Chapter 9

I opened my eyes and was shocked to find myself on my bed. How did I end up here? I remember crying on the rooftop… And that's all I can remember…Crying. So why am I on my bed? Did I fell asleep before I came here?

I stood up and prepare myself for class.  When I went to the kitchen, I frowned when I saw a meal that's on my kitchen table. I was about to asked myself, when the culprit called.

(I hope I didn't woke you up)

"You made this breakfast?" I instantly asked him

(Yup. You fell asleep after crying last night, so I carried you to your room. I went back at the morning to prepare your breakfast and left, because I'm sure, you wouldn't want me intruding at your place) I closed my eyes tightly out of frustration. He's seriously an idiot.

"Aren't you already intruding at that point?" I heard him laugh on the other line

(Ow yeah, I didn't realize that)

"Idiot! So why did you call?"

(I just want to tell you that I'm picking you up)

"W-What?! Who said…" he already hung up before I can finish my sentence. He's an idiot and he's frustrating me.

I was finishing my meal when my I heard my door. He's here. I stood up reluctantly, and opened the door for him.

"Good morning!" I said the moment I opened the door. "Have you eaten your breakfast?" he asked

"Yeah, I was just about to clean it up" I said and then turn my back on him

"Well, your welcome" he replied, which made me looked back at him. He was just smiling at me. I just suddenly felt embarrassed. Stupid Levi, you could've say thank you at least.

"Y-Yeah" I replied and quickly clean my plates.

A few minutes later, we're on his car. I just realized that, this past few days, I haven't been using my car lately, but I honestly secretly liked it. Before we parted he handed me an apple juice.

I was preoccupied the whole day. I'm not still not feeling good, and I feel like I would have a mental breakdown any minute now. Terence noticed it too, but I just shut him out. I don't want him to notice, I don't want him to be worried at me.

I walk absentmindedly and somehow my feet brought me to the parking lot, where Kai's car is. I sat on the floor hugging my knees, while quietly waiting for him.

I hate this feeling. I hate feeling alone. I clenched my fist tightly, as the sight of everyone who hurt me flashes before my eye. I bet they're all happy now, happy that I am miserable on my own.

"I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it." I chanted,  as if it would calm me.

I was back to my senses when a hand grabbed me, and called my name.

"Levi! What happened?" I heard him but I can't seem to processed what he was saying "You're trembling. What's wrong?" he asked again, but I still can't answer him.

My entire body was trembling, and my chest hurt too bad for preventing any kind of sob that's almost about to go out. The next thing I knew, I was inside his grasp.

"L-Let go. I'm f-fine" I said struggling hard to remain calm. But instead to let go of me, he held me even tighter.

"Shh I'm here, I'm here." He said as he gently patted my back. I hopelessly push him back at I don't have any strength. I am still trembling badly. "I'll only let you go, when you've calm yourself down." He said.

My hand held his shirt, which I'm sure, is a mess right now because of my grip. Shit! Shit! Shit! Why is this happening here, of all places.

"S-Send me home p-please" I pleaded.

I don't want people to see me like this, see us like this. This is gay, but I felt like I'm going to be alone if I let go of him.

"Sure. Let's get you home" he said. I thought he was going to help me up, but instead he carried me and carefully placed me inside the car.

We were quiet the entire ride, but he is holding my hand tightly, which somehow calmed me down.

"I'll send.." I didn't let him finish

"Please don't. I'll be fine here. Thanks for the ride" I said and silently went out.

"Are you sure you'll going to be fine?" he asked. I just gave him a wary smile, which I don't know if it convince him or not.

When I entered my unit, my brows arched when I noticed that the lights were on and I can smell food cooking. Someone's inside the house, and I'm quite certain that it's not Kai. I left him on the parking lot. I immediately went to the kitchen and saw a woman cooking inside my kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" I asked trying to choke everything inside.

"You're here! I made dinner, wait I'll prepare it" she said and made her way in my kitchen like she owns it.

"Honey is the dinner ready?" I immediately looked for the owner of the voice. I honestly can't breath properly right now. Why of all time are they here? "You're already here, good. Let's eat your mother prepared us dinner" he said.

"My mother?" I asked. I breath deeply to calm myself. "Can you please leave, dad" I said, trying my best to be polite to him.

"Why? I've just cooked your favorite" she said while smiling at me. If she thinks that it'll work with me like it worked with my dad, she's wrong.

"Please leave, while I'm asking you politely" I said again.

"Now what kind of attitude is that?!" I saw him smirked. I know he doesn't like that much. "You think you can manage on your own just because your mother left you with all of her money? You're so wrong, soon enough you'll need my help, kindly remind yourself with that. Now show me your respect. I am your father!" he said. His new wife ran to him and held his arm, trying to calm him down.

"The moment you cheated on my mother and neglect us, I treated you as no one" I replied as I clenched my fist.

"Come on! You're still mad about that? You're mom's already dead, so just move on. I'm the only one left as your family" he said which pissed me off even more.

"Honey, come on don't be like that" she said then she looked at me "Levi, our intentions are good. I just want to check you, if you're doing fine, so…" I didn't let her finish and speak up.

"Well you've already saw what you need to see. I'm perfectly fine so please leave." I said again, even if my act of being brave is already running out.

"Levi.." she said but I cut her off again.

"Please"

She looked at me first before she dragged my father out with her. The moment the door closed I fell on my knees. I feel horrible and it hurts me a ton. I hate this. I don't like this. I don't want this. I can't take this anymore.

Panting heavily, I reached for my kitchen knife and sat on the floor. My eyes drifted from the knife to my wrist.

"Mom, I can't take this anymore. Please take me with you" I said before I cut myself.

I closed my eyes and waited for the darkness to take me in, but I suddenly heard my phone ringing. I tried so hard not to listen to it. Please, just let me be gone, I'm tired already.

The phone stop ringing for a moment, then it ranged again. It went on for four times before I groaned in frustration. I reached for my phone and answered it without looking who's the caller is.

(Are you sure you're fine? Do you want me to come?)

The moment I heard the idiots voice, I dropped my phone. I looked at my trembling and bleeding wrist. Tears started to fell down, at the sight.

"W-What have I done?"

I immediately went to the kitchen and looked for my first aid kit. I immediately treated my wound, even though it won't stop bleeding. I lean my back on the wall.

If that idiot didn't call, I wouldn't came back to my senses.

After a minute I heard my door. I went to opened it,  and saw Kai's worried face. He looked at my wrist and tears started to fell from his eyes.

"No, no, no, no! Please!" I was shocked by his reaction and I honestly don't know what to do.

He fell down on the ground crying, and mumbling words I almost can't hear. I get down on my knees and tries to made him looked at me.

"Kai?" but he seems like he can't hear anything.

"I-I'm sorry. It's m-my fault. It's my f-fault" he said while still crying and trembling.

I grabbed his shoulder and shook it firmly.

"Kai what's wrong with you?!" I said, which caught his attention. He immediately made an eye contact with me.

"You're not going to l-leave me right? Please don't d-die, please" he said which confused me.

I had no idea what to do, I just hugged him like the way he hugged me earlier at the parking lot.

"Please don't leave" he beg again

"I won't" I replied which made him to hug me even tighter.