A Mother's Sacrifice

bylovecraft68©

Authors Note: Welcome to my story. For my regular readers, it's been a long time since I returned to my "roots' and wrote an incest story. This is my first since Mom's Christmas Tradition and I hope it will be worth the wait. For those unfamiliar with my work, a disclaimer. I enjoy a good build up and like "justifying" the taboo attraction that we all come here to read about. I feel I deliver in the end, but enjoy the "getting there" so if a short stroke story is more your style, this story may not be for you. Now for people who know me, you know I like to try new things and put spins on stories that are tough to be original with. In this one I try a couple of new things. First this is my first story written from the Mom's Point of view. Second as I did in X-mas tradition with the device of a reluctant son, in this story we find a Mom who when confronted with her son's desire for her... puts his ass in counseling! Now no worries, she'll learn the error of her ways or we wouldn't have a story, but just something to try. As always you'll be the judge of whether or not I succeed. I hope you enjoy. Lovecraft68

I pulled into the driveway and shutting the car off, finally allowed the tears of frustration I had been fighting off on the ride home to over take me. How the hell had the night that was supposed to be perfect, go so wrong? Removing a tissue from my purse, I dabbed at my eyes and sighed, it wasn't like I didn't know the answer. There had only been one thing wrong with the night and it was me. I had been seeing Jeff for four months now and he had been very patient with my nervousness when it came to intimacy.

It's not like I didn't want to. I hadn't had sex since Bill passed away and at this point it was almost all I thought about. I'd been masturbating like a teenager and going through batteries like water, while imagining every sex act possible. Unfortunately when it came to actually doing it rather than fantasizing about it, I locked up. All I could think of was Bill. I knew that he would want me to; he had even mentioned it not long before he had succumbed to the cancer that had taken his life. Flattering to the end, he had told me that there was no way he would expect a beautiful woman like me to not enjoy the rest of her life.

That was easier said than done. The first few months I was mourning and didn't even want to date. A few months ago I began to get the urge and after spending weeks having more wet dreams than I'd had in the rest of my life combined, decided to try dating. I didn't have a hard time getting attention; my fair complexion was miraculously still smooth considering what I had been through with Bill, and my long auburn hair and green eyes always got me attention. That was if they noticed my face before my legs, which I always felt were my best feature, at least from the neck down. I was on the tall side and years of jogging had done wonders for my long legs.

I always felt that made up for being a bit small on top. Although the advantage to being small chested was that gravity had been kind and even at forty four they were still firm and perky. I also had very light pink nipples that used to drive Bill crazy and.... Right there was the problem; I couldn't stop thinking of Bill. When I masturbated I thought about all the hot times we'd had. I suppose that was okay, but on the several occasions I'd tried to get intimate with the three men I'd tried dating I started thinking of him as well.

I'm sure the fact that Bill and I had met in high school and he had been my only lover was a big part of the problem. Well that and missing the hell out of him. Bill and I knew each other's bodies better than our own and I now felt like a nervous school girl when another man touched me. The first couple of guys hadn't been a big deal, it was only a couple of dates each and when I started to get nervous I just broke it off.

Jeff on the other hand was different. Jeff was a nice looking guy who was not only sweet but very understanding. After a few dates that went very well, I still wouldn't take him up on his offer to go back to his place, nor would I invite him home. I had an easy out for mine. Tommy was living at home while going to school and even though he was nineteen, I would feel funny bringing another man home. There was no excuse for not going back to Jeff's and eventually he asked if it were him. I really liked him and wanted it to work so I told him the truth, that I didn't feel ready yet.

To my delight he was fine with it, even adding with a smile that he was sure I would be worth the wait. That had put me at ease and twice I went back to his house. Both times we sat on his couch and after a couple of drinks started getting hot and heavy. The first time I froze up when his hand went up my blouse and squeezed my tit. I immediately pulled away and felt ridiculous. Jeff was okay about it and next week we tried again with the same result. Jeff made a joke about how I was saving him money on hot water because he kept taking cold showers. He laughed when he said it, but I could tell he was starting to get frustrated and didn't blame him. Fact was I was as well, going directly to bed when I got home and stroking my clit to the thought of what should have happened between us.

Jeff invited me out this Friday night and I spent all week, working myself up for it. When I played with myself, I forced my mind to stay on him, picturing his big baby blue eyes looking up at me while he licked my neglected clit. Better yet, I envisioned me on my knees. I loved to suck cock and there were times I felt I missed it almost as much as sex. I got off several times to the image of him rewarding my efforts by cumming in my mouth. I wanted to get an early start, so I left straight from work and leaving my car at his house we went to dinner.

In the past, Jeff had always picked me up and dropped me off. So tonight I had left my car there as a sign to him that I planned on coming back with him. I could see by the big smile he gave me, that the act was not lost upon him. Dinner was great and I spent most of it keeping those hot images of us together in my mind. I even had an extra glass of wine to stay relaxed. We got back to his place and going over to his couch, sat down and kicked my sandals off, again trying to show him I planned on getting very comfortable there.

I was wearing a playful short red sundress that accentuated my legs, and did a good job of propping up my tits. As he got us a glass of wine and walked over, I reached up and made a show of letting my long red hair down, giving it a playful shake. My hair cascading down the exposed skin of my back made me feel sexy, but not so much as the look of desire on Jeff's face as he sat down next to me. Handing me the wine, he whispered, "Damn you're beautiful Joanne."

"Yeah?" Giving my hair another toss, I made show of stretching out my legs. "You see something you like?"

"I like everything I see." He replied, as I took a sip of the wine.

"Then maybe you should do more than look."

I said it softly, hoping I sounded more confident then I felt. As soon as he had sat next to me I could feel my stomach beginning to tighten.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Reaching out, he slipped the wine glass from my hand, and after placing it on the coffee table, leaned towards me. Closing my eyes, I parted my full red lips and awaited his kiss. My plan was to just let him take charge, relax and let him get me into it. That idea started out well enough. Jeff kissed me gently, teasingly sliding his lips across mine. I whimpered in my throat when I felt his tongue push against my lips. I opened my mouth to accept it and sighed as it played across my own. I could feel my heart pounding, but more importantly my pussy was heating up.

I began to relax and wrapping my arms around him started sliding them up and down his back. Jeff's hands went to my shoulders as well, and then began trailing down. I gasped when I felt him cup my tits through the dress and despite a clench in my stomach, let him continue. I was getting nervous, but refused to quit. I reached up and grabbing the straps to my dress, quickly slid them down and pulled it down over my red lace bra. Jeff leaned back and smiling, brought his hands up and slipped them under the straps to my bra.

I hesitated and immediately saw him frown. Forcing what I hoped was a sexy smile, I whispered, "Go ahead."

I could see the relief on Jeff's face and told myself this was a good thing. He really desired me, but was not going to push, I was in control. I closed my eyes and tried not to tense up as I felt my bra being slid down and my small, firm tits pop out.

"Perfect." Jeff said softly.

I did flinch when I felt his hands on my now bare tits, and he stopped. Reaching up, I put my hands over his and pressed them to my tits. I opened my eyes and whispered, "Sorry, it's been awhile."

"No worries," Jeff breathed, while gently fondling my tits. "We'll go nice and slow."

I nodded and a soft moan escaped me, as his finger tips found my hard nipples and started rolling them between them. I was beginning to breath heavy and became aware of my hips starting to rock. I leaned in and kissed Jeff, harder than before, trying to let my body take over my mind. Jeff kissed me back while his fingers continued to tease my nipples. Jeff had a soft touch and I told myself it would be fine, he was in no hurry and wanted me to enjoy this.

Speaking of enjoying, I decided to see if he were enjoying and dropped my hand down into his lap. We both gasped as I found his hard cock and gave it a squeeze through his pants. I was still nervous, but as if moving of its own accord, I started rubbing his cock. Oh how good that felt! As I'd said it had been a long time, well over a year. My mind began to relax as I focused on how that hard flesh would feel in my mouth. More importantly how it would feel between my legs, where my pussy was getting hotter by the minute.

Sensing me relaxing, Jeff bent his head and I groaned as his tongue began swirling around my nipple. He released a moan around my swollen flesh when I began stroking his cock faster and harder. When I reached his zipper, I let go of his cock and bringing my other hand into play, unzipped his pants. Jeff switched to my other nipple while fondling the other and I could feel my hand trembling as I reached into his underwear and grabbed his cock.

