Is it really a good day?
Michelle POV
I really had a good night sleep and I can't feel more better than this one but it's different because I didn't and it's a shit worrying of that guy who I think our revenge will really went well which it really failed to the edge we feel guilty for what happened. I thought they were just joking and we just did that to let out our anger. I hope the three are just fine right now because for my situation as of this moment I'm not even have the rights to be happy at all and I felt sorry for myself.
I know we shouldn't take revenge to whatever they did to us but my moral or principle is way out of this and I couldn't think straight when I'm full of emotion and I can set my mind. Once, I really feel mad and there is this moment I really want to do something back which make me think if I will do it or not.
"Michelle, are you awake now?" alexis entered my room without knocking but I won't get mad at her maybe she has a reason to do it
"Yes, I am and I think you want to tell something" I said which I want to know
"Nothing, breakfast is ready at the dining room since I cooked for it and I can't seem to find where jamie and lovely is because when I went to their room, the two of them nowhere to be found" she said and explain it to me
Did they go somewhere this early? Well we still have class and it's only 6 in the morning yet they went out without telling anyone in this house?
"How about grandma ami? Does she know where the two went?" I asked
"I don't know because I didn't ask her yet and I think the two are still bothered about yesterday" she finally said it which I've been waiting for
"How about you alexis? Are you still bothered by it?" I said and look into her eyes because she hates this kind of question at all
"Well, no of course and why would I? Whatever you saw yesterday, I just got carried away and don't mind me. I reacted easily without knowing that we did that because we want them to know never mess with us and it's warning" she said and sometimes I'm really talking to a different person. Yesterday, she really feel worried which she just hold the hands of charles until we arrive at the hospital like I see the way she cherish someone especially her mom
"Nothing and I don't have anything else say to you. You know what, why do I always feel like I'm talking to someone else?" I said then she just laughed which creeps me out of hell
"Maybe you are or maybe not" she said and I think this is serious situation
"Are you serious with that alexis?" I said
"Do I look joking to you?" she said seriously which made me avoid eye contact with her then she slap my shoulder
"I'm just kidding and don't take it seriously" alexis said which I don't get her. She's totally different now.
Should I take her to psychiatrist? Or she might get offended if I ask that one and she might think I doubting her with the thinking I have right now.
"Do you think that I'm crazy?" alexis is really weird today and I don't understand her at all
"Alexis, are you alright?" I asked which I'm bit scared the way she act right now
"I'm asking you a question michelle. The way you look at me like you think I'm a crazy person and trying to take me to a psychiatrist, isn't it?" she asked and I'm really worried at her
"No, I'm just worried about you and you're acting strange" I said and don't want to make this situation worse which I just hugged her then she laugh out loud
"I'm just kidding and I'm not crazy okay? I don't want to feel stress at all and that's it. You think too much and you don't need to worry about something. I'm fine and see I'm healthy" she said but still she makes me feel worry all the time
"We should eat breakfast now or else the food might get cold" she hugged me back then we went downstairs and I saw the two girls wearing some outfits. Did they do jogging around the subdivision?
"Morning you two" jamie said and she seems calm
"Morning my two babies" lovely added and she is smiling. Like these two don't even remember what happened yesterday and they just seem fine. Why am I so worried about nothing?
"Oh grandma, where have you been? I've been looking for you this early morning" jamie said
"I just went to the market to buy some ingredients" she said
"Am I the only one who feels worried about nothing?" I said out loud which make grandma ami a bit confused
"Is there something wrong that I should at least know what happen to you girls?" grandma ami asked then the three trying to do ask for help not tell her but I can't lie and they know about it. But this time, maybe I can
"I'm worried about our next concert grandma ami and you still don't have any compose song to sing" I lied even it's hard for me to say it
"Grandma ami, we just need to settle something and talk about it later. Can we just eat please because I'm really hungry now" jamie said
We're about to eat when my phone ring then I step out for a bit to answer it because it's kind of rude in front of an elder answering a phone call.
"Hello, may I know who this is?"
"It's me sweetie, your dad" oh it's my dad and I don't know what to say to him
"What is it?"
"I just want know how you are and how's school?" – dad
"Dad, don't bother and since when did you start to be concern about my life?"
