Anguish

The bed groaned as Geumjae rested his body against the edge of the mattress. Head laden with numerous thoughts as to what to do with the extremely dangerous situation the Oasis members were in, he mindlessly ran his fingers through his hair. Eyes filled with frenzy.

He buried his head into his hands, not knowing what to do. Despite the confidence in his voice when he had told Iseul and Young Jae that he would figure something out, he had absolutely no clue as to solving the situation.

The hit had been placed on them for no apparent reason, and all they could do was to remain cautious. A negotiation was out of the question as there was nothing to say, no words could be exchanged for something they didn't know about.

The worst part was that this hit meant a lifetime of looking over your shoulder, and never being able to trust anyone. It was a punishment worse than death. Well, it was either that or death.

"Ugh, what am I going to do?" he lamented, pulling at his hair, trying to think of a solution. He couldn't even turn to his Consigliere. She's dead.

A chunk of ice settled in his stomach at the thought. Eun's mother was a cunning woman. She didn't have the strongest physique, but no one could break her mental barriers. In the end, all it took was a fucking truck to kill that wickedly beautiful mind.

The heels of his palms dug into his eyes, as he painfully tried to consider the options he had.

There's nothing I can do, what the hell am I going to tell the guys? I'm so screwed, this is the end of me

An amalgamation of humiliation, shame and embarrassment plunged Geumjae into its deep waters, threatening to drown him. His pride shattered acutely.

Come on Jae, think…. There has to be a way out of this

Taking a shuddering breath, Geumjae bridged his fingers together as he concentrated on ways to abate the situation. Staring intensely at his floor, he racked his brain.

Suddenly, he sprung up from the mattress, a gleam in his eye as he formulated a strategy to make his plan work.

At the same time, he felt a wave of guilt and pain unlock from the deepest labyrinthine passages of his heart. He had vowed never to do what he was about to do. And yet, here he was making a foolproof plan to make sure she helps them.

Even as he drove back to the Oasis building, he knew that roping her into this circumstance would just be the start of the avalanche of pain and remorse

∞

"Eun-ah, it's going to be okay," Jiwon gave him a small smile, a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder. Iseul and Young Jae offering toothy grins, comforting their leader.

Eun blinked slowly, eyes tired and painful from the lack of sleep. He couldn't bring himself to smile. It felt wrong like he was disrespecting his parents.

His dead parents, a cruel voice at the back of his head snarkily.

He could never forget it. The way they died, how they looked, what they were wearing, what they had last said to him. They haunted him. He had asked them to go on that trip.

It was your fault they died

The snide voice returned. He felt like he had given his parents to the Orchids on a silver platter. The guilt was eating him alive, clawing his insides.

He hadn't told anyone, he didn't know how to.

"Hyungie, come, let's have dinner," a warm hand caressed his own, Iseul's melodious voice bringing him back to reality. Sitting Eun down, Iseul mindlessly chatted away about something that had happened during the shootout, piling food on Eun's plate.

Pressing the chopsticks to Eun's fingers, Young Jae sat on the other side of Eun, motioning for him to start eating.

Eun held the chopsticks loosely, staring at his food. He felt nauseous just thinking about putting food into his mouth. Yet, he didn't want the others to feel like their leader was gone.

Gulping thickly, he was acutely aware of how dehydrated he was, a painful burn travelling down his throat. Gripping the utensils tightly, he gingerly picked up a thin sliver of meat and brought it up to his lips. Hesitantly, he parted his mouth, just big enough to slip it in.

He hadn't realised that everyone had stopped eating, waiting with bated breath to see their leader's reaction. He nibbled quietly, forcing himself to swallow the meat. Almost immediately he could feel the bile rising in his throat, the need to vomit overcoming him. He held his stomach, doing his best to keep it down.

Seeing his leader's struggle, Jiwon handed him a glass of cold water. Gratefully accepting the cup, Eun downed it in one go. Deciding that it would be prudent to stay away from food, Eun sat at the dining table watching his friends eat.

"What do you think is going to happen?" Young Jae asked Iseul. Everyone had retired to their rooms, except for Young Jae and Iseul who shared a room, after dinner.

"Honestly, I don't know," Iseul sighed, getting up from beside Young Jae, unbuttoning his shirt.

"The situation seems inexplicable… I mean, there might be a way… but I don't think Geumjae hyung would go to such lengths," Iseul laughed nervously. Tilting his head in confusion, Young Jae waited for Iseul to continue, but no other words came out of the young man.

Young Jae inhaled deeply, eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Iseul.

What was Iseul not telling him? He seemed so hesitant when he said there might be a way… What is it?

"Jae, don't think about it so much. I'm sure things will work out," Iseul smiled, caressing Young Jae's cheek. Nodding silently, Young Jae unbuttoned his shirt, changing into something more comfortable as he lay beside Iseul, who was scrolling through his phone. Young Jae rolled over and faced Iseul, eye-level with his thighs.

Don't think about it so much How could he not? His members, his friends, his family had a target on their backs. A rather big one. He could feel a small hand on his head, gently stroking his hair. He felt the exhaustion weigh down on him as he gradually succumbed to sleep.

"Goodnight, Jae. I love you," were the last words he heard before he was fully sucked into slumber