I sighed at how hard he was and started pumping it. Jeff, whispered, "Oh, yes" around my nipple, then dropped his hand onto my thigh. As his hand slid up under my dress I started jerking him harder. I could feel him thrusting into my hand and had the urge to drop down to my knees for him. After all he had been so patient and.... All thoughts turned between my legs where Jeff had deftly slid his fingers inside the thong I was wearing and slid through my wet pussy.

"Ohhh," I moaned, my hips twitching when he grazed my clit.

Still stroking his cock, I opened my legs further, allowing him better access to my yearning flesh. Oh, this was it! Jeff's cock felt good in my hand, his tongue was all over my nipple and his fingers...had just plunged into my pussy! I cried out and started to rock my hips into him as he began slowly working them in and out.

"Oh that feels good!" I purred, "Right there!" I added as his thumb found my clit while his fingers remained buried inside of me.

"Damn straight it does." Jeff said softly.

Removing his face from my tits, he started kissing my neck. I slowed my stroking so he wouldn't cum until after I did, that way I could slide to my knees as I had thought of earlier. Jeff placed his hand on the back of my head and guided my face to his shoulder, so that I was leaning on him as his fingers worked my pussy. I closed my eyes and moaned softly. My thighs were starting to tremble and I eagerly awaited the first orgasm from someone's touch aside from my own in a long time.

"You like that Joanne?" He asked softly.

"I do." I gasped as his hand sped up.

"There you go," Jeff whispered as my hips started rocking harder. "Just like that Joanne, you just let me take care of you baby and I'll...."

My eyes opened and I felt my stomach pitch, Bill had always called me baby.

"Easy," Jeff said feeling me tense up, "Just let go baby and..."

I swallowed hard. I knew it was Jeff speaking, but all I could here was Bill's voice in my ear, "There you go beautiful," he would always say. "You just lay back baby and let me..."

"Stop!" I gasped in his ear.

"Joanne, please," He said, then groaned as I let his cock go.

"I...I can't!" I exclaimed, pushing against his arm and causing his fingers to slide out of me.

Jeff put his hands up,

"What did I do? I don't understand!"

"It's...it's not you!" I told him while quickly pulling my bra back up. "Its me."

"Yeah, Joanne, it is you." Jeff said disgustedly, tucking his softening cock back into his pants.

"I'm...." I stopped and shrugged.

I had nothing to say, I was frustrated and now humiliated, I felt like a teenage drama queen.

"I'm sorry." I said softly, while slipping the straps of the dress back on my shoulders.

Jeff nodded and sighed. I could see he was upset, but trying not to be.

Look Joanne," He began. "I know what you're going through, but it's been over a year."

"I know, I..."

"And I feel I've been pretty good about this."

"You have," I said quietly, looking down at my trembling hands in my lap. I knew what was coming and again the feeling of being an awkward teenager came over me. "But." I said it before he could.

"But Joanne, I can't do this." He shook his head. "We're in our forties, we're not kids and I don't need drama."

"I want too," I tried lamely, "I just..."

"You probably need to talk to someone." He sighed. "You need to move on Joanne."

I nodded, thinking of only it were that easy.

*****

I jumped at the sound of a horn beeping. Looking into the rear view mirror, I saw a car out in front of the house across the street. The horn had startled me, but the timing couldn't be better. Who knows how many more times I would have replayed that scene while sitting here like a girl who had just been dumped? I shook my head, as that was pretty much what I was. I got out of the car and approaching the house frowned when I saw Tommy was still home.

He had told me that he was going out with some friends and on the ride home, I had been grateful for that, because I didn't want him to see me upset. I had told him not to expect me home tonight and by my showing up he would know things had gone bad for me again. Not that I openly discussed my sex life with my son, but he had been asking me a lot of questions lately about why I hadn't tried meeting someone.

Tommy and I had always been close, to the point Bill used to bust his balls and call him a mama's boy. Since his father's passing however, Tommy had gotten even closer to me. In the beginning I figured it was normal, but as time went by he seemed to never want to leave my side. If he wasn't at school or working at the grocery store, he was home sitting on the couch watching tv with me.

The only time he wasn't with me was when he would go out with Lisa, his girlfriend of the last year. Three months ago, Tommy told me they had broken up. I had been surprised, not only was Lisa quite pretty, but sweet and had been very supportive of Tommy while his father had passed. I had even called Lisa who seemed as surprised as me, and was more than a little heartbroken. When I had broached the subject with him, Tommy had seemed evasive, not giving me much more than "It didn't feel right anymore".

Since then he had been like my shadow, even running errands with me on the weekends. I kept asking him if he wouldn't rather be out with his friends or trying to meet another girl, but he would just shrug and say he liked spending time with me. Tommy had then turned the conversation around on me, asking me why I was still alone. It was my turn to shrug and I made an excuse of not knowing how to meet someone. Tommy had told me that I was beautiful enough to attract attention anywhere. That made me smile, Tommy like his father, was always very flattering to me.

I had finally caved and told him the real reason, that I was a nervous wreck around men. His father was my one and only and I was having a hard time putting him past me. Tommy had seemed strangely satisfied with that answer. As I made my way up the walkway to the front door, I recalled that Tommy had seemed nervous when I mentioned Jeff and played twenty questions with me whenever we went out. When I'd told him I wasn't coming home tonight he had managed a weak 'good for you', but I could tell he was upset. Maybe he didn't want me replacing his father. That could become an issue, but seeing as I didn't seem able to replace Bill yet, I would worry about it another time.

Seeing I figured on not being around, I had bullied him into going out with his friends tonight. They were supposed to go shoot some pool then go to a club. Hopefully he would catch the eye of some cutie and start to forget about keeping me company. Apparently, I thought as I slipped my key into the door, Tommy had changed his mind. Now it would be the question game again. No, I would just tell him to get his ass out of the house and have some fun.

The door opened up into the living room and I saw Tommy was sitting on the couch watching television. As usual he had the volume up high and didn't hear me come in. Walking up closer to him I called out,

"Hey! What are you doing home?"

Tommy jumped and turning towards me narrowed his eyes.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"I asked you first." I told him as I walked over to the couch.

Sitting down next to him, I picked up the remote and shut the TV off.

"Well I..." he started, but I cut him off.

"Tommy you said you were going out with Ron and Joe tonight. We talked about this hon, you need to get out of the house."

"I...I am." Tommy pointed at the clock on the mantle. "It's only eight thirty, Joe got stuck at work and he's going to pick me up at nine."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows

"Really," he spread his arms out, "Look at me, I'm dressed to go out."

I glanced down and noticed that he was wearing a black short sleeved collared shirt and matching dockers with a decent pair of shoes. I'd also caught a whiff of his wings cologne and nodded.

"Okay, you're off the hook." I made a show of looking him up and down. "And looking damn good, maybe you'll be back on the hook soon."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sure you'll make some heads turn tonight."

"Oh" he shrugged, then gave me that shy smile that was so much like his fathers. "You really think I look good?"

"Damn straight I do!" I laughed, "How could you not? You look just like your good looking parents!"

Tommy smiled again and began to blush. I wasn't just making him feel good; Tommy was a good looking young man. Like his father, he had thick black hair and soft borderline pretty features. In addition to his father's good looks Tommy had inherited my fair complexion and green eyes. It was quite the combination and he had never had a problem with girls. The fact that he was attractive made me love that Tommy was sweet and a little on the shy side. Most good looking guys his age were cocky players. Bill had instilled in Tommy to respect women, and if he were with one to not only treat her right, but make her the only girl he was with. It had always made me proud when Lisa's parents would tell me what a gentlemen he was and how happy their daughter had met a nice guy.

"Hey Mom?"

"What Tommy?"

"You look really good tonight yourself."

"Thank you." I told him. "I wasn't sure if this was a little too young of a look for me."

"Not at all, because you do look young." He said, then added, "And beautiful."

I was going to tell him to stop brownnosing, but stopped when I noticed his gaze had dropped and he appeared to be looking down at my legs. I looked down and saw that the short dress had ridden up and was bunched up around my mid thigh. I went to push it down, but instead continued to watch him. Tommy was fidgeting, his foot tapping and his fingers drumming on his leg. That reminded me of the fact that he had seemed nervous a lot lately, but as with his break up, I couldn't get anything out of him.