"Sweetie, I'm always concern about you and I'm just busy" – dad
"Here we go again with your excuses. Maybe you're just busy with your secretary"
"MICHELLE!" – dad
"Now you're shouting at me"
"No, sweetie and that's not it. It's not what you think" – dad
"Yes it is, as if I don't know and don't treat me like an idiot not to see that"
"You won't even believe to whatever I say" – dad
"Yes, I don't and stop calling me or else I'll block this number if you ever tried to call me again"
"Just want to say that I miss you sweetie and I'll visit you so..." I just end the call because I don't want to hear any words from him and I just feel annoy with his excuses. I went back inside and saw them eating while grandma ami is saying a lot of things
"Sorry about that, it's a wrong number" I said
"Is it really a wrong number? When it took like 5 minutes for you to talk to whoever that person is" alexis said
"Well, there are a lot of unknown number is calling me" I added
"Okay, you should eat now" she said which I already lost my appetite
"I'm not hungry anymore and I'll just my clothes since we have class today" I said and went upstairs to prepare for class today. My phone vibrate then I have 1 message from unknown number which I try to read it
"Sweetie, I hope you let me explain once we meet that you got the wrong idea and I'm sorry if you think looking for excuses but I'm not. I don't know If you really find any misunderstanding, let me make it up to you and I really want to spend time to you and I'm trying my best to give my time to you. I know you're reading this even you ended the call when I'm still talking but I won't get mad because you know that daddy can get mad at you even you end up having mistakes in life because I want to understand and know your problem at all. At least give me a chance to clarify it to you and I'll meet you soon sweetie. I love you – daddy"
I just turn off my phone and I don't know what to do about it. I can't really talk to him for what I saw
Oh please, help me to decide and I hope this help my life feel at ease. I'm a type of person who can never forgive someone easily because my trust is already broken and it's hard to earn it back again. I became cold and heartless towards my dad. I know he's my dad, but it doesn't I should always be fill by his excuses and needs. There's this part of me which I can't hate him but I'm mad for feeling that way. I don't know and I'm not yet ready to listen to whatever he says now.
I try my very best to understand everything but sometimes I'm really lost and nowhere to go because I having full of doubts and hatred which a toxic trait I have. Michelle, think other things and maybe forget those situation that made your life upside down then try to calm. Now I'm talking to myself which I'm too crazy to do that now. I don't know anymore, maybe I'll just fix what to wear and what bag to use so that I won't think other things now.
*****************
Jamie POV
What just happened there? Like michelle just storm out at the dining room and she went upstairs. Now it's already 7:45am and yet she is still not here in the garage wherein we been waiting for her for almost 1 hour. We don't know what just happened because as she went back inside the house and she looks gloomy. Did alexis scare her that much? Or maybe she had something that would make her feel weird towards on that situation they had. It's my first time seeing michelle act like that and maybe she has a problem. Should I ask her about it? Maybe go to her room. No, I might disturb her and I'll just wait until she tells us about it. I'm just worried about her and this is related to the phone call awhile ago. But she didn't even tell us who called her
"What's going on back there?" lovely said
"Tell me girls, did you just see what just happened to michelle back there?" alexis said
"Did you see what just michelle did? I mean, I'm not mad it's just that... you know first time she walked out without eating and when upstairs" lovely is right and we never seen her like that. But she is so quiet and we're not used to it
"Alexis, did you do something wrong?"
