CHAPTER 12

I was sitting in my room playing Assassin Creed Revelation on my Xbox when I got a message on my phone. I paused my game and picked up my phone to read the message.

Ian- 'I'll pick you up at noon. Don't worry, I still remember your address.'

I looked at the message confused and scrolled through the older messages to help jog my memory.

Crap! It's Wednesday! I forgot about our date!

I jumped up from the floor and ran out to the bathroom, raising alarm to my mom.

"What's wrong honey? I've never seen you move so fast."

"I forgot that I was going to hang out with a friend today!"

I closed the door before she could say anything else and started the shower, quickly stripping off my clothes.

It's like after 10 so I have some time but still, knowing me I tend to take a while with getting ready. I took a quick shower and started to dry my hair when I checked the time. I was good for the most part. I forgot about my hair for a second and ran out to my room and started to get some clothes on. I grabbed simple clothes, those of which being a pair of jeans and a black tank top. I looked over to my bed where Ian's jacket was and picked it up. I went back into the bathroom and finished drying my hair before starting my makeup. I put on my usual look and walked back to my room to grab some shoes to wear. I grabbed a pair of black ankle books and as I was putting them on I heard the doorbell ring.

Shit, already?

"Mom, don't answer it! I'll be there in a sec!"

I finished tying my shoes and ran out to the front door. Once I got there I caught my breath and fixed my hair before opening it. I saw Ian standing there smiling looking like his usual self. But when I saw him I couldn't help but notice how my heart jumped a little .

"Hey," I said, still a little out of breath.

My mom walked over and stood next to me.

"Why, hello! I'm Jessica's mom. And you must be her-"

"Friend," I said, cutting in not wanting her to assume anything or make anything difficult for me. Ian looked at me a little sad and I just looked down not wanting to explain right now why I said that.

"Well, come on in..."

She waited for him to say his name and out of nowhere Ian put on this weird smile and held out his hand to her.

"Ian."

My mom took his hand smiling too and shook it.

"Nice to meet you Ian. Would you like something to drink?"

She started to walk away from the door but before she could really do anything Ian put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me.

"No thank you. Thank you for the offer but we have somewhere to be."

"That's alright. You two have fun."

"Thank you," Ian replied before he started leading me out when my mom chimed in yet again.

"Oh, Jessica?"

I turned and looked at my mom.

"Be home before 11."

I rolled my eyes and started to close the door.

"Yeah mom."

As if we could be out that long.

I followed Ian to his car and got into the passenger seat and waited for him to come in. He got in and started the car before looking over to me.

"Hello beautiful."

My eyes widened a bit with the sudden word but I did my best not to react. The flips happening in my stomach were proving otherwise. I looked away and cleared my throat.

"D-don't call me that."

He laughed a little. "Sorry."

"Where are we going?" I asked as I watched him start to drive off.

"You'll see."

"You don't seem the type to make surprises."

"Yeah but you like surprises. And I'll do anything to make you want to make you happy."

I blushed a little at his words. I was once again seeing that he was serious about me and us being a couple. But still, I didn't know anything just yet.

We kept driving in silence and I started to feel a little awkward around him. It was weird since I never felt awkward around Zach.

Oh that's right. Zach. I totally blew him off after that night. I haven't really spoken to him since.

I pulled out my phone and looked at our texts seeing dry responses from myself with his usual questions like "how are you" and "what have you been doing". I felt my stomach turn. I hated the tension between us but technically it's his fault.

I wanted to get my mind off things.

"Can I at least know how long until we get to our destination?"

"About an hour."

I readjusted in the seat and got comfortable after hearing how long the trip would be.

"Is it okay if I do stuff on my phone while you drive?"

"Why wouldn't that be ok? You're your own fucking person."

He laughed a little after saying that. I smiled a little seeing that he was being sweet and continued looking at my phone. I opened up some random app to help pass time. It was just a simple game so that If he ever wanted to talk I could do both or just over all turn off the game.