He didn't seem to notice I hadn't replied. I watched closely and it seemed as if his eyes were not just looking at my legs, but moving up and down, as if he were checking me out. That was ridiculous; he was just avoiding looking at me, which was another weird habit he had developed lately. Even though he was spending a lot of time with me, he always seemed to be looking away from me, even when we were talking.

No, that wasn't true; he did look at me, but when I wasn't looking. Whenever we were on the couch watching TV, I would look over and he would immediately look away. I was beginning to fear he was becoming fixated on me, as if he were afraid to leave me alone for fear of losing me. I had sent Tommy to counseling before and after Bill passed. He stopped going a few months ago and I was starting to wonder if it wasn't time for him to start going again. Noticing he was still looking I asked, "Is something wrong with my legs?"

"Huh?" Tommy snapped his head up and immediately got that nervous look on his face.

"My legs, you look like you're staring at them."

"Oh, ummm no there's nothing wrong with them, they're fine." He stopped and shaking his head continued, "I mean not fine like hot, I mean fine like there's nothing wrong with them, they look...."

He stopped and gave me that shrug that was becoming a permanent way of expressing himself lately.

I did push my dress down and that seemed to get him going again.

"I wasn;t looking like that Mom really! I just was....I think I was just kind of thinking and my eyes were...."

"It's okay honey." I said quickly afraid he was going to get really upset. "I was just asking, why would I think you were staring like that?

"Umm, " he shrugged again and sighed. "Sorry, just jumpy lately."

"I can see that. You want to talk about anything?"

He shook his head.

"Okay." I nodded. "But you know you always can right?"

"I do." He said giving me what looked like a relieved smile.

"About anything," I added reaching out and putting my hand on his cheek.

As he had done since he was a child Tommy leaned his cheek into the palm of my hand and gave me a sweet smile. Then when I removed my hand, asked

"Anything?"

I felt my hopes rise, but keeping my expression neutral nodded.

"Anything honey, I'm your mom there's nothing you can't tell me."

Tommy took a deep breath and I sat there in anticipation. A moment later he gave me a forced smile and said. "That's good to know."

I smiled back hoping I didn't look disappointed.

"Hey Mom?"

"Yes Tommy?"

"Why are you home?"

"Oh." It was my turn to shrug. "Well I..."

"Things not go well tonight?" he asked.

I paused before I answered. Tommy had an expectant look on his face, as if that's what he wanted to hear. I briefly considered telling him things went well, but that would be messing with him and I didn't want to do that to him.

"No." I said quietly. "No Tommy, they didn't."

"That's too bad." He said slowly as if trying to control his voice. "Was it....was it the same thing you told me about?"

"Yeah Tommy it was." Talking to him had gotten Jeff off of my mind, but now I could feel my eyes beginning to fill up again. "I...I just couldn't."

"Hey Mom, its okay!" Tommy slid over next to me and put his arm around my shoulder.

"No it's not." I said miserably. "Jeff was a nice guy Tommy and good to me. I just want to be able to let someone be good to me." Knowing it was going to sound pathetic, but not caring, I whispered, "Is that too much to ask?"

I could feel tears starting to flow down my cheeks and Tommy immediately hugged me. I folded into him, grateful for the closeness. Tommy put his arms around my shoulders and feeling as if I was the child being comforted, I put my head on his shoulder. I felt his hand begin to rub my back, then slide up under my hair and rest against the back of my head.

"You deserve to be treated good Mom," he said quietly. "Maybe Jeff just wasn't the right one."

"He seemed it." I said into his shoulder. "He was so nice, but I just got nervous again."

"I bet when it's the right guy you won't." He said comfortingly.

"You think?"

"I think so." he nodded against my head. "The right guy will be really good to you, treat you right and you won't be nervous at all I'll bet."

My reply was cut off when Tommy turned his head and kissed the top of my head, then slid his head down and nuzzled his face into my neck. It was an odd gesture and I could feel his lips against my skin. He wasn't kissing my neck, but it felt a little uncomfortable and I eased back to face him. he seemed to resist me pulling away from him, but after a second dropped his arms from my shoulders. He looked at me sadly and I felt bad that I had let on I was upset. He started to speak then stopped.

"What is it honey?"

"I...umm." He hesitated and I resisted the urge to reach out and shake him and ask what was on his mind.

"you what Tommy?" I asked, trying to keep the edge out of my voice.

We both jumped as his cell phone rang. Tommy picked it up and looking at the number, turned and looked out the window.

"Ron's here." He said, looking relieved.

He quickly stood up and said, "I'll probably be really late the club is open until two am."

"Have a good time honey, you could use one." So could I, but he probably had a better chance than I did.

"I'll try." He started to turn away, and then abruptly turning back, leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"I love you Mom."

"I...I love you to honey," I replied, a little surprised at the emotion in his voice.

Without another word, he turned and quickly left the house, giving me a little wave over his shoulder as he did.

I sat back on the couch and putting my feet up on the table looked down at my long shapely legs. What a waste I thought disgustedly. I looked up and rolled my eyes at the sound of Ron peeling out from the front of the house. Tommy had been acting weird again tonight. It was time to talk to him about talking to someone. Looking down again at my legs, the ones that should be wrapped around Jeff right now, I thought that maybe it was time for both of us to talk to someone.

*****

I stood in the shower letting the hot water beat down on my shoulders. I had gone into the bathroom immediately after Tommy left and hopped into the shower, hoping to wash away tonight's frustration. After standing under the hot water and soaping myself up, I started to relax and once I relaxed, decided to ease some of my frustration. Sliding my soapy fingers through the lips of my smooth pussy, I moaned softly. Finding my clit with my fingers I started rubbing it in slow teasing circles. I sighed and leaned back against the wall. I envisioned my fingers as Jeff's tongue and started rocking my hips into my fingers.

I began moving my fingers faster and took a deep breath, enjoying the steamy air around me. Bill and I had always love to play in the shower. We....I dropped my hand from between my legs and brought my hands to my face. I couldn't even keep my mind on another man while playing with myself. No longer horny, I stood under the hot water and let the tears come again. At first they were tears of sorrow that Bill had left me so young. Those tears turned into ones of bitterness that I couldn't enjoy myself the way I wanted too. I should be lying in Jeff's bed, spent and satisfied. Not crying in the shower or worse yet, letting my teenage son comfort me. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I recalled Tommy's words, that I wouldn't be nervous with the right one.

It made sense in a way, but what was I supposed to do, keep going through this? With a disgusted sigh I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. After drying off, I slipped on the short red silk robe I only wore when Tommy wasn't home. It was my favorite, but barely went down past my ass. I liked wearing it because it made me feel sexy and I needed all the help I could get right now. As I started to pull the robe closed I stopped and looked at my reflection in the mirror behind the door. I took in my long legs, still flat stomach and perky tits. My long wet hair was draped over the right one and I had to say I looked damn good. A shame I couldn't let anyone enjoy it.

I went out into the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea. As I sat and drank it, I idly flipped through the paper. I was only skimming the articles, but it was enough to keep my mind off of things. When I finished the tea I looked at the clock and saw it was only nine fifteen. It seemed much later and I was exhausted, but then again my emotions had really taken a lot out of me. Going into the bedroom, I lit a couple of scented candles and lying back on the bed sighed and stretched.

The silky material of the robe rubbed across my nipples, making them hard and reminding me of what I needed. What I really needed was to not be in this bed alone, but what would have to do is yet another self induced orgasm. Slowly, the way a lover would, I untied the robe and opened it. I slid my hands up my stomach and cupping my tits gave my nipples a squeeze. My breath hissed between my teeth and closing my eyes, I started teasing my nipples, rolling them between my fingers.

I could feel my pussy heating up and keeping my left hand on my nipple slid my hand back down my stomach and through the wet lips of my pussy. I gasped as I slipped two fingers inside and started thrusting my hips into them. I contracted the muscles of my pussy and moaned as it clenched around my fingers. I definitely felt tighter than before and just the thought of what a nice good sized cock would feel after all this time caused my fingers to start to thrust faster. I reluctantly let my nipple go, but released a loud moan as those fingers now started rubbing my clit on hard fast circles.

