APOLOGY HAS AN EASY SPELLING

“Uh- I just- I wasn’t expecting that you would remember that.”

“And I wasn’t sure that you really still did this, which you just confirmed by saying that, so thank you.”

I blush embarrassingly with a small smile. He leaves no chance to tease me. Bloody tart. I nervously crack my knuckles looking anywhere but hi-

“Alanna. Your hand-“ He speaks up with so much force, it comes out as a sudden blow in the silence. I look down at my hands, where his bloodstains are still visible, though dried up now.

“- Wait was that when – did I hurt you?” His voice turns into a painfully slow whisper and he looks at me with panic and shock written all over the face.

“Uh no, it’s your blood. So no, you didn’t.” His eyes soften, and he looks greatly relieved.

I smile lightly at the gesture. Display of emotions, from Zach has always been the best thing ever. Positive emotions, that is. When and if.

“For once.” I say, smirking lightly.

He narrows his eyes amused and leans his back on the railing while crossing his arms over his chest.

“Miss Callister, was that supposed to be sarcastic?”

“No, Mr. Hayden, that was supposed to be offensive.”

“Well, all taken.”

“Was all intended.”

The night has been dead long and now surprisingly calm.

And I know it’s because of Zach. Because of him believing in me, because of him talking to me, because of him making me smile when I don’t want to.

Because of him, simply being here. It’s a beautiful moment in time.

I would give anything, for this to continue to be. For us to be this, and this to be our reality. Where I don’t have to live every minute not knowing when Zach would hurt me next. Where I will still have this Zach in the morning, when we won’t have the safety of being alone.

Where we are just two people, who know each other so well. Who bring out the best in them, instead of wanting to slash out each other’s throats every time the other speaks.

Who make them, want to be become better, for each other. Who make each other happy. But it’s not. And I don’t want to return to what it is.

“It’s late. I should go.”

“Don’t expect me to stop you.”

“I don’t.”

“And don’t expect me to give you a ride back home either. You can do on your own. From what I saw, and I saw plenty, your earlier more than one acts of violence should keep you just fine.”

He chuckles and his smile literally takes my heart away. It’s a waste of male beauty. Or maybe, not that a waste after all.

“By violence, I think you mean defence.”

“By violence, I think I mean violence.” I shake my head and turn around to walk away.

I take a few steps when Zach’s grip on my wrist halts me midway. I turn to look at our hands and fight back a rush that overtakes me.

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to expect you to stop me?” I breathe out in a quiet, amused whisper.

He walks up to me shuffling his hand in his pocket and I think for the first time I see nervousness adorning Zach Hayden. Which is nevertheless just as adorable. I suppress a giggle.

“I uh – actually came over to give you this. Again, Nathaniel told me everyt-hing. So I just-, uh, you know.” He places it on my palm and I gasp as I look at it.

I feel like I have to wake up any moment now n

Earlier today I would have willingly let this day turn into a dream and believed that it never happened. But nothing could have prepared me for this. I look up to find soft, vulnerable eyes, giving me a stabbing reminder of all my reasons for having felt the things I had felt, for him.

“Zach,”

“I-it’s the same. Just not the stone, I-uh couldn’t find it.” I look down at my palm, still trying to believe.

Who knew? Who knew Zach Hayden could spell apology? I know this was his way of doing just that. And this would do, this would more than do.

I hear a clean, swift and easy speeding away of the expensive vehicle and I look up to find him gone.

Leaving behind my messed up self, with an apologetic smile on my face and a perfectly shaped metallic ‘A’ with a glimmering stone, on my palm.

*

“All first years are requested to assemble in the auditorium immediately. This is not a drill.”

The announcer has been saying that for the fourth time now I guess. I shuffle my way through the hallways with my head down with my assignment that is due today. Maybe I’ll submit it after the whole thing.

“Dello! Wait up.” I halt and turn around with lightning speed as I spot Lily running to catch up with me.

“Hey. God, thank you Lil. I didn’t want to do this without you.” She stands in a flowy white and purple sundress that reached her thighs. Her blonde hair falls over her shoulders casually.

But it’s the tired look in her eyes that catches my attention. Did she not sleep well?

“Well, I said I’d be here, so. I have to cover your ass.” I chuckle lightly with a satisfied smile. At least she’ll be here.

“Did you not sleep well yesterday? I don’t know, you look tired.”

“No, yeah I mean, I was up till you returned.” She looks down and whispers lightly and my smile widens slyly on hearing it. I know she still cares.

“Do not. Give me the creepy awww look.”

I laugh lightly. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to predict Lily. And I’ve been so bad to her lately, it makes me feel terrible. Especially for what I’m about to do now.

