TAKE YOUR PETS TO WORK EVERYDAY AT WALMART

Since Boya lost his job at the goth department store because his neighbors bloody cat made him late and his boss was a cantankerous old woman who could accept anything but tardiness, he had been living on a bit of a budget. Getting paid double wages at the cafe, and being able to buy new leathers rather than having to thrift or save up, reminded him of the joys of financial excess and motivated him to get another part time job. Less time working with the exhausting Zhao Zhen, who was possibly the most annoyingly flamboyant boss to exist, would be good for his mental wellness, and more wages enabled him to live better. That's why he looked at all the local businesses, got reviews from other sources of information he wouldn't disclose and took a long time to decide on what job to get, and ended up with the shop assistant position at the local Walmart. The employees he talked to while he did his weekly shopping seemed happy enough, the shop had a constant supply of stock and the boss was a nice, forgiving fellow as bosses went, not that Boya had to be told that after that trout fired him for being ten minutes late for the first time.

Qiming, the boss of the local Walmart, never expected his goth neighbor to apply for a job at the same place he worked, and he didn't need to be told that it was only for the money and fact that he thought Walmart was a happy neighbor free. Boya hadn't talked to him ever since he was generously allowed in the cafe twice a day, as long as he kept a metre away from the emo, but fate, or more like the need to earn money, was finally pushing them together after months of cold avoidance! The employees looked anxiously over at their boss, who usually wasn't this happy at work, among the stress of running a major chain supermarket and vet bills for poor Fangyue's broken hind leg.

Shen Wei and Zhan Yao treated their friend to coffee on the morning of his new job, to wish him good luck and make sure the manager at Walmart got awake Boya, not snappy, scary sleepy Boya. In the sunny yellow and black Polo shirt, plain black jeans with leather accents, because full leathers weren't in the employee dress code, and grey converse, he cut a dashing figure and Shen Ge had no doubts he would be extremely popular with the middle aged women and college students in the store. "We need to get to the university, but good luck A-Ya. The bus is coming, Shen Ge, we have to catch it!", Zhan Yao said urgently, dragging the professor away with a caffeine induced smile. The little emo felt like nothing could go along now, and his shelf stacking career would be the most relaxing job yet, as he walked the short ten minute distance to Walmart.

It was relaxing until he saw happy neighbor Qiming in the manager's office, in what must be some kind of horrible joke, because he had a badge making him out to be manager Qiming Song. "You run Walmart, and no one really knows? I thought it was the old man who liked grandad cardigans and tea, you know, since he gave me my uniform and rota.", he exclaimed in horror, wishing he hadn't signed a year long contract without asking more about his co-workers.

Life was mean, nasty and damn right unfair for people like Boya, who just wanted to live his natural lifespan in relative comfort with minimal stress, or why else did the neighbor opposite him, with the opposite personality too, happen to work as the boss of Tallahassee Walmart? His life was difficult enough without more servings of Qiming, and if the fur against his ankles was what he thought it was, his bloody cat honey bug! The plump American girl in the platform shoes next to him was stacking cat treats and turned to scratch the boss' feline princess under her smoky grey chin like this was a normal occurrence, so Fangyue must have been in the shop as well. He continued stacking the shelves with mega boxes of wet cat food sachets, since that's what they were paying him to do, not act as a babysitter for the animals that should never be allowed in a supermarket. "Newbie, have you met honey and fang properly yet? The boss lets them roam when we haven't got many customers, to keep the spoiled devils happy while he works, so don't be surprised to see a Russian blue or samoyed around.", she said cheerfully. Although the other employees might find store mascots amusing, Boya was doubtful he would, ever since honey bug threw up on his shoes and made him lose his last good job.

