Episode 79 - Forever

Amari walked Yangyang into his bedroom, shutting the door behind them. In the past week, he had purchased two lamps and placed them on each end table. The darkness was fine for him, but Yangyang always complained he couldn't see Amari well enough. It was a weird feeling, buying lamps for that purpose, since he never had any desire to be seen before.

He clicked on one of the lights and sat Yangyang on the bed, then grabbed his Gibson from the corner.

"What are you doing?"

Amari just gestured for him to shift back and stretch his legs forward. Guitar in hand, he crawled over him, knees on the bed, sitting on his thighs, with just enough room between them to play. He checked the tuning, picking at the strings with a smile.

"I was contemplating on the walk here whether this's a good time to give you your birthday present. But, I think maybe now's the best time." He plucked a few chords, getting more comfortable. "You know I'm not really good at expressing my feelings, so I've gotta do this with a song." Amari cleared his throat, pushing away the nerves, and started strumming.

Months ago, he had chosen Ben Rector's Forever Like That for this moment, if this moment ever came. Forever was a long time to spend with someone, and the thought should be scary, but as he practiced the song over and over, Amari realized he'd never been more certain of anything. His young age and the amount of time the two had spent together didn't matter. However many times or ways he thought about it, the conclusion was always the same. This was how his life was meant to be.

Yangyang didn't move or say anything as he played, and he wished he could see even a hint of expression. In the dark, it was almost as if he was singing to himself, but there was that familiar smell, and he could feel Yangyang's thighs barely moving under him and barely hear his soft breathing. There were no nerves as he sang, only a peaceful happiness. The clash with Yangyang's mother disappeared and, for now, it was just them, alone together with no worries.

Amari stopped, letting the chords ring, then set the guitar down on the bed. Shifting forward, Yangyang reached out to grab his waist, helping him move closer. He reached into the pocket of his jeans, taking two small objects into a closed palm.

"It can't be official until your mother approves." His fist extended out to Yangyang, then slowly opened. "But, I think it's important for you to know. To be certain of how I feel."

He heard Yangyang take in a quick breath and searched out his hand, confidently slipping a ring made of wood and steel over his finger. "It's not fancy. I haven't got a lot of money, but we can get better ones later."

Yangyang took the smaller ring from Amari in one hand and pulled him in with the other, giving him a long, deep kiss. After putting the ring on his finger, he brought him tight to his chest.

Amari naturally wrapped his legs around Yangyang's waist and after a few seconds, tapped him lightly on the arm. "Yang ge. You've gotta say something. I can't see your expression and the silence's making me nervous."

Yangyang let out a breathy laugh and kissed him again, then rested his chin. "I have no idea what my expression is right now. I've never been this happy before."

He said that, but Amari felt him start to tremble and gently rubbed his back.

"It'll turn out well," he promised, wishing he could ease his fears and quiet his doubts. "But from now on, whatever it takes, we'll do everything together."

He felt him nod and continued to rub his back until he was calm. Giving him a soft kiss on the neck, Yangyang pulled him down as he shifted onto the bed, Amari laying on his chest, their legs entangled.

"I'm not too heavy?" he whispered, his head rising and falling with each of Yangyang's breaths.

"You weigh nothing." Yangyang crossed his arms over Amari's back and chuckled. "A Li, you're getting really good at singing love songs."

He smiled. "I know."

After a moment, he sighed, running a finger along Yangyang's chest and side.

"I guess my choices've been limited lately." Yangyang hummed in agreement. "I've gotta thank Ben though, since he always seems to know what I wanna say. It's not like I don't know any other songs, but his fit so perfectly." Amari giggled. "Maybe I should go find him. He might be my soulmate."

"You only get one soulmate," Yangyang replied with a huff. His voice was especially deep, knowing it was a joke but still taking it seriously.

Giggling again, Amari lifted his head, resting it on his hands. "Same for you. You can't get excited now that you're out and decide there's someone better."

"Better than you?" Yangyang laughed and propped himself up, moving his face close. "Yeah, right. I'm completely whipped in this relationship."

He kissed Amari, light at first, then more fiercely, flipping him over onto his back and boxing him in. Leaning down, his lips brushed against Amari's ear.

"Well, in everything except this," he teased, then ran his tongue down Amari's neck, biting him in the shoulder.

Fingers grasping his face, Amari's teeth found his lip, and Yangyang lifted him onto his lap. Then, with a familiar urgency, Amari's shirt was quickly pulled off and tossed away.