“You’re still saying no?” She asks me waiting for an answer and I spot hope in her eyes. Again.

And once again it breaks me to see her this way. She’ll be so hurt. How can I tell her that I actually still am going to say no? I’ve been debating all night but still couldn’t muster up strength enough.

She takes my silence as the answer and shakes it away.

“Anyway, how are you? I feel like we haven’t met in days.”

“Late. At the moment.” She chuckles and we both hurry away to the auditorium. Which happens to be pristine.

The walls are high and wooded and the white ceiling with round yellow lights. Rows of chairs are stacked with students chattering away and the teaching population stands around the stage, immersed in paperwork.

We both enter together scanning the huge room and I happen to spot Victoria Secret with her squad.

“What the hell is she wearing?” Lily’s voice interrupts me and I really couldn’t agree more.

She was in shorts. Too short ones. And a shirt knotted at the waist with a flowing overcoat above that reached her mid-thighs.

Hell her heels were longer than my longest finger. How does she walk in those?

Her hair was up in a high bun. Too tight. Which highlighted her groomed face.

“She really knows how to over-do it, right?” Lily scoffs which comforts me a bit. Because I have started feeling that I was indeed underdressed.

I look down towards myself who is in a plain white t-shirt, short sleeved, and navy blue denims that end above my ankles. And my favourite white converse. I have my hair in a messy fishtail with a few tendrils free around my face.

I had thought I looked good this morning when I saw the mirror.

I take a look around and found most of the people dressed well. Even Lily was wearing the amazing denim jacket I so loved.

I am underdressed. At least I feel myself to be. And I would feel more so when the whole room would be looking at me as I negate.

I clearly underestimated the importance of the day. And to dress well. Why are they making this so big of a deal?

I walk up to the row when suddenly a tight grip on my wrist pulls me away. I know full well it’s him and I just turn in time to catch a confused Lily looking at me.

Zach pulls me into a corner and rests my back against the wall.

He still has a gentle yet firm grip on my hand and I look up to his soft chocolate eyes I would die for.

His hair fringe falls lazily on his forehead that he presently doesn’t bother to push back.

“Zach, what are you..?"

“Good morning to you too, Callister.” His thick accent is too tempting. Not to mention the cologne as well. I smile, relieved that he is still in the same mood as last night.

Because I was slightly apprehensive that we would return to what we were, in the light of day.

“Can I know to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Absolutely.” He gives me a lopsided smile which tells me the above sarcastic statement didn’t really succeed in the sarcasm department. And he took the word ‘pleasure’ too literally.

I raise my eyebrows asking for an answer when I feel his finger on my neck suddenly.

I gasp at the touch while he stares at me intently. His finger glides along smoothly along my collarbone and then moves further down on my t-shirt.

I stop breathing and fist my hands too tight.

But just the next moment I feel movement near my neck and I look down to find Zach moving my locket behind my t-shirt, that had ended up above it.

“Keep it there.” He withdraws his finger and I look up to his face.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want anyone to know.”

“That Zach Hayden knows how to rectify mistakes?” I bit my lip in amusement and chuckle lightly at his behaviour.

He pushes the hair fringe back and puts his hands in his jeans pockets.

“Like I said. No one can know.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.” He suddenly inches closer with his hands on either side of me and his face too close to mine.

“That’s not reason enough.” I breathe out nervously and he moves further towards my ear.

“Why can’t you just do something when I tell you to?” He whispers huskily in my ear and his hot breath fans my earlobe.

I close my eyes involuntarily. He is so close I can smell the detergent on his shirt.

“Because I don’t trust you.” I whisper back with a croaked voice and he moves further down, brushing his nose along my neck.

I feel weak in my knees and I silently pray that no professor should see us this moment. Geez.

That's what you're thinking now?

“Is that so, Adalanna?” He whispers against my skin and I hold back a moan. The way my name rolls out of his tongue. Not here Alanna . Not here.

The point of contact of his lips and my skin burns like sweet pain and I start losing balance.

“Yes.” He stops suddenly at my answer and retracts back to look at my face with unreadable eyes.

“I’ll see you around, Callister.”

Back to Callister. Okay. He is so strange. And just like that he’s gone while I take a minute to steady my uneven breathing.

Was he… hurt? Why did he leave suddenly? I just said that I don’t trust him, which is every bit true. And he knows it too well, as well.

Zach has officially lost it. He can’t just do that. And I can’t just let him.



Author's note:

Isn’t nervous Zach just so adorable?

“Zach has officially lost it.” HE NEVER HAD IT, DELLO!

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