I needed to cum and giving up all pretense of trying, thought of Bill. He loved to lick pussy as much as I loved sucking cock and there were nights that we didn't even fuck, just lied there licking and sucking. My throat would be sticky from swallowing several loads of his cum and his face glazed from my sticky juices. Closing my eyes, I pictured Bill down there, looking up at me with his big brown eyes, while his tongue masterfully played my clit. His strong fingers would be buried in my pussy and when he knew I was on the edge he would slip one into my ass and....

I threw my head back and cried out as that image sent me over the edge. I had always been loud, but with Tommy here I would either bite my lip of bury my face in the pillow. But whenever he wasn't around, I took advantage of it and screamed as loud as I could. That was exactly what I did now. Driving my hips hard off of the bed and into my fingers, I squeezed my clit and let out another loud cry. I arched my back and moaned as the orgasm had its way with me, before I collapsed panting into the bed.

I lay there with my eyes closed until my heart stopped pounding and sitting up, slipped the robe off. I realized that I hadn't gotten a nightgown out, but fuck it. I slipped under the covers naked for the first time since... well for quite awhile. It occurred to me my bedroom door wasn't locked, but Tommy always knocked. Turning my head, I frowned. My bedroom shade was up a few inches and the window open. The house next door was very close and I hoped no one had heard me.

The orgasm was nowhere near as good as the real thing, but it did relax me and with a sigh, I closed my eyes and began to drift off. A moment later my eyes snapped open.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed.

I had just been struck by the thought that I hadn't put in my final sales numbers before I left work tonight. I'd been so distracted by the thought of going out with Jeff I had forgotten. If the numbers didn't go in by midnight, my commission would be bumped back to the following week and the mortgage was due before that. With a groan, I forced myself out of bed and slipping the robe on, left the bedroom and went down the corridor to my office.

Flipping on the light, I sat at my desk and opened my lap top. It was off and I pressed the power button. I frowned when nothing happened. I looked over to see if the charger was attached and rolled my eyes. Tommy's charger had shit the bed a couple of days ago and I told him I would pick him up one Saturday and had said he could use mine. Getting up, I walked down the hall way and stood in front of his bedroom door.

I prided myself on giving Tommy his privacy and not being nosy. Especially lately when he was acting weird and part of me wanted to go through his drawers. Well there was no choice, I needed to use his lap top and he wasn't due home for a few hours yet. I entered his room and after rolling my eyes at his unmade bed, and the piles of clothes, books and Cd's everywhere made my way over to his small desk in the corner.

Sitting down, I went to open his lap top and stopped. On the desk in front of me was Tommy's journal. Since he was a young boy Tommy had kept a journal and somewhere in his closet was a box that contained all of them. I knew he started this one shortly after Bill died and as if it had a mind of its own, my hand reached out for it. I stopped myself from picking it up. The journal was his private thought and feelings, I had no right to look. Considering his recent behavior however, it was tempting. I sat there tapping my long red nail on the leather cover, then finally pushed it away from the computer and looked at the screen which had come up.

"Damn." I said aloud.

Tommy had been watching porn and must have paused the video and forgot to close it out. I was looking at a still of a good looking young blond guy who was sitting in a chair. Between his legs was a redhead who upon closer look was a lot older then the guy. The woman was topless and looking up at him while holding his rather impressive cock. It didn't bother me Tommy was watching porn, hell he was a nineteen year old boy. I did find it odd he was watching something involving an older woman. Then again I'd heard that older women, cougars they were called were in vogue these days. I shook my head as I recalled laughing when Tommy once told me I was one.

Putting my hand on the mouse, I went to close the link, then staring at the look of lust in the woman's eyes; I hovered over the play symbol. Looking over my shoulder as if I thought someone was going to come in, I shrugged and clicked the video.

"Ohhh, is this all for me?" The woman purred while stroking the guys cock.

"Oh yeah," he whispered, "All of it."

I couldn't help thinking that there was quite a bit of it and as I watched the redhead lean over and teasingly flick her tongue across the head of his dick, I felt a warm feeling between my legs. Stp that! You're in your sons room! Still I sat there transfixed while turning her head to the side, she slid her lips along the length of his shaft. I licked my lips at the memory of how good a nice hard cock in my mouth and could feel my nipples hardening.

"Yeah baby?" The redhead moaned, "You want me to suck your cock?"

"Oh, please!" he moaned

Hell at this point I wanted to see her suck his cock.

"ooooh," she cooed, "Please, I like that! Then again you should ask nicely shouldn't you?"

She smiled and again, moving with a will all its own, my hand started to slide down between my legs.

"After all," she continued, pumping his cock hard and fast, "I am your mother after all!"

"What?" I asked out loud, my hand stopping inches from my pussy.

"Oh, mom!" he whimpered, "Please don't tease me!"

My mouth dropped open and I shook my head as she smiled wickedly, "Oh, don't worry baby, your mothers no tease!"

She opened wide and in one motion took his cock into his mouth and began sucking it like it was sporting event.

"Oh Mom!" The kid cried out, "Oh yes, please keep sucking my cock oh! I...."

I clicked pause on the video and brought my hand to my mouth. My god that was disgusting! What the hell site was this? Looking up at the top of the screen I saw the name; "Loving Mothers"

I felt my stomach begin to twist. Why the hell would he be looking at this? Had he just stumbled on it and liked the woman? Even as I thought that, I looked beneath the title and saw "welcome back Tom93". Oh my God he was a member. Just under that was a link "Your favorite videos."

My finger trembling on the mouse I clicked it and let out a breath as I saw about a dozen videos there. My eyes wandered across the tag lines and I wrinkled my nose in disgust . "Billy rubs his mom's feet and she lets him rub more!"

"Joel's Mom makes his wet dream, a hot reality"

"Oh that's nasty," I muttered while looking at an older woman dressed in sexy Santa lingerie.

"Matt's Mom introduces him to a special Christmas Tradition."

I shuddered at the photo of a video where a mother was in her hands and knees, a look of absolute pleasure on her face as her son fucked her doggy style. The son was not only fucking her, but pulling her long red hair and....

I stopped and again scanned the stills of the videos. Every woman had long red hair. Tommy wasn't just watching mother son incest videos but bookmarking women who....

"Oh my fucking god!" I exclaimed.

They all looked like me.

Quickly clicking the site off, I closed the lap top and picked up the journal.

I opened it at the book mark and saw that he had made an entry for today. My hands were shaking so badly I couldn't keep the book still enough to read it and put it down flat on the desk.

This is terrible! Mom told me she's not coming home tonight! That means she's going to let Jeff have sex with her! I wanted to say something, to just blurt it out, but I can't! As much as I hope she would want me too I know she'll be upset. I just let her leave. Now that asshole is going to get to enjoy her the way I want to. I know it's a bad thought, but I hope she gets scared again.

"Oh, no." I said softly.

I wanted nothing more than to close the book and pretend I hadn't seen it. Instead, I flipped backwards through the book. Many of the entries were typical, about work, school people he knew. I lingered over one entry that simply said, "Had a tough day today, I really miss dad."

I grabbed a bunch of pages between my fingers and flipped them back. I skimmed the entries and stopped on one that was dated three months ago.

What the hell is wrong with me? It's bad enough I can't stop looking at Mom, but last night I dreamt of her. She came into my room in that short little red robe and after she took it off, got between my legs and went down on me. I woke up so hard I jerked off. I tried thinking of Lisa, but kept picturing Mom!

I jerked my hands away from the journal as if it had burned me. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm down then forced myself to keep looking through the book.

I've given up fighting it. I want my mother. She's the most beautiful most desirable woman I've ever seen. I dreamt of her again last night. This time she was riding me. She was moving nice and slow and her tits were....

I hurriedly flipped past that and stopped when I saw Lisa's name.

I broke up with Lisa today. I felt bad because she was really upset. I was a little too. Lisa's a great girl and always good to me. But it's not fair to her. For the last couple of weeks every time we had sex I kept picturing mom. Hell, I even thought about asking her to dye her hair red. I have to let her go. Mom would never want to be with me if I was still with Lisa. No, when I tell her how I feel I want it to be just us.

