All over the place

“Be true to who you are. But if they knew, it will be tragic.”

I must say that I'm happy that he helps me go back to the coffee shop. But it's his fault anyway. I told him to just drop me off at a near convenience store just a few blocks from the coffee shop. He asked me why should he drop me off there where he can go directly to where the shop is. I told him that he's a celebrity and some might recognize his car. Even if I don't know much about the showbiz world, I know what a paparazzi means. He told me that his car is tinted that no one will see who’s inside. Still, I insist that he will just drop me off at the location I said.

The ride this time was not as annoying as the one earlier this morning. I told him I'm going to be late for my second job. And also, I didn't do any work at the coffee shop. He offered me money. He said he's going to pay for the hours that I didn't get to work. Of course, I refuse. I told him we're good and that this is going to be the last time we will meet. He still insists on paying me but I give a reply with a big 'NO.'

I still can't believe that Rick has a friend like Zander. Yes, I can say his name in my mind. I'm not mad at him anymore. He's just a little childish but I can handle him. Back to my boss, it's a little surprise for me that he has a friend who is a celebrity.

I've known him for almost 3 years or more, I think? I didn't track much of the time I spent with them. Because I found a place where I belong. Whenever I go to work in the morning, I don't feel I'm working. It's like I'm just coming to my second home. I'm not the kind of person who asks personal questions even if it's a close friend. Because I know how to respect their private life. If someone wants to share something with me, I'm always here to listen. And besides, if they want to share that part of their lives, it means they trust you with the truth. I know Rick trusts me and I also do the same to him. Maybe, just maybe, he's not ready, or rather he wants to keep his private life to himself. I respect and understand that.

When I arrived at the coffee shop, Aimee won't stop asking questions about what happened to us?', 'where did we go?', what are the things we talk about?' and so many more intriguing statements. She keeps on telling me that my life is boring and all I do is work. I want to tell her off and stop her from telling me things about my life. But I just let her be because she's much younger than me. She's only 17 when she started working here at the coffee shop. I thought that she is quiet and shy. Well, a little bit clumsy that she always breaks coffee mugs. She's a minor and I remember back then how she begged Rick to let her be an employee here. Those were the days.

I ask Aimee where is our boss and she told me that he is in his office. When I was about to go upstairs, I saw Aimee walks towards Sean and Dominic. And I know what she will do. I just let it off my mind.

I arrived on the second floor and I even saw Ethan who was coming down the stairs from the rooftop. He just looks at me for a second and looks away the moment my eyes met his. When he walks past me, I sigh. I'll just deal with him some other time. There are some things that I need to clarify with him.

I reach the door of Rick's office and I knock three times. "Come in," I heard my boss says while his inside.

I turn the knob and when I see him sitting in his chair with a lot of paper works in front of him, I decided to speak my mind. At least he's not looking at me. I can't look him in his eyes after what I said to his friend.

"Sir Rick, I'm sorry for what I did- I mean for insulting-"

I didn't get to finish what I am saying because he raises his left hand. "Sit down first, we have a lot to talk about," he said in a serious monotone voice.

I gulp hard before closing the door and my knees are growing weak as I walk toward the couch. Rick's office is quite spacious. Two black leather couches that put the whole room with a manly touch. One big wooden cabinet with glass near the window, a small cabinet on the left side with a touch of flower on top of it. A flower painting on the white wall and some green plant that makes the room more like home. A black wall clock that looks expensive that doesn't have a cover.

When I sat down on one of the couches, I can't help but speak. "Sir Rick, I'm sorry for what I said earlier this morning. You know how straightforward I can be," I am fidgeting and playing with my hands. I can't look at my boss right now.

I've made a lot of mistakes in the past and he always gives me multiple chances. One time, I almost spilled a coffee on a guy customer. Take note, almost but the customer got so mad that he called Rick and told him to fire me. I was so embarrassed that time because we got so much attention from the other customers. Sean and Dominic shielded me and pull me away from the situation. I didn't know how Rick handled it but the customer calmed down. And he never came back to the shop after that. Until now, I didn't ask Rick what he told to that customer. I just let it be because I also don't want to see that man again.

