zigginah

Tear-stained cheeks, my mascara was now an ugly smudge after being ruined with all the crying I had been doing for the past hour. I could not recognize myself as I looked through the mirror. The more I stared at myself the more the tears. I could hear them in the next room. Their moans enraged me and made me feel like throwing up. I retched but nothing came out. 

Disgust is what I felt.


My life had turned out to be a chaotic mess and I wondered what I had done to deserve all that. I was a good person or so I believed.

I smiled through the pain and thought to myself that everything was going to be okay. I did not believe that myself but I had to tell myself to keep going or I would be stuck in a loop with my past trying to set myself free...

DAWN.

The thing with toxic relationships was that it was hard for someone to leave. One day you will be having the best day of your life and the next day you just hope that you never met them in the first place. You cry most of the time. You refuse to leave the relationship knowing damn well its what's good for you.

What was so hard ? Why would someone just leave the relationship the moment they realized it was not good for them . Was it really worth crying each day before sleeping.

The feeling that you can not leave without them. It just got more toxic every day that they did something wrong and you still forgave them. It was like they were the only person who could make you happy. Life lost meaning when you were not with them. Each time things got worse you always hoped they would get better because you were once happy without them and you think maybe they will go back to how they used to be.

ALL ME