Day 2- HA KA SAW

This guy won't know what hit him. "HA!" I screamed so loud my throat got a bit sore. I pointed to Chris. "KA!" He pointed back to me. "SAAWW!" I pointed to Lionel who was directly in front of me. The game went on and one by one, people were out. I never understand what was so confusing about this game, was it the screaming or them just not focusing because this game needed both. But I understand, this is one game that's not for the faint of heart. The remaining five now were Chris, Lionel, Damien, Trevor and I. I am usually always the only female to make it this far and win. "Are you guys ready to lose to me again?" I asked the guys. "You should be asking Trevor that, we admitted defeat when we started this game." Damien said. " yeah, please go easy on the guy, he's still new this and to you. Try to dial it down a bit." I dramatically gasped. I'm gobsmacked that Lionel just said such a thing. "Excuse you?! Trevor knew this was intense when we saw that grade eight kid crying, I'm the undefeated champion biatches. I'm not going to dial it down just to protect some guy's pride and ego." I look to the handsome devil and I put on my ' don't mess with me face ', I've been told its looks scary. " I hope you aren't a cryer Mr. You messed with me when you should have kept your mouth shut. Now you will face my wrath." He knew I was also talking about this morning. "Ppssht, you guys talk as if talk as if she's an Olympic champion or something." "Trust me, she would be if she could, if this was an Olympic game." I have to say, I honestly love it when the guys talk about me like this, its flattering. They make me so sound so badass. "Okay, no more talking, let's do this!" I crack my knuckles as if I'm about to punch someone. I wish that someone was him, but unfortunately, this camp has a no violence rule. "HA" Lionel started the game, pointing to Damien. "KA" Damien points to Chris. "SAW" Chris brings it to Trevor. There were people gathering around us to watch. This time, Damien was the first one out, followed by Lionel. So the remaining three were Chris, Trevor and I . This guy can hold his own, I give him that. Now the game has begun. I look to Chris as if mentally telling him, "let's play this game our way now" Thankfully , he got the message. This guy is the best friend ever. This time we start twice as fast and twice as loud, and before we knew it, Trevor was out, which means Chris and I won again. "Aaww don't be a sore loser Trev, your time will come." Anger was clear on his face. One point for me, zero for Trevor.

later on in the day the day, after all the tiring activities, we finally had our chill time, before dinner, I love this time of day, conversations get interesting around this time. I don't know what it is, but there's just something about this time that excites people to want to talk a lot, and argue, especially when it comes to relationship topics and religious ones. Me being me, I obviously am part of the loud party, I don't do it on purpose, believe me, it's just, in order to be heard here, you have to talk over everyone else, because they won't give you enough room to say your say. The topic for this evening was anger, and what brings the emotion to the surface. That was my type of stuff, I've written personal things about emotions before, and it was time to shine now. I climbed on the chair I was sitting on and I whistled as loud as could, calling everyone's attention. "I know that we are so used to talking over each other, but it has to stop now. I understand we are excited and we all want to be heard, but this is not the way, let's give each other a chance to say what we want to say so that we all listen and understand each other properly. Now I heard some of you guys talking about anger. You know, someone's therapist once told them that, ' your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment and abuse are unacceptable. Your anger knows you deserve to be treated well, and with kindness. Your anger is a part of you that loves you.' That was eye opening for me. A lot of us grew up being told that anger is bad , and you shouldn't feel such an emotion. I always thought of it as something that'll make me kill someone because that's what I saw on TV. What I didnt realise though is that ,anger that is kept in and not spoken out is very dangerous. What those murderers felt wasn't just normal anger, it was rage that was bottled for so long that they just lost it. The only way for them to release was through physical abuse, because nobody listened to them, nobody wanted to listen to them. The problem though is that they lost a part of themselves in every body they slaughtered to death, thus sinking them deeper into an abyss of nothingness." At this point I realised I was losing myself into what I was saying, everything was silent around me. "Anger shouldn't be the bad, dangerous feeling that is quieted and pushed away. Welcome the feeling. It's your brain's way of telling you that 'this is not okay' whether it be for you or for the people around you. Accept the emotion as your loud, unapologetic friend who doesn't want you to put up with bull. It's also important to remember that anger is a healthy response to injustice. I'm not saying that it should be used to hurt, abuse or incite violence, or just be taken out on others. Anger means a boundary was crossed , and it's not a negative emotion. It's a necessary one that we need to find a healthy outlet for, instead of just bottling it up. Actually, you'll find that those who are on the receiving end of pent up rage are less likely to use it as a healthy tool for themselves in a later stage in their lives. It becomes something dangerous to avoid or suppress." I finally look up, even though I'm still lost in my thoughts."This is just my own journey with anger. Some may find this helpful, some might disagree with me on this, and both are okay. We all go through different obstacles in our lives. This is just my perspective and my new understanding for this..weird emotion. I've found myself feeling a lot of anger these past days, and sometimes I just don't know why. I haven't found the outlet that works for me, I don't know when I'll find it. But I I hope the rest of you have found yours, especially if you fear that you might hurt someone. Scream into the pillow, or go find an empty field so that you can scream until your lungs drop. Cry, laugh, sing, dance, act it out. Speak if you feel you're treated badly. Speak for other people too. JUST DO SOMETHING, and don't keep it in. And for those who are scared of feeling rage and anger because of abusive people in their lives. You are seen, you are heard. Just know that your pain is/was not justified or okay. Channeling your anger into something positive is a huge step into moving forward, you should try it, and see how it works out. I'm not a therapist , or a psychologist. I'm also not saying I know people and how they they're feeling. This is my understanding, my opinion."

