CHAPTER 12

Mrs. Silis is the housekeeper of the mansion and at this moment my only connection with the outside.

__ Silis, where is Caili, why hasn't she come? __ I wait a few seconds, but I don't get a response.

__ Silis I'm talking to you __ I retry, but nothing. Silis simply places the tray on a small bench, which is the only thing that has survived me.

What's going on?

For the first time in the day I come out of my little hiding place from which she can see me perfectly. I make a move to get closer, but immediately she turns and looks at me with fear. My despair grows more, if it is possible.

__ Silis __ I beg by way of supplication.

His head points several times towards the door __. Mrs. Kiara has sent me to bring your food and inform you that you are prohibited from leaving this room, as well as entry to anyone other than her.

His way of speaking is distant and cold, but he slowly approaches me __. There is a guard guarding the door, you cannot hear me talking to you __. I seat quickly, without making a noise we move away from the door.

__ I don't know what he's done girl, but everything looks very bad out there. The slaves have done nothing but ask for you and Caili had to restrain Ali from doing something crazy __. Take my hand squeezing it between hers.

__ Tell them I'm fine please and not to do anything that puts them at risk.

__ I will do it, I promise. Now I must go. I nod, backing away a bit so the guard doesn't get suspicious. I see how the door closes until I hear the passage of the lock, with it leaving my only communication with the outside world.

Knowing that my friends have cared for me fills my soul with the first warm sensation I have felt in hours makes a slippery tear wet my cheeks. But soon that satisfaction is being replaced by fear. Ali can do anything crazy, I will never forgive myself if something happens to him because of me.

I look at the food and for the first time in a long time I feel like my stomach can't tolerate it. I just leave it there, I go to my little corner.

Time passes in the same way for everyone, although not all of us pass time in the same way. For me, time has collapsed within four walls and the only indication of its existence is the sunlight that rises with each new dawn, ignoring my existence. Three days have passed and, like the previous ones, Silis opens the door that confines me three times a day, leaves the tray with food and removes the previous one even without touching.

The guards guarding me have not given us a chance to speak again, although she tries. My body is weaker every day, it is only sustained by water and the occasional bite that I force myself to swallow just to survive, but nothing more.

I see your concern for me when you leave, but I can do nothing, I myself can no longer do anything for myself. If my destiny is to be locked up here for life, I'd better die once and for all.

It's a little more than noon, the door opens and I feel my heart beating out of control, seized by fear at the uncertainty of the future that awaits in a not too distant time in which perhaps they will end up taking what little is left of me .

Kiara walks into the room, not far from the door.

__ Soon someone will come to prepare you, you should be ready. You'll be leaving in a few hours.

I lift my gaze from the ground and look at him in horror. What do you mean I'm leaving?

__ What are you talking about? __ I ask confused.

__ Today you will leave here, it is already decided. It is the best for everyone __. He watches me without his features wavering, while I try to make sense of his words.

__ This is my home __. Anger spoils his face.

__ No, this is my house and the decision is not up for discussion.

A feeling of helplessness, anger, mixed with pain invades me, gives me the strength that I lack to stand up. Even two steps forward, a guard appears making his warning very clear.

__ You can't do that, this is my home __ I remember him raising his eyebrows in puzzlement, he can't do this to me, he won't do this.

__ I can Suhaila, I can and I will __ he challenges getting a little closer, but still with caution.

How can you? Who is believed to do that?

__ I don't expect you to understand. What can you understand? __ His gaze passes over my body in a clear gesture of disdain __. Until a few days ago I had a life. A husband she loved and with whom she would make a home. But it was only enough that I came here to see how you were. My generosity cost me dearly.

__ Do you blame me? __ I can't help looking at him in disbelief at his words.

__ Yes, because if I had not done it, my life would not be this hell that I am going through these days __. Go forward looking at me full of hatred.

__ Hell? __ I laugh with all the hypocrisy I can. __ Do you want me to tell you what it's like to live in hell? Let me enlighten you Kiara.

__ I lost both of my parents when I was only a child, I was left alone, because my only relative hated me for no reason. He would always hit me or call me names, no matter how hard I tried to please him. The only love I found was in the people who work under this roof, they took care of me and educated me as they could. When I turn sixteen, my sick brother decides to abuse me. Can your mind understand what that can make you feel? He destroyed me, took my innocence and every trace of happiness, he was my brother and I loved him. My only family was the reason for my fears and nightmares. By refusing to please him, he took away my birthright by making me a slave. Do you have an idea what I've had to go through all these years? Of course not, what are you going to know?

__ What do you want me to do? What left you here under my roof, so that my life is a hell like yours?

__ A few days ago you reproached me for not telling you the truth, and now you do this to me? You take me away from the only thing I have as if I was the one to blame.

__ You do not understand. I have to do it! __ explodes in anger as if she is the victim here __. Because now I know what I don't want to know __ his voice trembles, as if breathing were difficult __. Because I prefer the lie I lived in, because this truth is tearing me apart.

__ What about me? What about my pain? __ I bite my lip to contain the cry that chokes in my gut. It burns like acid furrowing my veins, it poisons everything in its path, it unleashes an incessant pain that, when not contemplated in the skin, hurts deeper.

__ Sorry __. His words are as farcical as his life, I take a moment to look at him, his cold gaze is fixed on me __. But I can't worry about you, not when I have to take care of myself. I can only smile reluctantly __. After all you and Leceth deserve each other. They are such for which.

Kiara takes a step backwards, her lips tightening, it seems to hurt like she has slapped him.

__ If that's what you want to think, that's fine by me __. He runs his hand through her perfectly well-combed golden hair as if some strand has come out __. The decision has been made, in a few hours you will be handed over to Mikael Bernardi Laurentiis, you will be a sign of good will. You will seal the new partnership he has acquired with our family.

__ How? __ I pounce on her, the guard intervenes and submits my hands behind my back preventing me from reaching her __. How could they? After everything I've been through, now they trade me as merchandise.

It is difficult for me to hear my own breathing, the scandal of my heartbeat threatening to leave my chest prevents it. I'm surprised that it hasn't exploded and is still beating, that it's still alive, if that's what you can call this. The pain crosses my chest in an inhuman way, it destroys every part of my being, it pulverizes everything in its path, leaving me with nothing, only broken and lifeless pieces.

It is strong and incessant, to the point of unleashing an uncontrollable desire to scream, and thus somehow calm all the anger that eats away at me, I do it, only this time it is not enough. I fight the guard to free myself and take his neck in my hands.

__ There is nothing you can do to avoid it, so you better resign yourself __. His words are daggers digging into my skin, delving deeper and deeper.

I lunge at her with all my might, but I can't get close, at least not close enough to hurt her, but to scare her so much that she runs as far away from me as possible.

The guard pushes me as far away from him as he can, I fall back against the bed and it takes me only seconds to compose myself. He looks at me analyzing my movements, he knows I am not going to stay still, so he comes out and closes the door to put distance between his face and my nails.

I feel so angry that I just want to take what is causing this pain and tear it apart to stop it. I want to end everyone who has caused me so much damage. But I can do nothing, nothing more than to continue here unloading my pain with everything that crosses my path between these walls that imprison me.

But even so, the pain slowly consumes me, until it is clear to me that, regardless of my anger, even though it is unfair, I cannot change it, because I am nobody, I am nothing.