Chapter 11

I woke up the next morning feeling the pain in my head. What did the hell happen? Seriously, I don't remember anything, was I messy last night? Or did I say something unkind? and wait... how did I get home? Gosh, I hate this, I can't clearly remember anything.

I just took a bath, ate, and drink my medicine to lessen the pain here in my head. Later on, I decided to call Leah and ask for her help to tell me what the hell happened last night. I'm pretty sure that I did something unkind and gross. I just want to confirm it.

It took 3 rings before she answered my call. I asked her quickly about the questions inside my head but she refused to answer because she said that it's better to talk about it in person. I just agreed to her since today is Saturday and I honestly don't have any homework and I don't have anything to do so I just let her,

While I was waiting for her, I just get my laptop to scroll down on my emails and to our group chat because I wanted to know if there's an emergency assignment, requirement, and anything.

After how many minutes of scrolling, Leah entered my room without a single knock. I'm kind of upset because that's one of my pet peeves but I just let her. This is not the time to be mad at her especially she owes me lots of stories.

"Leah please tell me what I did last night. Did I said something unkind? or did I do something gross? Come on please tell me it made me crazy thinking about those things" I told her.

I got shocked when she laughed. I can see some tears in her eyes while laughing, maybe she's really happy. I gave her some kind of death glare which made her stopped from laughing.

"Sorry for that Kaye, I just can't really help ut to laugh. Are you freaking serious that you can't remember anything? Omygosh" She said while still laughing. Because of how she's acting, I got more nervous. Ugh, I hate this feeling.

"You know what, Leah? I knew what I've done last night, I wouldn't bother to call you and ask you, okay? so please, explain what really happened last night, pretty please, Leah?" I convinced her. When I look at her, she's trying her best not to laugh at me because I sound so desperate just to know what really happened, right now, I don't actually care about what would she think about me, I just really need an answer.

"Last night, you drunk too much alcohol, you were wasted and Bryce came, he did his best to stop you from getting drunk but you were too persistent, and to be honest, we can't do anything with you so we just let you drink. Bryce was looking at you the whole time and of course, the highlight of the night, you confessed your feelings to him!" she said happily while I'm shocked here.

"Oh wait, let me ask you one thing, when did you confirm your feelings towards him? my bestie is hiding something from me hmm" she said while giving me a teasing smile, up until now it's still not sinking in but-

"WHATTTT?!?!?!" I shouted while Leah is acting like she lost her ability to hear sounds. I don't actually know what to do with this girl, she's so weird but yeah I love her so I should deal with her weird attitude.

"What the freak Kaye, just tell me if you have plans on ruining my ability to hear so that I'll get ready," Leah said. I just said sorry to her for shouting and we just continued to talk.

Wow, just wow, I confessed last night, I guess that's the power of alcohol, I'm mad at myself for letting that thing happen. That's not me, why did I let myself wasted on a bar knowing that I'm just with Leah, that's just so not nice, Kaye!

Instead of thinking about those things, I just decided to go to the mall with Leah so that I can stop thinking about the things that happened. I just wore some casual clothes and then we quickly went out. We immediately called brother Gene to drive us to the mall so that we can still talk and catch u while we were on our way to the mall.

After a few minutes, we arrived at the mall and we quickly find a restaurant to eat at because we're both starving. When we saw a Korean restaurant, we felt like we should eat there. It's funny because we do things based on our feelings.

After we ate, we just roam around to buy some clothes. Leah told me that she likes something from a brand so I just accompany her to the mall. This is a very long day for me because of course, earlier, I kept on thinking about what I have done last night and instead of resting, here I am now, still shopping like nothing happened. I don't know what should I do now and to be honest as much as I can, I avoid thinking about how should I act in front of Bryce when we meet.

When Leah and I got tired, we decided to go home because we're also gonna study. We like to advance study because that's our ritual. Also, we think that self-study is a must especially for nervous people like us.

When I arrived at my house, I went to my room and fixed my body. I wore my pair of pajamas because I wanted to feel comfortable. When I get back on my bed, I got my laptop and my Ipad on the side so that I can start studying. My laptop contains my modules while my Ipad contains my schedule and some random pieces of stuff for my studying ritual.

When I read one paragraph from my module, I understand what it was trying to say so I expect that I can study a lot tonight but I was wrong. After I understand a paragraph, nothing follows, this is so difficult. I just want to rest now because for sure, I'll just keep on thinking about lots of things but then again, my mind won't just let me. I felt like there were flashbacks that came to my mind and I just found myself lying down here in my bed while looking at my lampshade while imagining and overthinking things.

Weekends passed by and I just stayed at home and forced myself to study even if I can't understand anything. The next morning, I woke up early and I also went to school early. When I arrived at the school, my friends are all there so I got happy.

We're all laughing while walking to the cafeteria because Vine kept on talking about some things and can I just say that it's all ridiculous? While we were laughing, someone caught my eyes that made me stopped laughing and it was Bryce. When our eyes met, he keeps on avoiding it, seriously I don't know what should I do now. Did I get super messy that night? Just, what the heck

I must admit. I am hurt and I honestly feel like I don't have the rights to be hurt which is actually true but I just can't help it. So now, I can say that he didn't like what happened that night? Maybe.. maybe the feeling isn't mutual and that's a fact, it's funny because I somehow assumed that he also has a thing for me.

Bryce and his friends went to our table but then after a few minutes, they said goodbye. He said a reason why would they go out but I'm not listening so I'm clueless here. I just stared at my drink but I immediately got back into my senses when my friends called me.

"What's happening, Kaye? Why are you so pale? Earlier, you keep on laughing, what happened now? Aaliyah said a little bit concerned now. I'm not in the mood to share the story of why I'm feeling this so I just let Leah do the talk.