Oh my God! Those words kept going through my mind. Where had this come from? Did I do something wrong? I was always very affectionate with Tommy. Even at nineteen I still gave him a kiss on the cheek whenever I came or went, and sometimes a hug as well, but nothing I thought was inappropriate. No, there was no way I could have led him on. I....I was his mother! Torn between the disturbing words in front of me and my racing mind, I hesitated, and with an air of resignation, started turning the pages again.

The next entry I spotted caused a sharp twist in my already turning stomach.

I reached a new low tonight. I had dropped my wallet while mowing the lawn and was underneath Mom's window looking for it. I heard a noise and when I peeked in her window under the blind I saw her playing with herself. She was on top of the covers, and her robe was open and damn did she look good! She was playing with one of her nipples and her hand was between her legs. She moved it and I could see her pussy. I told myself to walk away, but I couldn't stop watching. The look on her face when she came made me want to cum. I want to make her make that face! She's too sweet and hot to be alone! She shouldn't be doing that herself. God how I want to touch her and taste her and her to taste me! We'd fuck fast and hard the first time, then I would go slow and sweet like Lisa liked it, show her how much I love her how much I...

Unable to take anymore I slammed the book shut. Sitting back in the chair I rubbed at my now throbbing temples. My son wanted to have sex with me! Not just sex, but he was thinking along the lines of those movies. "We'd fuck fast and hard the first time"

Now that I knew what the hell was I supposed to do? If I told him, he would know I was snooping, but there was no way I could ignore this. I closed my eyes, trying to focus and come up with how the hell I could even start this conversation. So Tommy, what's this I hear about you wanting me to blow you? Tommy was going to need help, there was no doubt about that. Maybe I could make an appointment with someone and talk to him there. No, I should bring it up to him first.

I could feel tears beginning to fill my eyes. Where had I gone wrong? This at least explained everything. Why he always looked away when I looked at him, how nervous he had been and why he kept playing twenty questions with my sex life. With a sinking feeling I realized that it meant I had been right, he had been staring at my legs. I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of the front door opening and closing. I felt my heart start to pound in my chest as I heard Tommy walking down the hallway.

Staying in his chair I looked to see that the journal was close to where it was when I entered. Moving quickly, I opened the lap top and clicked Explorer. I made a show of staring at the computer as I heard him getting closer. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my teary eyes.

"Mom?" Tommy asked, entering the room. "What are you doing?"

I paused, taking a couple of seconds to make sure I could keep my voice steady. Then, spinning the office chair around faced him.

"Oh, I had to put my sales in and you have my cord."

To my credit, I sounded a little tense, but for the most part not too bad.

"Oh." Tommy's eyes narrowed and he started to say something, but I cut him off.

"What are you doing home? It's only a little after ten?"

Tommy shrugged and his eyes began darting around.

"We grabbed some food, but when we got to the club it was full and I didn't feel like going to the one they wanted to try so they dropped me off."

When he stopped his eyes made their way back to me, then jerked away.

"Is something wrong Tommy?" I asked, thinking maybe he was wondering if I looked through the journal.

"Well I..." pointing at me he said softly. "Your robe."

With a start it occurred to me I was wearing the short red robe, the one he had commented on and the one that showed way more than it should. Looking down, my eyes widened. When I had reached in to play with myself, it had opened and my tits were partially exposed. My nipples weren't showing, but it was dam close. Blushing I started to close the robe, and then stopped as an idea struck me. There was still a chance this was not as bad as it seemed. There was no doubt there was a problem, but maybe it was just a fantasy. What if he was confronted with a chance to make it real? Would he take me up on it, or realize it was wrong and back off.

You're sick Joanne, I thought, but this would be the only way to know for sure. Giving him what I hoped to be an inviting smile, I whispered, "Tommy, come here."

"Uh...Okay."

He walked over until he was standing directly in front of me. I saw his eyes lock onto my chest, then drop down where he was confronted with the sight of my legs. I noticed he was rocking nervously back and forth and looked like a deer in headlights.

"What is it honey?" I asked, giving my hair a toss.

"Your robe Mom." He repeated. "You um....might want to fix that."

"Do you want me too?" Oh Joanne, this is so wrong!

"I..." he looked confused.

"Tommy, honey do you think I'm beautiful?"

"Very!" he said immediately

"How about sexy?" I ran my hands down along my sides, causing the robe to open just a little more. "Do you think I'm sexy?"

"You....you're my Mother." He said quietly, giving me a ray of hope.

"So you don't think your Mom's sexy?" I pushed my lips into a pout.

Tommy stared at me and his eyes were now locked onto my partially visible tits. He licked his lips nervously and I could feel my heart pounding.

"Do...do you want me too?" he asked.

His eyes had widened and that ray of hope appeared to be fading. He was now staring down at my legs again and his hand came forward as if he were going to touch my thigh, but stopped. Okay it was time to get this over with.

Grabbing the sides of my robe, I made as if I were going to open it and pausing, swallowed hard and forced the words from my mouth.

"Tommy would you like to see my tits?"

"What?" he exclaimed.

Keeping my voice low, more to cover up my nerves than to sound sexy, I pressed on.

"I asked you if you'd like to see my tits?" I pushed myself to wink "All you have to do is ask." I shrugged, "Unless of course, you don't want to, it's up to you."

Tommy was rocking back and forth on his feet faster and I could see him starting to breathe hard. He was beginning to blush as well. His eyes were glued to my chest and he seemed to be struggling to speak.

"Mom." He began softly.

Please say no! I thought desperately, Please, please, please!

Tommy gave me that shy smile I so loved, and said,

"Mom, may I please see your beautiful tits?"

*****

I sat there in the waiting room of the therapist's office, trying hard to focus on the issue of People I was holding. It was no good, I couldn't concentrate. Even if I could the fact that my hands were shaking would make reading difficult anyway. I put the magazine down and tried to force myself to relax. The fact Tommy was in there talking to Doctor Judy as she referred to herself, was a good thing. This was where he belonged, getting help for hi unnatural attraction to me. This was his third visit here and I would have thought I would be more relaxed.

I didn't have to be here, but truth be told I didn't trust Tommy to show up on his own. He was totally embarrassed to be here, and I wasn't even sure if he was even really talking to Judy in there. The first visit she had wanted to speak to both of us about what was going on and I did most of the talking. I admit to being able to understand Tommy's reticence to speak about our situation as I could barely get the words out. It certainly wasn't easy to tell this woman what I had found in Tommy's journal and that my son desired me.

Judy was very soothing and informed us that this was not the first time she had dealt with this and that Oedipus complexes were more common than I would think. She brought up the incest site and pointed out it wouldn't exist if thousands of people weren't going to it because they had that fantasy. She told Tommy that he wasn't a sick individual, but that his love for me was becoming confused, now seeing me the way he would a lover rather than a parent. After asking Tommy several questions and only receiving a shrug for an answer, she had asked to speak with him alone for a few minutes.

In fifteen minutes, she called me in to speak alone and told me Tommy wasn't very responsive and the only thing he really said, was that he was not sure what had brought this on, but once it started he couldn't get it out of his mind. She told me that when point blanked asked if I let him would he have sex with me, he said yes with no hesitation, but added that it was more than sex he wanted to love me as well. At that point I forced myself to quote his journal entry where he had said "The first time we'll fuck fast and hard, then we'll go nice and sweet"

She assured me that this was curable, that it was just a matter of her figuring out how to get him to see it was wrong and to get him to see me as just his mom again. I voiced my concern that I had done something wrong, that maybe I was too affectionate or dressed improperly or had somehow led him on. Judy told me that it wasn't me and not to feel guilty and to do the best I could to keep things normal between Tommy and I while she helped us work through this.

That was easier said than done. To say things were strained between us was an understatement. Although I told myself Judy was right and to act normally, after all Tommy was my son and I loved him dearly, I was having a hard time. Whenever I would see him looking at me, I would feel self-conscious and several times started to blush. Once Tommy saw I'd seen him looking he would turn away and leave the room.

