Chapter 10° "Came as you are"
"Your advice as a bad psychoanalyst didn't help me at all!!!"
"Sorry, what are you meaning for!? And then ... hello Tip how are you today?! " grumbled Tip as Hy sat right in front of him
"Yes ... yes ..." Hy muttered visibly annoyed
"But imagine ... after seeing you I'm fine! My friend, I can know what is happening to you... for some time now you no longer look like you! You are so confused, disoriented, you wander through the university like a lost soul as if you were looking for something that you have lost, and of which you can no longer do without ... I don't recognize you anymore ... of the two you are the rational one, that who has everything under control! Look at you! Now you are no longer even a shadow of yourself ... this time you have to tell me the truth ... don't give me a sop just to keep me good! "
Tip continued looking at his friend or at least what remained of him
"No ... there is definitely something wrong! Tell me what happened to you! "
Hy looked up and looked his friend in his eyes, and he thinks if he hadn't told him, that was his best friend, who else could tell!
"I already told you that I am confused... for some time now I'm not sure who I am, and what I really want. In my head there are a lot of questions like "Am I really living the life that I have chosen, that I like? I really chose this life or someone else ... my parents for example ... all these doubts are driving me crazy ... and all because of ..."
Hy stopped, clenched his fists, just thinking about Reve sent him into a tailspin
"Whose fault is it bro?" asked Tip "All the fault of ..."
No ... he couldn't even pronounce his name
"Come on bro tell me ... who?" Tip insisted
Hy took a deep breath, closed his eyes
"REVE ... it's all Reve's fault ... since he appeared in my life everything has fallen apart ..."
"Why? What has he ever done to you!? " Tip repeated "He ... he..." "He what Hy?" remarked Tip
Hy looked at his friend again, a barely hinted smile peeked out on his lips
"He ... I think I ..."
He stopped once again
"I think I ..." Tip repeated
"I think I fell in love with Reve!"
"It took so long to say it!" Tip said smiling ...
YES!!!
Because saying that you love someone is not easy it's indeed very difficult ... it's difficult because it's easy to confuse love with other emotions that arise between one person and another ... joy, tenderness, happiness and friendship ... all beautiful sensations that give our little life as human beings beautiful and very intense vibrations ... vibrations that we can no longer do without, because when the most hidden and fragile part of us, our soul, can no longer feel them, it craves them even more because it becomes dependent on them ... ... love is quite another thing ... love is all this to the nth degree ... it's our being that vibrates with all of itself and through the heart weeps
"I want to be with this person, because he and only he makes me feel at peace with myself ...
and I love him"
... and loving is very different from loving, because finding love is a thing really rare and precious, but not easy ...
"You're right ... now that I've said it out loud, I feel much better! ... But I can't find him. That is why you have often seen me here with you ... in these days I have travelled the length and breadth of the university, but no way ... it seems to have disappeared into thin air ... you have to help me ... I have to meet him! I absolutely have to talk to him! "
"I haven't seen him these days either ... how can I help you then !?"
"Wait ... wait maybe I have an idea ..."
"Which one?"
"Get more notes, after all you attend the same course of study, so there would be nothing strange, also because you have already asked them, right !?"
"Actually ..."
"Obviously I'll be there too ... and at that point he won't be able to avoid me anymore ... he will have to talk to me" "Okay bro! But make sure you clarify the matter once and for all!"
"We also lacked this ... playing hide and seek ... I always hated it even when I was a child ... and now because of that spoiled child I'm forced to play even if I don't want to break my dick and I want to be quiet ... what a drag"
Reve thought, shaking his head as one step at a time, violin on his shoulder, reached the roof to think into what absurd situation he had gotten himself into.
When he arrived, he took the violin out of the case and began to play
It's "Came as you are" by Nirvana
His mind soon relaxed, he had reached the only place where he felt safe, at peace with himself, calm and happy ... that place was the music ... his fingers ran fast, the bow gently stroked the strings of the violin and his music spread as fast as the wind, and just as the wind immediately reached the hearts of all those who were nearby at that moment
The crowd croaking slowly, fell silent, bewitched by that music that it was not clear where it came from ...
The ringing of the phone came like a punch in the stomach, Reve, as if he woke up with a start from a beautiful dream, had a start and stopped ringing, confused he looked around and then understood that that deafening noise came from his backpack, which was his phone ...
He reached out and took it
"Hello who is it?"
"Hi Reve, I'm Tip. Do I disturb you? "
"No ... tell me" Reve replied sighing
"I would need your notes again Bro ... the others have been very useful to me and I'm a landslide in taking notes ..."
"Okay ... there are no problems ... so I don't need these anymore "
" Great!!! If I buy you lunch tomorrow? Would you be free? "
"Ok ... tomorrow for lunch I'm free"
"So I'll see you tomorrow ... and thanks again"
"Do not even mention it ... God forbid ... until tomorrow" concluded Reve hanging up " Oh, god, just what I needed."
He thought as he put the violin back in the case.
Reluctantly the next day Reve entered the mess hall where Tip had given him the appointment. Notes in hand, because he didn't want to stop for long
"I missed him too ..."
