Friends or Flowers

"I'm home!" Charli sang as he came in the door kicking off his shoes "Oi, what are you thinking about?" he said as he dropped himself on the couch beside me before pulling his hair down.

"Huh...sorry I was just lost in thought, It's nothing really. I have just been out of it today that's all" I replied.

"Wanna tell me about it?" he asked.

"Well...it's just that I saw your girlfriend's "toy" in the bathroom today; why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend at one point?" I asked.

Charli immediately turned bright red "Oh...fuck."

I was confused "What? Oh, fuck what? "

"I think it's time that I tell you something," he said putting his bag down before he took his place on the couch "Come sit" he patting the space beside me; then he took a few shaky breaths, he was unnerved.

I gave him a reassuring look, whatever he was about to say, I wanted him to know that I was ready for it "Boba, you know that you can tell me anything, what's on your mind? What has you so on edge?"

"I know that.." he began "It just...this is a really big secret that I have been keeping from you," he said, his voice starting to crack.

"Look. whatever it is, if you're not ready to tell me yet then I won't pry" I said leaning in to give him a comforting hug, but instead he just pushed me away. I am so confused right now...

"Boba wha-"

"Benjamin I'm gay" he stated and looked at me with shame on his face, his eyes teared. I didn't say anything. I just smiled. and hugged him as he broke. He broke and I felt it. I felt his release, telling me meant that he didn't have to hide anymore.

"Benjamin...I'm sorry" he sobbed, gripping into my shirt. He hid his face; like when we were kids, I just held him tighter, I rubbed his back in circles.

"Why? remember what I said to you? As long as you are happy with yourself-"

"Fuck em? Yeah I know...but you're different" he said.

I smiled at him and shook my head; sure I was shocked but I didn't feel any different about Boba, he's still the same to me. My best friend; I care about him and want him to be happy.

We sat there for a while until he calmed down enough for me to talk with him; he wiped his eyes and smiled at me "Thank you for never changing Benjamin" he said with a slight laugh of relief.

I nodded "Charli, you're my best friend and you will always be my best friend; nothing is going to change. So, if you don't mind me asking...when did you like, find out that you felt this way?" I asked.

He shrugged "Well...after I moved away I met this guy and we hit it off..." he began. "I just sort of developed feelings for him that weren't the feelings that you would have for a friend. Then one night we were hanging out on the balcony smoking, he lit my cigarette then he kissed me, that was the moment in which I realized that I was gay".

"Well, what happened? Are you two still together?" I asked.

Charli shook his head "He left me and went on and started dating some girl saying that it was just for fun; that he wasn't gay and he was just bored and couldn't find a girl at that time".

"Aw damn, he didn't deserve someone as awesome as you anyways. That's really fucked" I said patting him on the shoulder, giving him a cheerful grin.

"And the vibrator...I bought that not long ago...you know how it is" Charli rolled his eyes.

"No, No I get the vibe...I mean...sorry. No need to explain" I laughed.

He laughed and hugged me again "Thank you for understanding Benji, you have no idea how good it feels to come out like this".

"Yeah of course, as I said, you can tell me anything," I said, hugging him back before letting him go "Let's get some drinks then; tonight we celebrate your birthday a bit late".

"Who knows, maybe we'll find you a girlfriend finally" Charli joked "But I have to get ready first, I have to change my clothes" then he got up and left the room.

I waited for him at the door; after a few minutes he came out wearing a red flannel shirt over a black one with black jeans and chunky white sneakers to make him seem a bit taller than he was. His hair was down a little down his shoulders "How do I look?" he asked, smiling.

"You look, great man, are you ready?" I replied as we left out together.

"We can walk to the bar from here, that way we can catch a ride home if we have to. It's cheaper that way" he said, skipping beside me.

I shook my head and chuckled"You seem happy" I said.

"Mhm!" he replied; he was full of energy and happiness as he usually was, his child was showing again. I awed.

Eventually, we got to the bar and sat down at a couple of stools; it was dark inside with a neon sign above the bar wall that flashed "Hot Pink" the smell of cigarettes was burning my nose; there was loud rock music playing with the laughs of some guys gathered around the pool table; one of them was showing a ditsy little biker girl how to shoot, she was leaned over the table in a short skirt; to them, she was the shit.

"This is why I don't smoke. It stinks" I said covering my nose.

Then the barmaid came up; now she was hot...deep red hair and snake piercings. She had deep blue eyes and looked good in faux leather; I could see her belly piercing and the tattoo on her side hip. Her curves were complemented by what she wore, then I thought about how much she stood out to me more than the other girls that I've crossed back home in Miami since I broke up with my ex.

