Wasted

Liliana

I lay in bed wasted, my head feeling like it was being hit by a hammer.

It was the same everyday. Since Vi had been put in the ground a week ago, I would go to sleep wasted and wake up with a stench on my breath and an unbearable headache.

So, I would take more alcohol to dull the headache, getting even more fucked up and by night, I was wasted again.

It was all I could do not to deal, all I could do not to feel. It was too heartbreaking and I just wanted to run away from the pain.

The worst part of it all which made me really angry was that immediately after Vi was buried, Mike drove straight to the airport and out of the country, without a single thought to his child or anyone else.

Oohhh.....how grievy.

Pushing myself up, I took a swig from the bottle that sat on the side table, then I fell back into the bed.

In fact, fuck it. My niece is due for discharge and if he isn't going to take her, I will.

Fucker!

But can you? A voice inside me asked.

Urghhhh! All these emotional crap was wearing me out.

What was I thinking? I couldn't take her. Could I be a mother? Changing diapers every hour? Teaching her to crawl, walk? Taking her to school?

Ohmygod, I think I'm going to throw up.

I ran to the bathroom and my gut came rushing out. Why did I have to drink so much?

Ya, blame it on the drink , like it's as repulsive as being a mother...

I had just laid back down when the bell rang.

Hmmmm, that's a no no, especially after I just laid down.

I closed my eyes and was chilling when a light bulb went off in my head.

Jumping out of bed, I went to my computer and put up the surveillance camera that I had planted around the area and at the front door. No one knew where I was so....

Tam? What is she doing here and how did she find me.

"David, do let her in" I told my AI then went to lay back down.

"Okay Liliana" he responded.

"It's Lily!' I corrected, for the hundredth time.

"Liliana is such a beautiful name, I think you should go by it instead. I looked up what it means, it means--"

"David! Stop ranting and just open the fucking door"

"Ouch Li-li-ana, that hurt" he said, purposely stretching out my name, making me want to bang my head hard on the wall.

I always avoided talking to him, except when absolutely and super absolutely necessary. He had the worse sense of humor and his everyday mission was to annoy and frustrate me. Why would someone create such a thing?

I had come close to destroying it a couple of time but I just couldn't because he was kinda badass in the field.

The door clicked open and Tam came in, though I couldn't see her because I was turned away from the door.

I heard something drop, then unzipping of clothes and some shuffling. A bit of quiet then BAM, something or rather, someone landed next to me and I turned to see her stripped to her panties and socks. Her dark hair was splayed all over her face, making her look like a doll.

"Quit staring bitch, I'm tryna sleep". She said.

"How did you find me" I asked

"How else? I pinged your phone" she answered, removing the hair from her face and propping her head up on her hand, looking me dead in the eye.

"You are off your game Lily, I was so surprised that you left yourself open. You haven't been back here for two years and then you come back and in just two weeks, you let yourself become this..." She moved her hand up and down my person.

"Tam, the only person that kept me on my toes, asides you of course, the only one that kept me believing that there was something to live for, is gone. What's the point?"

"I'm still here baby, okay? I am not her and can never be her but I'm here for you". She said, rubbing her thumb up and down the side of my face.

I nodded, my eyes welling up.

"Ok, enough of the sadness...." She said, wiping away my tears.

".....time to get serious. I looked into some stuff and found out something, something you need to see. In other words, Santa brought you gifts but she doesn't like stinking old girls so go shower while I clean up. This whole place smells like barf" she said, shoving me off the bed.

"Oh Yeah, kinda took a lot of alcohol" I said, staggering to the bathroom.

"Typical" I heard her say before I closed the door.

It took a while but finally, I washed up and came out with a towel wrapped around my body and another wrapped around my hair.

The cold water had sobered me up much, Thank God.

"That was.....long but finally, you out. Here, sit, I'll dry your hair". Her fingers first brushed through my hair gently, then she blow dried it and combed it.

"There, all set. I brought out some clothes for you, so just put them on". She said, while putting on the skirt and shirt she got from my closet.

The clothes she had got out for me were blue jean pants, white and yellow crop top, black jacket and black boots. She even got out matching undies.

Tamara was the only friend I had. She was like a second sister to me and before now, I had two people to live for but now, she was all I had left.

I trusted her with my life and she never let me feel sorry for myself or stay down for long.

She was the one who taught me how to be strong.

Unfortunately, boundary was an issue with her. She would spoonfeed me if given the chance.

"Okayyy so, I guess we are going somewhere?"I asked, slipping on my panties and bra. Next came the jeans and top, then boots. I hung the jacket on my shoulder then turned to her with brows raised.

"So, where to?" I asked

"First, what I found. I did some investigation and got the surveillance videos of the surrounding area of your sister's accident and...."

This is going to be hard.

"...and?" I asked, impatiently.

"Umm...okay. Here, look..."

She turned the laptop to me, pointing at the screen.

"You can see Victoria here waiting for the light to go green and here's the truck, just sitting there. You can see it's on. The moment the light goes green and Vic moves forward, he moves also and crashes into her. I later went to the hospital to get information on the driver and possibly question him but I was informed that he died on transit. Lily, I don't think it was an accident..."

"She was targeted?" I couldn't understand.