I just didn't want to think about Zach. Anything but that.

There was a bit of silence before I heard Ian clear his throat a bit.

"I see you've got my jacket. You like it that much?"

I looked down at my lap and saw it before feeling my face get warm.

"Oh, right. Yeah it's a nice sweatshirt. Comfortable, you know?"

He laughed at what I said and I felt my heart flutter.

"Admit it. You like the smell of my cologne. I know you girls like that shit. Why else would you ask for a guys jacket?"

Now my face was hot and definitely red.

"Wha- that's not true! I said it's because it's comfortable! Asshole."

Ian laughed again and the sound was something I wasn't used to hearing and I liked it. The sound was different but I liked it. I smiled to myself and hugged his jacket a little close to me. We stayed in silence as Ian drove to this mysterious place and I couldn't take it any longer. I wanted to talk to him a little more.

"What exactly do you have in store for me?"

I had to ask this and hope he would keep the conversation going.

"Well after we get to this place I think we'll be pretty busy there for a few hours, then we can stop and eat something, and then if there's anything else you want to do then we can do it."

I felt a sense of something more behind what he said.

"By anything else, what do you mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh you know, play some games at my house, go somewhere alone and private, so on and so forth..."

I hit his arm after hearing his dumb suggestions.

"Oh piss off. You know that's not happening."

Ian laughed and the sound was something I wasn't used to hearing and I liked it.

"You never know. Maybe after this I'll have woo you enough for you to just say yes today and not wait until Monday."

"You make it seem like I'll say yes in general."

He shrugged.

"I'm not against anyone, am I?"

I froze not knowing how to answer this. A part of me started thinking about Zach. About that night. About the words he said to me.

I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat.

"I guess that would make sense."

Ian looked at me from the side as if suspecting something. But he can't suspect me, right? I mean, I've been hiding my friendship with Zach for years and he just now told me about his feelings. There was no competition. There was nothing between us.

"Do you like anyone else?"

I looked at him seeing he was already back at looking forward at the road. I looked back not knowing what to do.

"You're asking as if I like you."

"It doesn't hurt to assume you do. I mean, you agreed to this, didn't you?"

I stopped. There was nothing I could really do to win this, was there?

"I guess that's one way to look at this," I finally said. I looked back out the window hoping he couldn't see the expression on my face.

"Thank you. Now, it's my turn to ask a question." He paused and I waited for him to continue. "Should I worry about you not choosing me?"

At this moment all I could think about was Zach.

"No. Just the fact that I don't know if I could be more than friends with you."

"I see. I think I can help you with that."

I scoffed. "Really? And how do you plan to do that?"

"My charms duh."

I felt myself wanting to laugh but held it in.

"I don't think I'm that weak."

I saw Ian smirk from the corner of my eye. "We'll see. No one can withstand me."

I thought back to something I've thought before.

If he wasn't such the loner type he'd probably be really popular with the ladies. I guess I was going to see that first hand.

Ian started to slow down and turn over and park telling me that we had arrived at our destination. I looked around our area but couldn't quite see where we were.

"Where are we?"

Ian looked over to me and smiled. "Why don't you just get out and see?"

I unbuckled myself and got out of his car eager to see where we were. Once outside I looked around and gasped at the site. We were at an aquarium. Not many people know that I love to come here. I try to keep my love for fish a secret.

"How did you...?"

"A guy will learn all he can about the one he cares about," Ian said as he walked up behind me, placing an arm around my shoulder. I looked over at it for a second and didn't mind it after a while.

"So, shall we go?"

I jumped out of his arm and ran out a little before turning back to look at him with a large smile.

"C'mon, let's go!"

Ian laughed as he walked up to me with his hands in his pockets.

"Don't run in the parking lot!"

I ignored him and kept running to the entrance. "Shut up! I'm gonna do what I want!"

