CHAPTER 13

Our doorbell rang and my mom quickly walked over to the door while drying her hands with a towel. I looked up from the table I was setting and saw that it was already 2.

Guess Thanksgiving is starting.

I wasn't one who really liked Thanksgiving since it was all about food. I'm not one to really eat let alone a lot.

I listened as my mom talked in her high pitched voice whenever she was with visitors and just walked out from the table with my arms crossed. I watched as Zach's parents came into view and saw that Mrs. Style had brought a pie like she does every year.

Then I saw him.

I saw Zach and for some reason couldn't understand why my heart was speeding up.

He looked over to me and hit me with one of his dreamy smiles and couldn't help but blush a little.

Oh boy this was going to be interesting.

"Hello Jessica! You look as beautiful as ever!"

I looked at Mrs. Style and smiled as I held out my hands to take her pie out of her hands.

"Thank you. And you don't look a day over thirty."

She waved her hand at me as I put her pie with the other desserts we had.

"Oh stop it! You're only making an old lady's heart sing!"

I smiled as I looked over at Mr. Style.

"Afternoon Mr. Style."

"Same to you Jessica. And just call me Dan. I feel as though you're a daughter to me."

I looked to the side feeling a little weird from the feeling and saw my mom walk up behind him.

"I'd like to think we're all family."

I rolled my eyes feeling even more awkward.

Does this help or go against my feelings for Zach? I was still upset about that night but after my date with Ian I couldn't help but think otherwise. I couldn't tell how I felt in the end.

I walked past them and up to Zach with a small smile on my face.

"Hey."

He smirked at me and got closer to me.

"Hey."

Somehow his simple words made my stomach twist. It's only because I've been thinking about him nonstop. Thinking that only made me feel more anxious.

I pushed the thoughts aside and looked back at the table seeing two seats next to each other open for me and Zach. I froze seeing that I'd have to sit next to him and watched as he casually walked over and sat down. Everyone looked at me and I just walked over and sat down feeling very embarrassed for just standing there for a while.

We started eating and people started talking about random things I'd never find interest in. After a while I finished eating which was before everyone else since I wasn't one to really eat as much. But being the nice person I was, I just stayed there watching everyone enjoying their food when I felt something grab my upper leg.

I quickly looked over and saw Zach smiling mischievously and knew exactly what was happening. Trying to act normal I slipped my hand down and put it over his trying to push it off. Zach was faster than me though grabbing my hand in response making it to where we just held hands. I didn't try fighting it but I couldn't help but let the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Jessica, honey, are you feeling alright? Your face is so red!"

I quickly looked up at Mrs. Style and immediately released my hand and cleared my throat.

"Y-yeah. Just a little tired."

I could see Zach trying not to laugh as I struggled to control my blush and just got up from the table.

"If you will excuse me, I think I'm full for now. And I'd like to go to my room, if I could?"

I looked at my Mom with practically pleading eyes.

"Jessica, we have guests."

"Actually I'd like to play some games with her if you don't mind."

I looked over at Zach, almost surprised with what he said but we practically played video games every Thanksgiving while the adults just talked about their jobs or something.

"Alright."

"Thank you mom."

I walked out and to my room seeing Zach close behind. Once inside I looked over and saw him walk in then close the door.

"Why did you-"

Before I could finish he leaned over and took me in by surprise, our lips crashing into each other taking my breath away. He ended the kiss, slowly leaning out of it with a smile.

"I've been dying to do that for days now."

I felt my heart do jumps and my stomach do flips as he said that making me step back and fall back onto my bed.

"No backlash? I guess you're not upset with me anymore."

"No that's not- ugh! I'm just in shock, dumbass! Back. Off."

He raised his hands up and took a couple steps back. "Sorry."

We stayed silent for a bit. I was about to say something when Zach beat me to it.

"How was your date yesterday?"

I looked at him wide eyed, surprised he even knew about it.

"What do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not dumb Jess. We live like two houses away. I saw everything. Are you really going out with him?"

"I don't know…"

"Then what was that? You two are just hanging out for fun, alone?"

I opened my mouth thinking of what to say when nothing came.

"So you guys are going out."

"It's not like that!"

"Then what is it like, Jessica?"

"You know what? No! It's none of your business. It doesn't concern you!"

"I might have a different concept of something to concern me from what you think concerns me."

"Well I can tell you we did nothing so don't get your panties all in a bunch."

"I'll be the judge of that."

I sighed and looked to the side not wanting this to keep going. Zach walked up to me and looked at me deep in my eyes.

"Tell ''em what he did."

"Stop it. I don't even get why you're acting jealous."

"Oh my god Jessica! I've already said this! Why can't you just believe me? I love you!"

I stopped at his words and relaxed into my bed. I felt my shoulders drop and my eyes fell down to the floor.

