Ch 26 "Insecurity!"

The whole ride was silent , no one of us dare to talk to the other , IN FACT dad was just saying those sweet words just to stop the rage and the pure anger inside me just to cool me down once we reach home cause he know that I am done with this bullshit , I just kept the anxiety and anger and sadness inside holding tightly my violin....it makes me feel safe makes me feel occupied when I feel lonely , we reached home safely dad got out first took my luggage and took his first move to the door without even turning to me , he was on a rush of course for her , I slowly got out holding my bag slowly going inside....when I saw my dad and..her...kissing passionately he grabbing her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck , I turned away in disgust I was gonna puke from what I have seen so I coughed to grab their attention which it worked

"Oh Lorraine darling....I missed you so much!" Sandra said walking towards me and hugged me

I forced myself and hugged her back in the end she is my step-mother and...she didn't do anything to make me hate her "Me too.."

"I think you enjoyed staying with Miss Carla and her daughter , that's why you didn't contact us!" She said laughing in the end of the sentence

"Yeah , sorry about that and...congrats by the way!"

She suddenly looked at my dad with confusing expression , I couldn't understand then she turned to me with a smile and placed her hand on her tummy rubbing it slowly

"You already know about it , I was planning to tell you myself but looks like you got the information before I give it to you anyway thanks deer!"

"Hope the baby is in a healthy state.." I said smiling , putting my hand on her tummy , Sandra put her other hand on my hand and pat on it softly "in a good state...I hope it's a girl so you have company and don't be the only girl-" but my dad cut her saying "I hope he is a boy....so he can take care of his family....and take my name and work plus I already have a beautiful angel that can't be replaced!" He came and hugged me I gave him a slight smile hugging him back

"So Lorraine , you must be tired now , you can go and take some rest food will be ready in 10 minutes" Sandra said

"..... yeah....umm I will go now thanks Sandra"

I took my bags and went straight to my room still I can hear the giggles from down stairs , I felt somehow relieved you know , both of them are quite fine with me and they are enjoying their time so I have to loosen up and chill! Plus I am tired so I have no power to cry or overthink it's useless at the moment so for now I want to rest that's what I am thinking

I went to the bathroom , and let the water fall down on my head taking all my stress with it , I let out a deep sigh messaging my muscles and shoulders , I can hear the sound of my bones cracking , I felt so light...once I gained my energy I got out of the bathroom and wore comfy clothes and fell on the bed , I didn't want anything at all more than sleep a good deep sleep , but when my eyes was about to fall I got a phone call from Chloe and Emma a smile plastered on my face

"Hey girls!" I said in a low voice

"How is it going?" Emma asked

"Not that bad I was about to sleep anyways.."

I can hear giggles through the phone , I let out a Chuckle and laughed with them

"We can see that!" Chloe said

"At least you are fine with them right...right Lor?"

"For now Emma...for now...I hope it stays like this , I just feel worried about me being with them!"

"Don't.... it's okay don't worry at all it will be fine I am sure , your father know about the courses you take right?" Emma asked with a concerned tone.

"Carla said she told him about it , but I don't know how to open this topic in front of her!"

"Chill...you need to relax and get some confidence , and I know he can't reject his older sister's request , it's over! You are continuing this even if he doesn't agree from inside , Lorraine remember he did what he wants and you waited for more than enough it's your turn and you don't do anything wrong , don't let your insecurity get over you!" Chloe said with a sharp tone

"Right...you are right!"

"That's my girl! , Okay you gotta go take some rest and as Chloe said...confidence Lorraine you are not doing something awful! You are going on the right path!"

"Okay...thanks girls!".

"No need babe...if you need anything I am here , Emma here even Lucinda okay ... Bye!"

"Bye!"

I closed the phone and leaned back on the bed , to be honest I gained more energy after talking to them , they are right I am not doing anything wrong I am doing the right thing I am doing what I should have done from the begging so I need to stop overthinking it's actually fine!

I was about to close my eyes , but I heard a knocking on my door , I sighed heavily and facepalm myself

"Come in!"

"Lorraine darling food is ready!"

I looked up and found Sandra on the door giving me soft smile , although I am tired AND I was nearly gonna break down in anger and frustration but I managed to put that small grin on my face

"Thanks Sandra , you didn't have to!"

"What are you saying , of course I had...it's nothing Lorraine...come on I bet you are starving now , I made your fav!"

I was a bit shocked that she knows my fav but I swallowed down those negative energy still having that grin on my face

"I am really hungry to be honest , so....shall we go the food smells so good to be honest!"

She giggled a bit holding her tummy "You think so? Hope you like it!"

"I am sure I will!"