However much he despised the preening animal, the last thing he wanted to do was let his co-workers see bad Boya before they learned more about who he was and why he was a snarky emo. So he stacked the last box of fancy feast and called honey bug to him, who recognised the smell of leather as that nice balcony owner that let her hairball in his house, and went straight to his arms. When she wasn't messing him or his apartment up, the Russian blue was quite cute, purring against his chest and filling his bitter heart with warmth. "Don't vomit on me anymore of my clothes and we could actually be friends, now you have to roam around me at work.", he murmured softly. American girl, real name Samantha, cooeed at the cute newbie hugging the store cat like he did it on a regular basis.

Little did Boya know that Qiming was watching from his office, and had little hearts in his eyes, because cold and mean Boya was secretly a sop for pets and cute things as long as he didn't have any personal issues with them. Next day he would definitely send Fangyue out and test the waters with a dog.

In the grocery section of Walmart later that day, Shen Wei was shopping for his favourite imported brand of rice, because no other brand quite lived up to how fluffy and light this one went once he had plonked it in his trusty rice cooker, also imported from his homeland. It did cost a bit more than the Walmart own brand rice though, so he always tried to buy it on offer or haggle like he was at the market in Chinatown, neither of which really worked, since he was shopping in the 100% commercialised Tallahassee Walmart, where people were too busy to haggle over bread and just paid the amount requested. This time, his chance to dispute the price of $25 a bag was taken, by officer Bai, who was trying to get cheaper chicken thighs by saying the meat didn't look as fresh as the best before date promised. "Mr Bai, the poor shop assistant was saying, "I'm not in charge of the pricing, no one here is, and unless you find a legitimate reason, like one someone won't get fired for, why the bumper pack of thighs is worth less, I can't help you sir. I don't know why you and that rice guy want to haggle about prices predetermined by head office, it's only $12 for enough chicken to feed a small army!"

Hearing such wonderful and determined haggling, Shen Wei felt the presence of a kindred spirit in the local vicinity, who was none other than officer Bai Yutong, who should have had more than enough money to pay the price asked judging by his superdry tracksuit. "Officer Bai, I didn't know you liked to haggle. Since you can't get your discount, can I try for my rice please?", he asked nicely, holding the 2kg bag of rice like it weighed nothing at all. Yutong sighed, but kindly let his new friend have a go at the customer service representative, who looked like she wanted to die.

"No, don't even start Mr rice, that bag costs $25 today and as I told Mr chicken, I can't give discounts based on pretty complaints. Having a tiny hole in the bag, the bag being discolored and the weight being 1g under are not valid complaints, and I would rather work at a farm scooping shit than argue about another bag of bloody rice.", she spat out venomously, stomping off to get a soda. Bai Yutong and Shen Wei looked at each other, then at their chosen products, and sighed because this meant they were unlikely to get away with haggling here again, unless the commerce world changed dramatically. The nicknames were only too fitting, and far too catchy for the whole of Walmart not to know about the horrors of the haggling Mr rice and Mr chicken, but for the price of $25 and $12 respectively, they had gained haggling brotherhood. This was momentarily more important than anything else, until the next person in line for customer service started complaining.

Shen Wei had to go home and cook for the meeting that night and in retrospect, he shouldn't have spent that long at Walmart if he wanted to have the full time after work to cook, yet the professor was a calm man, and pulled off all the celebration dishes he had planned to make for Boya in time. He just needed to give his apartment an extra polish, pull out the good shot glasses and lay his best dishes out on his medium sized coffee table, you know, since he didn't have any comfortable chairs and his friends were all used to sitting on cushions on the floor. Boya was on snack duty, which should be even easier now he literally worked at a supermarket, due to arrive at any minute, Zhan Yao provided the movie and was sitting on his couch ready to begin, and Gongsun was just dropping by his place to pick up the soju he had chosen to buy this week at the specialty liquor store, so everything was ready. The doorbell rang with a snazzy little jazz chime, the soju supplier slinked in, followed by the equally snack man, and the party could fully commence!

