Chapter 9

I didn't know what to say. A good thing, Leah called and her timing was so perfect gosh I should thank her later.

"Hey sis, where are you? you know how terror is our professor for our first subject. You can't be late, come on" She said

Crap, I just realized that I'm gonna get late if I'll continue to answer Bryce so I just said goodbye to him and then run. It's a good thing that my professor wasn't around yet when I arrived.

When I realized that there are remaining minutes before the time, I immediately went beside Leah to share some narratives.

"So, can you tell me now why are you late? You can't wake up late because I know you had a good day yesterday. What? come on tell me, Kaye. I'm very much willing to listen" She said.

I let out a deep breath before telling her the whole story. I even told her my exact conversation with Bryce.

"And then lastly, Leah when I told him to think of a thing that makes him happy, you know what he told me? "Zee, what if you're my main source of happiness? Will you still be here in my side 'till the end? yes, that's what he told me, gosh Leah I don't know what to feel" I said while imitating Bryce's voice.

"And then what did you say my fragile Kaye?" Leah asked.

"Yuh about that I haven't answered yet because you entered the picture, when you called I was about to answer his question, but, you know what, I think you got the right timing so thanks for that," I said.

"But, what if I didn't call you? What answer would you give to Bryce?" She asked

Well, to be honest, I don't know what should I say because first and foremost, I want to be his shoulders to cry on every damn single time but I hate the fact of me being hurt just because he's not yet healed. I know that what I'm doing right now is unhealthy and yeah I know. I need to guard my heart too.

"Hmm Leah, I honestly don't know," I said genuinely

She let out a deep breath before avoiding my gaze, well I guess she just let me decide for myself this time. This is my life and this is my choice, at least Leah knows that.

We just stayed silent until we heard the announcement. Time flies so fast because our professor didn't arrive so we just went out of our classroom to roam around. Leah and I decided to go to the library while waiting for the first break because as usual we're gonna have our first breaks together.

When my phone rang, it's the sign that we should go to the cafeteria. When we arrived, Bryce wasn't there yet and good thing Bryce won't be able to come because they still have a lot of things to do. It's just okay for me because the amount of tension here at our table will be lessened, I guess. Besides, I actually have no plans of telling them about what's happening between me and Bryce.

When our recess ended, we immediately went to our next class and because there's nothing much to do more for today, after completing my classes for this day, I go home immediately since I felt tired.

When I arrived at my house, my mom wasn't around again so I had no choice but to go and lock myself in my room. I didn't eat my dinner even though our helpers prepared a lot, I don't but I feel like I'm still full after eating a lot for this whole day.

The next day when I arrived at the school, I immediately saw Bryce right in front of the school's gate so I had no choice but to walk behind him. I noticed that he's a bit happy so I assumed that there's progress about his 'moving on' thing. I know he's gonna bring up the topic about what makes him happy anytime now so I just didn't ask him.

"Hey Zee, you know what, I feel like I'm halfway there, I feel like I am about to get there, and to be honest, now, I feel so happy, I feel like even without them, I can still live my own life and be happy," he said and then smiled at me

Well, hope all happy hahaha kidding aside, I chose this one so I don't have the right to complain. Anyway, I can feel his happiness so I didn't do anything to ruin his mood. Another thing, I don't want to talk to him that much, I'm still concern about me, well, yeah, a little bit.

When the bell rang, he dropped me off my room, and then he said goodbye. Leah hasn't arrived yet so it's safe because she didn't see that Bryce drop me off here. After all, if she does, for sure I have lots of explaining to do again.

Time passed by and finally, Bryce and I were gonna meet now because earlier before he went to his room, he invited me to a friendly date and I said yes since there's none on my plate right now and I also need to relax.

The movie went well, we shared on a cheese-flavored popcorn and then I got coke zero and he got Pepsi. While watching the movie, my interest is roaming around because I don't like the genre of the movie, it was an action movie and I'm into romance so I just stayed silent here. To be honest, I don't care about the money Bryce spent on this movie anymore. After all, even if I won't watch the movie, I'm still happy because I get to accompany Bryce here and I'm genuinely happy because I was able to do that. Bryce is greater than a movie though.

While he's watching, I get to realized something. I realized that my happiness is somehow connected to Bryce in a way that I'm happy because he's happy and yes, as you can tell, this is not nice. Anyway, after how many minutes, the movie finally ended so we went out to find a coffee shop because he wants some coffee.

