Chapter 22 : four months later...

It's been four months since Drake died.

I have nightmares.

When I'm asleep, my mind can't stop replaying that night.

I have to watch it all happen, like a hovering third party, over and over again.

The dancing, the dining, Drake saving me...Kissing him. All of it.

And then the explosion.

It's like my mind is consumed with those last few seconds with him. It slows until everything is stopped. I see him, slowly realize what's about to happen. I see this...determination and...resolve (which really are the same thing,) fill his eyes, before his jaw sets and he looks at me with this adoring, all-consuming look. I see him cradle me into his chest and my look of panic as the glass windows shatter. I see myself pleading with Drake, to be okay.

To get out of the way.

I watch as I beg the goddess to help him.

She didn't.

"It was set in stone." She uttered when I questioned her later.

"I could not stop it. It had to happen. The future is set because of it," She told me, cryptically. As though that helps my broken heart.

"He is in a better place," She'd said.

"You shall meet him once your time is up." She said, to which my only answer was silence.

"...Worry not, Goddess chosen. He is happy. I gave him the choice, to live, or to sacrifice, and he chose to save you, even though I assured him I would not let you die. He...loved you. And because he loved you, and you, him. Goddess chosen, I have rewarded him...and you. You will see him again, just not anytime soon." She assured.

"If you gave him the choice, why couldn't you have just saved the both of us!?" I questioned, distraut.

"That was not up to me. I cannot interfere with the mortals, they are not my charge or prerogative. You are, and the ones like you, Goddess chosen. Antonio. It had to be his choice, I could only save him if he wanted to be saved and that's not what he wanted. I am sorry. I do not like when you are sad. This world is supposed to make you happy, and I am sorry that you lost your first love. But there will be another, and while you will never forget, and maybe not forgive Drake, you will be happy again. Just not with him." She finished, before leaving me alone with my thoughts.

And what destructive thoughts they were.

Recently, the church had been getting a lot of dragon complaints. I don't know why seeing as dragons don't actually exist. I think. Mother (Irene) says she's never encountered one. And Sheri assures me that It's probably just a young wyvern getting up to some trouble. Like the heroine and her trip down the rabbit hole labeled "Harem Route".

That's been troublesome.

The princess did not like that her second betrothed seemed to stray onto some barely noble girl at the academy. Dahlia is not even as pretty as the cute Lillian! Sure, she's seemingly exotic compared to the doll-like blue-eyed blonde Lillian, but she's pretty plain. She's pale, but still looks like a foreigner (Or a regular Chinese girl. That was the preferred target of the otome game) With alien olive eyes (they're like anime large, but since she's corporeal and not 2D, it looks strange. so alien.) with a pale brown iris, and straight black hair, with ruby red lips. so like the Asian snow white. heh.

I'm suddenly remembering this Asian troupe that performed on American Idol with this comedian dressed as snow white. heh. I think that's one of the things that I miss about my old world; music and technology. I don't think I miss anything else.

The dragons, or I suppose the young wyverns are stealing sheep and cows.

I'm not sure how true it is or if it's simply a prank but apparently, it's severe enough that I, the pope, am being called in.

With the recent terrorist attack, the king has granted me a fairly large personal army to protect me at all times. Overdramatic, in my opinion, (the goddess won't let me die.) but I suppose they have their use. Wyvern subjection, here we come!