The hugs and kisses on the cheeks I used to give him all the time had become few and far between. I tried, but when I hugged him, I was tense and knew he could feel it. Once I held him longer, trying to relax and he had put his head on my shoulder. As had happened that Friday night, I felt his lips on my neck and without meaning to had jerked away from him. Tommy had looked as if he were going to cry and stormed into his room. I had also changed the way I dressed. Around the house all I was wearing was loose fitting sweat pants and baggy t-shirts. I know Tommy noticed and was sure it made him feel worse, but I was no longer comfortable showing my legs or wearing anything tight.

Judy had encouraged us to talk about it, but we couldn't. In fact we hadn't discussed it since the night I had read his journal and after losing my cool and yelling at him when he had asked to see my tits, all I could get from him was he just wanted to love me, really love me as he put it. I told him he needed help and he started to cry. I wanted to hold him, but was afraid to and had sat there in tears myself. Judy was someone who was referred to me through a friend and I had gotten in to see her three days after I had found out about Tommy's feelings for me. Fact was, I was not upset we weren't discussing it, I had no clue what to say and figured I would only make things worse.

Well a couple of nights ago things had gotten worse, much worse. Monday night I dreamed I slept with Tommy. No, let's be honest, I'd dreamt of my son fucking me. In the dream he had woken me by slipping into my bed and immediately started kissing me, I tried to push him away, but his hand was caressing my tit and I succumbed to his touch. The dream had been as hardcore as any of those sick movies. Tommy going down on me and me screaming as I came, me on my knees sucking his cock and taking every drop, the two of us fucking in every position. When I awoke sweating, my heart pounding I was appalled to discover I was wet.

I lay awake for hours, totally disgusted. I finally told myself it meant nothing. Tommy's attraction to me had been the focus of my thoughts for three weeks, so it was bound to affect me. Still I didn't like the vividness of the dream or how worked up I was when I woke up. That morning all Tommy did was walk into the kitchen and I had blushed furiously. He saw it and after mumbling something about work, almost ran out of the house. Last night "I'd had a similar dream except this time we were in the shower. My legs were around Tommy's waist and my fingernails were digging into his shoulders as he fucked the shit out of me against the wall. Again I'd woke up aroused and was wondering if I should mention this to Judy.

I decided against it. This was a reaction to what was going on and that was it. Once Tommy got better I would forget all about it. I was pulled from my thoughts by the door to Judy's door opening. Tommy came out and looked more nervous than ever. When he approached me, I stood up and asked, "Hey how did it go today?"

Tommy shook his head and I saw he was blushing and seemed flustered.

"What's the matter h....Tommy?"

I caught myself at the last minute. Since this had started, I had stopped calling him honey. I felt bad because I always felt that despite his age Tommy liked it, but now was afraid he liked it too much.

"I..." he shook his head, "Judy wants me to..." he trailed off and looked away from me.

"Wants you to what?"

Tommy pointed back over his shoulder.

"She'll tell you, she wants to talk to you."

I didn't like the sound of that. I started to ask Tommy what she wanted, but he had sat down and with a sigh, put his head in his hands. Turning away, I entered Judy's office and closed the door behind me. Judy, a tall woman with short blond hair that was maybe a couple of years older than me, was sitting behind her desk and looking up waved me over to the seat in front of her desk.

"Come on over Joanne," she said, "Would you like some coffee?"

"No thanks."

I sat down across from her and asked,

"So, any progress?"

Judy sat back and sighed.

"Well on the subject of Tommy's obsession, not at all."

"He's not talking about it still?" I asked disappointed.

"No, in fact he did talk today." Judy nodded.

"Well that's progress." I said hopefully.

"That he's talking yes." She agreed. "But as for what he was saying? Joanne, he is really obsessed with you."

"No shit," I snapped, "That's why we're here."

I felt bad the instant I'd said that, and started to apologize, but she waved me off.

"I know you're upset and you have a right to be." She said quietly. "But there are levels, when I've seen this before I had the feeling it was a passing thing, or not that deep, but Tommy really wants you."

"Have we got to why yet?"

"Honestly Joanne, I think it's tied to you being alone. Tommy wants you to be happy, he wants you to be satisfied, he's mentioned you're far too attractive to be alone."

"And he thinks that he's the answer?" I asked.

"Pretty much, he brought up that you've spoken of your inability to be with another man. He also confessed after I mentioned his journal entry that he knows you masturbate every night."

"Oh, for Christ's sake," I muttered feeling myself turning crimson.

"It's natural Joanne," she laughed. "Anyway, he knows you want it and can't pull the trigger. Tommy wants you happy, but also knows you don't really want to replace his father." She paused and seemed to be trying to choose her words. "Long story short, he wants to take his father's place as being the man who is good to you in every way. Not just sexually, but emotionally as well, he not only desires you, but believes he now loves you in that way."

"Well that can't happen, so what now?"

"Joanne, I think the only way Tommy will get past this is to live out the fantasy, get it out of his system."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Are you telling me to have sex with my son?"

Before I could stop it, the image of Tommy and I naked in my bed appeared in my mind. I quickly shoved it away and started to stand, this was bullshit.

"Easy Joanne," Judy put her hands up. "Of course I'm not saying that."

"You just said you think he needs to act out his fantasy." I said in a calmer tone as I sat back down.

"Key word is fantasy." Judy said, "Joanne, have you ever heard of a sexual surrogate?"

I felt my stomach sink, I'd read about them in a cosmo article once.

"They're women who help people get over sex issues right?" I asked.

"Pretty much. So what we...."

"You want my son to sleep with a total stranger?"

"Joanne, I think this is the only way." Judy began. "I have a woman who is in her late thirties which is enough of an age difference and I'll have her dye her hair red and..."

"Oh my God!" I gasped. "You're going to make her look like me?"

"Right down to green contacts." Judy nodded. "This way..."

I cut her off again.

"Let me get this straight, you want my son to have sex with some whore who's going act like me and let him call her mom?" I shook my head. "First off, it's disgusting, second of all she's not me, so what's the point?"

"The point is that Tommy gets his fantasy." Judy explained. "Yes he knows it's not you and I know he'll be hesitant, but this woman has done this before and..." she looked away from me. "Will be very persuasive."

"I can't believe I'm talking about this." I sighed disgustedly. "Where does this happen?"

"At a hotel. She'll be the aggressor. She will come onto him as his mother." Judy shrugged. "The videos on the site you linked me to were quite explicit, she'll be that way. Ask him if he wants his mother too..."

"I know what he wants." I cut her off.

"If he doesn't cave to that she'll try the sweet approach."

"What if he doesn't respond?" I asked.

Judy smiled.

"Joanne, Tommy is nineteen, a breeze will get him going and this woman is quite attractive, he'll respond."

I sat there feeling like this had to be a dream. Slumping back in my chair, I asked.

"And you think this will cure him?"

"Definitely." Judy said. "Last year I had a similar case with a brother obsessed with his sister, worked perfectly."

"Still don't see how."

"It can work two ways." Judy put her finger up. "One, he starts and after they get hot and heavy Tommy realizes how wrong it really is to speak to his mother that way so to speak and stops. Which will show him he was wrong to feel this way."

"That would be good." I nodded.

"Or, he goes through with it and he fulfills the fantasy, or as close as he knows he can get."

"Tommy was upset when he came out; I take it he doesn't want to?"

"He said she's not you and he won't do it."

"Then it won't...."

"Joanne, it will work. I kept at him to do it even if to prove me wrong."

"What did he say?" I asked.

Judy pointed at me.

"He said he would let you decide. If you say for him too, he will."

I sat back and thought about it. Essentially I was sending my son to sleep with a prostitute. A Prostitute he was going to call mom while she acted like a porn star. The entire time he would be fucking her he would be thinking of me. But Judy seemed to think it would get him over it and I didn't like how awkward we were with each other. Tommy had already lost his father I didn't want him to think he would lose me.

"Okay." I said softly. "Set it up."

Judy nodded.

"I know this isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do." She paused then asked.

"Joanne, what about you? Tommy told me about Jeff, do you want to talk about it sometime with me?"

"No." I shook my head. "I...I'll get over it. I just get nervous that's all."

"You sure?"

"I think so." I told her.

"You're probably right." Judy said. "I bet you'll be fine, it's just a matter of meeting the right man."

"How will I know?" I asked.

"Simple." Judy shrugged, "You won't be nervous."

"You make it sound easy."

"It is." She smiled and picked up her pen. "So when do you want me to set this up for Tommy."