Before everyone descended into drunkenness, the all important task for the night had to be done, working out the titanic! Ever since Zhan Yao, Shen Wei and Boya had tried briefly, they couldn't help wondering if it was not that hyped, or if they just didn't feel that strongly about the general theory of love at first sight that was worth dying for, and Gongsun was the oldest and wisest out of the group, so if he was as clueless as them, the movie was too confusing for anyone. There was lots of eye rolls at the obviously doomed romance, a bad reenactment of draw me like one of your french girls, which was basically a topless Boya 'Rose' and a very tipsy Zhan 'Jack' Yao mock drawing him, giving reasonable weight as to how uninteresting the movie was. Once Zhan Yao had presented a remarkably good sketch of his french girl, a whole other debate opened up, thanks to Gongsun and his alarming knowledge of bodily floatation. When Jack ended up dying from pneumonia, he died unnecessarily, even if he loved the rich girl, as the wise doctor theorised.

"The door was big enough for her skinny Victorian body and his malnourished body to fit on, in dimensions and weight, so the whole tragic death is pointless because they could have floated to safety until people found them alive. You wasted your time on this venture into romance Yao Didi, and proved my point about how crap western movies can be.", Gongsun concluded. He had that smug look on his face that screamed that he was the master of the situation, but no one was in the mood for a fight, so the other five soju bottles got brought out and circle time began instead. Zhan Yao made a half hearted grumble about Bai Yutong being an ungrateful slob and downing the cold brew that Shen Ge so kindly bought for him and officer Zhao before he to thanked him first, but he was also adding in about how hot officer Bai was in his uniform, so everyone took that with a pinch of Walmart own brand salted chip crumbs, which was all there was left in the bag currently open.

Shen Wei as usual tried to not complain, despite the point of introvert meetings essentially being therapy to express anger at the extroverts they had to put up with, but they loved his company regardless and let him have his oddly calm rants about the woman who kept harassing poor Yunlan to go out with her. "I don't think Lan Er likes Zhu Hong at all, or the fancy restaurants she goes to, because he always comes to my home for dinner, even if he's already had dinner with her.", he said anxiously. Zhan Yao had heard Shen Ge basically admit that he was jealous of the small amount of time Zhu Hong could wrangle from Zhao Yunlan far to many times to not see the deeper meaning of each grumble, and he was virtually getting ready to attend the winter wedding of the YunWei couple. Yet no one spoke of this age old relationship, to maintain their brotherhood, and they silently moved on to the issue Boya and having to work with his happy neighbor. It was a problem that wouldn't go away as long as he wanted the work, and the cat wasn't as naughty as at home.

Gongsun, drunk of course by now, was of the firm opinion that being cheated out of $5 without an explanation was the highest sin imaginable while working in a police station, but drunk Gongsun was bad at explaining what actually happened. His brain kept straying back to the unfortunate car crash cadaver, and despite his fellow introverts appetite for a decent gore movie, they weren’t exactly sharing the same enthusiasm as he was obviously feeling when he described gut milkshake. “So, just as I finally located the dozens of pieces of spleen from liver and kidney mush in the abdominal cavity, considering how small a human spleen can be, that’s a lot by the way, and that slutty secretary interrupted me. I was really involved in fixing my skewered corpse up, so when she said I owed someone $4, I told my assistant to grab the fiver from my coat pocket and end it. Then, once I sewed my job for the day up, I saw that it was that cheeky fucker Jintang who got my last $5 note, and heard that he used it to buy celebratory wontons.”, he explained vividly. During this time, Boya and Shen Ge, who were pretty tipsy before the hand wavey rant about the Pd chief, and drunk through half a bottle of soju together, into a very hazy state of drunkenness.

The saturday hangovers were worth it for the marvellous friday meetings, even if gongsun was left throwing indiscernible stomach contents up in Shen Wei’s previously sparkling toilet, while Boya took the sink and Zhan Yao just groaned under his Shen Ge on the crumpled bed. Shen Ge had this habit of literally sleeping on people when he was drunk, and since the TA was always the first one to crawl on the only bed in the apartment, he usually became one with the mattress under the professor.