Chapter four: What Broke Alexas Heart

Alexa's P.O.V.

He's always been there. So close yet so far away from me. The guy I like. I'm lucky that I get to be closer to him than most people do. The problem is that it's not in the way most girls would want. He's my older sister Lena's best friend. So to Gabe, I'm just Lena's little sister.

Believe me I tried to get closer to him. When I heard that he was helping Ms. White organize before school some mornings, I started getting up early to help as well. Hoping to get closer to him, to set myself apart from Lena. Maybe destroy the nickname Little Len. However I could not destroy the image of being Lenas little sister. I couldn't even destroy the image of being little. Believe me, I've tried for the past three years.

So all I can do is watch him continue to look past me because I know that he will never see me in a romantic light. I'm just some little kid that just started high school.

"Little Len," a familiar voice calls out to me. I turn around to see it's Jessie, Gabe's cousin. I did say I tried getting close to Gabe in every way possible. Yet befriending his younger cousin stuck me in this little box even more. At this point, I don't know if I'll ever be able to climb out of it.

"I told you not to call me that. We're the same age." I keep walking and he matches my pace.

"Sorry, it just suits you so well," he chuckles.

"Haha," I respond in a monotone manner. He's messing with me.

The two of us couldn't be more different. He's a jokester and a social butterfly while I'm a pessimist who likes to keep to myself. I'm not even sure why we keep each other's company but to us there is no one else we'd rather hangout with because we are the only one who knows what it's like to be seen as little.

Jessie has an interest in someone who won't even look his way. Prim captured his heart three years ago when she told him his backpack was unzipped when he moved here in the sixth grade. He says he can't explain how or why he's liked her all these years but the fact is that he just does.

"How was this morning?" He questions obviously inquiring about Gabe.

"Well I'm still Little Len if that answers your question."

Jessie starts to laugh, "you're going to be stuck in that little sister zone for life if you don't hurry up and confess."

I hit the back of his head, "well at least I have a zone! Prim doesn't even know you exist."

"Ouch. Let's not get defensive 'kay?"

"Then let's not get offensive."

"Fine we're even."

We come across the intersection in the road where we usually part ways to go to our separate houses. I pause but he continues to walk straight, opposite to his house.

"Where are you going?"

"Your house."

"What are you going to do if she shows up?"

Jessie hates going over to my place. Since my sister and I live alone she's free to bring Prim and Gabe over whenever she wants. Which would be a dream come true if Jessie didn't turn into a nervous wreck everytime Prim comes around.

He turns around looking me straight in the eye, "this year's different Alexa I feel it. We finally go to the same school as them again. We can finally get closer to them. Get excited!"

"Get realistic," I correct walking past him heading towards my house, "fine you can come but only if you work on that summer homework you didn't finish."

"How'd you know I didn't finish?"

"I didn't before I heard that response."

"Lies," Jessie threatens, "you have no faith in me. Jokes on you because I've already completed it."

"Really?"

"Yup, last night."

"Wow," I respond monotonically, giving him a fake round of applause.

"Told you this year is going to be different."

He says that every year but maybe this time he's actually right. We finally go to the same school as the two of them. Maybe things will change but of course I will never tell Jessie that he's right.

"Hey do you think-" Jessie stops in his tracks staring dead ahead of him causing me to stop too, frightened.

All of a sudden Jessie grabs me and pulls me into some nearby bushes.

"Hey what are y-"

"Shh," he insists desperately. I look at his face, it's not many times I get that warning look from him so instead of mouthing him off like I usually would in any other situation I do as he says and keep hushed.

"Gabe you're kind of freaking me out." Immediately I realize it's my sister, Lena, and Gabe talking.

They always talk, they are two out of the three best friends who talk all the time. Jessie's instincts were right though, even though I'm crossing my fingers so hard I know what's about to happen.

"Lena you don't need to freak out," Gabe insists.

"The way you said that makes it seem like something I need to be nervous about."

Gabe laughs nervously.

"Shit," I whisper, burying my face in my knees.

"It's just that, I uh," Gabe stutters.

Just say it already. Rip off the bandaid. Break My Heart.

"I like you."

"What?" Lena questions, "oh you mean like friends right?"

Stupid.

"...more than friends."

"Oh."

I can't take anymore of this. I stand up from the bushes and begin to runoff.

I run hard and fast. Until I'm sure they can't see me. I wind up in a neighborhood a couple blocks from my own and collapse in front of a house. I lean myself up against a fence catching my breath before bursting into tears.

I bury my face into the pavement watching my tears turn the road a dark grey. I stay like this for a while. A weeping miserable mess until I see a pair of feet right in front of me.

It's Jessie. I assume when he drops his soccer bag.

"It's not fair. It's not fair that I'm Little Len," I catch my breath after choking on another sob, "It's not fair that I'm Little Len. Even Prim calls you Jessie and she hardly even knows you exist."

"Alexa I-" he starts.

"And how come she didn't know? How come Lena gets everything. How come the guy I like confessed to her?"

"Lil- I uh- Alexa."

My eyes grow wide realizing what I've done. I look up finally realizing that I accidently vented my true feelings to, not Jessie but Gabe.