"Well, not that much I guess"
"What do you mean not that much? So you mean, you act like a different person in front of her when you intended to make her feel worry. Is that it? Are you nuts alexis? You know how michelle will react quickly if you hadn't act that strange or weird. Did you make her feel anxious?" lovely said
Wait, why don't I even know that they had made this all up just to scare michelle? Am I too slow to understand what they're talking about? Or is just me who couldn't cope up in everything they say to each other because I would definitely going to hate myself if I'm late of knowing something
"Would you please let me talk, okay? Stop provoking me like that or else I'll kill you" alexis said
"I'm not provoking you alexis, I'm just stating some facts that you should have known from yourself" here we go and they never stop arguing as if it won't last
"Do you even know me lovely? As if you talk that way, you really know my whole life? But you, don't even understand a single word of knowing who you're talking to" alexis said
"Look who's talking, I know myself better than anyone else and stop making feel like I'm no one" lovely seems to be intense right now and couldn't even say any other things to alexis
"That's why stop provoking me or you'll regret it"
"Do you think I'm provoking you? There's a big difference of provoking and stating a fact alexis. I think you should go find some wise words before you say anything" I don't like this one and it's kind of offensive
"What did you just say? Look who's talking and why don't you tell it to yourself when you couldn't even answer a damn simple question yet you have to change the topic all over again" alexis said
"I think finding some wise words isn't a thing but constructing your own words won't make you feel like intelligent at all without the main content of your saying. So you mean, yourself can't even compose what to say next when I have to say some words which you hard to find to give a damn answer. Now tell me lovely, what make you feel special provoking me like this when you're such a spoiled brat who don't know anything about having intelligence and simple math question which you can't even answer without using a calculator" alexis is really intimidating and I don't have anything to say right now
"Wait a minute, how come this all went to intelligence and math questions?"
"See, you don't give answer to any question that been asked"
"Hello, excuse me alexis. There's no even a question here, it doesn't make sense at all. So how can I answer it if there is no question at all? Are you an idiot or what?" lovely said
"Stop it! Would you two please shut your damn mouth or maybe zip it! Because I've had enough of two doing this when everytime you argue as if it's like a nonstop argument. Where did your sense of humor go?! Like hello, it's already 2021 and you two still fight like this! Come on, I'm sick and tired of you two arguing all the time and can you two just stop provoking each other! As if you can gain something here! Okay you two should make it up now!" I said and they just laughed at me like I'm a joke to them
"Wow, jamie. I'm very impressed to what you say" alexis said
"This is my first time seeing you get mad at us and we did this on purpose because you seem to be bothered by something. Are you intimated by us?" lovely said and she just laughed which make me feel annoyed. How come she have to say that when I'm really worried
"I'm here and sorry it took me long to go downstairs since my cousin just call me and we still have time to go to class today since it starts at 9am. Maybe we should go now or else will get late" michelle said and I just start the car even I'm still annoyed by these two but they just do a peace sign which I just smirk.
"You know what michelle, we're going to be late because of you" lovely said
"Lovely, stop blaming michelle" I said
"Now, you're on one side my dear jamie. I'm just telling the truth, so what's wrong about it?" she said and the audacity
"Do you really have to say that?" I asked her then she just rolled her eyes which I hate it and she is really an immature girl. I look at the mirror then saw michelle and she is just listening a music. I think something happened to her and I swear the person who called her is related to this but I don't want to ask because she might want to keep it to herself before she could tell us
"Isn't michelle and alexis hate being late in class? So what now? We're late" lovely said
"Would just shut up lovely and don't blame anyone. We still have time and I know you're just saying that because of your laziness" alexis defended michelle and I don't know where this is going but I don't want these two make it as a big deal because they already make me feel worried even it was just fake
"Jamie, do you think something happened to michelle awhile ago? Because she seems irritated as she went back inside. I feel like her dad called this morning and remember when her dad called which she really smashed her phone and bought new one. I guess that's what really happened today" alexis explained and I guess she right because I can't still figure out if michelle is lying or not
"But her phone is still fine, or maybe she doesn't want to do it because grandma ami is there with us which she doesn't want to make any scene at all" I said
"You two, don't leave hanging here and I can't even talk to michelle because she is too quiet which I'm not used to it" lovely said then alexis didn't respond just look at the side and I focus on driving
"So this is what you're going to do now, ignore me when I'm talking to you two. Okay fine, be it!" now she is mad. When will she behave like a normal girl? She is not crazy but has a rude attitude that's why alexis hates talking to lovely
I think is really not our good day and this is what you called karma? I just realized why I even cried yesterday or maybe I'm not myself. Now I feel worried and I hope he's fine. Come to your senses jamie, this is not the time for you think about it and enjoy your day because you won't be seeing them today and it's a good day to start
We finally arrived at the school, and then I park the car and get our things at the trunk which I only bring small bag with 2 notebooks and Tons of ballpen to be used. Michelle is still quiet while lovely is not in the mood to talk to us since we ignore her then alexis is busy with her phone. There is me, walking with them and straight to the room. What a good day and no sign of those four boys. This must be the most happiest day I could ever had in this school and for the first time no one is bothering us. Not like the usual days, when someone is going throw paper at you, stick a note at your back, put trash on your bag and bully you all the time. I don't want to think about it anymore
"What are we going to eat later?" I asked and they didn't even answer me
"So okay, jamie you're on your way and don't let eat bother you" I'm talking to myself now and the three of them just ignored me. Our first class is social studies and it's Mr. Brick which he is very strict with his attendance and time. Well, we still have 30 minutes left before his class start
"So girls, I was saying that..." when someone bumped and she is holding a coffee which she spilled it on my head. That made my clothes smells coffee and dirty. Is that even necessary?
