Chapter 13: Our True Feelings-(The Pain Only We Know)

The next morning, I woke up and saw Simon was not by my side. I got up and looked for him around but he was nowhere to be seen. I wonder where he went been.

Suddenly, I heard a message on his phone. He must be forgotten to bring his phone. I thought. I picked up his phone and wanted to see who was sending the message. But then, it shows Ariel's name on it and at the same time, I was shocked to read the message sent by Ariel. I was dazed for a moment. This means that his return this time is really for the last time.

After half an hour, Simon was coming.

"Jessa? Where are you?"

"Hi! I just finished taking a shower."

"Oh... no wonder I smell a good fragrant."

"Did you going out to buy the food?"

"Yeah. Come, let us eat first."

"Okay."

I casually take my seat and started to eat. For some time I take a glimpse at him. I actually still thinking about the messages from Ariel earlier. I didn't know how to ask him about that...I do not dare even to ask him, the truth is I afraid to know that he will leave me...Would this mean we really ended our relationship after this vacation end?

"Jessa??''

''Are you daydreaming?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry... "

"You don't like this food?"

"No, no... I like it." I had to hold my tears. I don't want to ruin our time together for this time.

"So, did you decide what will we do today?"

"Umm... let try all activities on this beach!"

"Are you sure? Aren't you tired after that?"

"It's okay, we must not wasting our time!"

"But we still have left 5 days more..."

"I still have many things to do with you."

"Oh, okay... I follow you."

Thereafter, we went out and take a walk at the seaside. I always remind myself to not ask him anything about that and I will wait for him to tell me his real decision.

''Karson...give me your hand.''

''Why?''

''I need you to do something.'' I give him a pen and a paper.

''Why you give me these things? What you want me to do?''

''I have it too. Right now, I want us to write something that we want to say to each other but we are too afraid to tell it directly.''

Simon feels a little surprised to hear that and he tries to make a calm face. He feels strange why she want to do that.

''I don't think I have anything that I afraid to tell you...''

''Are you sure? Why don't you thinking by yourself first? Or did you have something secret to tell me when you at abroad there?'' I try to tease him.

''Did we really need to do this?''

''Yes! Please...'' I make a cute face at him.

''Okay...okay! You win!'' He rubs gently my hair.

After a few minutes, we have done with our writing. Then, I put each of our notes into a bottle.

''After this, what you would do?'' Simon asks curiously.

''Umm... come follow me.'' I took him to a hut near the beach. There is a tree next to the place.

''Why we here?''

''Normally, we always see some people will throw this into the beach, but I decided to plant this bottle under a tree here. So that, we can come here later to take this.''

''Why you want to plant it here? Why don't you just bring this and keep it with you?''

''I don't want...I want to put it here. So that, we can come here again later and read it together.'' I give him a smile.

Simon feels a little uneasy after hear Jordyn said to come there again later.

''Mmm...I don't know when will I can come here again.''

''It's okay! We just wait when both of us to have time to come here together. I can wait for you anytime you free.''

''If I didn't return back here again?''

''Mmm...I will wait too even if I have to wait longer than that. Because I believe you will come here again with me in any way happen.''

He just gives me a smile and looking at me with his sad eyes. I can tell that he already decide what will be his choice after this. I must hold myself to not avert about what he really wants to do. After all, at this time we still young and of course we want to choose what we want to do first for our future.

''Jessa...I love you...'' Simon suddenly expresses his feeling.

''Emm...why you said that suddenly?''

''I just want you to know that I really love you with all my heart. I want you to know that I will love you for today, tomorrow...and forever.'' He said that while holding her hand gently.

''I love you for today, tomorrow, and forever too,'' I said to him with my teary eyes. I really can't hold anymore my tears. I was too emotional at that time.

He slowly moves closer to me and hugs me tightly. He kisses my head softly. Lastly, I shed tears on his arms and I can't hold it anymore. Why did I think that he really will leave me after this? Why dont we just be like this and be together whatever things will happen.

''Jessa...can you promise me something?''

''What is that?''

''If I am not by your side after this, please take good care of yourself. And if one day...I tell you that I didn't love you anymore and I had to leave you...please don't believe it.''

''If I want to believe it...are you really going to leave me?''

He just silent and didn't even answer my question and he just hugs me tightly there. At the moment, I already prepared myself to hear his words later when our times were going to be ended.

''Karson...even though we far away from each other and if one day we really had have to end our relationship...I will still cheer for what you want to do. I will understand whatever reasons you will say to me. Dont worry...I will not hate you.''

''Jessa...thank you for not hating me and I'm sorry if I hurt you...'' He said with his deep soft voice. He really feels guilty for her but he actually still confused with his decisions.

Simon actually got an offer to continue working abroad after he finishes his medical studies. The reason he still confused and didn't know how to say to Jordyn is the offer he got was working there for a long-lasting time.