He Is Falling For Me

Parental Guidance is Recommended. This chapter includes heavy topics. Suicidal thoughts Warning!

I walk every day, and I put my hands in my pockets. I know it's selfish, thinking that it would be easier. If I wasn't around, and it's not like he ever said he cared about me right? I start to walk home, and it starts to rain. I stop, I kneel in the rain. "No one cares about me." I yell, and I start to cry. Why is life so difficult, I never asked to be here. I lean back on the side walk. The rain hitting me on the face, it was cold. I felt nothing on the inside, numb. Is this why I left Daichi that day, cause I couldn't handle my own emotions? Was I going to lash out at him? I was so mad and frustrated at my parents for leaving me. I left him the same way, it was my fault. I wiped the rain from my face, and I put my hands on my eyes. Trying to think, cause all I could think about was how I made it harder for everyone. My parents didn't want me, they said it themselves. My dad failed at nationals, and he wanted me to be better than him. I failed, I am a failure. I stayed on the sidewalk an hour that night. I finally picked a day to end it all, I was going to do it. Then my parents stopped me, I didn't know they did. After I cut my arm, and I lost a lot of blood. I closed my eyes. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. My parents were worried for the first time my whole life.

I remember, saying goodbye. Knowing him, he was running to the hospital. When he saw my text. He never gave up on me, I was hoping he would. It would of been easier for him, and he went through this much trouble to run here. He runs into my room, out of breath. He looks so exhausted. My parents just left at this point, and he yells at me. I feel so worthless, and I grab his phone. While he was sitting next to me, and I walk to the window. I start to cry, and I don't deserve this, to be happy. I break the window, as I cut myself. I was still pretty injured from trying to cut myself before. He holds onto me, looks me in the eyes. He grabs my hand, he starts sobbing. I have let everyone down, and I can't do this- I jump. He throws me back, with his left over strength. He yells something to me, and I haven't forgotten it. I sit here, in the hospital room, with arms that are full of blood. The window that is broken, that I broke. He saved me, and he.. I start to sob. What was I thinking? For the last second, his dying wish. Was in my mind, and then I lost all of his connection to me. He was really gone, I killed him. "I KILLED HIM!" I start to yell, he wanted me to live. I will never forgive myself. I will never love, cause I killed the love of my life. I sit on the broken glass floor, and I look down. Please live right? Well I have no choice now.