“You knew that Kaye had an interest with Bryce, and Bryce took that opportunity to ask for Kaye’s help, am I right, Aaliyah?” Leah asked, Aaliyah, nodded in response which made Leah continue what she’s going to say.

“There, because of that deal, Kaye fell in love with Bryce, and then last Friday night, I and Leah went to a bar nearby, Kaye got wasted and then Bryce came, I don’t actually know why Bryce was there but he tried his best to stop Kaye from drinking, unfortunately, his best wasn’t good enough to stop this hard-headed bitch” she continued and paused a little. I gave him a death glare because of what she said.

“After Bryce saw her wasted, Bryce decided to send Kaye home but before that happened, Kaye confessed her feelings to Bryce, she said that she loves Bryce and all, actually, I cannot read Bryce’s reaction that night but I just know that he’s shocked,” Leah said

Wait, what, BRYCE SENT ME HOME? Gosh, this girl never told me that but one thing’s for sure, I made a mess more than I expected, just what the heck, Kaye.

After Leah told them about that, I could not read their facial reactions but when they finally recovered, they went to my place and hugged me. They comforted me, I’m happy because of what they did. I’m happy because even if we’re not always together and we don’t always talk, they’re all still there for me and I appreciate that.

Time passed by and just like the normal days, they had casual conversations with Bryce and his friends but I never joined their talk. Our eyes also didn’t meet even for a single time and that’s actually so in favor of me. But, there’s a time that I can feel his glare and when I am about to look at him. He just pretends that he’s not looking at me and it hurts, it hurts so much.

I just went back to my house. After I entered my room, I immediately let out my sobs, it just hurts. Minutes later, I was shocked because Leah entered, my best friend came to comfort me. When she went to my bed, I hugged her and let myself cry while hugging her. I felt comfortable in her arms but my pain weighs still the same.

"Shhh Kaye it's okay, I'm here for you, it's okay to cry until you feel okay. I know it hurts, a LOT but you need to accept that not everyone can reciprocate what we are giving or what we are about to give. Just let it all out, Kaye. Don’t worry I’m very willing to listen to you” Leah told me.

I felt a little better after what she said that’s why after a few minutes, I stopped crying.

"Come on Kaye, it's okay," she said and then hugged me

I'm really really thankful because she's my friend,

She’s always there for me and to be honest, I didn’t expect that she would come here to comfort me, and big thanks to her because I felt a little better.

She just made sure that I’m okay before she left, I just took that opportunity to sleep and have a good sleep

Weeks passed by with Bryce and me still not talking to each other. I must admit, I’m tired of this setup and it’s still tiring every single day. Every night, even if I try not to, my tears won’t just cooperate, they’re like waterfalls

Today is the day of the week that we don’t have any minor subjects and guess what? I still attended my class. For me, getting busier than usual is a possible solution to at least lessen the pain and I’m not wrong because it kinda worked. Well, KINDA.

When all of our classes ended, all of our classmates already left and it’s just me and Leah here now. She told me that she would just go to the comfort room, I was still busy fixing my things so I just said yes, but I was surprised when she got back quickly. Did she really go to the comfort room? I don’t think so

“Kaye, Uhm, go there and hide quickly,” she said

I just followed what she said because I don’t want to argue with her anymore. Another thing, we also had a deal before that I should follow her because she wanted to protect me from Bryce, well, she’s just concerned so I just let her.

When I found a perfect spot to hide, I made sure that there’s still a little hole so that I can still see what Leah’s doing

I got shocked because someone came, and that’s Bryce, his eyes roamed around, I felt like he’s finding someone or something

“Where’s Kaye?" Bryce asked Leah

"Can't you see? She's not here so you can now leave " Leah answered. Yes, Leah’s mad at Bryce because she was also hurt for me. She said that Bryce should’ve told me what he really feels. She just hates to see me cry

"Come on Leah where is she? I haven’t seen her went out of this room" Bryce told Leah, getting a bit irritated. Wow, so he’s observing me now, and because of what? Because I’ll help him move on? Is that how it is? Well, what the heck!

“You know what, Bryce? I don’t know if you are dumb or stupid, isn’t that obvious? She’s freaking hurt. One week, one week passed by and you keep on ignoring her. You knew about her feelings towards you but you just pretended that you didn’t know anything. She’s been crying for a week, she’s been suffering, and even overthinking for a week, and then now, what? Do you want to see her? And for what? To help you move on? Is that what you want? You, piece of shit!” Leah said, she’s really mad now

"Leah please, let me talk to her. Please please, I don’t know... I don’t know that she’s also suffering, I’m sor-

“What the freak, Bryce! Okay, you don’t know, you don’t know anything because yeah what is Kaye’s role in your life again? Of course, you don’t know!

“Okay fine Leah, I know nothing! I know nothing because I chose to cut our communication. I chose that because I’m not yet ready, I’m not sure if I can so I tried to fix myself first!. I made sure that Kaye’s really the girl that I love, you can’t blame me, I’m from a heartbreak so I wanted to make sure first!” He yelled and paused a little

“Kaye is so precious to me! I don’t want to hurt her because she doesn't deserve it! Leah, I just wanted to make sure that I’m deserving of her love befo-

Leah didn’t let Bryce finish what he was trying to say and then Leah immediately butted in.

“So what now, Bryce? You’ll love her? Why? Are you perfectly healed? Do you really think that you deserve her? Is your heart whole again? Don’t you-

This time, Bryce didn’t let Leah finish what she was going to say, instead, he whispered something, I got surprised when I saw some tears in his eyes. I was shocked when he said something. Three words, three words that made my heart beat like crazy again, he gave me hope once again.

'Leah... Leah, She healed me. She fucking healed me.'

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