Thought after he had seen Hy sitting next to Tip, but pretending nothing happened he came up anyway
"Here are the notes you asked me"
"Thanks bro! Thanks so much! What would I do without your precious notes ... I would be dead! But why are you still standing there ... sit here with us ... I'll buy you lunch! " Tip said looking towards Hy as if asking for approval
"No thank you, but I'm in a hurry, I have a lot to do ... as far as the notes are concerned, keep them as long as you want, I don't need them"
"Are you sure ... come on stay here with us"
Tip replied more and more agitated looking first at Reve and then Hy as if to say
"Come on friend do something soon that's going away!"
Just at that moment, as if he had heard it, Hy jumped up and grabbed Reve by the arm
"Leave me now" Reve ordered trying to free himself, but without succeeding.
Hy dragged him into the bathroom and with a withering gaze let everyone out.
When the door closed behind the last boy, he pushed Reve against the wall, with his hands against her shoulders he blocked every escape route
"Why ... why! ... What have I done wrong to you to deserve this!? " shouted
"In what sense? Sorry but I didn't do anything to you! " Reve replied to the disoriented
"Nothing! Since you appeared my life has never been the same! You ... You messed everything up! Before I met you, I had total control of my life, everything went by thread and by sign ... I knew when, where and what to do ... everything went smoothly ... and then you came and ruined everything! "
"What are you trying to tell me!" tried to replicate Reve
"Shut up! Don't talk! I can no longer sleep, concentrate on studying and train for swimming competitions, because I always think of you! I think about when I woke up that damn morning in your bed, I think I was hugging you, I think I was naked ... but ... but I can't remember what happened the night before ... the only thing I remember is that wonderful and sublime feeling that he left on me ... and this is driving me crazy ... I can't think of anything else ... "
Reve looked into his eyes, after an initial bewilderment, on his face slowly listening to the words of Hy, he made his way a very sweet smile ...
That smile startled Hy, who fell silent all of a sudden
"My God, how beautiful he is!"
He thought as his heart leapt, and without realizing it he kissed him, because, he thought, there was nothing else to do, because his heart wanted nothing more than that, because his heart longed for it from the moment, that morning after the school festival, he closed the door behind him to leave Reve's room.
Reve did not reject him, despite what had happened, because he felt a strange attraction for Hy, Hy pissed him off like no one else had ever done in his entire life, but at the same time all the anger he felt for him at the same moment he looked at it disappeared.
The shouting of a small group of boys who passed nearby just at that moment made him return to reality and jumped back incredulously looked at Reve, who at that point was even more perplexed than him, he didn't say a single word ... he ran simply away as he had already done that damn morning without once again having done anything.
"I see you strangely upset man," Ipno said to Reve as he plucked his lunch
"So... there are two of us ... Today you look distracted, plus you haven't finished eating yet, which is strange, really very strange, since you usually get stoned. Can I know what you have? " Reve countered, he didn't want to talk about what was happening to him
"I ... I have nothing at all "
"Don't make me repeat it twice, you know it bothers me, so ... what's wrong with you?" Reve insisted that he knew his friend too well not to notice that something was wrong
"Well ... here ... I ... yesterday I had a strange dream ..."
"A dream!? What kind of dream could ever upset you to this point, it was a nightmare by chance ..." Reve said looking at Ipno in disbelief.
"No, it wasn't a nightmare ... it was just weird ..."
"Although I know I'll regret it bitterly... tell me," Reve said with a sigh
"Well ... I was having an evening at the club, and everything was going smoothly as usual, at one point Gear came towards me and, with two wet kitten eyes on a sad rainy day, he looked me straight in the eye, without saying a word he dragged me to the bathroom and he kissed me ... "
He glanced at his friend's reaction
" and ... and I liked it ... I liked it damn much " he finished whispering the last words, while his cheeks turned red
Reve, at first, literally looked at him in shock, then burst into laughter
"And is that what upsets you so much?"
"And it seems a little to you !?" he continued to whisper Ipno still in evident embarrassment
"I didn't think you were so SENSITIVE my friend ... it's just a dream you don't have to give it so much importance unless ..." smiling sardonically
"Unless... unless what?" Ipno repeated, opening his eyes wide
"Unless you like Gear...."
"Gear! ... like ... me!!! You really think! I like women! Women with big boobs... very big! "
"I get it, I get it ... don't get upset ... it was just to say, after all, the one upset is you, not me" Reve replied amused "Anyway there would be nothing strange even if you really liked a man?"
"But then why am I so upset?"
"You have to ask yourself this, no one can answer for you. If you ask yourself the right questions, and above all you answer them honestly, you will see that the confusion will vanish and ... "
DRINNN
"Look, you've received a message ..."
Reve saw his friend turn red as a pepper for the second time within a few minutes ... and this amused him a lot
"May I know who has the power to make you blush like that?" Reve asked, barely holding back the umpteenth laugh
"Nobody ... nobody ..."
"Ah ok ... so what did this Mr. Nobody want?"
"We have to meet at the club tonight"
"Well ... strange coincidence ..."
"What do you mean...?"
"In the sense that today you didn't have to do a DJ set right at the club, just tonight ... just like in your dream?" he smiled amused at his friend's foolishness.
"Yes, yes of course, I'm not stoned, Alen has already reminded me several times, but Gear could only ..." Ipno fell silent all of a sudden, opening his eyes wide
"Exactly ..." Reve could not hold back the laugh anymore