Chapter 8

Cameran

She looked at me entirely serious.

‘What do you mean?’

Cameran: ‘You're a collector, who happened to be experienced with a little. You've handled your obligation to your boss, you've done your duty as a Mommy. What happens next?’

‘Your ankle isn't healed.’

Cameran: ‘But I'm sober. I know that you protected me, and I'll never be able to thank you, but I need to know what happens now. I'm not high, in my head space, or the pills I made you flush. I made you flush them, that shows you I'm not just some hooked junkie. So what makes me so special? Why am I here? I just don't get it.’

‘You're not a job. Maybe at first, if I'm being honest, I just felt obligated. I'm sorry I felt that, but it's true. Now though, you're here because, as much as I don't want to admit it, as much as I don't want it to be true, I care about you.’

Cameran: ‘I'm still confused. You are so respectful, if I'm little, you act like a Mommy, when I'm not you act like you're my girlfriend.’

‘I'm sorry if that is not ok with you. I understand...’

Cameran: ‘Dani, I'm just lost. I like being with you, I really do. I like how you treat me, whether I'm Cameran or Mimi, I like how you talk to me when we're just talking about life. I like that you tell me about your baby girl. I'm just trying to figure out where we fall, I can walk, I'm not helpless, but you haven't mentioned me going anywhere. Dani, I just need to know what you want. I can pick up the pieces and be ok, without you, as grateful as I am, but I feel like there's something you aren't telling me.’

I took a deep breath.

‘I want you. I hate myself, but I want you, all of you, Cameran, and Mimi, so bad, I'd do anything for you.’