly happened to my sister, and how she died. He nods already knowing why I asked. He hands me a bathroom pass as I walk to the front of the class. He whispers a 'If you ever need to talk I'm here.' to me and I nod.

I walk outta the classroom hearing people whisper and talk about me. I hurry outta the classroom and look down at the ground as my tears start to fall. I speed walk towards the restrooms and as soon as I get in the girls restroom I go into a cubicle lock the door to it and on sit on the toilet seat lid.

I bring my knees up to my chest one arm on top of my knees the other wrapped around them. I lay my head down on my arm that layer top of my knees and just start to silently cry.

I think about the good memories I have, back when Zoey was around, and compare it to this hellhole I call life. I still to this day, wish it was me instead of her. In all honesty, I just wish we weren't playing kick ball at all, I wish that I hadn't accidentally kick the ball into the road, and I wish that I still had my sister here. But, would we have moved here if sister was still alive. I know it sounds like I'm being a greedy bitch but, would we have moved here if she was? Would I have still gotten bullied here we did move and if she was alive? And would I have all the friends I have now if she was alive?

I know it sounds stupid and all but, would I have gone through all the shit I went through just to get to this point in my life, to finally have friends who care about me if she was still alive?

I don't think any of this would've happened if she was alive so, I guess in a way, I'm kinda glad she died. No matter how bad it hurts me to say it and no matter ugly it sounds, she's in a better place though. Even though she was young, she had gone away just as fast as she came, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

She might have been my older sister but and I knew that she would be the most likely to die first but I didn't think it would be so soon. I guess I shouldn't have taken what I had for granted.

And then idea had hit me. What if I didn't write a song saying I'm sorry to my sister but instead a song that's about what I've achieved so far in my life, what if I make a song about how I got to where I am now? I think to myself as I wipe my tears away and push aside all those memories that started my I guess you could say emotional breakdown.

I don't know what closure feels like but, I feel as if this is pretty damn close to being closure.

I unlock the stall door and walk over to the sinks. I turn on the water and splash some water in my face. I look up in the mirror and start to mental prepare myself for what's to come.

Okay, I can do this. Everything's going to be okay, I just gotta stay strong. I think to myself as I unlock the bathroom door and start to walk back to my music class.

When I get to my music class I go straight to the back of the classroom a smile on my face and sit down in my chair.

"You seem very cheerful.", Blake says and smile a brighter smile at him.

"Cause I am.", I say to him crumbling up the sheet of paper I had out already and started a new one.

"Why did you do that?", Ember asks and I smile back at her.

"Whether her death was my fault or not, I need to accept the fact that she's gone. Maybe not in my memories or in my heart but physically she's gone, and I just need to except that fact. So, instead of writing a depressing I'm sorry song, im gonna write a song about all the things I've achieved in my life to get to where I'm at today.", I tell Ember and Blake and they both nod and give me a small.

I write down my title of the song. Which for now will be My achievements. I'll think of a better name once I'm done writing the song.