Silent Sorrows

Day 5 pt 2

Yun now sat under the peach blossoms they could always calm him down one way or the other no matter what. He took a deep breath breathing in the sweet scent of the blossoms.

He thought back on Fei's words ..they've tried to have this conversation at least 5 times just this year, he hopes his brother would just take the hint.

His future? What's his future he had no present so how is he gonna have a future?.

I'm at my limit... I'm so tired I've been trying so hard to keep everything steady but being here under these blossoms I can finally let it out even if it's just a bit ..it's okay to cry sometimes never hide your tears let them flow let them free ..sometimes you are gonna lose something that you wouldn't be able to replace and that's okay let your tears free and let them speak their pain.

He didn't try to wipe the tears streaming down his face he let them keep flowing.

leave the past and the past will leave you was it? but what if the past is all you have what if it's only in the past that you feel alive? how is he supposed to leave it?.

He took a deep breath again and let himself drown in the sweet scent and forget whatever has been going on, afterward he stood up to leave only for his legs to tremble which made him to fall onto the blossom-covered ground. He didn't try to get up though he stayed there for a while staring up at the beautiful crescent moon.

I wonder when I can finally go home. Maybe it was the sweet scent or maybe he was just tired but he soon felt his eyes give in to the tiredness.

When he finally woke up he was in his bed.. the first thing he noticed was little ying waiting by his bedside like she always did ..he suddenly felt a shiver and coughed a bit.

Ying quickly called for the physician. It just so appears that he's running a fever..he didn't even bother asking about what happened after he passed out yesterday or who found him nor did she ask why they found him lying on the ground it was a mutual understanding between the father-daughter pair.

He slowly tried to sit up dismissing yings hands as she tried to help him..he then patted the seat next to him she quietly sat down next to him not saying a word. He failed to see how she resembled any of them but somehow she still reminds him of Yang ..perhaps it's the stunning grey eyes they have in common ..they were so different yet shined the same when they were reflecting him in them. He gently patted her head she quietly stood up and came back later with some paper and ink. He hadn't even asked for them before he could say something the gentle voice reminded him

" You haven't written your fifth letter yet" Yun quickly peaked out the open window to see that it's still not morning which means they found him not that long ago. But then again There's no way anyone would wander around his quarters at that time unless someone had been watching him from afar the whole time he looked up to ying who is holding out the ink and paper for him..she peered right into him but those light gray eyes failed to give him the answer he had been looking for.

After a while, he told her to just leave them there and that she is dismissed Ying opened her mouth to say something but then decided not to and left as he had requested.

Yun looked at the paper and ink ying left on the table he stared at it for a while then stood up to move towards it.

He held the brush in his hands and thought for a while he began

Dear Yang.

At this point I do not know what to write I thought I have a lot to talk to you about but every day I keep asking you the same things over and over again it's not that I have nothing to speak with you about. it's just that the moment I hold the brush my mind goes blank .. do you know since you've been gone I've been very tired all day long and fei has gotten more and more annoying now that he has his own family he should start to be more mature and not tell me stories I know you'll be back soon but I can't help but ask when are you coming back? Ying misses you too you know I've been thinking maybe I should teach her how to make peach blossom cakes too? she cooks so well I'm sure she'd do well don't you think so? I'll send some over to the military camp as well but I'm afraid by the time they reach you..you will already be back so I guess we can make some all together when you are back I'm sure she'd love that as well what do you think? make sure to write back to me and please do take care of yourself.

Yun forgot to ask ying for the red thread it seems he looked around hoping to find something... he suddenly pulled out the red ribbon he had used to keep his long white hair up he quickly used it to tie the letter close but was now in dilemma on whether he should call for Ying or not ..he decided the latter since he was growing tired the fever is really getting the best of him right now, he sealed the letter then left it on the table when he turned around for a second he felt like he saw yang with him in the mirror reflection he quickly shook his head and tried to go to sleep but his head has been killing him lately.

Behind the doors of his quarters, waiting was little Ying she had been staying there lost in thought

the princess had been noticing her fathers worsening health more than anyone the problem is that she can't do anything about it because of how stubborn he is

she oh so desperately want things to go back to how they were a few years back.. she took a deep breath and quietly went inside picked up the letter and left.