"Jamie, are you alright?" michelle said
"What the hell is your problem girl?"
"Are you blind or what?" alexis is about to slap this girl but I just stop her so that she won't make any trouble today. Some of students are staring at me right now when alexis just cover me with her jacket since my clothes are see through
"Ooppss. Sorry my bad and my hands are a bit slippery" she said and she is about to leave but lovely just trip her and she fell. So I take it back, today is really not a good day for me and I think I need to change clothes. I was about to cry but I try to hold it back or else they mock me for being a nerd if that happens
"I think you're barking the wrong tree girl" then lovely walk closely to that girl and she whisper something which made her shock
"Let's go and don't mind this kind of person who only seeks for attention. It's a bit waste of energy and precious time to talk to her. She's not even worth of our time" lovely said and help me.
"What a poor girl"
"That Candice is really annoying"
"How could she even do that to jamie?"
"I'm going to pull that hair of Candice for doing that to jamie"
"Lovely is really cool and I like it"
We just went to the bathroom and I don't want to go to the first class today looking like this and it's kind of embarrassing because they just might make fun of me and I don't like it. I've been bully when I was in primary school and it really made me had trauma. I don't want to remember it anymore and think about myself today because where can I find other clothes and I'm not sure if I have one in my locker. This is not the happiest day and I think this is not yet over.
******************
Lovely POV
Jamie seems to be shock on what that bitch did to her and I don't know what's her problem which she just suddenly spilled a coffee on the head of jamie. At least I did something that would make her realized what she did because she is messing with the wrong person at all. Now we don't have any excuses to say to Mr. Brick since we didn't attend class because we are concerned about jamie who been embarrassed in front of the students around the campus.
Some of them are laughing which I think they're crazy and some are really concern. I'm not really having a good day and I really hate getting into troubles wherein I'm trying to behave myself so that I won't get caught or else michelle will definitely going to tell my mom about it. Is this karma for us? I mean, we didn't even do anything wrong and I guess this day just hate us for being nice to everyone. Michelle went to the room to get the clothes of jamie in her locker if there is because if none, she could just borrow mine since we have the same size body portion.
"Alexis, what are you thinking? You're not into yourself again and it seems to me you want to kill that girl who did this to jamie" I said because her aura is different and she's been smirking after what happened there. Don't tell me, she got disorder and I still remember what she did back then when she almost really killed someone but she's out of fault because we really have evidence that will prove the innocence of alexis
"Alexis, would you stop that? Because you're giving goosebumps and I don't know if you have bipolar disorder or what?" I couldn't say anything or else unless she gets offended and she might not talk to me again and I hate that when it happens because it literally made me cry
"Why would I? Who the hell are you? Should I need to listen to you? You're not even my mother to shut my mouth. You bitch!" alexis said which made me shock same goes to jamie
"Wow, what's going on with me today?"
"Alexis, are you alright?" I asked
"Don't touch me okay and we're not that close girl. If I were you, stay away from me. I might hurt you if that happens" she said and it really made me scared
"Alexis, what's gotten into you?" jamie said
"None of your business" alexis said
"Is that necessary for you to say that to me?" now, this is getting worse and alexis is really rude
"Okay calm and alexis stop that. You're a bit rude and mind your words. I don't like it either the way you talk to us"
"Who cares? As if, I know you two hate me since you met me because you thought I'm a bully when I'm the one who got bullied and none of you three believe me and even my words got flop by those nonsense shit rumor been spread around the school. Now tell me, because I can see that you're scared of me. I guess you will even hate me more if I do this" she's way out of herself
"Alexis!" I shouted
"What do you want? Being spoiled by your parents and I wonder how can you become successful if you always get spoiled. Is that what you want to hear from me, ha lovely? By the way, it's alesha not alexis because that's my twin" that made me confuse
"What do you mean by that?"