"Jessica, I love you." He said it again, this time in a softer tone. He walked up and placed a hand on my head. He slid his hand down and lifted my chin so I would look directly into his eyes. "Stop trying to deny it."

I sighed and almost leaned into his hand a bit. "All he did was hold my hand and stuff. He didn't even kiss me. Now can you stop worrying?"

I hated to cause drama. It really isn't such a big deal to tell him this stuff. He's still my best friend. Love or not I'm sure he just wants to make sure I am ok and that nothing bad happened. But I know that isn't the case. It does have to deal with love. And despite me not wanting to accept it I knew he was telling the truth.

"I still don't like that. I can't just accept that he touched you like that."

"Why? Ian and I aren't even together so this shouldn't even matter to you."

Saying that hurt him a little.

"You know that's not true. I could tell yesterday that by the end of it you didn't want to be with him any more than you had to and as your friend I have to worry."

"That still doesn't mean you can tell me what to do."

Zach stepped closer to me and leaned down making us inches apart completely ignoring what I said.

"Jessica, tell me what you're thinking right now."

I'm thinking about how despite everything he still cares. That I finally know for sure he does love me. And that I hate that all I could think about yesterday was him. And god dammit just kiss me already!

I looked away from him, not able to keep looking at him with all these thoughts in my head. He was so close and I leaned my head down a little as I did pushing his hand off.

Zach stood up and sighed.

"Admit it. You know you don't want to be with him. So why bother?"

"Zach," I sighed, "it's not that easy. Besides, as I said before we aren't together so it doesn't concern you. Stop worrying. You're my friend. I'll tell you stuff when I want to."

Out of nowhere Zach was in front of me again and I felt him grab my hands and push me down against my bed, my heart getting stuck in my throat as he did that.

"I won't be able to stop worrying until you say yes to me."

Zach hovered over me as we laid in my bed not making a move.

"Zach..."

"Is it wrong for me to love you so much?"

"N-no, it's just that, you just shouldn't be doing stuff like this. We're not together."

"Why does it matter? You like me, right?"

"You have a girlfriend!"

I looked to the side not able to say anymore. I couldn't say anything. I don't know why I was hesitating. I wanted to say something but something was holding me back.

He leaned down and kissed my neck making me moan at the feeling. I felt him smile at my reaction and went back to that same spot, sucking on it.

"Nng... Ah... d-don't leave a mark..."

Zach rose from me and laughed a little.

"Why can't I? I have to mark you as mine one way or another."

He went back down to my neck and nibbled where he last sucked, making a weird sensation run through my body.

"Zach stop!"

He got up and looked at me, his eyes showing how hurt he was. That's when it hit me how much pain rejecting him caused him. I felt bad mainly because I knew deep down I liked him too.

I felt Zach grab my hands with just one of his as he used the other to cup my cheek and slowly rub my bottom lip. It felt so soothing and it felt hot against my skin.

"Why are you holding back?"

I looked at Zach after he asked the question and felt my voice get stuck in my throat.

"I'm not holding myself back with anything."

"Jess, I know you. You looked conflicted but mostly sad. If you actually like me then just say the word. It'll make everything better for the both of us."

I looked to the side not being able to face him directly.

"There's nothing for me to say."

Zach sighed as he got off me, sitting down next to me. I was still laying down on my bed trying to process things. I tried not looking back at Zach as I kept looking at my ceiling.

"Zach..."

"Don't say anything. I know you're not ready."

I felt my heart throb at his words and didn't want to hold back anymore. At that moment, before I could even say anything my phone

started ringing. I groaned and pulled out my phone, my eyes growing wide when I read the name.

I heard Zach scoff behind me and quickly answered the call getting up as I did.

"H-hey Ian."

"Sorry, did I call at a bad time?"

"N-no!"

I looked over at Zach who looked very displeased with what I was doing.

"Well... not really anyway..."

"Sorry. It's just after yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"But you could've just texted me."

"But I had to hear your voice."

I heard Zach scoff yet again a bit behind me.

Can he hear the call?

"W-well you did. Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?"

"No, not really. Sorry for just calling you."

I knew from what he said he clearly had more to say. He probably felt bad from me sounding upset with the unwanted call.

I saw Zach start to get really irritated and tried to quickly end the call.

"It's ok. Just… I'll call you when I can, ok?"

"Alright sounds good."

I could hear the smile in his voice and ended the call. I was nervous to look over at Zach.

"I guess I was wrong."

I looked over at Zach. His head was hanging and he looked so defeated. I was confused as to what he meant though.

"What?"

"The reason why you keep rejecting me and saying these weird stuff is just your way of nicely saying no, isn't it?"

"Zach please. Just stop. I don't want to talk about this."

"Well I'm not listening anymore anyway."

He got up and opened my door, not looking back at me.

"Zach, wait!"

He didn't stutter in his step and didn't say anything else as he walked out and just left me in my room. Alone.

I stood there and felt my heart drop.

What am I doing wrong?