"As soon as possible," I told her. "I want things to get this over with."

"It's the right call Joanne," she smiled confidently. "You'll see this will all work out the way it's meant to."

*****

For what had to be the hundredth time this afternoon, I looked at the clock on the wall. It was five past one and I was a nervous wreck. Tommy's appointment with the surrogate was at noon. He hadn't wanted to go and I'd spent the week telling him he needed to. When he really seemed adamant, I'd resorted to letting my emotions get to me and started to cry. Tommy immediately said he would go and I felt terrible for manipulating him. Part of me was glad he wasn't excited about it, I would imagine most men would be thrilled. Then again most men didn't think they were in love with their mother.

Tommy had left at eleven thirty, and I had been a ball of nerves ever since. The thought of this strange woman fucking my son did not appeal to me, let alone she was supposed to be me. My nerves were even more on edge because I'd dreamt of Tommy again last night, but this time it was slow and sweet. Once more I'd woken wet with my nipples so hard they were aching. Despite my bodies need to be taken care of I refused to play with myself after dreaming of my son having sex with me.

While sitting on the couch waiting for him to come home, I'd decided that as soon as Tommy was over this those dreams would stop. If by some chance they didn't it would be my turn to talk to Judy. Trying to keep my mood light I wondered if I di if her solution would be to hook me up with some hot twenty year old. My mood soured as I started to envision it and then figured all I would do is get nervous and stop.

I jumped at the sound of Tommy's car pulling into the driveway. Another look at the clock showed it was only one fifteen. The hotel was a good twenty minute ride. Had it been over that quickly? Well he was young after all. I had been lying on the couch, dressed as always lately in loose fitting jeans and an old t-shirt, but sat up when I hear Tommy putting his key in the door. He entered and walking quickly into the living room, started to walk past me without saying anything.

"Hey!" I called out.

Tommy stopped and I saw his shoulders slump. Still with his back to me he asked softly, "Yes, Mom?"

"Come over here and sit down." When he turned around I patted the couch next to me. "I want to talk to you."

Tommy sighed and came over and sat down. I felt bad when I noticed that he sat as far from me as possible on the couch. Tapping the cushion next to me I said, "Come closer Tommy, its okay."

He nodded and slid over and I gave him a reassuring smile. He replied with a forced one ad I took a moment to look him over. He was wearing a white collared shirt that looked good against his deep tan. His thick black hair had been slicked back; he'd shaved, showing off his pretty features and of course there were those beautiful eyes that were so much like my own. I wondered what the surrogate had thought. To me it seemed she had gotten paid in more ways than one today. Tommy was sitting there looking down and realizing he wasn't going to volunteer bit the bullet.

"So how did it go?"

He looked up at me and shook his head.

"It didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"What I said," he shrugged. "It didn't happen."

"She didn't show?" I asked.

"Yeah Mom, she did."

"So what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

He started to get up, but I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I do Tommy, we've avoided talking about this for weeks, so what happened?"

Tommy looked at my hand on his shoulder and I moved it. But instead of pulling it away, I, as I always used to, placed it against his cheek.

"Please talk to me honey."

Tommy looked as if he were going to move, then leaned into my cheek. I could see by his expression he was torn. He looked as if he was thrilled that I was again being affectionate with him, but there was a look of sadness as well. No, not sadness; longing. I held my hand there a moment longer, then slowly moved it. Tommy sighed and began to speak.

"I got there a little early and she was already there. She had her hair up and was wearing a robe. She told me to sit on the bed."

He stopped and I prodded.

"And?"

"She walked over to me and...." He looked away, "She let her hair down and it looked just like yours. She opened the robe and she was wearing a little red nightie."

He went silent again, but I let him go as I could see he was going to continue, but was having a hard time.

"She sat next to me and when I looked at her, I could see she had the same color eyes we do and I figured they were fake, she was just trying to look like you."

"Did she?"

"Yeah, pretty close." He shrugged. "Her legs weren't as long and she had...." He looked away again, "A big chest."

"I'd trade a little leg for that," I forced a laugh, trying to relax him.

"Mom, you're perfect just the way you are." He said softly.

He was looking into my eyes as he said it and I could see he meant it. I could also see that this was not over yet. He was looking at me like a teenager with a crush, which I supposed was what he was.

"Anyway," he broke his own awkward silence. "She starts talking to me like she's you. She says "So Tommy you think your mom looks good today?"

He shook his head.

"I didn't answer her and she kept going, asking if I wanted to show my mom how much I wanted her. She....started rubbing my leg and..." he began to look more nervous. "She kissed my neck, then asked if I wanted to give my mom a kiss."

Oh, boy I thought, how much of this did I want to hear?

"Did you?" I pushed myself to ask, after all I had told him to talk about it.

"I...yes." He nodded. "Well she kissed me and I started kissing her back. We ummmm, we made out for a few minutes and she was touching me and kissing me and kept asking me what I wanted my mom to do. She asked I wanted to see her tits and I..." he blushed. "Said yes, I'd love to see my mom's tits."

This was getting to where I was going to ask him to fast forward, but the again he'd said it didn't happen.

"She took her top off and pulled my shirt off." He was speaking slowly and softly. "She grabbed...down there." He looked away again. "Then she started kissing me and saying how much she wanted her son, she started to get on her knees..."

"Okay Tommy," I cut in. "I..."

"That's when I stopped her."

"You stopped her?"

"Yes."

I felt a sense of relief until I realized that meant the problem was still going to be there. Judy had been so sure, now what? Tommy kept speaking.

"She started kissing me again and kept saying 'Don't you want your mom to be good to you?' I told her I was done. No offense because she was pretty sexy and part of me wanted to just to do it, but...." He trailed off.

"But what?"

"She wasn't you Mom." He said. "It's more than red hair and pretty eyes and saying 'Mom'."

Reaching out he out his hand on my knee and said softly, "You're the only woman I want Mom."

I looked down at his hand on my knee. Considering the present situation it was not exactly the most appropriate place, but he was already upset. Wanting to comfort him, I put my hand over his. Tommy started to move his hand, but I squeezed it and held it there.

"Tommy, I'm not mad at you." I said softly. "But this is wrong and I guess I was wrong for not trying to talk to you about this. I can't imagine why you would want me that way."

"I don't know what started it Mom." He began. "All of sudden I started seeing you as a woman and not just my mother. You're beautiful, you're sweet, you're loving." He paused and finished in a barely audible whisper, "You're sexy."

"But I'm your mother." Was all I could come up with.

"I know, but you're also a single woman who needs a man to be good to you and you're having problems." He shrugged. "I...part of me is glad you are because I want to be the one to be good to you." Surprisingly he looked me in the eye when he finished. "I want to love you in every way."

He turned his hand beneath mine and wrapped his fingers around it so we were now holding hands. Again I refrained from moving, so he would keep talking.

"Okay Tommy," I nodded. "You keep saying love. Well honey, those videos you've been watching? What those women are doing isn't love it's hardcore sex and that's not how you should be thinking of me."

"Well its..." He started, but I kept going.

"Tommy, nothing in you should want to see me on my knees for you."

I held his gaze as I spoke, hoping being direct would get through to him. He blushed, but didn't look away. In fact when next he spoke he sounded more confident and less nervous than before. "But when you love someone you want to make them feel good. I want to make you feel good Mom, and I want you to make me feel good too." He then completely caught me off guard. "Or do you just think about sweet things when you....take care of yourself."

I felt myself begin to blush.

"Tommy, that's none of your business and you shouldn't be bringing that up."

Tommy gave me a tight smile.

"That's not an answer Mom." His smile changed to that little shy one that I adored, but his words belied that shyness. "Come on Mom, you know you want to have fun. You're a sexy woman in her prime, you know you need it."

"Tommy!" I exclaimed. "You don't...."

I stopped as he had leaned closer to me and whispered, "Please Mom? Please at least let me try."

I sat there speechless as he slid closer until our hips were touching. Still holding my hand, he brought the other up and gently laid it along the side of my head. His gorgeous eyes were staring into mine and I felt my heart begin to pound. I became aware of his hand sliding around to the back of my head and under my hair.

"What are you...." I trailed off as he leaned closer, his head cocked and his lips parted as if he were going to...

Tommy kissed me.

