Chapter One: Lena's Brilliant Stars

Lena's P.O.V

Three words. They're at the tip of my tongue, desperate to come out. I'm not so sure what those words are but I can tell I've felt them in my heart for such a long time now. Especially when I think of that night.

It was a perfect summer's night with a cool breeze and a sky full of brilliant stars. I specifically remember the stars that night because I spent so much time staring at them as I waited on somebody. Somebody I used to know really well, but now he actively avoids me when I so much as look in his direction, even though that somebody was my best friend. We spent every day together since we were six years old. It felt like the two of us were the only two in the world.

So of course on the day of that perfect summer's night, we agreed to meet up at the big oak tree, that laid in the center of town, so we could walk to the festival together. For once in my life, I actually got there before him but it turns out I would end up waiting and waiting and waiting.

He never showed up and I wound up looking at the stars for what seemed like forever. Hence the brilliant stars that are now burned into my mind.

Depressing. That's how the story of the two of us ends forever. Not one call during the summer, not one wave as we entered the halls of the same high school, just nothing. That summer's night, thirteen years old, I never heard one word from my best friend again.

I wish he would at least smile. It doesn't have to be directed at me or anything, it doesn't even have to be authentic. I just want to see him smile because whenever I pass him in the halls or glance at him all the way from the other side of a random class we have together he always looks so guilty. Which is unlike that happy kid I used to know. Or maybe he was never happy and just some sad kid whose mask finally slipped off. Maybe that's why he stopped talking to me. Was it just that he was so sick of pretending?

I wish I knew why. I feel like I am unable to say goodbye and move on and it weighs heavily on my chest. Is that what I want to say? Goodbye?

No. Goodbye is only one word and it doesn't roll off my tongue so easily.

Those three words won't leave me alone. It's as if I have a slight headache eating away at my brain every day like I'm being punished for forgetting something I knew all along. But once I'm close, I forget what I'm supposed to say.

"There you are." Prim walks towards me in a stultified manner, "what are you doing waiting by the gate? Class begins in less than three minutes." She grabs my hand and we enter the school.

"I forgot."

"Of course you did," she sighs, "didn't Alexa wake you up this morning?"

Alexa is my younger sister. She and I live alone in a small townhouse not too far from this highschool. Today is her first day of freshman year and my first day of junior year. Yet even though I'm close to three years older than her it's more like she's the older one always taking care of me.

I try my best but I often forget to do simple things like wake up on time and I'm not such a good cook so Alexa always ends up doing it. She says it doesn't bother her and she's happy to do it but I can't help to feel like dead weight sometimes.

"No, she went to school early to help Ms. White set up the class." Alexa likes to help Ms. White before and after school sometimes. Ms.White has been one of Alexa's favorite teachers for as long as I can remember. She taught her in the 2nd grade and then again in seventh. Now that Ms. White has moved up to teaching highschoolers this year it looks like she might get a chance to have her again.

"And you couldn't manage to get up on time for school yourself? Or brush your hair?"

"I guess not," I smile.

We manage to make it inside the classroom before the bell rings.

"Take your seats," a familiar voice instructs. I turn to see it's none other than Ms. White. Wearing her usually floral dress making her look elegant and gentle like always. For a moment those three words almost come to the surface for some reason.

Why was I just so close to saying them? And why did I forget again?

"Move," Prim tells Gabe, "didn't I tell you that seat is for Alexa?"

"I know, I know," Gabe sighs getting up, "I was just messing with you."

"Cute Gabe," Prim pokes unenthusiastically.

I take my seat after Gabe scoots past me to the next column taking his desk seat not too far from us. I put my backpack down and unzip the front pouch.

"Aren't you getting crazy deja vu?" Prim turns around asking me in a hushed whisper.

I begin to dig through my pouch searching for a pencil before finally grabbing one, "what do you mean?"

Ms. White begins to scribble something on the board.

"I don't know but doesn't this all just remind you of the eighth grade."

I freeze at the comment, the aura starting to feel so familiar ergo why I am feeling those words scream at me more than ever.

"Our teacher is Ms. White just like it was back then and she even cut her bangs back. Not to mention that the members of our class are almost identical to how it was back then."

Prim gestures around the classroom proving that she's right. Almost all the students from that eighth-grade class are in here at this moment three years later. I notice all of my classmates as the thought of the eighth grade comes rushing back towards me. I look around the room hoping to see one face.

I dropped the pencil I had finally grabbed.

"Hey, are you okay?" Prim questions

The one I waited on looking at those brilliant stars, the someone I used to know back then is sitting in the back of the classroom, chin resting on his hand staring at the clock at the front of the classroom. Looking as guilty and as sad as ever, impatiently waiting to rush out of here.

Now, I know why those three words came rushing back. Ms.White writing the lesson down on the chalkboard, Gabe and Prim teasing each other fussing over who's sitting where, and the kid with messy black hair sitting at the back of the class hardly looking at me. It all reminds me of back then.

And that memory makes my heart hurt so bad.