#12

Today's Saturday and boy am i not ready for the day. Im feeling gloomy like really gloomy i feel like everyone is against me Ryan ditched me and Lilah is mad at me and i dont know why but I'm determined to fix that. I woke up and took a 15 minutes shower and dressed in a pink crop top and white shorts(colour crisis) and white and green kicks. I dyed my tips yellow and took my bag to go out. When i go downstairs i find it empty and quiet but considering its like 10 am and everyone is out to their business i dont find anything suspicious.

I pulled up on Lilah's driveway. I knocked on the door and Lilah's father opened. "Hey Xae...is it you?" He asked with a thick Mexican accent. "Yes sir its me is Lilah here?" He tensed at the question. "Ohhh uhh she's not hereee... im a shit liar she saw you coming and said she doesn't wanr to talk to you." He said shaking his head. "Did she say why?'" He shook his head no but stopped halfway. "But i wont tell you sweetie she will tell you on her own accord. But all i know is your relationship is stronger than Thor's hammer, you will and can overcome anything." He said with a fond smile and walked away.

I took out my phone as i sat down amd decided ro text her. "Hey Lilah boo im sorry for whatever i have done but we need to talk." And it went through and she read it but didnt reply. I sighed and decided to drive around. A few minutes later i found myself at the park. I sat down at the swings and decided to think about everything. Ryan is oblivious to the fact that im practically in love with him and he wants to be friends but do friends cuddle and whatever especially those of opposite sex? It hurts so bad but i canr cry its stupid i took out my phone and googled "HOW TO GET OVER YOUR CRUSH THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH" and all the suggestions were crap. I really felt like crying the sky turned grey it looked like it was about to rain match my mood will you sky? I heard footsteps amd a figure plopping on the opposite swing. The person had a black hoodie black jeans ans black shoes kinda like how i dress except todag im depressed and having a colour crisis.

"You know how people drop others when they need them the most?" A very familiar nasal voice said. I looked up and found Brittany looking at me but it wasnr the best version of her. She had bags under her eyes and they were red and nose was also red. "Brittany are you okay?" I quickly asked. "No X no I'm not." She said sullenly. "Im not okay im broken and i probably will be forever considering i lost my best friends and my pillars. You know i always thought it will be us till the end. But i got tired of you quickly i dont know why but i always thought you didnt match my standards but i was wrong. " she stopped. I felt confused very confused. What the hell is happening? "Im sorry Xaè and im going to apologise to Lilah too i am so sorry." She said and looked at me. "Its okay Bri i...i dont even know what to say. " she laughed. "Start by telling me why you're dressed like me. Its like we switched colour personalities." She said and laughed. "My thoughts exactly. You see that boy im always with?" She nodded. "The emo freak?" I chuckled and nodded. "He's not an emo though. He's the reason im like this. Im in love..." i added a bitter chuckle "... in love and he doesn't even see shit. Im pretty sure i drop hints." She laughed. "Yea you're an obvious person babe." "Yes but he didnt see anything and still doesn't. He's the reason im like this." She looked deep in thought. "You know what i think? Why dont you tell him? As far as i have seen he's smitten with you he's always chatting with Chris about this girl and i have found out now that its you. Tell him first and see how he reacts." She said. "You can never be too sure maybe he is waiting for you to speak first and..." her phone cut her off as it rang. "Uh huh yea im on my way." She said and folded her arms. "I got to go X nice seeing you. Dont be a stranger and remember what i said about emo boy." She said and walked away.

Although Brittany advised me good i felt like he'll think desperate but im going to tell yes on Monday.