"If you were able to accept everything that happened in the past, you'll be able to get through what's making you feel sad. Zee, I think that's how it is" he said and then smiled at me.

"Yes, Bryce I think that's how it is. Also, for me, it's your choice, It's your choice to heal, and to be honest I'm very proud of you because you're doing a great job. I'm proud because even if you lost a lot just because you loved, you're still willing to be okay. You're still willing to get up and I think that's a brave thing to do." I told him while smiling

He just smiled, he must be so proud of himself too, for me, I think he's really good. I think what I'm doing now is just right. I think by this I'm now aware of my place in his life. I know he doesn't need to know about my feelings towards him, I think it's better this way. As long as he's happy.

It's getting darker now so we decided to go home. While we were walking to the parking lot of this mall, I kind of think a bright idea so I told Bryce about it immediately.

"Hmm, Bryce can I drive?" I asked

I'm pretty sure that she has no idea about how I drive and another thing, my driving skills aren't good as before because I stopped driving for a couple of years already and I just really want to try it now.

"Okay but, do you know how to drive because this car is my dad's gift to me so I love this so much and of course our safety is also important," he said. I understand him and if it was me, I'll also take care of the things that the special person or people gave me.

"Of course, Bryce I know how to drive. I have a driver because you know, I'm too lazy to even drive" I said and yes, I freaking lied. I'm sorry in advance though. He gave me the keys and then I quickly went to the driver's seat, feeling excited.

I just drive at a normal speed but when I felt the perfect time to speed up, I immediately did. I saw Bryce's reaction and he held his seatbelt tighter which made me laugh. But, when I felt like something's not good I lower my speed but still, not the normal one. After 5 minutes, we already arrived.

When I stopped the car, he immediately gets out because he let out a deep sigh and then he looked at me with a scary look on his face. Man, I'm kinda scared.

"Just tell me if you have plans on killing me, Zee, gosh I felt so nervous and now I get it, you have a driver because your parents knew about that, am I right?" he scolded me so I just give her a smile as an answer.

I got a little shy because even though he considers me as his best friend, I still feel like I'm not yet comfortable so I just avoided my gaze and looked down. Also, there are tears on the side of my eyes because I got scared earlier. After all, he scolded me.

"Sorry Bryce, I just want to try driving again because it's been how many years since I last drove a car, I hope you can forgive me," I said while looking down.

"Look at me Zee," he said.

My gaze automatically went on his face and when our eyes met, I felt like his face got softer but I don't know if that's because of the tears.

"It's okay Zee, just please, next time tell me what you're going to do, if I knew about your plan, maybe I supported it by bringing you to an open field gosh what you did involves lots of risks," he said

Oh my gosh, I didn't expect that he will support me on the things that I want to do even if that's dangerous, well, best friend, I guess?

"Okay Bryce, thank you so much for today, good night," I said while smiling. I waited for him to leave first before I entered my house. When I looked around, as usual, I saw none so I just went to my room and do my skincare rituals, and afterward, I wore my silky pajama nighties.

The next day when I woke up, I ate before going to school. The maids just cooked some fried rice, bacon, egg, and tapa, my favorite. How I wish this is the food everyday aish.

When I arrived at my school, I proceed to our room and good thing, Leah was already there so I sat beside her.

"You know what Leah, he said that he's halfway there and I can see that, the way he smiles, I can tell that it's genuine. I feel like he's okay now and you know what made me really happy? The thought that he chose to move on because I once told him that it's his choice, it's his choice to get out on the things that keep holding him and can I just say that I'm genuinely happy because he's following my advice. It felt good," I told her

"I'm happy because Bryce's making a progress but enough about him, let's talk about you, how are you? How's your heart?" She asked

I wasn't able to answer fast. I know, I cannot hide anything from her. I cannot say that I'm in love because I totally don't know the feeling of being in love so instead of telling her what's inside my head, I just told her that I'm also doing great and she's very proud of me.

"Hmm Kaye, this is just a piece of advice, I don't want to lie to you that's why I'm gonna tell you these. The way I see it through your eyes, every time you talk about Bryce, your eyes are really glowing and I can say that you're genuinely happy," she said and paused a little.

"But Kaye, this is just all about him, this is not about you and him. He's happy because you helped him and that's great but Kaye, I can tell that you're also affected by his personal life. Kaye, I don't really want to tell you this but " she continued and paused again.

"I think you're in love with him," she said and then our teacher arrived.

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