THE PAIN OF LOSS

It was silent, so dark and empty, like a world without a sun but yet it was painful.

The solitude had closed in on everything and the memories of the awful night surged through Soren's brain.

"Stay with me my dear." Is all Soren could say to himself as he slowly caressed his abdomen.

He felt something slippery and pulled his hands to view, he could not see a thing but all of a sudden, he felt he knew what that could be.

The stench of it was familiar and he knew it was blood that very instant.

"No." Soren said and then he opened his eyes only to look at a couple of faces surrounding him.

Soren was tucked into the bed and from the looks of thr light that filled the room, it was clear that it was day time but Soren was not sure what hour it was.

"Your Highness." Gerald said and it brought him into Soren's attention.

"You need some rest." Another voice said and Soren looked around at the source of the voice.

"Doctor." Soren said surprised.

Suddenly, he felt sharp abdominal pains kicking in.

"Oh, that hurts so much." Soren said.

"It sure will only for a while, in the mean time, you need to get some rest." The doctor said.

Soren noticed that as everyone in the crowd that was gathered seemed to have their attention on him, one person in particular did not.

He could make out the familiar image he knew too well looking outside one of the bedroom windows.

Soren simply quietened down and as he slid slowly a little more  under his covers he remembered, he simply could not sit up because he had some serious pain.

"Doctor, how is the baby?" Soren asked.

Everything seemed to suddenly come to a halt as soon as that question escaped Soren's mouth.

Everyone simply bowed down their head with a very sad expression conquering their faces.

Soren studied and it was evident that the atmosphere around him had darkened and become very unlively.

"Doctor, how is the baby?" Soren asked once again.

"Everyone leave." Conelm suddenly spoke and the servants and everyone present had been frozen in one place.

"I said leave." Conelm yelled aloud the second time and everyone started to make a swift exit of the suite.

In a short while, the large suite had been vacated and all that remained there was the royal couple.

Conelm studied the rain drops that struck the window and the dew that had settled on it.

He wore a sad expression as he looked at the grey sky, unable to utter a single word while silence distilled in their midst.

"Conelm, how is the baby?" Soren asked desperate to get an answer, perhaps the baby had been badly hurt and they did not want to stress him.

"What do you think?" Conelm asked in reply.

"I do not know." Soren replied.

Conelm turned around, his facial expression changing that very instant as Soren tried to study it.

There was a rush of emotions that Soren failed to read clearly as Conelm moved closer and stopped keeping a distance between themselves.

"Really, you tell me you do not know." Conelm spoke in a rough voice.

"Why isn't everyone telling me what exactly is going on?" Soren asked.

"You really want to know what you deed, you were careless, you were stupid, it was all your recklessness." Conelm said.

"What?" Soren spoke as he forced himself to sit up despite struggling with the great pain.

"It was all you Soren, you killed him, you killed our child." Conelm said as he pointed at Soren.

He was entirely enraged and he had let it all out that the silent aura that had prevailed around them earlier evolved to one of turmoil.

The words lingered in Soren's ears for a very long while and he could not believe what he had heard.

Before he could comprehend what was going on, Soren felt tears falling down from his eyes.

"No." He said as he held his belly, he could almost feel that it was indeed very empty at that very moment.

"It cannot be." He added as he started to sob quietly.

"It was all your fault, you were very reckless with our child." Conelm said as he broke down into tears.

"Conelm please." Soren said.

"Enough, I do not want to listen to anything there is that you have to say, it was your actions, it was you who murdered our child." Conelm said.

"I did not, please, someone pushed me off the stairs." Soren said.

"I said Enough, listen, could you not remain in the bedroom when I asked you to do so, what were you doing near the stairs.

You knew very well, didn't you, you knew that you were not to walk down the stairs without the help of someone's hand.

Did you listen, did you think about it, tell me did you?" Conelm yelled.

"Please, I did not intend to do so, everyone was unconscious, please listen to me Conelm." Soren said.

"You can only be sorry but that cannot bring back our child Soren." Conelm said.

"Please, it is not what I desired, Conelm hear me out, I did not mean to." Soren pleaded as his heart pounded in pain and tears increased flowing out of his eyes.

"I actually thought that it was worth it, we had made it the first five months, the next four being done I would ably embrace our child.

You cannot understand how it feels, I thought that everything might actually turn out well for all of us.

But then you, you simply could not care as much as I did, you did not listen and now our child, our joy has been snatched away from us." Conelm said as he turned around and faced the window.

Soren simply kept quiet as he continued to sob relatively keeping it a little low.

"You don't know how hard it is for me to believe this, everything that is going on currently is too much for me to bear." Conelm said.

"I ache when you ache, I also grieve the loss of our child Conelm, it hurts me as much as it hurts you." Soren said stutteringly.

"No, you don't, all my pride was based on this child I believed we were going to have and all of a sudden, I lost him, I lost our son before he was even born.

How can I face the world and I tell them that their would have been heir of Scoln, simply could not make it.

How do I face the world and tell them it was all because of the recklessness of their future Queen, how do I even begin to mention it to them that because you could not stay and wait for me, we lost our child." Conelm said.

"Conelm please." Soren said.

"What is there for you to say in your defence, the bedroom door has a lock, you could have locked yourself inside until I returned but you didn't.

I strived only to make it and witness your fall, you were unserious and you did not act as cautious as you were supposed to be." Conelm shouted.

"I could not just lay in bed and do nothing, I needed to stand up and protect our child.

How long was it that you took there, I asked you to stay but you simply couldn't, I waited and everyone was not there to aid in protecting me, even yourself.

Conelm, you are blaming me but look where were you, where was everyone else?" Soren suddenly yelled.

"That is out of the question, everyone who would have thought well would clearly see that locking yourself inside was more secure.

You say you stood up to protect our child but look carefully, you did not undertake the most logical measure." Conelm shouted even louder.

"Then hear me out at least, I expect you to trust me, Conelm, I did not mean to anger you or even get our child killed.

Please forgive me, I can accept anything else even carry the blame for the death of our child but please forgive me." Soren said.

"Everyone was right, I simply did not handle you well enough, I need to gather myself and inform the public about this loss." Conelm said as he started to walk away towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Soren asked.

"I actually think that we need some time apart to adjust to the situation, I cannot simply face you after everything that has happened.

I think it is best that I left and composed myself to deal with the situation at the moment before we got excited and harmed one another." Conelm replied without looking back.

Without another word, Conelm walked out of the bedroom after throwing his back at Soren.

A distressed Soren remained alone in the company of the empty suite closing in on him, everything had simply shattered to smithereens.

Confused, sad and lonely, the once jolly Soren surrendered to the pain that crept deep within his heart and silently burst into relatively loud sobs.

With the thick walls no one would listen to him, even Conelm the person that he so dearly loved was angry at him.

As if it was not any worse, blamed their loss on him, what more could become of the marriage where Soren felt he had found love.

Perhaps the dawn of the day was dark and unfortunate, maybe the gods were nolonger in his favor, or he was simply a bad omen to the Scoln Royal family.

All these were the thoughts and whispers that came to his mind and ears respectively and he started to feel primarily very much responsible for the death of his own child.

Perhaps the heavens were punishing him for it or maybe he had bad luck that everything that had happened aimed at severing him from those he adored and cherished.

With the course of events that had prevailed, it culminated into Soren's solitude entirely completed, he was left with he, himself and him for consolation.