"Alexis, it's us. What are you talking about? You only had one sibling and it's Abegail"
"I think she have some major problem controlling herself" I said and I think I'm right about that
"Maybe you lovely, you have a major damage on your brain and can you please elaborate what you're saying because your explanation is a bit stupid and no one will definitely going to understand you. How could my twin alexis be friends with you? I think you feel pity because she has no friends at all and I guess she didn't tell you one thing that she been keeping it to herself" I don't know who we are talking to but this is really getting into my nerves right now
"This is how you treat my twin and you knew for the fact that your cousin alice bullied here. Isn't it lovely?" I don't really understand what she is saying to the point I want to hit her head
"Then ask your cousin about it, because she is insecure of me and I don't know that alice is full of lies and you wouldn't believe what she did to me and alexis in the middle school when all of you are so busy with the project and that is the time alice took the time to bully my twin when I'm no longer around by her side. That is why I've been protecting my twin this way" she said and this alesha is a war freak
"I can see in your faces that you already hate her and once she's back to herself, probably you won't even recognize who you talking with. Okay adios nerds!" how harsh she can be and I can't really understand what's happening right now. This situation is really out of hand and I feel awkward between us three and michelle is not here yet. What does she mean by that?
"Don't you think alexis is really acting strange right now?" jamie said
"Alexis?"
She is not responding at all and wait, twin? Since when they she had a twin and all we just remember Abigail is the sibling she had. Now, what just happened? I need to process it because my thoughts are really messy and her twin name is alesha? That's weird
"Alexis?"
"Alexis?"
"Hey, alexis talk to us and don't try to scare us like that"
"My gosh, what happened?" now this is really weird. How could she not remember a single thing? Especially what she said to us or is she pretending to do that to us because she is really hiding a lot of secrets that we should at least know
"What happened? Is that the right question you would like to ask from us? Alexis, are you hiding something from us? Because you're really a different persons a minute ago and who's this twin? Her name is alesha and she keep talking nonsense things to us which made us freak out" I said
"Did I do something wrong again?" alexis asked
"I don't know if we're talking to the alexis we know or someone else" jamie said which has a doubt
"Why do I even talk that way?"
"Are you saying something alexis?" I said which I didn't get to hear that clearly
"Ah nothing, whatever happen there which I'm truly sorry about it" she apologized and seems to be anxious
"Don't you remember what you said?" I asked
"No I don't" I think she's lying to us and I won't stop until we get the right answer
"Are you even sure about that alexis?" then jamie hold my hand tight so that I would stop asking because I can see that alexis is a bit pressure
"I think you're tired alexis, just tell us when you're ready" jamie said and she is really a soft hearted person when most people take advantage of her
"Wait, about what? Do you think that I'm lying? Why do I feel that you girls had a doubt on me and I tell you right now that I don't have any secrets to tell you because it's not what you think I am" alexis is aggressive and we can't fight for what she wants to say
"Maybe I need to take some fresh air around the campus and I guess I'm not into myself today. Just text me, if professor in the second subject is coming around" she said and left without saying another word
When the two of us just look at each other then I couldn't think what to say next. Even jamie is getting scared on alexis and she is hiding something from us which we don't know what it is. I'm guessing, she has dissociative identity disorder and I'm not sure about it.
"I'm back girls, here's the clothes and sorry it took me long to get back here. Mr. Brick has a meeting so we didn't get any deduction. So where is alexis right now?" michelle asked
None of us answered the question of michelle because we don't want her to know what happened her because she might freak out once she found out. We will just wait until alexis is ready to tell us.
"So you're not going to tell where alexis is. Okay, I'll just call her instead" when she is about to dial the number of alexis
"She just walked around the campus to take some fresh air" jamie said
"Oh really" michelle said
"Maybe, she'll just go to the classroom on the second subject since it's already 9:15 and we still have 45 minutes left before Ms. Daisy class start. Have you find a partner? For the activity" she added
we almost forget that activity which I didn't get to look for a partner. This day is really not for us I say because first, me and alexis argue. Second, jamie got bully then alexis is really acting strange and she's like two person in one body.