The other time there was a lady customer maybe in her thirties, blonde hair, she’s wearing black shades and I didn’t saw her face. She was wearing a red dress that shows the curves on her body. I can’t help but look at my boobs because she was given a lot. She just sat down on one of the couches that were for VIP. I look at her for a moment when she entered the coffee shop because all eyes are on her. There were a lot of customers at that time. And I was just coming down the stairs because I was assigned to the second-floor customers. The one assigned for the VIP seats at that time was Aimee. She forgot that day to check every five minutes or so if there’s a customer in the VIP area. Because she was also busy helping at the back of the coffee shop.

To make the story short, I walk past her a couple of times and she got mad at me. I apologize to her for not noticing her but she was still fuming with rage.

She told me that why am I doing my job if I can’t even notice her. She continues to say that why didn't I even take her order while I have a full tray of coffee and deserts that I am carrying to the second floor. I try to explain to her my situation for not seeing her. And she told me that I’m stupid for not noticing her when she was wearing a red dress. My patience was wearing thin and I told her that she should have called someone.

We're humans too who get tired and have emotions like her. I want to tell her that but luckily Rick was quick to come to our rescue because she is yelling at me. Again, all eyes are on me. Rick just told me he’ll handle it but the customer won’t let me go. I forgot to mention that Ethan was also there who help me. He shielded me from the customer and helped Rick talked to the lady in red. I never got to know what they did until this day. Rick told me it’s not my fault and he reprimanded Aimee. She apologizes a couple of times and I told her it's okay and to be mindful next time.

I use to like the color red. Now, I hate it because of that unfortunate incident.

And now here I am, nervous as heck, thinking of what I was supposed to say next. "It's okay if you get mad at me. I'll take whatever punishment you'll give me. Just please, don't fire me." I close my eyes and still waiting for Rick to answer. But his silence is making me more nervous than when I first arrived here.

What he was thinking of me?

Is it my last chance?

Am I going to be fired?

Dozens of scenarios are playing in my mind that might happen. Rick will be furious and will tell me I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.

Or he will suspend me and doesn’t call me back. He will just ready the paperwork that says ‘He is firing me.’

What more can happen?

"Sir Rick, I'm sorry. I'll accept whatever punishment you gave me. Just don't fire me. You can get angry and suspend me or whatever. And..." I am thinking about what to say next but my mind becomes blank.

"Jed, can you stop overreacting? And you know what to call me when it's just the two of us, right? Or did you forget?"

I look up in Rick's direction and his expression is serious. His arms are resting on the table while his two hands are intertwined.

"S-sir I mean Rick- Am I suspended? Am I getting fired? You can tell me the truth. I can take it," I sigh and bite my lip. "I know I'm always making mistakes and troubling you with my attitude. I hope we can talk about it."

When I'm nervous, I can't help but talk fast. I'm not even a talkative person. I only show that side of me to my family. And now, Rick is seeing it too.

He is still quiet and I look away. I don't know what he is thinking right now. His silence is giving me various thoughts that maybe he is fed up with me.

I need to say goodbye to my beautiful job here in the coffee shop. I can see myself packing my things and going to a rural area where no one can find me.

I thought that my boss will get angry at me. But his laughter filled the whole office. I look at him and he is holding his stomach. What happened to him?

"Rick, why are you laughing?" I am looking at him surprised by his outburst.

"Y-you should have seen your face," He wipes both his eyes with his left hand while still laughing. "I didn't know that you will be this scared."

I am speechless. Is he for real? Does he have a problem with his brain? What is going on?

"Of course I'm scared! I insulted your friend," I don't know what to feel at this moment. How can he laugh so hard after what I have done? If he's not my boss, I am receiving a death glare and lots of reprimand remarks about my behavior.

"I'm trying a different approach and I think it's effective," He composes himself and sigh for a second. I see him smiling. I can't believe what I'm seeing right now. "Don't think about it. Just relax."

I can't help but furrow my brows. "What are you talking about? Are you not mad at me? Don't you have something to say?"

He gets up on his chair and walks towards me. And now I am face to face with my boss. He is quite tall almost as tall as my two brothers. When I look at his face up close, he is quite handsome. Thick eyebrows, his eyes are a combination of green hazel eyes. Don't get me to start on his nose and lips. He has this Greek nose that I envy and lips that can captivate any woman. How can someone look this good up close? And why am I noticing this now in this situation? I should not drool over him. He is my boss for Pete's sake!

