Chapter 14: How We Broken Up!

After several days, I didn't realize that the week-long vacation period had come to an end. That means our time to spend together was over. I know this time will come eventually and I admit that my feelings were very anxious.

On that last day, we going back home. He sends me back that day. On our way back, we only just stay silent in the car and just talking like usual. But in the deep in our heart, we actually have many things to say to each other, but we only keep it ourselves.

Neither I nor he started to say about the farewell. We just treat our last day with a long conversation that not related to our relationship.

I know this will be the last time I will see him. I don't know if I really can let him go. But I know that I can't be selfish and stop his own career. I truly happy to see him doing what he wants in his life... just... after this, I can't be near with him anymore.

Jessa! Just hold your tears. Don't show it to him. Just enjoy this time previously. Whatever happens, you must smile genuinely at him.

"Jessa, we arrived." He said softly while look at her deeply. She didn't hear it and still thoughtful.

"Jessa... " He calls her again while touching her shoulder gently.

"Huh? Oh, we reached already." She said in a puzzle.

"Jessa, wait! " He pulls her hand.

"What?" Jordyn suddenly feels anxious and she knows the time has come. Finally, Simon wants to talk to her about that.

"Can I talk with you for a while?"

"Umm... okay, sure."

"I park my car here first, then we walk and talk at the playground near there."

"Oh, okay. "

After a minute, we arrived at the playground near my neighborhood area. I headed towards the cradle there and sat down.

"Let me swing you." He said.

"Okay, don't too faster."

''Okay, I don't.'' He smirks a little.

Both of them silent for a while and just feel the wind of the breeze on that day.

"Emm... your flight is early tomorrow morning, right?

"Mmm. yes."

"Did you prepared all your things?"

"Mmm, yes."

"So, you will busy with your project after arrived there?"

"Mmm, yes."

"Will you miss me if you get there?''

"Mmm, yes!

"So, did you. . . decide. . to break up with me after today?''

"Mmm, yes! Wait! What you saying??'' He shocked by her question.

He stopped swinging her and move his way toward her. He was standing in front of her and lowered himself to face her. Jessa just lowered her face and don't want even to look at him. She didn't dare to face him.

"Jessa...can you tell me what you really mean by that question?"

"Mmm... "

"Can you look at me?''

I just shook my head slowly and didn't dare to look at him.

"Please... "

I still shook my head as I still didn't want to face him. Then he slowly lifts up my face and touched it with his warm hand. As I didn't realize that I already shed tears. I can't hold my tears anymore and my heart was really hurt at that time.

''Why you ask me that question? Did you...?''

''Karson...I have read a message from Ariel that day. I know about the offer...''

"Jessa...I know what I'm saying later will hurt you... but before that, I hope you can understand what I really mean."

I stop crying and bravely look into his eyes. I'm waiting for what he will say to me.

"Jessa, honestly I said... I admit that I get that offer to work there permanently but I have not yet told them my real answer. I still confused about my decision. I actually already waiting for that offer for a long time.'' He makes a deep breath before continuing his word.

''I have a dream to become a doctor surgeon and I love to gain my experience with them there because it will help me better with my profession. I know if I accept their offer...I maybe don't have time to come back here and it maybe will take a long time.'' He added.

"I guess... that you really have your own plan about your own future. I am happy to hear what you said about your dream job...I know you are someone that really wants to do the best in what you want. I'm proud of you...but...I just realized that I not even in part of your plan in the future.'' She said with her teary eyes.

''Jessa...no...I didn't mean like that. I...'' He can't finish his word.

''I thought you will put me a little part in your life...even a little I will feel grateful. But...I don't think I will fit in yours...''

''Jessa, please don't say like that. This just about my choice of career. I of course want to be with you...I really waiting for that time to come and be with you forever. But now, I just want to focus on my career. I had to choose this way in order to be with you in the future.''

''No, it's okay Karson. I understand what you want and I really support your decision on this. I will not stop you to go there and be with me here. I respect your choices.'' I give her my sincere smile.