I don't know if she is crazy or what then maybe she is just acting or pretending. I don't want to ask her about it because she might act that way again so I might as well keep to ourselves if we don't want to bump to that kind of person she has. But I hope that won't happen again and she is really a shit person.
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Alexis POV
Please be good to me today and I don't want to make any trouble today. I don't know what happened but it is really shit day for me start it. I can see lovely and jamie are shock when they look at me like I did something wrong on them. I do feel strange a bit awhile ago and I must say it's going back again. I'm already losing control of myself at this early morning and I think it was not on our plan. I'm guessing they don't know anything or something about me and only the twins know about it and same goes to MJ. How can she do something like that? Did she say something about the two? Then my phone suddenly ring which gave me a heart attack. Who is this calling?
"Hello, who I'm talking to?"
"Morning alexis, your voice sounds different. Am I really talking to the right person?" oh it's mj which he is calling to early. Don't tell me he needs something again
"So what do you want?"
"Woah alexis, relax and I won't ask you anything. I just want to know, if you're doing fine and I hope you're not stress on those school works. Did something happen to you?" – MJ
"I don't know and I can't answer that"
"Why? Did you change into another person again?" – MJ
"How did you know?"
"Because you just said you don't know and you can't answer it which it's kind of rude of you" – MJ
"I'm so sorry and I guess I'm acting strange again"
"Let me guess, you still can let go of her?" – MJ
"I don't know, I'm just really afraid right now and I can't still tell them about it which this is not the right time for them to know this secret about me"
"So you're going to let yourself struggle? Alexis, come on. It's been 9 years since that incident happen and it's not your fault. She already forgive but you still keep holding on it and blaming yourself for what happened" – MJ
"Don't confront mj please, I'm begging you right now"
"Okay, I'm sorry and I'm just really worried about you. The pain you've been holding for 13 years because you lost your mom on the young age. Same goes on what happen on the incident 9 years ago when you were still in middle which you lost control, keep thinking of sacrificing your own life by doing suicide and blaming yourself because of the regret you feel. You know what, I just want to say that you should free yourself from the pain and do you want them to see you like that even they're not by your side anymore?" – MJ
"Is this the reason why you called me? If yes, I'll end this call now" when I was about to end it
"No alexis, I'm just really worried about you and I don't know what really happen to you today" – MJ
"I hope she didn't do anything stupid to my friends because I won't forgive her even she will turn her back at me" I said to myself
"Are you saying something?" – MJ
"Ah nothing, you know what I feel frustrated and suffocating since I transfer to another school. I know this always happens when we transfer and I always sabotaging everything. That one trouble in every school we transfer is not I want to happen here and I've been so afraid thinking about it. This really made me feel worried and I'm just trying to distract myself from other things" now I said one of what I feel this past few days and I can't tell them but only MJ and the twins who knows my true weakness
"So what do you want to do now?" – MJ
That is one hard question which I can't give a specific answer right now
"Do you want me to transfer to your school just to stay by your side and protect you at all cost so that you won't get scared and hurt?" – MJ
I'm not worried of getting hurt but I might hurt someone or my friends that been there for me when times get rough and I just can't really explain the things I really want to say at them. To the point, I'm losing my mind and can't control my emotion
"No, I'm not afraid of getting hurt at all. But hurting someone is not what I want to happen and you know me what I did to clover which she got scared at me and it was her"
"I know" – MJ
"Do you still remember when I got accused by someone then when I told my dad about everything, he won't even believe me at all which that made me go crazy and mad like I want to go out and live my own. Also, what he did is that he wants me to apologize when I did nothing wrong"
"I understand you alexis and I know you since when we were still kids. Alesha is always there for you when you're dad is busy and she's been taking care of you and Abigail when your mom died but when you two got into an accident and only you who survived then you started to blame yourself from it and you keep doing stupid things that really made me feel worry and the twins are really crying seeing you like that" – MJ
I don't know what to say and he just really made me remember everything what happened that day which made me lose out of control trying to break things and killing myself but Abigail save from the tragic I'm facing
"I need to go now MJ and I still have my next class today. I'll talk to you later and call me" I said and end the call already. I stand up and get my bag then went first to the comfort room to wash my face for a bit since I have a swollen eyes and I don't them to see me like this. I guess I'm making myself stupid excuses again when I don't have anything to say
I took out my dairy and write something happened today so that I won't forget the things that keep happening to me
Today,
On June 30th, I made a big mistake and crazy things happened when I can't recall on what I said. I'm hoping, my friends won't hate me even I change or they won't recognize who they talking to but still I'm not letting myself get controlled by her because I will fight until the end. I'm sorry I can't still let go of it because of the regrets I had and this is really making me feel lost when I tried my best to look for better way and move to another path I'm in. Whatever happen to me, I hope I won't hurt anyone until the day I learn to let go of the pain that I'm been holding for almost 13 years.
