Chapter 21

"Helios, you'll fit right in here. Do you guys want anything to eat? The restaurant is open and I want to see what they have." Jefferson walked towards the door.

"Nah, I'm not really in the mood for anything." Braxton stretched. "Thanks tho babe." He walked over and kissed Jay on the cheek before he sat down in the chair closest to the door.

"That's still requires some getting used to. Of all the time I've known Jay he's never been in a relationship. I'll take a glass of blood o positive if they have any." Eros took the spot Tyler had been sitting moments ago.

"Tell me about it. I'm fine thanks." I sighed as I sat up and let the twins attempt to crawl around.

---Renaes POV---

"Thanks guys, and thank you Mrs Jones. I think this will be better for all of us in the end." The leader of the witches told me her name was Olivia but she likes to go by Liv.

"Liv, call me Rae, I did this because I wanted to clear all vampires of hatred, all other mythological creatures was completely all the other gods decisions. I'm happy to have everyone here but it wasn't the original plan, I can tell you that for sure." I said as we walked back through the portal back to the one closest to the school.

"Two glasses of blood and an order of cheesecake!" I heard a witch call out as we walked through.

"We have customers already?" I smiled as I started walking downstairs.

"Thank you." I recognized that voice.

"Eros?"

"Rae? You're back already." He turned his head as I took my last step off of the stairs.

"Yeah, I just had to go through the portal, I'm just going to be managing these places but that's all I can do since I am only one person after all." I smirked.

"Should I make the order into three glasses of blood?"

"No, I'm fine. Granted I've had nothing to eat since Apollo took me, I'm good. I don't need to eat or drink anything thank you."

"Did you want to walk back together? It's a short walk but I figured we could at least talk."

"Sure, how much longer on his order?" I asked the witch turned waitress.

"Only a few more seconds. Blood is a bit harder to summon."

"I can show you later an easier way to create blood. It won't take so long, that way we can get everyone in and out as soon as possible."

"Yes ma'am. Here's your order. We'll see you tomorrow." She handed Eros two cups and a small bag.

"Are you okay Rae?" Eros asked as we walked out the front door.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you just haven't been able to slow down. Isn't any of this overwhelming for you? I know it would be for me if I were in your shoes."

"I guess it is a bit overwhelming but I've gotten used to it in little to no time. Maybe it's the fact I had more to do as a goddess on Olympus."

"What did you have to do while you were up, or over there?"

"Just say up there. I did a bunch of odd jobs mainly. The main thing I had to learn was how to heal the dying.. it broke my heart, I was unsuccessful most of the time. Luckily tho, Hades has been a really good friend. Zeus too but Poseidon was just.. he made me nervous whenever he was around."

"I've always heard Zeus was the intimidating one."

"In battle, yes but in any other aspect of life, he's like the best friend everyone strives to have. He's pushy and a dirty mind but he's really a good guy when you look at the big picture. Helios hates him because he striked his oldest son down for causing too much trouble but Helios has slowly gotten over it."

"I feel bad for him. I don't know what I'd do if someone tried to hurt my children."

"Lucky for you, no one would ever be able to hurt your kids now."

"I have you to thanks for that." He smiled as we stopped outside the door. I reached for the handle but hesitated before I could grab it. "What's the matter?"

"I- I don't know." My hands began trembling.

"Does it have anything to do with a certain old blonde vampire?"

"Maybe a little?" I searched the door hoping I could find my courage but I just couldn't find any shred of it.

"Want to talk about it? I can take this in real quick and I'll be back out in a minute and Adam won"t even know you were out here."

"Maybe talking will help me figure out what's wrong with me." I stepped away and leaned against a nearby tree as Eros walked in and came back out quickly.

"So, why are you still shaking?" He started sipping on the cup of blood.

"I wish I knew.."

"Hm, this tastes even better then normal blood. But when we started talking about your hesitation, I brought up Adam and you seemed gravitated to that so let's start there."

"I'm glad you like it. I don't know.. I wasn't trying to listen to him but when I'm on the forefront of his mind I can hear what he's thinking.. I tried to ignore it as soon as I realized he wasn't talking to me but.. it just bugs me."

"Did you hear him talking about how nothing's going to be the same?"

"Yeah.. One thought keeps popping up in my head like he just keeps telling me the same thing over and over again."

"What is he telling you?"

"He was thinking to himself. He was thinking of how I've changed.. I couldn't have changed that much could I?" I sat down next to the tree I was leaning against.

"We all changed in some way, somehow."

"Regardless, I'm just scared if I have changed, would Adam not want to be with me anymore?"