''Jessa, I know right now you just finished your studies and I believe that you also have your own dream job you want to do. I don't want us wasting our time just do nothing and the most important is... if we still in a relationship... we will be in pain when we far from each other. I don't want to make your heart hurt because of me...''

''So you mean our relationship before was wasting your time? You said that you don't want us to be more hurt in the future??'' She suddenly feels angry to hear about that.

''Jessa...I don't mean like that. Just listen to me...''

"It's okay... I understand. You don't have to explain to me anymore." I want to run away from there but he firstly grabs both of my hands.

He looks deeply into my eyes but I already feeling hurt in my heart. I don't have the courage to face him anymore. My heart was in hurt at that time.

He slowly moves his face to me and said, "Jessa... I love you... I care about you. I seriously said that I don't want to let you go out from me...I want to be with you today, tomorrow, and forever..."

''Can I ask you a question for the last time?''

Simon just stays silent and waiting for the question. ''If I ask you to not accept that offer. . . and stay with me here, will you?" I ask him fiercely.

"Jessa, I'm sorry that I hurt you by all of this but..."

''Okay! I get my answer. You don't have to worry, I already fully prepared myself to face this all. I know that soon or later...we will not going to continue our relationship.''

''Jessa...can we say this farewell with a good term? I don't want to make you sad and crying after this.''

''No, you don't have to think like that. I will not be sad...I'm okay with this.'' I give him a smile.

''Are you mad with me? Can I stay with you tonight for the last time?''

''Huh? No! No need. I'm okay. I didn't mad at you. Anyway, Karson...thank you for everything you do for me, and thanks for giving me a memorable moment.''

''Thank you too, Jessa.''

''It's late now, I have to go back now. You can go back too to your hotel.''

''Okay, let us go back there.''

Both of us walking on my way back home and he walks into his car. When I near to reached my apartment gate, he suddenly calls me.

''Shorter!''

I was surprised and turning back toward him. ''Huh? You call me?''

''Oh, you still remember your nickname.'' He chuckled a little.

I just give him a glare. '' What you want?''

''Can you come here for a while? I have something to give to you.''

I slowly walking toward him and waiting what he wants to give me. He takes something inside his car and there was a small box in his hand. I was curious what is that.

''I know...it kinda weird to give you something even we already broke up, but...I have to give you this because I originally design this for you and made it just for you.'' He opens up the box and takes out the necklace. It was a silver necklace with a sunflower pendant.

''Why you must give me this? I don't think I should receive this.''

''It's okay, you have to. You don't have any choice because I specially made this for you. But, it depends on you if you want to throw it or keep it. I hope you will take this.'' He said while giving it and put it in my hand.

''But, Karson...I...''

''No more talk. Just take it. Okay, you can go back now...bye...take care of yourself, Jessa.'' He gently rubbing her hair. He still didn't want to leave her actually...

I just nod my head and give him a genuine smile. I was holding back my tears and don't want to shed tears in front of him again. I took the step with a heavy heart and thinking for a while. I stop at the middle way.

''Karson!'' I shouted call of his name. Simon was shocked and he standing there with a puzzle.

I run toward him and standing in front of him. ''Karson, can I hug you?''

''You don't have to need my permission to do that.'' He said and quickly pull me into his arms.

Both of us were hugging each other there and we forget for a while that we have already broken up. No matter what happened, I was very grateful then because I knew ... we both deeply in love with each other.

*************

{A letter by Simon Karson: }

Dear, My Shorter...

I know you will mad with my decision after this...but believe me... every decision I choose and make it all for you. Even though we are far apart and no longer together... you have to remember that I only love you. I know the options I choose after this will hurt your heart so I want to apologize first and make you in pain about thinking of me all the time.

Love...

In the future, if we meet with each other and if one of us changed...please, please...recall back our memories and our moment of love together. Jessa...I hope you can wait for me to come back no matter what happens and no matter how long it takes.

I hope you will remember me...and our deep feeling for each other.

Yours Love Karson.