"I'm afraid so. I'm so sorry love"

"...but why? Who would want her dead? She was one of the kindest people I knew. Why?" I sat on the floor, pain and anger erupting within me. I just didn't understand.

Suddenly, a thought flickered in my head and it was like I could no longer breath...

"What if it's because of me? What if I'm the cause?" I was immediately filled with dread as tears began to flow. Oh god..."

"No Lily, don't do that. Don't blame yourself, I won't let you" She said, crouching down in front of me.

"But--"

"No buts! We have no idea why it happened and we are definitely not going to start by playing the blame game. What we are going to do is go to work. We are going to work this thing like our lives depend on it, okay?"

I nodded, the anger within me deepening.

"I will find them and I will kill them. I will kill every last one of them". I said, through gritted teeth.

"That's my girl".

"...and while I'm at it, I am sooo killing Mike too".

"Why?" She asked confused.

"Fucker thought it best to abscond and leave his daughter behind. HE LEFT THE COUNTRY" I stood up from where I sat and went to grab a bottle. Just before I could chug down some good old wine, it got snatched away from me.

"Nuh-- Uh... No more for you"

"I can't leave her there Tam, I can't abandon her." I said in a low tone.

"What do you want to do? You seriously are not considering taking her, are you?"

My whole body shook slightly as I fought the bile that was threatening to come up.

"Honestly, the idea makes me wanna throw up. I can't be a mother, right?" I asked.

"Right. Fact is, we both know that we are not capable of being mothers. So, child services?"

"We?"

"Come off it girl, you're not getting rid of me that easily. We are stuck together".

I smiled but it didn't last very long. I was seriously considering the idea of putting my niece in the system and I was so not happy about it.

It felt like I was letting go of the only part of Vi that was left in this world, all the while stabbing her in the back. I had promised to take care of her baby, but then I had promised a lot of things that day so...

"Child services huh?" I asked, after a while.

"Ya, just something to ponder but no pressure".

"Okay, let's go. Quick drop by at the hospital first". I said, grabbing me jacket.

"Wait..." She said then tipped the bottle she collected from me, tipping it's remaining content into her stomach.

"Whoa, that was some fine wine girl. Now we can go". She dumped the bottle with the other empties then grabbed her jacket, and we were out the door.

_____________________________

Michael

I stepped off my plane and pain immediately seared my heart.

I clutched my chest and tilted my head up letting the fresh air brush across my face.

This city that I loved so much had become my living nightmare, a constant reminder of the memories I created everywhere with Victoria.

Now I hated it and just wanted to be far from it, I was even considering moving headquarters.

The feelings within me raged, weighing me down. It made me want to crawl up into a hole and stay there.

With a deep breath, I put one foot in front of the other, propelling me forward.

In front of the airport were three cars waiting for me. Andrew, my assistant opened the door to the car in the middle from within and I got in.

"Welcome Sir, looking a bit different?" He asked in his formal tone, then he snickered.

I looked at him and shook my head. I was wearing black track pants, white tee and black sandals.

I never wore casual clothes. In fact, I had forgotten how to wear casual clothes and only had them because Vi had gotten them for me.

According to her, it was an attempt to get me to loosen up and spend a careless day with her.

Wish now that I hadn't been so bull headed and had just obliged but of course, there always seemed to be one thing or the other that needed my attention in the office.

"Oh well, nothing is the same anymore" I replied, rubbing my eyes. I was sleep deprived, hadn't slept for days.

"Seriously man, why the hell did you want me back?" I asked. I saw the driver look at me through the rearview mirror and then immediately shift his eyes when he saw I had caught him.

"Andy fire him please, right this instant". I said, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

"If I do that, who is gonna drive?"

"You have to be useful for something, right?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Well Ouch, that hurts".

When I didn't respond, he said...

"Chill man, he was probably just wondering how I can talk with you so casually, and he is new but he'll learn".

"And you can't fire him because...?"

"...because we can't afford to let go of anyone right now". he said with a serious tone.

Urghhh...there was obviously trouble.

"Privacy please" I heard Andy say to the driver as I drifted off to sleep.

___________________

Larry

"Hello Doctor, good to see you again" I greeted, closing the door behind me.

"Good to see you again too. Wish we had met in a different situation". He said, extending his hand.

"Me too doctor, me too". I replied, taking his hand and we shook firmly.

"Please call me Liam" he said

"...and you can call me Larry and this is my wife, Diana".

"Hello Liam" Diana said. "You knew our daughter very well?" She asked.

"Yes, I did. We were friends in college, I even introduced her to Mike. I'm so sorry for your loss, we all feel her absence".

"Thank you", Diana said with a a sniff.

"So what brings you here today?" He asked, turning to me.

"We are aware that Mike has been unavailable" I stressed the word unavailable and he nodded curtly, showing he understood what I meant.

"So we have decided to take our granddaughter home with us, at least for now. Till he comes around". I finished and waited for him to respond. He studied us for a bit then leaned forward.

"I understand and I think that it is wonderful that you want to take her home but I'm sorry that will be impossible as neither of you were stated as emergency contacts for the family or the baby. Though, I can permit you to see her".

"I don't understand doctor, we are her grand parents. Victoria's parents. How is it possible that we are not on her emergency list?"

"There are only two people asides Mike who I can release the baby to. Victoria's sister and myself".

__________________________________________

Author

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