"Don't you even dare start talking like that. Adam loves you more then anything in this world. You can't just say that because you've changed a little bit." He sat down next to me and grabbed my hand.

"I'm just worried he won't feel the same about me. I think back to our wedding day and I can still feel my palms sweating. I wasn't nervous but I was scared.. Everyone that had been in my life before I came to my dad's left and I still have it drilled in my head that everyone will want to leave me at some point." I drew my knees to my chest feeling the tears try to fight through.

"Rae, do you know how broken he was when he thought he lost you? When I say broken I mean more then just broken. He was barely able to keep it together for the kids. He wasn't even living.. he barely ate and when he did I had to force him."

"I didn't know it was that bad." I whispered unable to feel anything other then hurt.

"Why would you? He didn't want you to know. Plus it wasn't anyone's place to tell you but him. You just needed to hear it."

"I'm sorry Eros.. The entire time I was gone I never had a chance to sit and think about what you guys were going through. I just kept trying to get back to you guys as soon as I could and even still, I wasn't able to come back soon enough."

"You did everything you could. We tried to do our part but there's only so much we can do since we're not gods. How did you feel when you were up there?"

"I don't know.. I didn't even think of how to feel, I was angry most of the time. I wanted to be hurt and sad but I couldn't do anything other then try to get back but that was it. Now that I think about it, I just... hated myself."

"Why would you hate yourself?"

"Because.. all my life, even my goddess life, I was never enough. I didn't have a choice in what I could do, what I should do. I just always did what I was told and was never any better then that. People are naturally drawn to me since I'm a goddess. Nobody got to know me for me. Being the goddess of empathy, I've felt everything everyone else feels and I just never got to feel for myself. I hate the fact that I couldn't think for myself, feel for myself or be my own person. Even when I thought I was human I was stuck growing up way to early and because of Lisa I never got the chance to succeed in life. I want to have hatred in my heart, I want to sit and cry for hours and be ungrateful, but I have everything now. I have Adam, you, my dad, my best friend, my brother, my sister and most importantly my children.. but why do I feel so empty and angry?"

"Because everyone else feels empty. None of us had a choice when it came to this new world and most of the witches were forced into that restaurant thing you're doing now. They're willing but it still doesn't excuse the fact that none of us has a choice. You know?"

"That's what I mean. I know no one had a choice. I didn't have a choice. As always I have to listen to what I'm told and do it. I can't just do what I want otherwise it'd be just us here. We wouldn't even be here we'd be in Elysium instead, in paradise together and we wouldn't have to worry about any more drama from vampires and witches or wolves.. or any other creature for that matter. Why can't for one moment I can't be selfish and angry at the world and the fucking gods for taking me away from my one shot at happiness?"

"I never said you're not allowed. You only feel empty because everyone else is empty. How are you feeling right now?"

"I'm pissed off Eros! I'm pissed off that I can't have one single lifetime with my family! I'm pissed off I can't have the chance to be happy with the ones I loved. I'm mostly pissed off with myself because I can never say no! Whenever somebody asks me for anything I can never tell them no, I just can't seem to manage to not help anyone in need and it's not fair because no one can help me the way I needed to be helped!" I dropped my knees to the ground and clenched my fists still shaking.

"I'm not going to get offended because I know you've lived a long time. However I'm here. I may not be able to help you the way you help me but I can try."

"I don't want you to help me though Eros. I don't want anyone to help me.. I need to be helped but I don't want to be helped. I hate that I can't put the correct words in my mouth to describe how I feel, my hearts not even beating but I feel like it's going to burst out of my chest. I hate everything right now!" I stood up and dropped my head in my hands.

"I understand. Do you think you should talk to Adam instead?"

"Should I? I don't want him to think I don't appreciate him.. I appreciate you too but he's been so.. not himself lately."

"I know.. I just think you'll feel better if you talk to him."

"Okay.." I sighed as he stood up. We walked back to the house where Adam was placing a sleeping Owen in his crib and kept a sleeping Eve in his arms.

"Can I help?" I whispered as I walked in.

"Uh, sure." He handed Eve to me.

"Do they normally sleep in the living room?"

"No but since Tyler, Jay and Braxton are staying here tonight, those three will be in the room while these two stay out here. The spare mattress is set up for them. Eros normally sleeps on one of the couches and he already said he was fine with the twins sleeping out here with him. Helios just left, he said there was something he had to attend to but that he'd get in contact with you as soon as he can." He seemed to be avoiding me now. I placed Eve in her crib and covered her with her blanket and followed him to my old room.

"Adam, can we talk please?"