This Is Harder Than I Thought

Sterling refused to leave Scarlett's side for long. He wanted to be as helpful as he could since we got home a few hours ago. He followed Damon around as Damon walked and held her. He wanted to make sure I was able to take it easy while he had taken some time off from work. Watching him step up like this made my heart feel so full.

The doorbell rang which made Jet bark resulting in Scarlett fussing for a moment. Rose hurried her way to the door as Damon calmed our daughter down. My mother was led into the room by Rose. She had a massive grin on her face. I was grateful she was here, a year ago the odds were against her. Now she was well and meeting her first granddaughter.

"Hey." She greeted us quietly. "How are you guys?"

"We're good." I gave her a small smile.

She sat down next to me on the couch. "Can I see her?" She asked Damon.

He nodded and carefully walked over to place her into my mother's arms. She smiled wide as she looked upon Scarlett. It was amazing to see how much joy this little human brought to everyone. My mother glanced up at me and then back down to Scarlett.

"She looks like how you did when you were a newborn." My mother spoke after making her observation.

"Only time will tell who she really looks like." I responded just as Scarlett began to cry out. "She might be hungry."

"Sterling, go to the kitchen." Damon instructed.

"But I want to stay here." Sterling responded.

"Your mother is going to feed the baby. While she does that, why don't we get a snack?" Damon suggested.

I looked and noticed Sterling seemed a little surprised. I think he expected to get in trouble for protesting. Finally he nodded his head and led Damon into the kitchen. I was still attempting to feed Scarlett breast milk, I didn't want to give up so easily. But it had been hard, she still was refusing to latch onto me.

My mother handed her over and I tried once again. Yet again she refused to latch on. I could feel myself begin to get a little frustrated as she continued to cry out. My mother noticed right away and offered to take Scarlett back. "Damon, I need a bottle." I hollered as I felt defeated.

"It's okay Kaybug." My mother was attempting to be reassuring.

"This is harder than I thought it would be." I sighed.

"It's going to be. Having a baby isn't easy." She was honest as she responded. "It's an adjustment for all of you but it's going to work out. I found with you that it was the first two weeks that were the hardest. Once you get a routine and she starts sleeping through the night you'll feel a lot better about everything."

Damon walked in with a bottle that had been prepared. He handed it to my mother who then proceeded to feed Scarlett. I felt his hands on my shoulders as he placed a kiss on my cheek. "I see your doubts Love. You're still doing amazing." He spoke.

"Thank you." My tone was flat.

They could say I was doing great but I didn't feel like I was. My hormones were crazy as they tried to go back to normal levels. My boobs hurt as they became engorged and started to leak. I was clearly producing the milk but it felt like it wasn't enough for her. My body was sore and I just didn't feel like I was going to ever feel like myself again.

The doorbell rang again. Jet barked for a second time to make sure we knew we had a guest. Rose took it upon herself to answer the door once more. This time Martin followed behind her. He had the same smile my mother had. It was a smile like they were happy to see us but it was clear that Scarlett was the main attraction tonight.

"Hello everyone." He spoke as he took a seat on the black couch across from the one I sat on with my mother.

"How are you?" Damon asked.

"I'm well. How are you guys doing?" He looked between Damon and I.

"We're good." Damon answered. "I'll be right back, Sterling is finishing up in the kitchen." He proceeded to walk away.

"Kaydence." Martin spoke in a quiet tone but still loud enough to get my attention.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I'm sorry if this is a bad time to ask, but I just want to make sure you and the children are okay. He was off that last time you were all over. Is he okay?" Martin asked with a look of concern.

"I think so." I nodded. "It's been difficult but he did meet with his doctor and he's working on it." I reassured Martin so he didn't have to feel worried about our safety.

"What are we talking about?" Damon looked between Martin and I as he returned with Sterling.

"Nothing." Martin responded. "Just wanting to check in on Kaydence. She's been through quite a bit the last few days."

"I see." Damon didn't seem to buy his excuse. If he asked what Martin said I would be honest and tell him. There was nothing wrong with him knowing others were looking out for the children and I.

Martin and my mother visited for a couple of hours. My mother left first as she needed to get home and get some rest. Martin stayed about thirty minutes longer after she left. Finally it got late enough he decided to go so we could have our privacy and relax.

My mother finished feeding Scarlett and then it was Martin's turn to hold her. "She's beautiful." I could see how happy Martin was. "I've always wanted a granddaughter to spoil. Now she's finally here."

I held Scarlett in my arms as Damon and I walked Martin to the door. He turned around as he was about to exit. "There's one more thing I wanted to inform you of."

"What is it?" Damon asked.

"Justin finished his program and I'm sending him back out of Nashville. All I wanted was to make sure he had a fighting chance against his disorder." Martin spoke. "You won't have to worry about him anymore."

I looked up to Damon. I could see some sort of emotion flash over his face. It didn't seem like anger. It was something else but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. Was it just him being uncomfortable at the mention of Justin? Or was it something bigger?

I chose to let this one slide instead of asking him about it. He was barely seeking treatment so I couldn't read too much into how he reacted to things right now. If there was something more I would eventually find out.