I started to pull back, but he held the back of my head, not roughly, but enough to keep my head from moving. My lips remained still as he kissed me softly. Removing his lips from mine, he said, "Please?"

Too stunned to respond, I just sat there. Tommy saw this as a chance and kissed me again, and harder. I gasped into his lips as they pressed into mine. He began to move them, softly sliding them across my immobile lips. His first kiss turned into another and I had just started to try to pull away when I felt his hand slide up my side and start to grab my tit. I flinched back and pushed him away from me.

"Tommy enough! You don't touch me like that!"

He looked at me stunned. He was breathing hard as was I and he seemed confused.

"But...you were letting me...."

"No, I wasn't!" I snapped. "I just couldn't believe you were doing that!"

"Mom I..."

"Tommy you need to get this shit out of your head, understand? I'm your mother not your lover. What's wrong with you?"

"I..." Tommy looked heartbroken and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. "I love you Mom, I just want to be good to you."

"Well you can't be, not like that." I said firmly. "I'll call Judy and tell her you're going back to see her this week, enough is enough."

Tommy nodded and as tears ran down his cheeks, whispered, "I'm sorry Mom! I just can't help it."

He let out a sob and getting up ran down the hallway and into his room. I let out a deep breath and rubbed at my eyes, wondering what the hell had just happened.

*****

I sat on the bed with my head in my hands, wishing it would stop spinning. The scene on the couch had left me feeling awful. I should have let it be and just called Judy. I had somehow given Tommy a sign that he could try and he did. I had sat there and not reacted right away which had made it worse and then I had yelled at him. It had broken my heart to see him upset, but what should I have done.

I waited awhile and had knocked on his door, but he didn't answer. I remained outside his room and could hear him crying. I had then come in here and sat down and cried myself. I had no idea what to do. Tommy was in distraught and it was because he desired me. I looked up and glanced at my phone on the night stand. I should call Jud make another appointment. Then again why?

Judy had been sure the surrogate would work. That it would get it out of his system. Well it hadn't, all it had done was make him want me that much more, so much more he had made a move on me. This was not going to go away. How could I help him? As I thought back on everything Judy had said, I recalled her saying that sometimes with the surrogates when someone like Tommy got far enough into it, they realized how bad it was.

Based on what had happened on the couch that didn't seem to be right either. Then again, I had freaked out as soon as his hand reached my tit, what if I had let him go further? Would he have stopped? Tommy had also made the move. What if I was to approach him and do so fairly aggressively? Would it maybe shock him out of it? I was willing to try anything to help, but that could make it worse. What if I came onto him and he was fine with it? I would then stop and that would make it even worse. At that point I would be nothing short of a cock tease.

We couldn't go on like this and I wouldn't. Tommy was everything to me and I needed us to be okay together. Judy had insisted the only way to get him over this was to give him his fantasy. The surrogate was supposed to do that, but Tommy wanted the real thing. There would be no sense in trying that again. As I thought this through my gaze idly wandered the room and stopped when I saw my red robe on the chair in the corner. Tommy had mentioned it in his journal. He thought of me in it. I had also been wearing it the first time I'd dreamt of him in my bed.

I narrowed my eyes and lingered on that thought. Had I been having those dreams because deep down I knew that was the only thing that would help him? I felt my heart start to pound again, was I really thinking of sleeping with my own son? I couldn't so it. But by the same token, wasn't that what a good mother would do? Sacrifice for her son? Do anything in her power to help? Standing up I walked over to the robe and picked it up. Taking it with me, I left the bedroom and entering the bathroom turned on the shower. Getting in and letting the hot water hit the tense muscles in my back, I closed my eyes and prepared myself, to do the unthinkable, seduce my son.

*****

I stood in front of Tommy's door and raised my hand to knock. I quickly brought my hand back down and started to turn away. I caught myself and faced his door again. I had been standing here for the last ten minutes, trying to get up the nerve to enter his room. I was wearing just the red robe. I had thought about lingerie, but decided to go with simple; I was bare foot, with nothing on underneath the robe. I wasn't wearing make-up and once I'd dried my hair, left it down.

I took a deep breath and prepared to try to knock again. This was it, the point of no return, once I walked into his room dressed like this only two things could happen. One, he could lose his nerve-which is what I hoped- and all this would be over with, or I would end up fucking my son. Before I could lose my nerve again, I brought my hand up and knocked. There was no answer and I did it again, but much harder.

"Tommy?" I called through the door.

"I don't want to talk anymore." He called out.

"Tommy I need to talk to you, so come unlock the door."

"It's unlocked."

Rolling my eyes and feeling like an idiot I turned the knob to find that indeed he had not locked me out. Okay, here we go. I entered the room and saw Tommy sitting on the side of his bed, facing away from me. The light was off, but he had lit several candles. That was another trait he had gotten from me, he loved to lie there and watch the candles flicker until he fell asleep. He didn't turn around as I closed the door and I slowly walked around to his side of the bed. I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt and paused to look at his back. Tommy worked out at a local gym and it showed in his arms and shoulders. He really was a damn good looking kid; he should still be with Lisa, not dreaming of me.

I came around to stand next to him and noticed he was looking to his right and hadn't seen me yet.

"Hey honey," I said softly, "Want some company?"

I really don't want to talk Mom," Tommy began, turning towards me, "I..."

He stopped in mid sentence and his jaw dropped. The robe barely covered my ass and left my legs exposed to my upper thigh. I stood there, trying not to look self conscious as I watched his eyes make their way up and down my legs.

"Oh, shit." He whispered.

"Yeah honey? You like my robe?"

I spoke slowly, keeping my voice low and trying to sound seductive.

"I...I do." He managed to get out while his eyes remained locked on my smooth white thighs.

"What else do you like?" I asked.

"Ummm," Tommy tore his gaze from my legs and looked up at me. "I... don't think I should say..."

You like my legs don't you honey?"

I lifted my right leg and put my foot on the bed next to him. The movement caused the robe to fall away exposing my inner thigh. I kept my hand between my legs to had the robe in place, I was not quite ready to flash him my pussy. Hopefully I wouldn't have to.

"Mom," he was turning redder by the minute, "What are you doing?"

"Just answer me," I prodded him, "Do you like them?"

I brought my other hand over and placing it on my thigh began trailing my long red nails along my soft skin and asked, "You like how those nails look?"

"Y...yes."

"But you like how my thigh looks better though don't you?"

Tommy's leg was shaking back and forth nervously and after a pause he whispered, "Oh, yeah."

"Well show me then." I gave him an enticing smile, "Show your Mom how much you like her legs."

Tommy licked his lips and stared at me. I cocked my head, and gave him another smile. "Go ahead honey, you know you want to."

He let out a deep breath and reached for my leg. He stopped with his fingers inches from my calf and looked up at me, as if waiting for me to take it away. Reaching down, I grabbed his wrist and lifting his hand placed it on my thigh. He gasped and I could feel his fingers trembling. Holding my hand over his, I slid it up and down my lower thigh. Tommy's eyes were wide, not believing that he was touching me and that made two of us, but I continued to help him caress my thigh. I brought his hand up towards the top of my inner thigh and let it go.

Tommy started at his hand, then slowly started running his fingertips along my soft skin.

"That feels nice." I said quietly, I caught myself thinking that it really did. His fingers were barely touching me and I felt a shiver go through me as they went further up my thigh.

"There you go honey," I encouraged him, "Go as far as you like."

Tommy placed his palm against my flesh and started rubbing harder, I closed my eyes, unable to watch as his hand began working its way toward my pussy. My heart began to pound as I felt the edge of his hand reach the crease of my thigh. He was inches from my pussy and I started to let the robe go, when he jerked his hand away from me. I opened my eyes to see him staring first at his hand then at me.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Mom what are you doing?" he shook his head, "You...you just yelled at me for trying to kiss you and now you're standing here looking...." He sighed, "Amazing I don't...."

"I want to let you...." I started, but he cut me off."

"Please don't tease me Mom, I...I can't take it."

Tommy had said that last part in a tone that was close to a whimper and put his head in his hands. My heart went out to him, but at the same time I felt myself begin to hope that he really couldn't do this. Sitting down next to him, I put my hand on his bare shoulder. Tommy looked up at me and I said quietly.