Chapter 81: In which one leaves the hallway from hell

So, eventually, Korean whathisface did show up.

Did I attempt to kill him? Yes.

Did I suceed? No.

Am I bitter? Irivocably.

I'm lying. I've honestly distanced myself from the sitaution. Really, I don't even have time to think about that. THEY TOOK MY DRAGON!

I mean, it wasn't mine to begin with, but we've bonded these past two days after I absconded with him from the fire breathing mother dragon. But still. HE'S MINE! I stole him fair and square! They even said they'd give him back to his mother! I'm his mother!

"CYANIDE!" I had cried after the not purple alien had pried him out of my frozen arms. Frozen. Like this fucker is a disney princess with fucking Ice powers. I am not proud to say that I screamed, "Give me back my baby, you korean elsa wannabe queer!" and then said, "I'm going to fucking kill you, you thanos-loving not-purple dick fucker!" And then again, screamed at his back, voice practically hoarse at this point, "Come back here! Just you wait! I'M GOING TO GET FREE AND EAT YOU! you fucking baby stealer!" I mean, pot-kettle, me. But still.

MY BABY!

Gah! All I've wanted in this second life of mine was a DRAGON and now that I have one, he was taken from me! Damnit goddess!

I mean, come on! First Drake, then Sheri, and now my baby fucking dragon?

Maybe I should attempt to kill you, Aphrite!

Gah!

So here I am, tied up in yet ANOTHER sea side tower, with no forseeable exit insight when that half-breed Dorian wannabe just trampses in, acting like the world is all fucking roses and daisies. Like its' the seventies and were tree hugging hippies.

"Hi..." He trailed off, realizing I've never actually told him my name. And that he never asked.

And this lying, blue balled bastard said he wanted to be my FRIEND. Well, Buddy, I hate to break it to ya, but FRIENDS don't do this to their FRIENDS!

GAH!

Goddess help me!

"How are you?" He asked after a clearing of his disgusting half-breed throat.

I mean, really, he's just bringing his whole race--whatever that is--down with this careless attitude. And kidnapping the pope. THE BLOODY POPE! I mean, sure, he might not KNOW I'm the pope, but I'm the pope. The fucking pope. That has some value, somewhere, I swear.

"I never did get your name the other day," He's treating this as if we were at a tea party thrown by a mutual aquantance after having danced together at the ball the other night. This isn't cinderella, you fucking baby stealer. Pedophile. Maybe. I don't actually know what your doing with my child. But that korean thanos fucker said he was "returning him to his rightful place" like bish, I'm his MOTHER.

Sure, that blue green dragon witch gave birth to him, but he hatched in MY arms. I NAMED HIM. He's veritafiably MINE. Goddess given for the goddess' chosen.

"Antonio Von..." Holy hell, I...I can't remember my last name. Fuck. "Antonio Von Graves. The pope." I felt the need to add. "But as you are not permitted to call me by my name, it is only fitting to use my proper title, as I am clearly of a higher ranking than you." I sniffed.

He looked as though he hasn't been listening to a word I've said.

"His holiness, the pope. That is what people refer to me ask. Even the emperor and empress of the holy nation defer to me." I am important, damnit. And I want my fucking dragon back!

Again, I'm getting the distinct impression he's ignoring me. Or tuning my voice out. Fucking disrespectful. "So, Antonio--" Why do people constantly undermine my authority? Is it like the air about me? Do I scream "push over"? First it was that fucking healer with his kung-fu panda cookie hands, then it was that pedophile Dhalia, then my group of gal pals...gal pals...God my brian is fucking old. My FRIENDS claiming that I gave them permission to call me Ant or simething like that while DRUNK. And now it's this fucker.

Whatshisface that I kissed in the infinite corridor doesn't count because he didn't KNOW I was a pope. I think. That, and I can't remember his name, or what he looked like. Goddess' help me.

I feel like it hasn't even been two days since I last saw him.

I need to escape. And find my dragon. And go home. In that order.

I miss Cyanide!

"—Antonio, are you listening?" The dastardly dragon half-breed asked. His voice was too innocent and hurt for this situation.

"No, I wasn't listening. But do tell me. What was so important that you decided to hold me hostage?" I asked, rattling my chained arms for dramatic effect. He looked confused. "You literally KIDNAPPED me! Look, Drag-tastic this is not anything like your name, okay? This is horrible! I can't leave, I'm stuck here and you TOOK MY DRAGON! My child!"

He blinked. "He wasn't yours. He belongs with his mother. The one who gave birth to him and can properly take care of him."

This Goddess damned half-breed! I know, I know it was wrong to steal Cyanide but I couldn't help myself! I really, really wanted a dragon. That the mother wasn't there was just a sign from… well, the goddess.

"I am fully capable of taking care of Cyanide! I'm his mother! I watched his egg hatch, I held him, he's mine!"

The halfbreed just gave me a patronizing smile. "You really can't. He needs the heat of dragon fire and the blood of unicorns to grow properly."

"Things I can very well aquire!"

"You really can't."

"I am the Pope of the holy empire, voice of the Goddess Aphrite, and that was my fucking dragon. The mother wasn't there and it would have been irresponsible to leave it there alone. Therefore, I decided to take the responsibility of raising it. How dare you take him from me." I growled.

"…if your done. You are? Great. It's only until we have the passage to take you home, Antonio. We have contacted your kingdom and they are eager to come collect you."

My breath stopped.

"You mean…"

He smiled. "Yes. Welcome back to the land of the living, Antonio Von Grieves."

"If... if this is the land of the living, as you've said, where did you take my fucking dragon?!"

"We told you, back to it's mother."

"It's mother is still in the infinite corridor, behind a green door! Not behind your bloody castle!"

"Regardless, we will be returning the dragon to its mother."

Fuck this. If I'm in the land of living, with Aphrite, then...

I watched as my shackles burned off, like paper floating in the wind, away from my arms.

"Enough, Dead dragon. Tell me where. the. fuck. kornean took my fucking DRAGON!" I roared, my eyes lighting up. I was so fucking done.

"Now, calm down-"

And then he was dead.