"Yang ge." He pressed a hand playfully over Yangyang's mouth. "You have to let me get ready first."

The urgency faded, the body in his arms slumping and groaning, and Amari grinned.

::Just a child in a man's body.::

-------------------------

Amari woke to a thin stream of light across the bed. It wasn't bright, but his eyes were used to waking in darkness and he growled, squinting. A figure cast a shadow over him and chuckled.

"Sorry. I know it bothers you, but I almost killed myself trying to get to the bathroom this morning." Yangyang crawled onto the bed, taking Amari's head in his arms to block the light. "The lamps on the end tables don't light the room up enough."

With another growl, Amari pulled away enough to speak. "It isn't like you live here," he grumbled. "Other than the few times you wake up to pee, why do you care?"

The ring around Amari's finger spun, Yangyang's touch warm against his skin.

"Perhaps you forgot, but you basically proposed to me last night." Yangyang kissed him on the forehead. "I'm not sure what you think that means, but two people in that kind of relationship usually end up living together and sharing a bedroom. Plus, wouldn't it be easier to adjust when you wake up, instead of trying to go from a pitch-black bedroom to a well-lit hallway?"

Too sleepy to give it much thought, Amari shrugged and snuggled up to him. "I s'pose. It probably doesn't matter. We'll just do whatever you want."

Yangyang hugged him tight, then spread himself out, sighing. "I'm so torn about this. I've been kicked out of my house and my son is being held captive, but I also love waking up to you in the morning." Amari smiled, resting his head on Yangyang's shoulder. "Do you have to work today?"

"I've got afternoon classes with the eight to tens." Slouching sideways, he stretched his legs, letting them dangle off the bed as he laid his head on Yangyang's stomach. "They moved the parenting group to Mondays. Do you wanna come with me tonight?"

"Yeah?" Yangyang sounded intrigued as he pet his short mohawk. "Alright. If you want me to."

Amari giggled and turned to look toward him. "Why wouldn't I want you to?"

"I don't know." A finger outlined Amari's face as Yangyang thought it over. "You never liked people focusing on your vision. And I don't know how much they know about us..."

"Yang ge, you're not people." He giggled again and crawled up to kiss him. "And how do you still not know me?" Taking his hand, he kissed him again. "That's the first thing they ask. 'Who's in your family?' 'How old's your child?' 'What're you hoping to get outta this group?' 'What're some of your challenges at home?' It's a support group, so it's not useful if you aren't honest." Amari paused and grinned. "And I'm always very honest."

"Oh." He hesitated, taking a quick breath. "Maybe you won't be comfortable though?"

Yangyang gave him a questioning hum and he shrugged.

"There're a couple of uptight, older women who don't seem thrilled my partner's a single-father. I can't know for sure, but their tone's usually condescending. Like a 'It's one thing for two men to be in a relationship, but a child needs a mother' kinda attitude?"

"Anyway, I don't really care," Amari continued, curling close to Yangyang's side. "Everyone else's nice. I'm not there to make friends, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

Yangyang rubbed Amari's back.

"It'll be alright," he supposed in his deep, kind, comforting voice. "I'll be there with you, so you can protect me. The one person I was afraid would find out already did, and who knows what jie has told her by now. Probably every detail of my life since I turned seventeen." Yangyang chuckled and then sighed, not pleased but lighter than Amari expected. "What a couple of uptight, middle-aged women think about my family doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Waaaa..." Amari wrapped an arm and leg around him. "Yang ge, you're so mature." There was a gentle punch in his side and he smiled. "So, does that mean I can hold your hand in public?"

Yangyang made a noise in agreement and Amari took his hand again, playing with his ring.

"And hug you? Kiss you? With tongue?"

Yangyang grabbed him and he giggled as he was pulled up onto his chest. "Let's not get carried away. Even if we weren't two men, people don't like seeing that stuff on the streets."

"Yeah, okay. You say that now, but you're so clingy, and now you've got no reason to keep secrets." He ran his finger along Yangyang's neck, then chest. "You won't be able to keep your hands off me."

Yangyang rolled him over, hovering above him, his hair brushing against Amari's cheek. "A Li," he said in a playful whisper. "You know me too well."

Lips kissed his ear, then neck, then Yangyang gently bit at his shoulder.

"Yang ge. We just changed the sheets." Lips stopped him from speaking and Amari let out a muffled giggle, fingers already sneaking under the waist of his boxer briefs.