I ran to the entrance and stood there waiting for him when he walked up. We got through the entrance and stood in the middle of the large inter section while looking at the map of the aquarium.

"So where do you want to go first?"

I looked over Ian's shoulder and my eyes grew wide when I read a small area after the coral reefs.

"Jellyfish! We have to see the jellyfish first!" I started pulling Ian's arm to where the jellyfish were. I was acting way too childish for my age.

"Why the jellyfish first?"

"Because they're my favorite!"

I kept dragging Ian through the fish tunnel ignoring the beautiful creatures in front of me and kept looking ahead to the next section that was originally my end goal. We got to the circular room with only jellyfish. They were in different areas since some jellyfish can't live with other types in the same water. I got up close to one of the wall tanks and pressed my hands against it, looking close into the tank watching the jellyfish float around me. I was so focused on the jellyfish in front of me that I didn't see Ian walk up behind and then lace his arm around my waist.

I looked over from the fish to him, seeing a smile on his face and gentle eyes. I looked back down at his hand and cleared my throat.

"Something wrong?"

I looked back at the jellyfish.

"Nothing."

It won't hurt to let him have this just this one time.

I decided to go look at another jellyfish and started to move to the next tank when Ian pulled me in close to him, wrapping his other arm around me.

"W-what are you doing?"

Ian rested his head on my neck breathing me in sending a jolt through my whole body.

"Sorry. You're just too cute."

I felt myself blush at his words but not because he said them but because I imagined Zach saying them.

I pushed his arms off of me and walked off to where I wanted to go and started watching the next type of jellyfish not knowing what to do since I started thinking of Zach again.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"N-no. I mean, no one else is in here so it wasn't that bad."

He walked back up to me and I could see his reflection on the glass. He was looking solely at me and nothing else with a slanted smile on his face. I couldn't help but really look at him. I bet of I wasn't thinking about Zach this would be much more romantic.

I looked back at the jellyfish until I thought it was about time I moved on to the next area in this aquarium and started to walk back through the coral reef tunnel admiring the fish around me. As I did I looked over to Ian for one second seeing him smiling as he looked at the other fish around him. I squatted down and put a finger on the glass watching the fish swim by.

I thought I kept this little part of me a secret. Only Zach should know about this. I mean, the last time I came here was with him back in middle school.

I stood up and started wandering out not knowing where to go now. I was stuck thinking back to the past. I started following a path I remembered Zach and I followed the last time we went here and ended up in a small room for seahorses.

"Are you planning to leave me here?"

Ian's words brought me back to the present and I turned around to look at him forgetting he was even the reason why I was here.

"S-sorry. I got lost in all the fish."

I turned back to the sea horses and leaned down to get a better look at them.

"Did you know that the male seahorse is the one who gives birth?"

I rolled my eyes and almost laughed. "Did you know that everyone uses that fun fact whenever they see a seahorse?"

"You got me there."

I smiled and kept watching them just swim around.

"Hey Ian?"

"Yeah?"

"Just... how much do you really like me?"

I had to know. Because after staying here for less than an hour I think I already knew my answer for things.

Ian stayed silent, and concerned I got up and looked at him seeing his eyes hold desire. He held out a hand to me and gently stroked my cheek before cupping it.

"Can I just show you?"

My breath got stuck in my throat as he looked at me with those words hanging in the air. I looked around to see if anyone else was in the room with us and saw that a mom with her kid was.

"N-not here..."

Ian let go of my face and brushed my hair out of the way.

"All right. I'll wait patiently for that time."

We kept going through the aquarium seeing all of the creatures possible to see and by now we had spent three hours here. But I could probably stay here for a thousand more just staring at these fish swimming around. But sadly, I couldn't. And despite being with Ian every second I couldn't help but think back to Zach and what he was doing now and what he was thinking about.

As we roamed through the aquarium, I couldn't help but think back to when we came here together from years ago.

"You want to go eat something?"

I looked at Ian after staring at some crab and started to feel hungry after his words.