Please let me have the peace and happiness I need and don't let this cruel thoughts swallow me. I'm begging myself not to make that one mistake that she will regret it for her entire life and start to blame herself for it. Doesn't matter anymore, If I could kill myself just to protect my friends and distance myself from hurting them just because of alesha been protecting me from those people who she might think can harm me. In the end, I don't want to hate anyone. – Alexis
My nose suddenly bleeds which I feel a bit dizzy then I went out of the cubicle. I wash it off and look at the mirror. I know alesha you've been watching me but please don't do anything stupid that would hurt my friends or say something that would make them confused. Or else, I won't even forgive you at all if that happens.
"I hate myself badly" there I said it now and that's how I feel like a shit
"This is all your fault alesha, if the students here might think I'm a crazy person because I'm talking to myself" At least, there's no student here at all and I'm thankful with that
"Alexis, please be mindful of your surrounding because you won't even know that some will bully and I'm just protecting you at all cost even I'm not around anymore by your side" alesha said
"Then why are you using me when I can protect myself?" I said to her while looking at the mirror which she suddenly show her reflection
"Because you can't even let go of the things that you should have been and you can't even overcome your trauma at all. So, how am I supposed to leave you like that?" I'm not a kid anymore trying to let myself get hurt by these bunches of bullies and I can handle it on my own
"You can never promise something when you are afraid to do so. Alexis, it's not always what you think that you're weak or what but sometimes you need to let out the pain you feel inside than to keep it when you feel suffocated because of the mix emotion you feel" alesha said
"Why do you keep lecturing me?" I asked
"I'm just telling you because I cared for you and why do you keep pushing someone away when they truly care for you? You don't even know how much they want to stay by your side. Tell me, do you still hate dad because of what happened to my mom?" she asked which make me frown and pissed off
"Never ever mention dad and I don't want to hear it anymore. Don't ever show up and I don't want to see you again" I said it because I want to be alone then she suddenly disappear and I suddenly sat down until I cry because of the pain memory I had when I was a kid. Why does she need to let me remember?
I'm trying my best to be happy, but why do I always feel like suffering? How I wish I could forget everything and get into an accident then I have memory loss or amnesia so that I could start a new life.
Is that really hard to achieve your own happiness? Or is just me who think so negative? All I want is to live with happy life and I couldn't wish anything else but I never celebrate my birthday again until that day happen.
I should get going since I'm already late at the class of Ms. Daisy and I don't have my partner yet. I get my things and went out the comfort room then I saw someone outside waiting and I find him weird like he's waiting for someone but there's no one else in the comfort room and it's just me. Did he hear everything I said?
"Oh, hi alexis" he said and how does he know me? Did we meet?
"Hi, you must be?" I don't know him but he looks familiar
"I'm Lemuel Sanchez, we're on the same class" lemuel said
"Oh really?" this is so awkward
"Actually, I didn't ask permission to go out since Ms. Daisy is busy listening conducting the activity. Still remember the pair activity? I would like to ask you to be my partner" he said and I couldn't even say no since he is friendly '
"Yah sure why not" I said then he holds my hand to run so that we could still reach the class of Ms. Daisy or else we might get zero on the activity
"Our class today is on the music room, so she won't noticed at all and don't worry about it. I'll make a way for us to get there" he said then he just keeps holding my hand when I really feel awkward right now but I don't have any other choice.
It took 15 minutes to get to the music room and I can still see michelle, lovely and jamie there. We quietly entered then the performer is done.
"Is Sanchez here?"
