Chapter 6. World with feelings

when you are the sick one

When you are the one who is sixteen years old and have four medications for different illnesses. Appreciate your body, appreciate your healthy body, please. Appreciate your health. If you don't you will regret it later. I didn't appreciate mine enough until I lost it. Sickness takes away a lot. It steals time. It steals a friend and things u can do with them. It steals good feelings. It steals. Happiness and it leaves you with depression and heavy feelings.

How many times do you wake up in pain at night?

How many times a week you have to go home from school because you are in constant pain?

How many times a day you can't do something because of the constant pain you are in? How many times a day you feel pain?

I am getting tired...I am starting to lose my mind...I am starting to get tired of this pain that I have had last three years. I have missed so much because of my pain. I would be at the competition level at gymnastics. I have missed so many summer nights out with friends because of this.

How many medicines you take per day? I take nine in the morning and eight at night. that is seventeen pills per day. It is a lot for 16 years old I know. Do they help? No. Yes. But not enough. I feel pain. Yeah, feeling pain is normal but I feel it more than most people because I am the sick one.

If you are still healthy you are one of the lucky ones. 95% of the world's population has health problems. But a health problem can be a lack of something like for example folic acid. If you are healthy or mostly healthy don't ruin your health. It is not always going to be as good as it is now. Some day you are gonna lose it, some of us lose it earlier than others. I already lost mine.

Life as INFJ

If you don't know what INFJ is: it is one of the 16 personality types. INFJ stands for introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging. This personality type is one of the rarest. Only 3% of the world population are INFJ.

What we are like?

INFJs are usually highly sensitive. They are very emotional themselves and they also count other people's feelings. It's important how we are feeling and how we affect people around us. And how people around us affect us. They are typically idealistic. INFJs have high moral standards and a strong focus on the future. INFJs enjoy thinking about deep topics and with them, you can get to a very deep level when you are having a conversation with an INFJ. We often wonder why we are alive, what is the meaning of life ect.? Like I said we are very idealistic. We are thoughtful. INFJs often also have a strong sense of intuition and emotional understanding.

INFJs are introverted. We often need time for ourselves. This personality type is also able to form strong, meaningful relationships with other people. They enjoy helping others, but they also need time and space to themselves. We are introverts but we also can seem extroverted. Well, we are not. We still can form relationships and we are good with conversations. We think a lot so if we are comfortable around you we will always have something to talk about, but if we feel uncomfortable we think too much about what to say.

As every personality type has its strengths and weaknesses, here are ours.

We are very sensitive to the needs of others. And also ourselves. We are highly creative and artistic. We think about the future and we do our own parts in society. If we want something we will work for it. As I said we are introverts, but we still value close and deep relationships. We don't have to have a gigantic group of people around us. Few close friends will do. We enjoy thinking about the meaning of life, but sometimes we think about it too much. I would say that it is also a strength and a weakness.

We can be overly sensitive. We overthink. It stresses us out. We are not very open at first. You need to form a deeper relationship in order to get to know us. So sometimes we can be difficult to get to know. Our standards are very high. We usually have overly high expectations.

INFJs are not the easiest personality type to get to know. Like every personality type, we have our good and bad sides. We can be highly sensitive. It can be a weakness and a strength. Sometimes our high sensitivity overwhelms us. I am still proud of being one of that 3% of the world population INFJs.

Overall feelings

Sometimes feelings are hard, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it makes you cry and sometimes it makes you laugh. Sometimes you feel so many feelings at the same time that you can't even recognize what feeling is consuming you. But you know what? It is okay. It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to be confused about feelings. Feelings really are hard.

Sometimes I get comments like don't be so sensitive or don't take it personally. But who are they to tell me what I can feel and what I can not feel. No one has the right to tell others what they can and can't feel. Your feeling your business, not anyone else's, okay? Feelings are personal and a normal base of human connection. Don't judge someone else's feelings. Feelings are already hard enough to deal with and when someone judges your point of view or mocks you about your sensitivity makes it ten times harder to feel accepted.

What I am trying to say is that feelings are hard, okay? Some of us have high sensitivity that makes being accepted even harder. Mind your own business, okay?