"Yeah. But if we're going to eat something we should go somewhere else. This place is expensive."

"I like you even more."

We ended our time at the aquarium and started to head back to Ian's car when I felt him grab my hand and lace his fingers through. When he did that, I felt extremely bad but didn't reject his hand holding it back.

I'm so sorry Ian. I think I've already made my choice.

***

Ian drove up my driveway and stopped the car looking over at me with a smile.

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

I looked at him and put on a smile not wanting to hurt his feelings.

"Yeah. Thanks for taking me."

"Anything for you."

I started to get out when Ian grabbed my hand making me look back at him in surprise.

"What are you-"

"That's it? I thought I had something waiting for me in the end."

I thought back to what I could have said to make him think that when I remembered what I told him after he caressed my cheek. I looked him in the eyes and made a small smile to help sell my act.

"Not yet."

He grinned at my response and let go of my hand. "Alright. It better be something good."

I didn't say anything else as I got out of the car and walked to my front door not looking back. I couldn't look back. I didn't want to lead him on any more than I already have. By now, I knew my answer. At least most of it.

I walked into my house and closed the door behind me letting out air I was holding as I sat down against the door.

"Welcome home."

I looked up to my mom and smiled. "Hey mom."

"How was the date?"

I got up and groaned as I walked to the couch falling down to it.

"Please don't ask."

My mom walked over to me and sat down next to me looking confused. "I'm at a loss here honey. O thought you liked him."

I sat up and looked at her for a second before bending over to get my boots off.

"On Thursday he basically asked me out but I didn't know what to say so I told him I'd give him an answer by Monday. Then Saturday he asked to go one a walk with me almost like a date. He then asked for another date. All of these are "what if" situations to give me an idea of what it would be like for us to go out or date."

"Oh I think I get it."

I got my shoes off and just left them there on the ground as I brought my feet up to the couch.

"So are you going to say yes? I think he seems like a good choice for you."

After my mom said that I couldn't help but think about Zach. Again.

"There's another factor to this that I don't fully understand."

My mom looked at me concerned and I shifted on the couch sighing.

"I don't not like him. I think I like someone else but it's all just complicated."

My mom sat up and started nodding her head. "I see what you mean."

"You... do?"

Mom straightened up and looked up as if looking back on some memories.

"Of course! It's a normal thing most girls can find themselves in. Well some girls. And usually those girls make the right choice."

"Mom please don't tell me you were one of those girls."

"And what if I was?"

I started laughing.

"Alright mom. You keep telling yourself that."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. If it makes you feel better it wasn't with your father."

I sat up. "That doesn't make me feel better!"

"Well it should. Your father was better than any guy I met in high school. But then again that's because back when I was in high school all the guys cared about were drugs and sex."

"Mom. Don't say that."

"What? It's true."

"Mom, please don't go on one of your rants about your high school experience."

"Okay, okay, I get it. I tend to talk a lot."

"And about the same thing every time."

We sat in silence for a bit before I couldn't help but think back to when dad was still with us.

"Do you miss him?"

My mom stayed silent for a second before sighing. "You sometimes don't realize how good something is until you lose it."

I thought about Zach and the possibility of losing him. But not in our friendship, but in what we could have.

I think maybe all along I've had feelings for him.

After a while my mom got up and started to walk to the kitchen. "Well tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I was planning on having the Style's over like we always do."

I got up shocked and almost fell in the process. "Wait,what?"

She looked at me, raising an eyebrow and folding her arms. "What's the problem? We always have them over for Thanksgiving. They're great friends of ours."

"Y-yeah. Sorry, I just got lost in my own thoughts."

After she said that I thought back to my brother. "Hey, is Micheal coming this year?"

Mom sighed. "No he's got stuff to do in Minnesota."

I slouched a bit, feeling sad. It's been a couple years since I last saw him.

"You want to help me prepare for tomorrow?"

I walked to her and leaned over the counter.

"Sure."