zigginah

Tear-stained cheeks, my mascara was now an ugly smudge after being ruined with all the crying I had been doing for the past hour. I could not recognize myself as I looked through the mirror. The more I stared at myself the more the tears. I could hear them in the next room. Their moans enraged me and made me feel like throwing up. I retched but nothing came out. 

Disgust is what I felt.


My life had turned out to be a chaotic mess and I wondered what I had done to deserve all that. I was a good person or so I believed.

I smiled through the pain and thought to myself that everything was going to be okay. I did not believe that myself but I had to tell myself to keep going or I would be stuck in a loop with my past trying to set myself free...

DAWN.

I'm fucked up honestly. I know I shouldn't have dissapeared like that but that's who I am. I dissapear once in a while to cool off . I've never really had someone who would be worried if I dissapeared for a while.

Am currently sleeping on the couch ... She locked me out .

All my thoughts then get back to me remembering my sick mum at the hospital . I really don't know what to do even after dissapearing  . I don't think there is really someone who can be okay when the choice of her mother living depends on them.

I glance at the clock and it's almost  six and  Ella is about to be up she wakes up really early.Just then our bedroom door opens  and she exits.

"Morning too",she says as she makes her way to the kitchen.

"How was your night baby?"I ask her as I go to the kitchen.

"Was good how about yours?"she asks glancing at me.

40.Am here to stay