By the time I finished and looked up, there was definitely more people than what there were originally, did my whistle really go that far? I even got the attention of some of the teachers.They were all still looking silently at me, some even had tears in their eyes. One pair of eyes that I felt burning into my flesh were Trevor's. While staring at each other, there were so many emotions flashing through his, the most prominent one being astonishment. He almost also had a look of pride in his eyes too. I heard a clap, and then another, and soon everyone was clapping for me. I just stood there shocked and thinking 'damn I'm good. I could be a motivational speaker if I was up for it. I just smiled and walked away, and I noticed Trevor coming at me. "HEY, WAIT UP." should I wait, I mean he is a jerk, but everyone deserves a second chance right? So I wait for him, reluctantly so. "Hey" he breathes out as he gets closer to me. "Hey" I greet back "what's up?" "Nothing really, just wanted to check on you. I heard everything you said said over there, it was really amazing. You definitely have me a new perspective on anger." I felt the butterflies in my stomach, and I slowly tear my gaze away from him. Why is it so hot all of a sudden. "Thank you for that. I appreciate it." Oh my godess was I blushing, really. I never blush. "Yeah, it was really amazing." He rubs the back of his head. "Anyway, are you staying for dinner?" "Yeah I am, I just went need to go get my stuff." "I could walk with you to your room....I mean I could walk you to your room if you'd like?" "Uhmm...yeah, I'd like that. Cool. Let's go then." "Yeah sure , lead the way." So I walk ahead with him right behind me, and I mean, right behind. I could feel his body beat, making my heart beat quicken a little. We finally get to my room, and he waits by the door while I get inside to get my cutlery. The door was positioned that anyone from the outside could see everything inside, so he could all the beds. But at it's not like our room is dirty , so it's fine. I walk to the door, switching the light of before I step out, but that never happened because I tripped. I almost fell, luckily my knight in shining armor was there to save me. He wrapped his one arm around my waist and brought me up, closer to him. Closer to his gorgeous face, and plump lips. Standing up straight, we stayed in that position, his arm still around my waist,and I have no idea where his other arm is. We are so close to each other that I could smell his breath, also knowing that he recently had sweet chilli doritos. Do you think they're his favourite, like they are mine? While thinking this, he brought his face closer to me, and I just let him. Our lips were just five centimeters away from touching when a very weird smell disturbed us. Smelled like rotten eggs. I hear him inhaling deeply and then coughing. "Oh my gosh, where does that smell come from?" I could hear the look of disgust from his voice. The smell was inside the room, I know this because as soon as we stepped outside, the air was fine. I suddenly stop when I realised something. He didnt even realise that i stopped. Thank goodness for that.

I just farted.