"Yes, ma'am daisy"
"I think you and mendez are the only left to sing for us. You can start now" We just got in time at least we can still perform
"Do you know how to do dj and beat mixing?" he asked and well of course I do, that's my full time job when I was in US
"Yeah I do so" I said
"Just follow my lead okay? I trust you" lemuel said and smile at me. It's my first time hearing someone saying that
"When I start singing and give you signal, you'll start okay?" he said and I just nod then everyone is watching us. He start playing the piano and I can see that this music room really have everything here
Lemuel:
Looking back at yesterday
I thought I gave it everything
But still there's so much road ahead of me
He gave me signal and I start the beat which I know this song
Me:
When I looked into your eyes
I guess I didn't recognize
Who we are and all that we can be
Me and Lemuel:
Sometimes it's hard to find yourself
But it's worth it in the end
'Cause in your heart is where it all begins
We gotta be bold
We gotta be brave
We gotta be free
We gotta get loud
Making that change
You gotta believe (woah)
We'll look deep inside
And we'll rise up and shine
We can be bold
We can be brave
Let everyone see
It starts with you and me (woah, woah, hey)
It starts with you and me (woah, woah, hey)
It starts with you and me
I love his voice and I think he is a singer or an idol. He can also be a lead rapper and main vocalist. Some are trying to sing with us when michelle, jamie, and lovely are taking a video of me which made me feel embarrassed. He keep staring at me and I don't know if I have something on my face
Lemuel:
There's something special that I've learned
It's together we can change the world
Everybody's got something that they can bring
Me:
When you take a look inside yourself
Do you wish that you were something else?
But who you are is who you need to be
Me and Lemuel:
Sometimes it's hard to find yourself
But it's worth it in the end
'Cause in your heart is where it all begins
When it's a pair activity but it became an acapella group which made ma'am daisy smile and she likes what she is seeing to our performance. Then some girls seem to hate me because I'm with this guy and they just glared at me. Weird girls and kind of pathetic which I don't care if they like this guy but the only thing I want here is to finish this activity. When it's almost done then afterwards everyone is clapping even they're just forcing themselves doing it
"Alexis and Lemuel, you got the perfect score same goes to the three girls awhile ago. I guess we're done class and next meeting, I'm going to discuss some topics and be ready but I won't giving you any exams at all. You only need to do is participate and enjoy the class. Remember music is the soul of one self and soundtrack of your life" ma'am daisy said
"Music is a piece of language wherein if you can express the things you want to say just sing it through a song when everybody will listen and try to understand what the lyrics means to them. Music is not something that should be destroyed but where word fails, music speaks. So class, I can say that music can change the world because it can change people. Have a nice day everyone" she added
Then everyone packed their things and left the music room. Well I guess most of them got bored since it is already 11:10am and the only left here is me, lemuel, michelle, lovely, jamie and three boys who I don't know
"That was a great played you got there alexis and I liked your voice as well. You're amazing" he compliments me and that made me smile somehow
"Lemuel, let's go and it's almost lunch time" his friends calling him and he pack his things when his friends just waited him out the music room since he is still fixing his things
"Alexis, where have you been?" lovely said
"Were worried about you, why didn't you answer my call? Like I've been calling you more than 10 times" jamie said
"Are you alright alexis?" only michelle got the right thing to say to me
"Thank you and I really have a great time singing with you alexis" lemuel said
"Woah, who's this hot looking man?" lovely said
"Lovely!" michelle and jamie shouted at her
"Don't mind her, thank you too lemuel and I really have great time" I said then he just lend his hand to have handshake I guess which I just did
"See you around the campus" then he left
"His name is lemuel?" lovely asked and I think she already fall for him
"Lovely, stop asking and you know that were all worried about alexis" michelle said
"Okay I'm sorry" she apologized
"So where have you been?" What excuse should I say so that they won't ask anymore question
"I just went to the library and sleep for a bit" I lied and they all seem to be convinced on what I said then hugged me tight. Do they miss me that much? Like I'm only gone for about an hour and I didn't even go anywhere that far because I know they will definitely look for me. I'm just trying to avoid the topic for them to stop asking question that would make me feel uncomfortable and I suddenly feel hungry which I told them that we should go now to the cafeteria since I'm starving already. We left the music room and went to our favorite cafeteria.