ARIA XERYL

She can't believe this when she first saw the name in the book . It was her name . Her whole life was in there as if she was just a character that people read , being pity on for a while and then bye-bye ..

She was dumbfounded and she wanted to deny this but everything in the book telling her it was real . Her family , her life , everything was real . She can't deny that she was in fact am begging her family for love .

It is funny that other female lead was busy chasing their destined one for love but here she was being a puppet just because she wanted their love .

Since she was born , she never knew what is love . All she knew is that as long as she follows whatever her family said , as long as she being obedient , maybe just maybe she will get the chance of being loved . That was her whole life dedication . She never even has any dream like other people let alone friends . She was busy holding that string of hope scared of when her family will abandon her . She knew her father hated her , her brothers treated her as if she was a trash but then it's okay , she always believed that someday they will love her if they saw her dedication so she did anything that she could do for them . She was insulted , harassed , slapped , kicked , starved , locked in her room , treated as a slave , being sold on , just say anything that was horrible , she already experienced all that . Still , she was there hopelessly wanted the love that her family will never give .

Her dad was an awful man . He hated this creature named ' woman ' . To him , they were useless . All they do is seducing men , giving birth while struggling and dying with it . He used women as his stepping ladder as an object that can give him a heir , a continuation to his kin . What happen to them after that he doesn't care just like her mom . He was only with her for lust , he has never treated her with respect or care , he only cared when she was diagnosed pregnant but when he knew it was a girl , he neglected her as if she was just a fly . Even more when her mom died after giving birth , she was secluded from anyone . That was why she craves for love and the people that can give her hope was only her family eventhough they was cruel , eventhough they were heartless , she wanted their love desperately .

She laughed at herself again and again .

' Aria ! Aria .... why are you such a stubborn foolish girl . They never care about you but you like a hysteric girl standing there hoping for something that they can never give . Why are you being such an idiot ?! '

She knew that . She knew it was hard but she begged again and again for their love , for their care . She was scared to leave her family , to her that was the only reason why she lived , so she succumbed with their violence . She can accept anything . She can ..

' Aria ..... why just why ?! '

' But I don't want .... to give up ... '

Her life is a novel . Her mind accepts it . However , why ..... just why ..... she died for them ?! She can't accept this .... In the novel , they killed her and she knew it but she regard that damn love again . She even didn't blame them . Why ?!

' Aria ! Please ! Please ! Please .... stop being a puppet ! Stop holding your hope for them ! They won't love you and they will never be ! Wake up , Aria ! See that for yourself ! You knew that Aria ! Please ..... Aria ! '

' I don't want to die .... '

' But .... I ..... I .... I still wanted to believe them ... Can't ..... can't I put my last hope .... can't I ... ? '

She asked herself . Her mind and heart is in a different direction . She wanted to resent them when she saw her end in the book but then she too wanted to give her family another chance because she .... she still crave for that love .

' Aria .... stop being a puppet ! It was enough ! They won't change ! You know that ! And you still willing to be their puppet ! The doll that they can do anything they want ! Isn't it enough ?! You taste every kind of hell not a single of heaven , isn't it enough ?! Aria ... you are being ridiculous again and again ! Either live or die ! You choose it yourself ! '

Aria cried with that statement . She knew this was a dream . A long kind of dream and maybe her soul was already drifting away from her sick body because it seems that this is a choice that she had to make . It feels like if she chose her family then she will just be like that Aria in the book again but what if she give up on that love ? What will happen ? She doesn't know and she was too scared of that . What was she supposed to do ?

After several minutes of trying to think about her fate , her eyes feel blurry . She closed her eyes and let fate take her again . Whatever happen , she hopes she will catch happiness this time .

' Welcome , my 5th life .... '