This girl looks like her type...yikes.

"Excuse me." she said, "what can I get you, two gentlemen".

"Uh, I don't know exactly...I am new at drinking. Maybe something you suggest off of something your sweet list?" said Charli.

"I'll get your Devil's Basement" I replied.

She smiled "Coming right up big guy" Then she winked at me as she turned to make our drinks.

"Benji I'm nervous," Said Charli swinging his feet in front of him as he chewed on his lip.

"Don't worry Charli it's going to be fun" I reassured him.

The Barmaid came back with our drinks placing them in front of us before leaning over the bar, resting her head on her hand while staring at me, her left hands glitter black fingernails on the glass top. She had red lips and smelled like candy "Hi there" She said.

"Hey" I answered, taking a sip of my drink.

"I'm Ariel...I know, ironic because my hair is red" She laughed.

"It's beautiful, my name is Benjamin," I said with a charming smile; the more I looked at her, the prettier she got, I thought. The more I drank, the more I got to know her, and the more I wanted her as we talked for about an hour and a half and four or five Devils in. By then I was feeling a bit tipsy and wanted to call it a night so I decided to ask for her number in which she happily gave to me.

"you know..." I began...I don't live in New York, I am originally from Miami".

Ariel smiled "Oh yeah? Wow I have never been there before".

"Excuse me, Benji I have to use the bathroom" Charli whined, he appeared to be already drunk and halfway through his second drink.

"Excuse us, Ariel, I will be right back," I said as she nodded, then I guided stumbling Charli to the bathroom. I sighed as I waited outside the stall where poor Charli was throwing up everything he drank...maybe drinking wasn't the best idea.

"Charli?" I called knocking on the door hearing him choke and crying.

"Benji I don't want to drink anymore...I wanna go home please" he sobbed before puking more.

I sighed "Give me a moment Charli, stay here for a sec, you'll be fine. I'll get you some water," I said walking back out to the bar where Ariel was pouring drinks for some of the other guys at the bar catcalling at her. Something about her was smooth and it made her even more attractive; I watched as she arm wrestled one of the guys, and she won too! She seemed so dangerous and smart. I could be entirely wrong but with a few drinks and some neon lights, good girls will make the devil want to have ice tea.

"Hey, bad boy" she winked "How's your friend? Is he still throwing up?".

I nodded "Do you have a water bottle? I'll pay for it" I asked as she shook her head.

"It's on me, just get home safe you two" then she threw me the bottle.

"Ok, thanks" I smirked before waving at her and making my way back to the men's room to check on miserable Charli who was still sick as a dog. I scooped him up on my back carrying him.

"Hope you feel better Benjamins friend "Ariel called.

"Bye Ariel," I said, pushing the door with my foot. Charli was pissed drunk and knocked out. I don't know how...you'd think maybe somebody bugged his drink but no, he's just really, really bad at holding alcohol. Drinking really isn't his thing.

he was quiet the whole walk home, except when we were going up the stairs in which he started to whine like a child. What a nightmare.

"Alright Charli, we have to go inside now," I said as he clung to me, his legs wrapped around my waist. Oh boy, it was the only way of getting him up the stairs without him kicking and whining like a baby so don't romanticize the situation.

"I don't wanna blah!-" and...he puked on me...great...

I unlocked the door and carried him straight into the bathroom where I took off my soiled shirt running a hot bath. I sat Charli up on the sink where he just complained about the light being so bright and how he felt. I helped him out of his shirt and his pants; I had no idea he had a Koi fish tattoo on his hip, the more you know, I thought "No...my undies. Benjamin can't see me naked" he whined flailing his arms like a baby again.

"Charli you have to get undressed, it's ok I am a guy too," I said pulling down his underwear and getting him into the tub. He splashed at the water and whined more "Benjamin I'm sleepy" he complained; I just shook my head and started cleaning him up.

"Yeah I know let's just get you cleaned up" I sighed.

Then the most unusual thing happened to me...Charli...somehow pressed his lips against mine. I swear I'm dreaming or hallucinating because I can't move; I had the feeling of not wanting to...why? This isn't me! No, I can't...

I managed to push him off, wiping my mouth where I stumbled back against the sink in shock. I can't think...what the fuck just happened? How do I respond to another man kissing me?

I took a breath...

Charli is just drunk...he's not aware of what he's doing that's all, I thought...it was an accident.

After I got Charli cleaned up I put him to bed and quietly shut the door; I was still shaken, I didn't know what to feel. His taste was still left on my tongue...fuck. I just need to forget about it; that was just an accident. I need to calm down. I just need to wash up, a shower will clear my head and help me relax, I thought.

It's not like that.