"Mad? No, I'm not. Just be careful next time," he said that with a smile on his face.

I stand up on impulse and Rick is quite surprised so he took a step back. "Are you for real? You're not mad?" I say with wide eyes.

"No, more like amused. I saw how Nathan got annoyed and you look so cool to be able to stand up to him," he smiles at me again and crosses his arms. "All of the girls who meet him get swoon and they throw themselves just to get a glimpse of him. But you, you're something else."

I don't know what to say after that. Is my boss complimenting me? It's rare for me to see this side of him. How come I just notice it now? He rarely smiles and shows this kind of emotion on his face. And he even called Zander a different name. I can't help but think, how long they have known each other? I want to know just a bit. But maybe I should let it be. I don't want to pry anymore. It's not like me. Why am I even having these thoughts? I need to have a clear mind and stop meddling in other people's affairs. This is not like me.

"I'll take that as a compliment," I look away before I regret it. Something is starting inside of me. I don't know what to make of it.

"If I knew he's your friend, I would not have acted that way," I say as a matter of fact.

"It's okay. Just be careful next time." His calm voice makes me feel at ease. But at the same time, I feel like he pities me. I should be thankful but I can't help to think that when we talk, he favors me. It's like someone told him to take care of me. I can't tell anyone about it. I don't know who else I can talk to about what I'm thinking about. I'm not ready to trust anyone yet, except my family.

I don't want to look rude so I gather my courage to look at Rick. "Will do. Your friend is short-tempered and rude. Your personality doesn't match," I explained and I can't see Rick being with Zander. "There are some things I still don't know about you, Rick." I give him a faint smile.

I don't need to know more. I need to stop asking people about their personal lives. I need to stop this kind of thinking. It will get me in trouble.

He smiles at me again. "Don't worry, someday, I'll tell you all about me." I don't deserve his kindness. Why am I feeling a pang of guilt towards him? Why? It's been my question for quite some time now. Ever since I've worked here, he is very considerate. He never raises his voice whenever I did something wrong. I always feel guilty because he was the one who carries the burden and handles the complaint of the customers.

I don't even have the strength to stand up for myself. I always ask myself; 'why am I so weak?' 'Why can't I do everything right?'

If you listen to me, I let you in on a secret.

I felt a pain in my right temple. How come that voice can resurface? I'm talking to someone and it's not even quiet. Well, for a while Rick didn't talk and I was nervous. But I didn't hear that voice. Why now?

"Jed, are you okay?"

"Huh?" I look at Rick and I see his worried face. What happened?

"You space out. Is everything okay?"

I look at him and immediately I gain my composure. I have an episode again. I don't want to be a burden. I need to focus.

"I'm okay, don't worry about me," I try to sound happy so he won't notice. "There's still time and I can help downstairs." I stretch my arms and smile at my boss. I made quite a ruckus this morning and I need to pay him back for his consideration.

Rick walks toward his desk, gets an envelope, and gives it to me.

"What is this?" I look at him baffled.

"A secret. Just open it when you get home."

He walks toward the door and was about to open it. But he stops midway and looks at me. "Before I forgot, you don't need to worry about your hours. It's paid."

I hold the envelope tightly and my eyes grew wider. "What are you talking about?"

"All of them agreed to it. Don't worry."

No words will come out of my mouth. My emotions are all over the place. I'm blessed to have them in my life. What more can I ask for?

"And when will you talk to Ethan? Poor guy if you have seen him earlier, he's like your mom worrying sick about you," A laugh escapes his mouth. "Just try to talk to him, okay?"

I took a deep breath. It's not even afternoon, but there's a lot of things that happened. This is going to be a long day. I don't have time for Ethan or anyone else. I am busy trying to fix my mistakes. I am trying to fix my life. I can't have guys to deal with.

"Thank you, Rick. I'll talk to him if I feel like it. I'll just go downstairs to help them."

I walk past Rick and he gives way for me to grab the knob. But before I can even get out of his office. I gave him a genuine smile this time. "Thank you, Rick, for always giving me a chance."

I didn't wait for his reply and turn my back on him. I don't want him to see my face after what I said.

When the door closes, I felt that same pain om my temple. This is bad.

What a liar. You can hear me, but you chose to ignore me. You'll pay for that, soon.