chapter 15: Up With Death
Date: May 4th, 2004
Location: Peoria, IL
A drug addict breaks into the hospital to look for drugs. When former Army nurse Chelsea encounters him, he orders her to get drugs. Chelsea gives him a dose of painkillers to make him unconscious. But instead, it made him attracted to her. Suddenly, Chelsea lures him to the MRI machine and tricks him by first stripping off her clothes and then pressing the "ON" button, knowing that the magnetic force is five times stronger than a scrapyard magnet. The MRI manages to disarm the addict by magnetizing his gun. However, the addict has had a steel plate in his skull. When the MRI attracts the steel, the man slams into the machine damaging his brain, and he dies. Chelsea is free from him, due to his death.
Way To Die #485: M-R-OUCH
Date: July 19th, 2008
Location: Tucson, AZ
A pair of exotic plant collectors had just stolen a valuable 6-foot Saguaro cactus from the Arizona desert and added it to their collection. They celebrated their newest acquisition by downing a combination of mescal and Peyote buttons (both of which derived from cacti), resulting in them getting higher than a kite. Suddenly, they experienced something rare; a shared hallucination, in which the spirit of the Saguaro that they stole spoke out to them
"You have done wrong! You will pay for your sins! You have disturbed the Cactus Universe! You will die! DIE!"
The hallucination became too much for the two, and they ran away in fear, only to find out firsthand, how much of a "prick" Lady Karma can be. The first one tripped, landed on his back, and was impaled on an Agave plant, dying from cardiac tamponade. The other one ran into ironically, another smaller Saguaro and the needles closest to his face pierced his eye and punctured his brain.
Way To Die #229: Deadliest Cactus
Date: September 22nd, 1997
Location: Palmdale, CA
Terri, a movie make-up artist rides home with her boyfriend Jesse on the back of his motorcycle. Unfortunately, the vibrations of the bike arouse her to the point of oral sex and for a moment she forgets she is on the motorcycle. She briefly lets go and ends up tumbling onto the road, breaking many bones and dying of internal organ damage.
Way To Die #432: Cuming & going
Date: January 13, 1989
Location: Cold Spring, KY
Mason never had a steady job until he got one with the county morgue. He loved his job knowing that he has a fetish to have sex with dead women. In other words, he is a necrophile. On the day of the funeral for his latest stiffie, Mason drives on his way to the funeral home. The problem is, Mason mistakenly forgot to lock the wheels of the gurney holding the casket. Late for the funeral, Mason takes a shortcut through a parking lot and when a car comes out in front of him, Mason quickly slams on the van's brakes. Mason avoided colliding with the other driver, but not the casket colliding with him; the accident causes the casket to fling forward and hit him in the back of the head, severing his brainstem, pushing him through the windshield and slicing up his skin; following his loss of consciousness, Mason died seconds later, sending the necrophile to the hell he deserved.
Way To Die #150: De-coffinated
Date: May 17th, 2001
Location: St. Louis, MO
Gomer, a parolee let out after doing time for a failed stick-up attempt, plans his next attack to be on a jewelry store. To prepare for it, he puts on a fish-net mask and takes out his gun. However, due to the mask blocking his vision, Gomer ends up walking into a gun store, and is shot to death by the clerks and customers inside when he pulls out his gun. They shot him multiple times until he received a fatal shot to the heart, with death becoming instantaneous, ending his final stick-up attempt as a failure as he is sent to the hell he deserved.
Way To Die #89: Gunfire of Blindness
Date: January 18th, 2009
Location: Halifax, Canada
Mario was an aggressive amateur hockey player who had dreams of making it into the pros, but is currently playing in a city league. He checked everyone including his teammates. They hated him for that. He eventually got into a big fight with an opponent. They fell back and the razor sharp blade of the ice skate sliced Mario's carotid artery and he bleeds to death, ceasing his immature behavior during the hockey games, permanently.
Way To Die #110: Blades of Gory
Date: June 9th, 1991
Location: Chernobyl, Ukraine
Set five years after the Chernobyl disaster, three soldiers named Mikhail, Vladimir and Sonia roam into the wilderness of the nuclear holocaust, and suffer from abnormal conditions caused by the radiation, with Mikhail stating that he can see using his eyelids and Vladimir saying that he's growing a third testicle. Mikhail strikes out with Sonia, his female colleague, who instead makes out with Vladimir, Mikhail's other colleague. So, stooping to zoophilia, Mikhail makes up for it by trying to have sex with a raccoon, only for the raccoon to bite off his penis, and he quickly exsanguinates, much to the horror of Vladimir and Sonia.
Death #611: Boris Bititoff